Axes and Angels: A Snarky Urban Fantasy Novel (Better Demons Series Book 1)

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Axes and Angels: A Snarky Urban Fantasy Novel (Better Demons Series Book 1) Page 50

by Matthew Herrmann


  Assuming an All-Star baseball pitcher’s stance, my fingers knuckle-tight around the stone, I zeroed in on the fish’s third eye … and let loose.

  Splash!

  “Reeeaaarrghh!”

  The beast stamped its fin-like paws, its tongue holding strong, dragging Orion back to the halfway point.

  I bent and selected another stone as Orion brought his free hand to his thigh and slashed blindly behind his back with his hunting knife.

  The creature bellowed as its tongue pinwheeled back to its mouth with a wet slap and Orion shot unsteadily to his feet. With a grunt, he planted his boots against the stone bridge but he wavered, struggling to maintain his balance.

  The beast lumbered across the bridge.

  Not surprisingly, the stone crumbled and fell, taking both beast and Orion with it.

  “Orion!” I cried out but he didn’t answer me.

  I shot to my feet. No. It couldn’t end like this. Sure Orion and I didn’t enjoy the safest of occupations but … no. His life couldn’t end with a plummet to his death, at least, not without me by his side.

  On my right shoulder, Simon sobbed. From my left, Garfunkel’s words were curt and chipped. “I can’t believe he’s really gone.”

  I stutter-stepped toward the edge.

  All I saw was the beast’s bulky shape plummeting far below.

  No …

  “A little help!” Orion grunted.

  He hung by the fingers of one hand, cradled in the shadows of the drop-off’s edge just below me.

  Dropping to my knees, I shoved my hand into the darkness, careful not to topple in after him.

  “That was too close,” I said when I’d managed to haul him up and out so that he was balancing on his knees.

  He wiped his damp forehead. “Agreed—”

  A whip-like snap split the air and Orion tumbled forward onto me, into my arms while my mind registered the wet slap of the frog beast’s tongue against Orion’s boot.

  Orion started to slip from my grasp.

  “Let. Go. Of. My. Boyfriend!” I shouted, planting my heel against a rocky ridge and jerking Orion back against me.

  For a moment, I thought I’d topple in after Orion, but then the tongue slipped off, sliding along the ground and taking some stones with it into the abyss as it fell for good.

  And then I was left with Orion laying on top of me, my arms clasped around his chest in a death grip.

  So, yeah. We untangled and brushed the dirt from ourselves like nothing sensual had just happened.

  Orion scratched at the back of his head. “What you said, about me being your boyfriend. So that was our … partnership before …” He mimed depressing a syringe plunger into his arm.

  I smiled weakly. We hadn’t been—not officially, but Seven Sins Orion didn’t know that. Actually, he really didn’t seem too “sinful” any more. I mean, he’d successfully peeled himself away from me without groping me, something lusty Seven Sins Orion definitely would’ve tried to do.

  He chuckled, sizing me up as he rubbed the back of his head. “I could get used to working with you. The adrenaline. The pent-up fear and desire to—”

  “OK, OK Star Boy. You swore you would wait until after we got to the surface,” I said, avoiding his eyes. So he wasn’t fully my Orion. Not yet. But I’d have my cake and eat it too. Orion wasn’t a lost cause—I’d find a way.

  “We need to keep moving,” Orion reminded me. “Maximus is still out there and we’re about to enter the Rock Forest.” He quickly checked his crossbow, and seeing everything was in working order, gestured at the twisting, towering stalagmites. “Atlas isn’t far now, I can smell it. Think you can manage to lead the way without taking us into another trap?”

  He sneered while he said it so I reached out and poked him in the side right over the bruise from where he’d been stabbed in Typhon’s lab.

  “Stop that,” he said and I grinned, and trudged onward.

  Before we slipped into the ‘Rock Forest,’ I took one last glance back at the stacked Other hovels off to the side. I still couldn’t believe how Mr. Jack-O’-Lantern could just stand by and not try to fight Typhon. And now that I had a better idea of the power Typhon hoped to find, it seemed even more paramount to find the hidden gate before him. Who knows, maybe there would be a way to seal the entrance for good.

