Axes and Angels: A Snarky Urban Fantasy Novel (Better Demons Series Book 1)

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Axes and Angels: A Snarky Urban Fantasy Novel (Better Demons Series Book 1) Page 48

by Matthew Herrmann


  I blinked. “You mean Atlantis?”

  Orion grimly set his mouth. “No. Atlas.”

  “Atlas? Like a book of maps?”

  “Atlas the Titan …” Simon whispered.

  “You know, parents of the Greek gods. Enormous beings of immense power.”

  I cleared my throat. “I mean, Atlas the Titan, obviously.”

  Was it possible that unbeknownst to humans, a Titan lived in a gigantic cavern beneath New York City? That was ridiculous. And really sparked my curiosity.

  “He’s still alive?”

  Orion crouched, resting one elbow on his knee as he silently surveyed the underground wasteland below us.

  Garfunkel smirked. “No, you dolt. The gods killed all the Titans. Threw their bodies in Tartarus or something.”

  I scratched behind my head. “What does Typhon want from a Titan? Wait, is that the long-buried treasure Typhon was talking about?”

  Orion remained silent, his eyes tracking the darkness far below.

  Simon nodded squeamishly. “Typhon probably seeks the Heart of Atlas.”

  “Heart?”

  Simon gulped and continued. “It is said that the blood of Titans contains creation crystals …”

  “Creation crystals?”

  Garfunkel grinned. “Crystalline sources of raw power. In the hands of Others—or skilled humans—the possibilities are endless!”

  Well damn … I joined Orion in staring off into the abyss before us. If this, I guess, body of Atlas was so powerful, that was just another reason to beat Typhon to it. With any luck we’d be able to find a way to seal off the gate forever, and I could relieve him of the crystal pendant in his pocket—the stalagmite jungle would be perfect. But first we had to actually locate the gate.

  I peered downward over the sheer cliff wall again while Simon screamed like a little kid. Having climbed many cliffs in my special forces training, I wasn’t too concerned with the descent, although I wondered as to the durability of the rope. It looked handmade, not the machine-tested material you’d find in your friendly hardware or prepper store.

  “You sure there’s no other way around?” I asked.

  Orion relented with a nod as he secured two ropes around thick stalagmites jutting up from the floor. “There is another way. It’s still under construction and Typhon’s currently travelling it. The Brotherhood of Zeus is no doubt trying to find a way down after him to kill him so Typhon has no choice but to keep going down. And with the Minotaur in his company, he’ll probably push through in a couple of hours, coming out somewhere …”

  He wiped his forehead with his jacket sleeve—burning a small amount of time, I suspected with a cringe—and indicated a spot along the steep wall far below by the stalagmite jungle. The floor was too heavily shadowed to see any such opening. With a sigh, he said, “We can turn around and go that way if you really want … Or we can just drop straight down and cut across the Shadow Plains to the gate.”

  “I don’t see any hidden gate,” I said. “How do you know it’s even down there? What if Typhon is just chasing a myth? I mean, a Titan under NYC?”

  Orion narrowed his eyes. “My innate talent is finding the way. I burned some time—it’s down there. Give me some time down there, and I’ll locate it. But if Typhon punches through before us …”

  Simon nearly jerked my head off my neck with his urgent tugging on my hair. “Climbing down a cliff … Shadow Plains? Shadow Plains …? Nooooo!”

  I extricated my hair from Simon’s tiny (but surprisingly strong) hands. “Just put on your sleeping mask and strap into your pad. It’ll be over before you know it.”

  His knobby knees quavered under his tiny Ken doll suit. “I see that I can’t change your mind. You’re experienced. And the odds aren’t stacked too far against us—it’s only a 621-meter drop into absolute darkness with no handholds or footholds and monsters behind us and probably on the cavern floor below us. It’s fine. It’s fine. Just please … don’t fall to your death …”

  “I won’t.”

  “Pinky swear?”

  Others took oaths seriously, each having their own special way of sealing the deal. I held out my pinkie and Simon shook it limply with his whole hand before trudging across my right shoulder pad and slipping inside. The snap of a latch followed a moment later and then he meekly whispered, “Love you, Theo.”

