by Maisey Yates
Just like she’d done with Dane.
Beatrix took the drink and the advice under advisement as she went to the table. “Hi,” she said, having a seat. “I didn’t realize we were all coming out tonight.”
“We’re hangers-on,” McKenna said, sneaking a glance over at Lindy. Lindy, for her part, looked agitated.
Bea was willing to bet very decent money that Lindy had planned to take her out and lecture her, and that anyone but Sabrina—who Bea imagined Lindy considered a sure thing when it came to being an ally—was considered a potential rogue agent.
Well, Bea was not going to allow Lindy to have the floor unopposed.
“I’m sleeping with Dane,” Bea announced. “There, now you can stop looking so awkward, Lindy.”
McKenna practically hooted with delight, Kaylee was grinning, Lindy looked like she wanted to crawl underneath the table, Sabrina seemed stoic.
Jamie was completely unreadable.
“That is why Lindy asked to go out with me tonight,” Beatrix said. “And I imagine she felt irritated that you all complicated her intention to come out and have an intervention for me. So I figured I would just get that out of the way.”
“When?” McKenna asked.
“Two days ago.” Bea was enjoying the way everyone was looking at her. Like she was an unpredictable marvel. She didn’t think she’d ever been an unpredictable marvel before. “It’s very good sex,” she continued.
Lindy looked like she might implode.
A little bit of embarrassment flashed through her at the thought. Because she couldn’t think about it without imagining what it was like to be with him. And that was a bit intense.
“I’m not trying to have an intervention,” Lindy said slowly. “But I did want to make sure that you were...okay.”
“Dane would never hurt me,” Bea said. “Why would you ask me that?”
“It’s not that I think he would... Bea... He’s...”
“He’s older than you,” Sabrina said. “And he’s done a lot more living than you. I’m not criticizing him, it’s just that things are a little bit imbalanced there.”
“And that’s different from either of your husbands...how?” Bea stared at them blandly. They both blinked back.
“Wyatt isn’t older than me,” Lindy said defensively. “Two years is nothing.”
“Didn’t you first try to sleep with Liam when you were seventeen?” Bea turned her focus to Sabrina. “And wasn’t he in his twenties at the time?”
“That’s different,” Sabrina said. “First of all, because it was actually a really bad idea. And he broke my heart for a decade. It took us that long to figure things out. So it could be argued that even though it all came out in the end, it was a very, very bad idea for all the reasons I stated earlier and both of us had to go through a lot of pain.”
“Well, I’m just using Dane for sex,” Bea said cheerfully, taking a sip of her rum and Coke.
Lindy closed her eyes, as if in prayer. But Bea doubted she was praying.
McKenna laughed. “That’s my girl.”
“Did you encourage her to do this?” Lindy asked.
McKenna shrugged. “Maybe. Anyway, why not? You all get to have fun with your respective sexy cowboys and she doesn’t? It’s bull. She’s not a kid.”
“I’m not,” Bea agreed. “In fact, that’s why I wanted to get the Dane stuff out of the way. Because it doesn’t matter. My sex life is my business. It always has been. You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve done or haven’t done.”
“Have you ever been with anyone else?” Lindy asked.
McKenna waved a hand. “Neither here nor there.”
“It’s very much here and there,” Lindy said.
“Whatever. Also I want you to know, I’ve been going to school and working toward getting my certification to be a vet tech.”
She was committed now. To sharing who she was. What she wanted from life. To showing them she was a person and not just their cheerful friend who lived in the woods.
Kaylee smiled. “And you’re going to be a great one.”
“I think so,” Beatrix said, keeping her tone firm. “I’m mostly going to apply those skills to my animal sanctuary. I worked out a whole plan with Dane, and we started toward getting nonprofit status. He’s been helping me with logistics like building, and taking some of the load while I keep studying for my final. But it’s mostly all my idea. I managed to put it all together. I just... That’s not something a kid does. I’m not a kid. I’m not less than any of you because I’m a couple of years younger. And I’m not... I’m not stupid. About anything. I know who I am, I know what I want. The sanctuary is the most important thing to me. These animals that we just took in are a great start. But once I can actually establish myself as an official nonprofit organization I should be able to take in a lot more animals and make a huge difference. I finally figured out what to do with my passion. And unfortunately, there’s not a career track in high school for ‘so you want to rescue animals.’ But I figured one out. I’m going to chase that.”
“Well, as much as I would love to have you at the clinic,” Kaylee said, “I definitely understand you wanting to apply what you’ve learned at your own place.”
“I might still do a couple days a week at the clinic,” Beatrix said. “I need to gain experience, and it would be really great to work with your guidance. All of the things that I’m learning in this course are great, but I always figure things out faster when I can just do them.”
McKenna smirked. “Are you currently in the process of figuring Dane out?”
Bea sniffed delicately. “Perhaps.”
For their part, Lindy and Sabrina seemed stunned into silence.
