by G. E. Farrow
CHAPTER XII.--THE CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER.
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F course the news of the Crown Prince's return was soon known throughoutthe kingdom, and all the Kings and Queens being thoroughly tired ofthe complications which had arisen through there being so many of themelected, were quite delighted to hear of it.
"For what is the use," Boy heard one of them say, "of reigning if youhave no subjects to rule over but a lot of stuck-up Kings and Queens whothink too much of themselves to treat other people with proper respect?I'm heartily sick of it."
"Yes," was the rejoinder, "and so am I. Why, ever since my wife has beena Queen she has been as disagreeable as she can possibly be, and insistsupon 'standing on her diginity,' as she describes it, at home. I mustn'tcall her 'my dear' if you please, it's too familiar--'Your Majesty'this, and 'Your Majesty' that, is what she likes, till I'm tired ofhearing it. I shall be right glad when she is plain Jane Eliza Scroggsagain, that I shall."
Quite early on the morning after the Crown Prince's return CaesarAugustus Maximilian Claudius Smith (once more called Thomas for short)was sent to Drinkon College to bring the Royal Nurse and the little Kinghome again, and while he was gone the Prince and Princess drove out ina beautiful carriage and pair and were received with most enthusiasticcheers and applause by the populace; and in the afternoon the littleKing returned accompanied by Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky.
Boy was quite surprised to see that her corkscrcw curls were now abright golden colour, whereas they had been quite black before.
One-and-Nine did not come back with them, but the Royal Nurse had aletter from him addressed to Boy, which he took up to his room and read.
"Expensive Sir," it began.
"I wonder whatever he means?" thought boy. "Oh! I see, 'expensive' ishis way of writing 'dear.'"
"Expensive Sir,
"_This comes hopping that you are most healthful, as it leaves me atpresent. You will be joyed to hear that I am about to be matrimonializedto a Zuluish lady of the richest colour--with movable joints. ThatMajestuous lady the Royal Nurse having declined me with much pleasure,has offered to be sisterish to me; but the Zuluish lady objects, soI have had to separationize myself from the Majestuous one withconsiderable distance. Before we parted I begged for one of thosemost twistful corkscrew curls as a keepsake, and she extravaganteouslypresentuated me with the lot--they fasten behind the head withconsiderable stringiness, or it may be even black tapeishness; it ishard to tell which is what in this life.
"The Prince of Whales has given me a new coat--of paint--and asmy Zuluish lady dresses with much simpleness, we shall doubtfullydomesticate with great happiness._
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"_Please give my devotionated affection to that Majestuous lady, and sayI will think of her with much continuation and perpetuation, and alsothe curls, which shall never leave my head--as it leaves her at present.
"Yours contentuously,_
"One-and-Nine
"_N.B.--She had another set in her box_"
"I suppose he means another set of curls," thought Boy, "which wouldaccount for the change in Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky's appearance. Well,I'm sure I hope that One-and-Nine will be happy with his Zulu bride.What a funny chap he is, to be sure!"
Later on in the day the Prince and Princess and the little King held areception, to which all the principal inhabitants of Zum were invited,and, of course, all the Court dignitaries were present. The PublicRhymester was also there, through the influence of his friend theAdvertiser General.
The Prince made a speech from the Terrace, in which he informed thepeople that he should, of course, take the reins of office himself now,and would do his best, when King of the Country, to promote the welfareof his subjects.
The Princess was most popular too, and by her beauty and condescensioncaptivated all hearts.
In the evening there was an _al fresco_ concert in the beautiful Palacegardens, which were brilliantly illuminated for the occasion. Amongstthe items on the programme were some songs by the "Pierrot Troupe," andBoy anxiously wondered if _his_ Pierrot would be amongst them. To hisgreat delight he found that he was, and when he stepped forward with hisbanjo, and began the well-known tune to "The Little Tin Soldier," Boyapplauded vigorously. The words, however, were quite different, and wentsomehow like this--
THE MARRIED TIN SOLDIER.
``One night as I paused by the Nursery door,
```And looked at the scattered toys,
``I said to myself, "Was there ever before
```Such troublesome girls and boys?"=
``And then as I hurried to gather them up,
```I heard a wee voice complain,
``"Oh! sorry am I that I ever was wed,
```And would I were single again!"=
``On the ground at my feet lay a soldier red,
```And I think he was made of tin,
`And I noticed the paint on the top of his head
```Was getting remarkably thin.
``And I asked him why, at that hour of the night,
```He was making that horrible noise;
``And I told him to stop and behave like a man,
``Or like other respectable toys.=
``"Oh! how would you like it yourself," quoth he,
```"To be married to such a wife;
``To be treated as no loving husband should be,
```And be plagued almost out of your life?
``She carries on with the other toys,
```She's extravagant and vain;
``No wonder," he said, "that I'm sorry I wed
```And long to be single again."=
``"It's all very well," said another voice,
```"But he's just as bad as me,
``And he needn't have wed, for I had my choice
```Of many as good as he."
``And a waxen doll, in a dress of blue
```That was rather the worse for wear,
``Looked up from under our Baby's shoe
```With a discontented air.=
`"You naughty, naughty toys," I cried,
```"To quarrel now you're wed."
``And as I packed them side by side
```I sadly shook my head.
``To think that this man and his wife
```To such extremes should go--
`How glad I am that in this life
```_We_ never quarrel so!=
"Dear me!" thought Boy, "I suppose that is the same Dolly-girl and TinSoldier that he sang about before. Well, One-and-Nine has the best ofthe bargain after all, if it is true; I must ask Pierrot about it if Iget a chance of speaking to him."