  “Love you too,” I said, awkwardly, feeling my face blush. It was the first time I’d ever said I’d loved someone outside of my direct family. I didn’t much like it.

  “But you barely know me,” Orion said with a smirk.

  I ignored it. “Lead on, Star Boy.”

  He gave a low growl. “Are you sure you don’t wish me to harness you against my chest? I am a very experienced climber.”

  “I think I’ll pass,” I said as I harnessed myself into the second rope, tying my own knots. Even if Orion was his old self I’d still opt to take my own rope. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. That’s me. Plus, I’d regained more and more of my strength—60% maybe?—and was itching to climb something, even if it was a sheer rock wall into the depths of the former Greek Underworld. Besides, these seemed to be really well-constructed and really long ropes.

  “Dead girl, Theo,” Orion said as he gave a final tug on our ropes. “You sure you have the stamina to make it to the bottom? We are not using the fancy gear of the modern world that you were most reliant upon during your special forces days.”

  “Special forces?” I said. “Ever since Typhon ‘awakened you’ with the Seven Sins formula, I never told you I served.”

  Orion fidgeted as if he’d said too much. “Oh, you know, you’ve got that look about you. Your muscle tone, and eyes. Means that you are military. Or was.”

  “Right …” I fought back a small victory smile. Orion was beginning to remember me. I was sure of it.

  A few moments later, Orion and I completed a final equipment check and then we began our descent.

  We travelled in silence for the first quarter of the climb while our muscles acclimated. As Orion had pointed out, we didn’t exactly have fancy gear to adjust our give and speed of descent. I just hoped my body didn’t poop out before the bottom. I also hoped Simon was fine. I could really be insensitive at times. Lucky for me, I guess rising from the dead gives you some brownie points with those you care about because they hadn’t played the “heartless” card with me yet.

  As we neared the halfway point, Orion glanced my way and muttered something under his breath.

  I cleared my voice in a hushed yet obnoxious manner. “So Orion, why haven’t I heard about this Maximus badass scorpion fellow before?”

  Orion’s face tightened. “Maximus didn’t exactly make it into the annals of Greek history.”

  “Annals,” Garfunkel snickered.

  “Why?”

  Orion let more slack out of his rope. I followed suit, matching his more rigorous pace. He made a twirly gesture with one hand as he passed it over the rope. “Something about him eating all of King Minos’s sheep. In punishment, the king had the scribes strike any memory of Maximus from the histories.”

  I scoffed and adjusted the slack in my rope. “How can someone just scratch out the history of the world?”

  Orion grinned mischievously. “Don’t be so naïve; it happens all the time. You should hear what happened to Atlantis. Now there’s a story, ripe with lust and greed and …”

  “Please go on,” Garfunkel said, his filed down claws clinging to his shoulder pad in vapid glee, his eyes hidden behind his Hello Kitty shades.

  Instead of continuing his story, Orion quickened his pace again and I followed suit.

  “Hey, why the speed burst? I know you’re secretly scared of this Maximus Other but—”

  He let out some more slack.

  Grr. “Hey—!”

  “Look above,” Orion snarled and resumed his now-frantic descent.

  I glanced up. Some wavering tentacles and two wolf-like heads protruded from the opening w
e descended from, lit by a gathering of pulsating wisps.

  “They’re gnawing at the ropes,” Orion said. “Can’t you feel the tension?”

  I had to admit, I didn’t. “They must only like the taste of your rope—ah crap, yep!”

  I let out more rope in one single burst than I had previously dared until my shoes slipped and my shoulder smacked against the rock wall. Pain flared up from my hell-hyena soldered-up claw wounds.

  “Everything alright, Theo?” Simon asked weakly from the (relative) safety of his pad.

  “Oh yeah,” I answered as my torso bobbed and thudded repeatedly against the wall. At least I was doing better than Orion who had somehow gotten tangled up. He’s really not doing well, I thought as I descended past him.

  There was a piercing Snap!

  “Theo!” Orion cried out above me and fell as his rope gave way.