“Good for you, Bea,” McKenna said. “I can’t think of anyone better to run an animal sanctuary. Or any kind of sanctuary. I don’t think people understand how important caregivers are. But as somebody who spent her whole life without anyone caring for me, showing up in Gold Valley and having you show me the kindness that you did made so much difference. Kindness isn’t weakness. I spent most of my life in and out of foster care and afraid to show real caring to anyone because I might get hurt. I know that it takes strength to open yourself up like you do and care for people. And care for animals, and care about anything.”
Bea practically shimmered with warmth. “Thank you,” she said.
The conversation took several different directions after that, and after a while Lindy moved and took a spot right next to Bea. “I’m sorry,” Lindy said softly.
“For?”
“Dane said something to me earlier, and I didn’t listen to him then. I should have. Because listening to McKenna talk tonight, listening to you talk, I realized he was...not wrong.” Lindy took a deep breath. “He said that the reason I was upset about the two of you being together was that I was afraid of what it meant for me. That I was afraid... That I would have my life disrupted if something happened between you two. He’s right. I was scared of him hurting you. Of the two of you not being able to be in the same room anymore. And what that would mean for my vision of this family that we have. And it’s not fair. That’s not really concern for either of you. It’s concern for me. I feel... Bea, I love you. I really do. Like a sister. You are the kindest person that I know. McKenna’s right. It’s tempting to see that as a weakness. It isn’t though. When I think about you, and how long I’ve known you... You’ve always gotten everything you wanted. Quiet and stubborn and determined. And suddenly you’re over there doing exactly what you set out to do without any help from anybody. I’m not sure that I’ve ever fully appreciated what that says about you. I know I haven’t. I’m sorry. You’ve always taken my interference with grace. And you’ve always been kinder to me about my clumsy advice than I deserve. I want you to be happy. If Dane makes you happy... Well, then I’m glad that you’re with him.�
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“Thank you,” Bea said.
“And I’m sorry about the sanctuary too. And that it took me a while to kind of get on board with it.”
“I really do understand that.”
Lindy grimaced. “That’s something else I don’t deserve. And more evidence of how strong you are. The way that you’re able to understand where people are coming from.”
Bea had never considered that a particular gift. In fact, she had never particularly considered herself gifted with people. Not considering how everything had happened with her father. Her biological father. That anyone here felt differently was... It was a revelation. The best kind.
“I love you,” Bea said to Lindy. “You’re wonderful. And you’re like my sister. And nothing can change that. Even you divorcing my brother didn’t change it.”
“That’s true,” Lindy said.
In that moment, Beatrix really did feel strong. Because Lindy had been afraid of...losing her. And that made Beatrix feel good, even while she didn’t want Lindy to feel that way. But it made her feel like she mattered. And it was something kind of marvelous.
Bea got up to get herself a basket of french fries and regular Coke so that all of the effects of the alcohol would vanish before she decided to drive home, and Jamie joined her at the bar. “So you did it,” Jamie said. “Seriously. You’re not just saying that?”
Bea scoffed. “Why would I just say that? And by did it do you mean I had sex? Or do you mean I made a move on Dane specifically.”
“Both? All?”
Jamie was looking at her with quiet awe and Bea was struck by yet another strange shift. She knew more than Jamie. And Jamie couldn’t pretend that wasn’t true. Because Bea was quite certain Jamie had never seen a penis. Not the way that Bea had.
She felt... Well, she felt smug. “It’s fun,” Bea said lightly.
She turned to Laz and placed her order, and Jamie ordered the same.
“Fun?” Jamie pressed.
Bea sniffed. “Yes. I mean, that’s the thing. There’s no reason to be all uptight about it. I was for a while. I mean, I kept thinking that I had to know it could turn into something. But now I get it. It doesn’t have to. We’re just...having fun.”
“Fun,” Jamie repeated.
“Yes,” Bea repeated again. “It’s kind of...athletic. And...and...he’s very attractive.” Fun was perhaps not the best description for what she and Dane had. There was an intensity to it that really didn’t encompass fun. But they did laugh sometimes. And Dane said the most outrageous and dirty things. And it felt good. So that was...definitely a way of putting it.
“I guess. That’s kind of how men see it,” Jamie said, a crease appearing between her brows. “Like a sport. Like roping or something. So, I’m not sure why a woman couldn’t see it the same way.”
“Exactly,” Bea said.
“Good for you,” Jamie said, nodding. “I mean, I know I said all of that about Dane, and bull riders and all of that. But you’re right. If you know what you’re getting into... Then I guess it doesn’t really matter if a guy is going to stay with you or not.”
Bea ignored the pang in her chest. “Right. And I went into it knowing exactly what I was doing.”
“Right.”
Bea wasn’t sure exactly what Jamie was thinking of, and she imagined that later she would worry that she had somehow encouraged her friend to do something rash, but for now, Beatrix was just enjoying the small little shifts happening in all the people around her. The ways that they were forced to see her. As someone capable. As an adult.
As someone who knew what she wanted and set about to get it.
Yes, that’s who she was.
And if there was a little bit of a heaviness in her chest when she tried to explain the practicalities of her relationship with Dane, well, that was nothing she couldn’t handle. She knew exactly who she was. And now, so did the people around her. She was going to focus on that being a win.
Because for the first time in her life, Beatrix Leighton felt respected by every single person sitting at the table.
