Amber sat on the bed for several minutes just staring at the door. He had said what she wanted to hear, and yet for some reason she found no assurance whatsoever in his promise.
Paul was wonderful in so many ways. There was no denying he was a good, kind, caring man. A warm, loving father. A strong protector and able provider. But he had the determined will of an enraged bull—and all that strength of mind seemed to be focused on making her his wife and the mother of his children.
Any other woman would be flattered by the attention. Any other woman would be eager to accept his offer. But she was not any other woman, she was Amber Lockhart, known only for her beautiful form and empty soul. She smiled and seduced and charmed her way through life, but there was no real substance. She was a trophy, good for show but nothing more. Every man she’d ever dated had confirmed that belief, everyone from Mason the cruise ship guy to the married professor to Dashuan Kennedy.
And just as she was not any other woman, Paul was not any other man. He expected her to be more than a pretty face. He expected her to be worthy of his love. And she could fool him for a time, but she couldn’t marry him. A lifetime was too long to hold up the pretense. One morning Paul would wake up and discover he’d married a fraud.
Chapter 26
“Welcome back to the Bellagio, Mr. Gutierrez. I hope you and your guest enjoy your stay.” The desk clerk smiled as she handed over the key card. “John will show you to your suite.”
Paul wrapped his arm around Amber’s waist and guided her toward the elevators as they followed behind the bellhop who carried their two suitcases.
“Welcome back?” Amber whispered in his ear, trying not to look like the country hick she felt. “How often do you stay here?”
The elegance of the beautiful resort was overwhelming, everything from the breathtaking water fountains to the glass ceilings and indoor gardens.
“Not often,” he said, with a kiss on her temple. “And it’s usually for business.”
They followed their bellhop into the elevator, and the guard standing beside the button panel smiled in greeting. The chrome doors closed behind them. Amber was still reeling from the harmless statement the desk clerk had made. It was not meant as an insult, but for some reason, Amber was still offended. I hope you and your guest enjoy your stay. Guest?
She was not his guest. She was the woman he loved, his lover, the woman he wanted as his wife, and this knowledge brought her undeniable pride.
The elevator stopped and the doors began to open. Amber moved forward to step out, but Paul stopped her. She glanced up and saw a man standing just outside the doors. Not just any man.
Her mouth fell open when she recognized her favorite action star, Richard Burrow.
She turned stunned eyes on Paul, who nodded.
It occurred to Amber that Paul never treated her like a silly, starstuck groupie, even though she constantly asked him about his celebrity clients and friends.
“Paul?” Richard Burrow stepped forward into the elevator. Recognizing his friend, he held out his hand. “I thought that was you.”
Paul shook the other man’s hand. “Richard, good to see you.”
Richard Burrow’s eyes went to Amber.
Amber noticed that Paul seemed hesitant to make the introduction. “Richard, this is my fiancée, Amber Lockhart.”
Richard’s eyes shot back to Paul’s and Amber watched as some kind of silent challenge passed between the two men. “Your fiancée?”
Paul nodded. “That’s right.”
Although what Paul was saying wasn’t exactly the truth, it wasn’t really a lie, either, Amber thought.
Their whole relationship was becoming more and more confusing by the second. Still, instinctively, she knew not to contradict what he was saying. There was a reason for it, she was sure of that.
Richard smiled his camera smile, and Amber thought he was as fine in person as in his movies. “Nice to meet you, Amber.” He extended his hand.
It was a harmless gesture—but, still she glanced at Paul, and found his full attention still centered on Richard.
She decided it would be rude not to accept the handshake. “The pleasure is mine. I’m a big fan.”
His smile turned cunning. “Really? That’s nice to know.”
“Are you going down, Mr. Burrow?” The guard interrupted the tense interaction.
“Um, yes, I am.” Richard glanced over his shoulder, only then realizing they were not alone in the elevator.
“So, Richard, what are you doing in town?” Paul asked, and Amber tried not to flinch when she felt his arm tighten around her waist.
“I’ve agreed to be a judge for the Miss USA pageant.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize that was this weekend.”
Richard’s eyes returned to Amber. “You should be one of the contestants, Amber. You’re absolutely breathtaking.”
“Thank you.” Amber tried not to blush. But the intense scrutiny in his eyes was unsettling.
The bell rang again as the elevator came to a stop on the thirty-fourth floor. John the bellhop gestured to the opening doors. “This way.”
“Goodbye, Mr. Burrows, it was nice meeting you,” Amber said as she allowed herself to be guided out of the elevator by Paul.
“Call me Richard,” he said with an award-winning smile. “Good seeing you again, Paul.”
Paul said nothing.
They were almost to their suite when Amber heard Richard call out to them. She turned to see him standing between the chrome doors, holding them open with his hands.
“Paul, I’m having a little get-together in my suite tonight. If you two aren’t busy, why don’t you stop by? You’ll probably know everyone there.” He chuckled.
Amber wanted to say yes, imagining all the famous people who’d be there, but Richard didn’t ask her, he asked Paul, and once again on some instinctive level, Amber knew there was a reason for it.