  “It’s Not The Fall That Kills You But The Ground …”

  At least he remembers my name now, I thought as I extended a leg out toward him as he fell. His hands clamped onto my ankle, jerking me downward as the rope began to burn through my palms; Simon screamed. At least it wasn’t his leg that felt like it was about to tear free like a fried chicken wing.

  “Hold on!” I let my jacket sleeves slide up so that I could grasp the rope in both hands with the leather serving as a makeshift hand guard while Orion’s new weight dragged at me like an anchor. The rope burned against the leather guard of my sleeves as we passed the three-quarters mark to the ground.

  The rest of the descent was mostly a blur as I glanced down through the pitch blackness, at Orion’s tactical flashlight spiraling to the ground until it extinguished itself. I didn’t need to be able to see to know that we were falling too fast. The rope continued to slide through my hands. I crunched the insides of my shoes against the rope, applied pressure with the insides of my knees.

  It was next to impossible to tell if the effort was working or not.

  We struck the rocky ground at about the same time as I heard the rope snap high above our heads. I just sat there a few moments, breathing hard, not sure if I was alive or dead (again), or if I’d broken anything. Surely I hadn’t come through this ordeal unscathed … And was Orion OK? I couldn’t hear him, only the rope whooshing down beside us like a striking viper. The tail of the rope fell with a clap like a gunshot.

  Silence.

  Yep, I’m dead again, I thought.

  Then Orion laughed. “We did it! Well, to be fair, you did it, wherever you are. You must have mighty palms and thighs indeed to have slowed down our descent as you did. Bravo!” He sent out a groping hand in the dark and clapped it to my shoulder. Then he laughed in triumph again and sat backward against the rock wall I found myself collapsed upon.

  We both breathed for a bit. Then he laughed again, and I did too. We should’ve all been dead.

  “Guys,” I said in a hoarse whisper. “You still there?”

  “Aye, aye,” Garfunkel said.

  Simon barfed.

  “Sorry I dropped the light,” Orion said, popping his neck. “There must be a troll up there. They love eating ropes like these.”

  I took a deep breath, far from recovered from the fall. My body ached like a used punching bag. “Why?”

  “Because I don’t normally drop things, especially under pressure—”

  “No,” I said. “Why do trolls like eating ropes? I’ve never heard that before.”

  “Oh.” Pride exuded from his voice. “Because it’s an elven rope. Trolls hunger for anything elven.”

  Orion and his elven friends or whatever … Oh well, they’d kept us safe on our descent. Mostly.

  Scratching his head, Orion said, “Does this sort of thing happen a lot when we … partner up?”

  My heart hopscotched and skipped a beat. “Yeah, actually. Are you really starting to remember me?”

  He massaged his temples. “Eh, bits and pieces, I think.”

  “That’s great,” I said but I’d be lying if part of me wondered if he was playing some game, stringing me along. On the other hand, he’d nearly just fallen to his death; I’m no shrink, but that could probably jar loose some locked memories …

  “Is it over?” There was just enough residual wisp light for me to see Simon peek out from his shoulder pad and wipe his arm across his forehead. “Theo, my shoulder pad needs to be washed …”

  Feeling about on our hands and knees, we found the remains of Orion’s tactical flashlight. Apparently, it wasn’t drop-proof at 100 feet.

  “We will have to crawl,” Orion said in a calm and matter-of-fact voice. The swirling fairy lights high above us provided only enough light to discern the rough contours of the ground directly beneath us.

  An idea came to me and I pulled up my jacket sleeve. “Hey, Simon. Can my magic tattoo help us out here? I seem to recall Spider Face mentioning I could change the color or something.”

  Simon wriggled out from his soggy shoulder pad, his hair mussed up but not as crazed as Garfunkel’s poofy mess. “Yes! You’re so smart! Give me a second to tinker with it …”

  A moment later, the Zeus tattoo on my forearm glowed a soft bluish-white with the output of a nightlight.

  “Uh, can we maybe turn up the brightness?”