  Of course, there was still the issue of how we were to escape once we ambushed Typhon and I stole his magic pendant. At least all this trekking no longer winded me, my energy and strength returning like water seeping down into a well.

  “Time to enter,” Orion said, indicating the stalagmite maze before us.

  Nodding, I took a step forward with my arm raised to light the way which cast shadows all around us like giant fingers. It would’ve been nice to have the lava axe, in case something leapt out at us around the rock formations projecting from the ground. Also, it would come in handy for when we confronted Typhon …

  We’d meandered for about half an hour when Garfunkel cried out, and I snapped around in time to spot a giant scorpion pincer creep back out of sight behind a stalagmite.

  Kameno tost …

  The sheer size of the thing sent my heart knocking. And here I was, weaponless, my arm held aloft like a lantern, painting a target on myself and Orion. Yep, it would’ve been nice to have that lava axe, if not for the sense of security I felt with it in my grip.

  Orion sidled up next to my shoulder, and we pushed deeper into the rock jungle.

  “I Love the Smell of Creation Crystals in the Morning …”

  “This way,” Orion said softly, tugging at my sleeve.

  I resisted, eyeing a figure hiding in the shadows of a rock formation about thirty yards away. At least, I thought it was a figure. I didn’t see it anymore. “I think something is following us.”

  “Maximus!” Simon shrieked.

  “No, not him.” The stalagmites were too close together here for an Other of that size to sneak through. And considering their sharp points, I doubted it would try to traipse along above us in case a rock gave out and it skewered itself. “Smaller.”

  Orion crouched and surveyed in all directions around us. He sighted in on the glowing tail of a trickster lizard. “That small?”

  I shook my head. “Larger. But I don’t see it anymore.”

  “Good, follow me then. I have an idea.”

  Before following, I turned to my familiars. “Keep a close watch, OK? I know I saw something.”

  “Yes, ma’aam.” Garfunkel saluted while Simon nodded, his tiny hands covering his eyes.

  Sigh …

  I kept up with Orion so that I was roughly shoulder-to-shoulder with him so that I could light the way. A few minutes ago, Simon had dimmed my tattoo light at my request in an attempt not to broadcast our location as easily to Maximus or Typhon if he’d punched through into the cavern—not that we’d heard anything hinting of that.

  But I know I’d seen a figure …

  “Do you hear or smell Typhon or his men?” I asked as the stone beneath me slanted upward and we had to scramble on our hands and knees upon ripples of mushroom-like rock growth. At least the bizarre rock formations served as excellent hand and foot holds.

  “No.”

  A little quick to answer, I thought.

  Orion pushed forward up a steeper section of stone and I reached up tentatively, testing my arm strength before hauling myself up after him. I’d say I was at about 75% strength, and easily succeeded in bypassing a tricky portion. However, a moment later when my fingertips closed in on a lip of rock an arm’s length above me, I felt my grip strength start to wane.

  Uh oh …

  Orion clasped my wrist and pulled me up onto a flat rocky slab.

  “Whew,” Garfunkel said.

  “Can I open my eyes yet?”

  “Are you OK?” Orion asked.

  I nodded. After I caught my breath, I raised my arm torch.

  “Whoa …”

  From our high vantage poi
nt, the stalagmites arrayed themselves around us like the bones of the animal graveyard in the Lion King. Simon gulped. Orion sniffed at the air.

  I flashed him a curious look which he returned with a grin.

  “Creation crystals,” he whispered.

  I sniffed just for the hell of it but all I got was a nose full of dust. “So you say …” I said.

  Shaking his head, he lifted an arm out over the expanse of gloomy rock formations. “Do you see it?”

  I didn’t. “What—”

  He grabbed my wrist and angled my tattoo light until a crystalline glow the size of a robin’s egg sparkling at the tip of a stalagmite. And beyond that was the hint of a sparkle on another stone pinnacle just within the radius of my tattoo light. From the floor, you wouldn’t be able to see the two winking specks even if you had a spotlight.

  Speaking of spotlight …

  I turned to my right shoulder. “Any way you could, I don’t know, focus my tattoo light?”