While the concert was still going on a Messenger arrived from the Kingof Limesia saying that he was very pleased to have his Portmanteauagain, and that he had quite forgiven his daughter for marrying thePrince now, and wished them every joy and happiness; and sent them as apeace-offering a number of Flying Machines, which had just been inventedby one of his subjects, and which were most popular at Limesia.
"Flying is now the popular craze of the day in our land," explained theMessenger, "and the Park is reserved certain hours in the day for theconvenience of 'Flyists.' Ladies now hold their 'At Homes' at the top ofthe highest trees, and Flying Tours are all the rage."
The machines, of which forty or fifty were sent, were very simple, andconsisted of two large silk and whalebone wings, fastened on to the backwith straps. Another strap was fastened at the wrist, and by flappingone's arms about it was possible to fly quite comfortably.
His Absolute Nothingness the Public Rhymester had to try one first.
"For," as the Lord High Adjudicator explained, "if he is killed itdoesn't matter in the least."
He got on very well, though, and then some of the others ventured totry them, and amused themselves and the rest of the Company by flying upinto the trees and down again. Boy tried a pair, but thought them veryclumsy. I suppose that really they were too big for him.
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"Not so comforta
ble as sailing in the Moon, is it?" said a voice by hisside, and looking around Boy beheld Pierrot with his banjo under hisarm.
"Oh, how do you do?" cried Boy, holding out his hand. "I'm so glad tomeet you again."
"How have you been enjoying yourself?" asked Pierrot.
"Oh! immensely, thanks," replied Boy; "but I was beginning to wonder howI should get home again. Of course you can take me back in 'the Moon,can't you?"
"Oh yes, if you like," said Pierrot, "but we are starting soon and ifyou are coming with us you had better make your adieu to the Prince andPrincess at once."
Boy arranged to meet Pierrot in a few moments by the Bandstand and thenhurried off to say good-bye to his friends.
"Oh! must you go?" cried the Prince. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to ask yousuch a lot of questions about the government of the country that youcome from, with a view to adopting somewhat the same system here; but,of course, if you must go you must. Can't you tell me just a little bitabout it before you go, though?"
"Well, Your Highness," said Boy, "I really don't know much aboutPolitics, but you see we have a lot of gentlemen in England who arecalled Members of Parliament who are elected from all parts of thecountry, and they sit every day and talk about the affairs of thenation. They have such a lot to talk about that _sometimes_ they have tosit there all night, and bring sandwiches and things in their pockets toeat, or they would starve. Ladies are invited to these meetings, andsit up in the gallery to prevent the Liberals from quarrelling with theConservatives, because of course it would be very rude to quarrel beforeladies, wouldn't it?"
"But what are Liberals and Conservatives, and what do they want toquarrel for?" asked the Prince.
"Oh! I don't know exactly," said Boy; "but they take sides inParliament, you know, and one side wants to keep everything the sameas it has been for hundreds of years, and the other side wants to altereverything--and they are always squabbling about this."
"But why doesn't the King stop it?" asked the Prince.
"Oh! our Kings and Queens never meddle with Politics; they only signthings, and confer titles, and hold Drawing Rooms, and open Hospitals,and Convalescent Homes, and Orphanages, and that sort of thing. They letthe Members of Parliament settle all the other matters themselves.I'm afraid I haven't made it very clear, but I must be off now, YourHighness," and after shaking hands with the Prince and Princess, Boyhurried back to the Bandstand, where he found Pierrot and the rest ofthe Troupe waiting for him in the Moon.
The Prince's guests were all curiously crowding around them, and as theystarted they gave a hearty cheer while the Moon rose slowly up into theair and the Pierrot Troupe struck up a lively tune on their banjoes.
Before they had gone very far, however, Boy could see that the BusybodyExtraordinary and several of the other guests were hastily fastening ontheir wings.
"Surely they are not going to try to fly up here!" he cried.
They were, though, and in a very few moments he could see that aboutforty or fifty of the guests were flying rapidly towards them.
"Good gracious!" cried Boy, "they can never all get in here; we shall beupset. Go back!" he shouted, leaning over the Moon, "go back!"
But nearer and nearer they flew, till presently the Lord HighAdjudicator's head appeared at the side of the Moon, then the AdvertiserGeneral, and immediately afterwards six or seven others were scramblingover the side.
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"Pray be careful. You can't possibly all get in," cried Boy; "we shallcertainly be overbalanced;" but no one heeded him, and more and morepeople came tumbling in till, just as Boy had feared, the Moon lurchedto one side, and then when they all rushed to the other, turnedcompletely upside down, and out they all tumbled. Boy screamed and shuthis eyes in his fright as he felt himself falling down and down anddown, till crash--bang!--crash! and Boy found himself struggling onhis back; he opened his eyes, and--would you believe it?--he was inhis little strange bed at Scarboro', the sun was streaming throughthe window and the servant was knocking at the door and saying, "Yourshaving water, sir," for he had mistaken Boy's room for his Uncle's.
"Well, I can't believe it has all been a dream," he thought as he got upand dressed himself. "I shall certainly ask Pierrot about it when I seehim on the sands."
But when later on in the morning he did see Pierrot, that amusinggentleman declared he had never been to Zum in his life, and asked Boy_where it was_, which was such a puzzling question that Boy has neverbeen able to answer it to this day.
THE END.