“No thanks, we’re going to see a show tonight. Maybe next time,” Paul answered as they continued down the hall.
“Well, if you reconsider, my suite number is 3180,” he called out, and let the doors close.
“Here you are.” The bellhop opened the suite door and gestured them ahead of him. He followed them in and headed straight for the bedroom.
“Oh, Paul, this is beautiful.” Amber turned in a circle, taking in the luxurious suite. She moved from room to room, amazed at the spaciousness of it all. “What are we going to do with all this room?”
Paul’s mouth twisted in a knowing smirk. “I can think of some things.”
The bellhop returned from the bedroom. “Will you be needing anything else?”
“No.” Paul shook his hand, discreetly placing a pack of bills in the center. “We’re fine for now.” He ushered the bellhop out, then came toward her where she stood looking out the window at the city below.
He leaned forward and kissed her. “So, what do you want to do first?”
“What do you want to do?”
He tilted his head as if the answer were obvious. “What do I always want to do?”
She chuckled. “Why don’t we start with an activity that involves being clothed?”
His mouth twisted in a wicked grin. “That does not present a problem for me.”
She gave an exaggerated sigh. “Okay, how about an activity outside the suite?”
His expression turned thoughtful. “That’s workable—depending on how much of an exhibitionist you are.”
She laughed. “We are not having sex in public!”
He shrugged. “Have it your way for now, as long as we get to do what I want to do later.”
She toyed with the top button of his shirt, working up the nerve to ask the question she wanted to ask. “How about we go to Richard Burrow’s party tonight?”
He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, before letting his hands fall away from her. “No. I know Richard is handsome and famous, but he’s also a son of a bitch.” He turned and headed for the
bedroom. “We’re staying away from him.”
“He seemed harmless enough,” she called after him.
Paul stopped in the doorway. “I know him, Amber. He’s not to be trusted.” He disappeared through the bedroom door, and Amber turned back to the view of Vegas. It really was pretty.
“Do you have tickets to a show?”
“I will,” he answered.
Her mouth twisted. “You don’t have to trust someone to go to their party,” she muttered.
“He wants you.”
Paul’s voice was so close, it startled her. She turned in surprise to see him standing behind her with a small, white box in his hand. “What?”
“He wants you. He thinks he can take you away from me. That’s why he invited us tonight. He wants a chance to seduce you.”
“Do you think I can be so easily seduced?” When several seconds passed, and he didn’t answer, Amber could not hide her disappointment. “Do you, Paul?”
“No, not unless you want to be.” He glanced at the small box in his hand.
“Do you think I want to be?” Amber wasn’t interested in the box, only in Paul’s answers. This conversation was becoming revealing and painful, but she needed to know the truth. She needed to know what Paul really thought of her.
“I don’t know what you want. I know you won’t commit to me. I know you like the freedom of being with whomever you want, whenever you want. So, if you found Richard attractive, I don’t know what you would do.”
Amber felt a sharp pain, as if someone had punched her in the stomach. Feeling as if her legs would not hold her much longer, she crossed the room and sat down on the couch.
Paul came and stood in front of her. “Angel, I meant no harm. You asked me if I thought you wanted to be seduced by Richard Burrow, but that’s a question only you can answer.”
Amber wrapped her arms around her waist and tried to block out the presence of the man standing in front of her. After all, he was only repeating what she’d heard a thousand times. It was impossible to ignore him or the hurtful words.
This was Paul, not Dashuan, not Mason the cruise ship guy, or Mike, Mr. I-can’t-trust-you-around-my-friends. This was Paul, the love of her life, her ideal man, and he was repeating what all those other men had said. She was a beautiful shell with nothing inside.
Paul stood for several seconds waiting for her to answer. When she didn’t, he placed the box on the table in front of her. “I don’t have to tell you what’s inside, I’m sure you can guess. I ordered it to be delivered here when I made the hotel reservation, before we had our conversation this morning. It’s yours…whether you ever choose to wear it or not. It will always be yours…just like my heart.”
Amber glanced down at the box but made no move to pick it up. “Why would you want to marry a woman you don’t trust?”
“No, angel, you’re twisting what I said.” Paul kneeled before her. “I trust you completely. With my heart, with my son, with my future. Trust is not the issue. What you want is the problem. You don’t know…and until you do, there are no guarantees for us.” Using his index finger he lifted her chin. “We are alike in so many ways, Amber. And this is one of them. You and me, we don’t do things in half measures.”
He sat down beside her. “You won’t commit to me, because you know if you do, it will be for a lifetime, and you’re not sure you’re ready for that. And you’re right. Once I know you’re mine, I’ll never let you go. It’s the same reason you date the kind of guys you do, guys who won’t expect you to commit. You can play with them for a while and move on.”
She picked up the white box, but instead of opening it, she just twirled it between her fingers, needing some activity to keep her shaky hands occupied. “But not you?”
“No. Not me. I know a diamond when I see one.”
Amber considered what he was saying and realized his words were hitting too close to home. “So, what am I doing here with you?” She smirked. “Since you’re obviously not my type.”