  Simon rubbed his tiny chin. “Maybe if I rearrange the mystical circuits here and adjust the ethereal photon lens a few degrees that way …”

  “Simon?” I said.

  “Oh, huh?” He straightened up. “Yes, almost got it.”

  Garfunkel started to whistle. “Any day now …”

  The twenty-foot glow radius of my arm tattoo blinked off and for a moment we stood stock-still in complete darkness as wisps fluttered up at the Other shanty town and trickster lizards darted between the stalagmite trunks down below.

  From somewhere nearby, stone crunched like gravel beneath multi-jointed legs.

  “Uh Simon?” I whispered to the darkness.

  Garfunkel resumed his whistling.

  Beside me, I heard the cocking of Orion’s crossbow.

  A low hissing intake and outtake of breath floated up to us from the pitch blackness below.

  “Any day now …” I said from the corner of my mouth, spiderlike feet tip-tapping ever closer …

  “Got it!” Simon said.

  There was an audible click and then my arm burst into a condensed beam of pure, white light, searing forth and cutting through the darkness like a wielder’s torch.

  A giant pincer a few feet from us recoiled and slid back around the side of the flat stone platform with the grace of a snake. With a clicking clatter, Maximus backtracked down the monolith, melting seamlessly into the shadows and toppling smaller rock formations like mounded up crawdad holes in its wake.

  “Too close!” Simon shouted as the sounds of crumbling stone echoed up to us.

  Garfunkel clucked his tongue. “That scorpion is much bigger than sister Scorpio …”

  Don’t remind me, I thought. We had to go back down there to find the hidden gate.

  As I searched for a safe way back down to floor-level, Orion took my wrist and with a grin painting his face, he directed my tattoo spotlight like a lighthouse’s beacon.

  Beyond the second crystalline sparkle came a third and then a fourth and a fifth when the high-powered light beam struck them. Orion’s forehead wrinkled with deep concentration as he focused the spotlight even farther into the cavern depths, eventually bringing it to a rest on a faraway bright blue sparkle. He chuckled. “I know where it is.”

  I realized with a start how warm Orion’s hand felt on my wrist. It stirred something in me like an electric spark and, with his face inches from mine, I had the sudden urge to kiss him.

  Our eyes met like two sets of tractor beams in the dark, as if for the first time. We both leaned forward in unison—

  “For GoneGods’ sakes!” Simon shouted. “This is not the time for that! There’s a giant scorpion hunting us!”

  “They might not get another chance,” Garfunkel said, reclining on my left shoulder with a smirk on his face. I flashed him a look. “What? Just trying to be a realist. I say what better place to get it on—”

  “Ugh …” I pushed Orion away. Simon was right. I didn’t need this right now. For all I knew, Orion was faking the niceties and just using me for my … light. Yeah, bet no single female has ever had that thought before.

  Shining my light down the front of the tall, flat rock, I discovered that it sloped down like a water slide … minus the water. It would’ve been too steep to climb up but it’d make an easy enough descent. So before Simon could protest, I positioned myself over the ledge and pushed off.

  I laughed as the air caught my hair, studying the floor as it rushed up at me. If I was at full strength, I’d have stuck the landing like a pro. Instead, my ankle buckled and I broke into a sideways roll to redistribute my momentum.

  Before I could even push myself up, Orion had already knelt down by my side.

  “Are you OK?”

  I checked my ankle. “Fine,” I said, shaking dust from my hair and glancing over my shoulder back the way we’d come. Two greenish, reflective eyes ducked behind a rock. “Did you just see that?”

  Orion took a look, shook his head and stared off into the darkness in the direction of the sparkling crystals now invisible to us on the ground.

  “I know I saw something.”

  “Ma-Maximus?” Simon whispered.

  The scorpion had scrabbled off in the other direction and besides, it didn’t have green eyes. No, something else was following us—something oddly familiar to me, but I couldn’t quite place it. Whatever it was, it didn’t make a sound.

  Helping me up, Orion sniffed the air with widening eyes. “We’re close. We’re so close.”