And maybe she couldn’t have everything. But she had that.
So she would take it.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
THE DODGES HAD been trying to rope Dane into a poker game for months, and he figured after Wyatt had put in so much time on Bea’s sanctuary, today was the day he had to give in. And so he had, but that meant that of course he found himself now seated at a table with his brother-in-law, who was still clearly a little bit up in arms over the situation with Bea.
Gabe Dalton had also joined the game tonight, along with Bennett and Grant Dodge. Dane had never been to one of the games before, but he had the impression that Gabe wasn’t a regular either. And had likely been invited because of the work they’d all put in together earlier. And maybe because Wyatt wanted to reinforce that he was large and grumpy, seeing as Jamie was about to start work officially at the Dalton ranch.
“I fold,” Grant said, his face contorting in disgust. “This is terrible.”
“What’s terrible?” Wyatt asked, looking cheerful. “The fact that I’m taking money away from all you douchebags?”
“I think you cheat,” Bennett said.
“I don’t cheat,” Wyatt said. “How would I cheat? I would have to be smart enough to count cards, and I think we all know I’m not smart enough to do that. If I were, do you think that I would be ranching? Do you think I would have spent so many years abusing myself in the rodeo?”
“Yes,” Bennett said. “Because that’s just who you are.”
Wyatt shrugged. “Whatever. You’re all welcome to stay in, but you do have to match my bet.”
“Out,” Bennett said, throwing his cards down.
“Out,” Dane agreed.
“I’m still in,” Gabe said, clearly a man with a death wish.
Wyatt’s mouth twitched. “Is that so?”
“It’s so,” Gabe replied.
“Well,” Wyatt said, throwing a five into the pot. “I raise you.”
Gabe threw the money into the pot, then looked down at his hand and up at Wyatt. “I call.”
The moment stretched tense between them and Dane had a feeling there wasn’t much keeping Wyatt from reaching across the table and wrapping his hand around Gabe’s throat to make a few threats.
When they laid their hands down, Wyatt cursed a blue streak. “What are the odds of that?” he asked, gesturing down at Gabe’s flush.
“Well, I’m not a card counter,” Gabe said slowly. “So I can’t give you odds. If I could, I probably wouldn’t have been a bronc rider.”
“If you’d had any balls you’d be a bull rider,” Wyatt said.
“My balls are fine,” Gabe said, sweeping the pot in his direction.
Wyatt looked murderous. “I move we break for beer,” he said.
“Not me,” Bennett replied. “I’m out, and Kaylee said that if she had to pick me up I was in trouble.”
“Pansy-ass,” Wyatt said.
Wyatt got up and headed toward the kitchen, clearly on a beer mission, and Bennett shook his head, following after his brother. That left Grant, Gabe and Dane sitting around the table.
“McKenna and I live a walk away—I can drink as much as I want.”
“A couple beers is not putting me under the table,” Gabe said.
Dane laughed. “Same.”
“So, what are your plans?” Gabe asked, leveling his gaze at Dane. “Staying in town? What?”
“For now,” Dane answered.
“She’s a pretty girl,” Gabe acknowledged.
Grant looked both interested in the topic shift, and somehow also annoyed with himself over the interest.
“She is,” Dane agreed.
“But, you know, if you need extra work to keep yourself from getting bored, I
was talking to a buddy of mine who was telling me there’s a real need for agents. Damien Leighton quit, and anyway, when a lot of you dumped him, he stopped being such a hot commodity. Somebody with your connections... You’d be valuable to a lot of the guys, Dane. You know the kinds of endorsement deals that are good, you know what to avoid. Hell, I’d take your advice. If I wasn’t too damned old to be out there doing it myself.”
“I’m not any good with that kind of stuff,” Dane said, the idea taking hold in his mind, in spite of himself.
The possibility was...
Well, it might be the answer. He could almost taste it. Being back there where the action was, connecting with the riders, with companies he’d worked with in the past. Using what he knew.
He’d be a key player in the industry again.
Important.
“You’d be great at it, come on. You don’t spend as many years as you did on the circuit without picking stuff up, and you had some great sponsors. Did some great campaigns. My dad is connected out the ass—I could talk to him.”
“Well, that begs the question, since it’s your dad that’s connected out the ass, why aren’t you agenting?”
“I’ve got stuff happening at the ranch here. I’m more interested in that. But, I was just thinking that if you were a man looking for an occupation...”
“I’ll think about it,” Dane said.
“Think about what?” Wyatt asked, coming back into the room and sitting down at the table with a six-pack of beer.
“About agenting,” Gabe said.
“Agenting?” Wyatt asked. “Like Damien used to do?”
“Yeah,” Dane said. “I mean, it’s not a terrible idea. I guess I wouldn’t have to travel all the time. And... Well, I can’t ride. But the rodeo is basically all I know.” Suddenly, the idea didn’t really seem silly at all. He hadn’t thought of it because he’d been so obsessed with getting back on the bull. Mostly because he had been caught up in the idea of the glory of the rodeo. Because he had needed to think that his father was somewhere watching him ride on TV. Well, now he knew it was true and actually knowing that had changed something inside of him.