****
Rafa thanked the cabbie and watched the vehicle drive down the darkened street. He let out a heavy breath. This is it. He faced the small, two-story, white Cape Cod-style home. The front porch light was on, beckoning him forward. Rafa swallowed, his throat dry. With his garment bag slung over one shoulder, he picked up his duffel bag from the sidewalk and trudged forward. Was his mother asleep? He hated to have to wake her. What would she say when she saw him? After his stint with the Snakes — and after coming to grips with his mother kicking him out of the house — he’d kept in touch over the years, calling her when he graduated from college and then the police academy. He didn’t usually discuss his work, knowing she’d worry. One topic he refused to engage in was when he would return home.
Home. He had dreamed of this moment so often, he marveled at his trepidation. The last time he saw his mother was when she sent him to live with family in California. Had she forgiven him? She assured him, over the phone, that she had, but Rafa couldn’t bring himself to believe the words. He remembered how he had treated her. How he had yelled and threatened her… how he had made her cry. He couldn’t face his mother again. Despite the discomfort, it was still easier to live in cowardice.
He stepped onto the small porch and set his duffel bag down. He reached for the doorbell and paused, finger hovering just in front of the button. It took an investigation to bring him home. No, his boss ordered him here. Rafa was fine with another officer flying out to assist Springfield PD. He didn’t have the guts to face the woman who birthed him, to apologize in person for the grief he’d put her through.
Rafa closed his eyes, his body trembling with suppressed emotion. His breath came rapidly. When he was asleep, his dreams always ended with his mother accepting him with open arms. When he was awake, he imagined multiple outcomes, each ending badly… for him. What if she changed her mind after seeing him? What if she rejected him? Ordered him from her home a second time?
“God, please give me strength. All I want is forgiveness. If only—”
The door creaked open and Rafa opened his eyes, startled. There stood his mother in a soft pink robe, her rich mahogany hair in sponge rollers. She’d hardly aged; only the laugh lines around her eyes had deepened, as did the small half-moon creases at the corners of her mouth.
“Rafael. Mi hijo.” Tears glistened her eyes before streaming down to her open-mouthed smile.
Just like in his dreams.
“Mamá.”
She released a soft cry before throwing her arms around him, crushing him in a fierce hug. Rafa let the garment bag drop to the porch and he wrapped his arms around her, his own tears falling into her hair.
Rafael (The Santiago Brothers Book One) Page 5