He smiled. “You love me. You don’t want to love me, but you do. If you had your way, you would go on being a party girl. No strings, no responsibility, no expectations from anyone. It’s one of the reasons you did not want to face your sisters. They expect things of you, they believe in you, and you are terrified of disappointing them.”
She turned her head and glared at him. “Who made you such an Amber expert?”
“You did.” He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. “With every word, and every action. You wanted me to understand you. Whether it was conscious or not, you reached out to me, and I accepted the invitation.”
She put the box down and stood. She didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say. Her thoughts were getting scrambled.
“Amber, everything you want is yours for the taking.” He lifted the box and wrapped her fingers around it. “But, first, you have to acknowledge that you want it. I can’t do that part for you.”
She tossed the box onto his lap, circled around the glass coffee table and headed toward the door. “What a lousy holiday this is turning out to be.”
She opened the door and paused. “We’ve tried this in every way possible, Paul, and it is becoming obvious that you and I will never work as a couple. I’m going to enjoy my only night in Vegas, and tomorrow we’ll go our separate ways.” She walked out of the suite and pulled the door closed behind her.
Chapter 27
Paul lay his head back on the couch and took a deep breath. “Way to go, Paul,” he berated himself out loud. He’d learned a long time ago that Amber could only take reality in small doses.
She was not the self-actualizing type. She lived in a pleasant little delusional world, and seemed content to stay there. He knew she’d convinced herself that she was worthless, and that was just fine with her, because it gave her license to behave badly and expect to always be forgiven, because after all, that’s just Amber. But Paul knew that was not the real Amber.
He saw the real Amber sitting cross-legged in the middle of the kitchen floor, trying to coerce his son into eating a spoonful of nasty strained peas. He saw the real Amber creating magic on a sketch pad and then finding the materials to bring her visions to life. He saw the real Amber lying in his arms at night, telling him about the pain of losing her parents at such a young age. He knew the real Amber. And for some reason, he’d gotten it into his head to make her see it. But she wasn’t interested in the real Amber.
After a lifetime of convincing herself that the world saw her as an empty-headed toy, it would take more than a conversation to convince her that she was the primary instigator behind that misconception.
He picked up the box and opened it. The three-carat diamond solitaire twinkled against the white velvet background. After they’d made love the night before, Amber had fallen fast asleep, but Paul had gotten up and turned on his laptop searching for the perfect stone on the Internet. In fact, between making the arrangements for their trip and tying up his business affairs Paul had not slept at all.
Now, here they were on what should’ve been their honeymoon, and instead he was sitting alone in the suite, while Amber was who knew where, doing who knew what with who knew who.
Who knew who…? Paul had a pretty good guess about that one. He may not know where she was now, but he was certain of where he could find her later that night. Richard Burrow’s suite. He knew she would go to the party, just as sure as he knew everything else about her. She now felt she had something to prove. She needed to reaffirm her belief that she was nothing more than a plaything. Paul felt his jawbone tightening, knowing Richard would be more than willing to accommodate her.
Richard was a dead man.
He stood and crossed the room, planning to go and warn the other man to keep his hands off of her, but halfway to the door, it suddenly hit him.
He couldn’t help her with this.
He could go to Richard’s suite later and drag her out. But she would only find some other way to prove her point at a l
ater time. Nothing would change, until she did. He could give her his love…but until she was able to accept it, it would mean nothing.
He turned, and with slumped shoulders went into the bedroom. His memories flashed to Michelle. Through Amber, he’d come to understand her wild behavior better. Just like Amber, Michelle had been acting out of her own insecurities. And just like Amber, he could not save her.
He knelt beside the bed and said a quick prayer, asking God to watch over his beloved and to bring her back to him. As a child, his uncle never missed mass and always dragged Paul along with him. As an adult, Paul wasn’t much for mass anymore, but he’d never stopped praying.
He stretched across the bed, and the exhaustion of the previous two days came down hard on him. He yawned and closed his eyes. He could only hope that Amber came to understand her true worth before it was too late—for both of them.
What the hell am I doing here? Amber asked herself that question for the twentieth time as she stood outside Suite 3180 waiting for someone to answer her knock.
She could hear the music and the laughter coming from the other side of the door. She raised her hand to knock again, but paused. Maybe this was a sign from God, she thought. Maybe He was giving her a chance to change her mind. She decided she liked that reasoning and turned to walk away.
She was almost to the elevators when the door to the suite opened and Richard rushed out into the hallway. He looked in both directions and quickly spotted her. “Amber! Where are you going?” He hurried toward her down the hall.
She watched the handsome man approaching—he looked like a movie coming to life right before her eyes.
Richard took in her appearance and she realized she was still wearing the jeans and pink cashmere sweater he’d seen her in earlier.
“Sorry, I was in such a hurry, I didn’t have time to change. Am I too casual? I’ll just pop upstairs and change,” she said, deciding her attire was the perfect excuse to leave.
“No, you’re fine,” he said. “Come on in.”
As they entered the suite, the music blasted in her ears. The lights seemed much brighter than those in the hallway, and the room was filled with people dancing and mingling.
His Holiday Bride Page 21