  I squinted at my partner, hating it when he burned time to access his magic; exaggerated sniffing was his tell. “Quit burning time, you … dog.”

  “Dog?”

  “Yeah. Dogs. They sniff …” Exhaling loudly, I held up my arm so that the light blazed a path through the forward-facing maze of stalagmites. “If we’re so close, go ahead. Lead the way.”

  Orion grinned.

  “A Scorpion Hunting a Girl Hunting a Gate”

  We stopped in a clearing of sorts beside a stalagmite as wide as a sequoia tree. Smaller stalagmites surrounded us in all directions, leaving me with no point of reference in this “Rock Forest.” Shadows danced and fled among the rock formations like cloaked ghouls with each sweep of my tattoo light. If Orion had gotten us lost …

  “This is it,” Orion swore again.

  I glanced up at the formation even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to see the crystal hidden at its top.

  “OK …” I played my spotlight at the surrounding rock formations in case a certain giant scorpion was watching us.

  “I think I see something,” Garfunkel said, hopping down to the stone floor and approaching the stalagmite. Orion wiped at the floor with his hands as if buffering a window. I kicked a small rock, listening to its skittering as the darkness swallowed the sound.

  “Yes! Right here!”

  “Orion,” I called out softly as I knelt down next to the base of the gigantic stalagmite. I watched as Garfunkel slid his tiny fingers around the stone, the claws of his filed-down fingernails clicking against a crack so tiny I couldn’t even see it. Tracing his fingernails down to the floor, he crouched and then popped straight up like a jack-in-the-box, his nails keeping to the miniscule groove.

  Orion’s head tilted toward the sound of Garfunkel’s claws scraping the stone.

  “There’s some sort of door here.”

  Garfunkel stepped aside as I ran my fingertips over the crack and then motioned for Orion to do the same. As he reached toward it, the sound of crunching gravel hissed behind us.

  “Scorpion!” Simon wailed as he shot into his shoulder pad.

  I spun, shoving Orion aside as I dove. The giant pincer crushed right into the stalagmite with the sound of a split boulder. Rolling into a crouch, I raised my spotlight, hoping to blind the scorpion but it raised its pincer to shield its eyes.

  “Damnit!”

  From the side, Orion loosed a crossbow bolt at Maximus; it splintered like a toothpick. If I thought the scorpion looked
big atop the stone platform, I now realized it was almost double Scorpio’s size in Typhon’s Arena.

  I dashed to the side and raised my spotlight but the Other blocked it again before I could blind it.

  Orion fired another bolt that shattered upon its hard body. When the scorpion nipped at him, I kicked Maximus’s nearest leg and delivered the biggest insult I could think of on such short notice.

  “Hey … you!”

  The scorpion drew in a hiss of breath as it skittered to face me, one claw raised to guard its eyes, the other throwing up sparks as it scraped the stone floor.

  “What are you doing? Run!” Simon screamed from his shoulder pad.

  Run? Run where? I took off at a cluster of closely arranged stalagmites that might slow it down.

  Snap!

  Flung by the invisible tether connecting me to him, Garfunkel slingshotted from the ground to my left shoulder as I ducked into the cramped stalagmites.

  The sound of crumbling rock formations at my back told me Maximus was plowing right through the obstacles.

  Crap!

  I dove in and out, nearly colliding with a stalagmite. Throwing out my palms, I slid around it and shot to the side to head back to the clearing, my spotlight throwing up all kinds of disorienting shadows. I was trapped in a world of blacks and grays and blinding white light.

  “Hurry it’s gaining!”

  “Just a little farther,” Garfunkel said.

  Exhaustion had started to take its toll as I burst back into the clearing.

  “It’s still behind us!”

  Body, please forgive me …

  I feinted left and then threw myself into a sideways roll to the right, swinging up my tattoo spotlight between Maximus’s two pincers.

  Braking on its multi-jointed legs, the two giant pincers converged over its eye but the blast of light had already scalded the giant scorpion’s eyes. It lashed out in a final blind attempt before spinning, its tail coiled in upon itself as it skittered back to the darkness.

  “Are we still alive?” Simon breathed.

 

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