  The exposed sigil on my arm grew brighter until it illuminated the area around us by about twenty feet if I raised my arm above my head like a torch. Think Statue of Liberty minus the crown and robe and tablet or whatever is in her other hand.

  “Bingo! And can we change the color?” I asked. “With Typhon’s crew racing us to the Atlas gate, I’d rather not be mistaken for a Brotherhood of Zeus acolyte.”

  My arm glowed red, then orange, then yellow, then green.

  “Simon, you know I don’t like to be this uh, flamboyant. Can you just pick a color?”

  “Aww but the shifting colors of the rainbow are so soothing. I like it,” he said. “Also, the fairies and wisps will too. And if I set the tattoo to blink out S-O-S in Morse Code, maybe they’ll come down and help us!”

  “Fine,” I said, shielding my eyes as my arm tattoo started flashing the dots and dashes comprising S-O-S.

  Orion studied me cautiously. “Usually when a woman says things are ‘fine,’ they most definitely are not fine.” He cocked his head at a teasing angle. “Perhaps I can comfort you?”

  I laughed. “In your dreams, Star Boy.”

  I grinned at Orion’s wince. He was still fighting the effects of the Sins Formula, I was sure. But until he overcame it, best to take Simon’s advices and not let him get too close.

  I lifted a hand toward the shadowy far wall on the other side of the Shadow Plains, aptly named because of all the shadows and … plains. “Right then,” I said. “Let’s go.”

  The tattoo light allowed us to walk instead of having to crawl, which was nice because who wants to crawl when there’s a hungry giant scorpion on the loose?

  I felt relatively sure that both Orion and Garfunkel would be able to hear the creature before it came near enough to be a threat, although being caught in the middle of the plains, in the dark … I didn’t want to wait and find out.

  There wasn’t much life down here on the cavern floor except for the occasional Agadzagadza trickster lizard zipping by and squirting into the shadows, their luminescent tails reminiscent of glow sticks at a concert.

  Above us to our left, the shanty town of stacked hovels seemed to glare down at us in the faint glow of frolicking wisps. I’d seen slums in better condition than what lay up there. In fact, it reminded me of news reports I’d seen of the more run-down sections of the Other haven city of Paradise Lot.

  Simon dabbed away a tear. “It’s so sad.”

  I caught sight of a dirty cyclops eyeing me from the shadows of one of the lower plateaus. Averting my gaze, I noticed a narrow winding footpath worn down in the stone leading up to the cramped, multi-level housing. I followed it with my eyes up past a field of mushrooms tended to by Others with glowing yellow
eyes. On another tier, goblin children sat around a small fire, their tiny shoulders wrapped in static-y sheep wool.

  It was a scene you’d expect to see in some far-away third world country—not a hundred feet underground.

  Orion tugged at my elbow away from the path. “The gate isn’t up there. Best to continue if we’re to beat Typhon to it.”

  I hesitated.

  “This is horrible. These Others shouldn’t have to live down here.”

  “Why?” Orion asked. “Most of these Others are fitted for living in subterranean conditions. And they have the essentials: shelter, food, water.

  I glanced up at the stream trickling weakly down the plateaus, cutting the shanty town down the middle.

  Garfunkel laughed uneasily. “It could be worse right?”

  “Yeah but it’s kinda like they’re confined to a cage down here. You and Simon know what that’s like.”

  Simon gulped. “But how can we help them when we’re the one’s needing help? Let’s not forget the giant scorpion prowling this scary place …”

  I bit my lip. “I’m just saying, it’s not right …”

  I perked up at the sound of boots scuffling toward us from a bend in the descending footpath about thirty yards away. “You hear that?”

  Orion shrugged. “Probably just a curious goblin child edging for a closer look.”

  I shook my head. The boot falls sounded militant, efficient. “Definitely an adult.”

  “An orc chieftain, perhaps?” Orion said. “Another reason to keep moving.”

  Maybe it would’ve been smarter to move on. But I waited until the entity wound its way around the bend in the rock, and onto ground level.

  I formed a visor with my hand to block out the light from my wrist. “Whoa. Is that …”

  Simon gasped.

  Orion scratched his jaw. “What in Hades …?”

 

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