by Jenny Tia
“Your mom must be worried about you.”
He glanced up at me then squinted. He looked like he was about to say something, but he stopped himself and looked down at his hands. I cleared my throat. I felt like the door to further information was closing quickly. I needed to get more out of him before it slammed in my face.
“What exactly is The Resistance resisting?”
“This.” He gestured to all four corners of the room. “All of this.”
I didn’t know what the hell he meant, but I didn’t have time to get into it. “But why? And how? How are they going to attack next?”
Eli just looked at me like I was an idiot. “My beast may be out, but I still believe in the cause. I don’t trust your leader, and I don’t trust you. You can give up on trying to get information out of me. I’m not going to help you. I’ll die in this cell before I help you.”
My heart dropped and I let out a frustrated growl. Eli stared past me again, looking right at the wall like I wasn’t there.
I sighed. The metaphorical door had closed.
The chair legs screeched against the floor as I dragged it out and thumped on the real door for a guard to open it from the other side. I glanced back and Eli and found him rubbing his chest and grimacing.
“The moon is still pulling at you,” I told him, touching my own chest. “It’s been suppressed too long.”
He scoffed, but he looked me over like I might have an answer he was looking for.
“You can get out of here, you know. You could let your wolf run in the woods if you cooperate with us. Just give us some info so we can keep our people safe.”
He grunted, and I caught a flicker of consideration flash over his face. But he dropped his hand from his chest, and he jutted his jaw forward. “I don’t care about my beast or what it wants. I want it dead.”
The coldness in his voice shot through me like a spear. I suddenly felt like prey under his gaze. My wolf retreated and hid, and my hands began to shake until the cell door clanged as the guard unlocked it.
Eli finally looked away, and I got the hell out of there.
Driving at night was usually peaceful. Less traffic, and the city seemed to have a different vibe, but tonight I was anxious as hell, and I kept chewing my bottom lip until I tasted blood. We were getting nowhere, and I was all out of ideas. What the hell else could we do? We were like sitting ducks and I was not okay with it. I needed to find a way to get Eli to talk—but how?
The impending war felt more real than ever. It was inevitable. An attack was coming. I was in danger, and so was everyone I knew, and there was not a damn thing I could do about it.
I stopped at a traffic light and looked up at the moon. It was still so full but seemed so far away. Even the moon goddess couldn’t help me this time. She couldn’t bring me peace.
I slowed down to a near-stop when I reached the Mansion. I was almost going to go straight for home, but I needed to pick up Stef from Casius’s house. I frowned. Why was I hesitating?
An answer came up clear and ugly. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to see him, I didn’t want to be near him—but only because I didn’t want to put him in danger, didn’t want to hurt him. And now that just seemed inevitable. I was the second in command to the Supreme Alpha Select, and we were about to go to war. I practically had a target painted on my forehead. I was walking the same path as my father—more dangerous, in fact, since there hadn’t even been a war when he died.
I was leading Stef into my mother’s fate, and I couldn’t do that to him. I wouldn’t.
“Fuck.”
My heart was aching as I pulled up to the gravel drive outside that big ranch-style home. I knew I was about to do the right thing—at least, that’s what I kept trying to tell myself. But damn, it still broke my heart to do it. My wolf whined loudly, his own heart cracking wide open.
The lanky young guard posted outside Casius’s door looked like he’d never been up so late after his bedtime. He did a doubletake like he was trying to place where he knew me from.
“Nicolas Black,” I said to identify myself.
“Oh shit. I mean, yes, sir! Sorry, sir!” He turned bright red and quickly turned to punch in the new code to Casius’s door. I gave him a pat on the back as I walked past. He was doing a good job. I appreciated that he didn’t just pretend to know who I was and let me in unidentified.
I heard Destiny crying upstairs, and the coos of her parents trying to soothe her.
Stef was on the couch, transfixed by his phone. I cleared my throat and he beamed at me before jumping up and throwing himself into my arms. I laughed, touched by his enthusiasm, but it faded quickly as my anxiety took over. I held him and closed my eyes. I pushed my nose into his hair and took a deep, hungry breath. I wanted to remember that feeling of holding him, being so close to him. I needed it to give me strength over the next few months. I prayed it wasn’t the last time I’d be holding him like this. I also prayed he’d understand.
Stef pulled back and looked me over. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”
I nodded. “I’m okay. Can we talk?”
He frowned so hard I could hardly see the bright blue spark of his eyes. “Yeah. Of course we can.”
He led me over to the couch and we sat close, facing each other. I couldn’t meet his eyes. My wolf snapped at me, begging me not to say what I needed to say. I let out a heavy breath and lowered my head.
“Nic. Tell me what’s going on right now or so help me—”
“There’s been problems with the humans. God, do not let Casius or even Julian know I’m telling you any of this. But there hasn’t been any progress. I’m worried about what’s coming, about the dangers ahead. I’m going to be busy scouting and trying to help gather information because we can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen.”
Stef nudged my chin up, so I’d look at him. He kept frowning as he searched my eyes. He looked wary. “So you’re telling me you’re basically going to put yourself in danger, even though you promised me you wouldn’t?”
I nodded. “I have to do what’s best for everyone.”
“Everyone?” Anger flared in his voice. “What about what’s best for you? What about what’s best for me? For us? What if you go out there and get yourself killed?”
I winced, but I also nodded. That was my point.
“So you’re going to go to war and leave me sitting here to worry about you dying? Or getting injured? Well, how in the hell can we be together if you’re not here or worse—dead?”
I bit my tongue. I lowered my eyes.
The silence fell heavy around us like a waterfall.
“No.” His voice sounded broken, quiet, but it smashed my heart into a thousand pieces. “Nic. No…”
I looked at him.
Stef laughed sharply and almost snarled. “Are you going back on courting me?”
My throat swelled and I barely managed to push the words out. “It’s only temporary until we know how much danger we’re in—”
“Danger?” Stef looked ready to explode. His eyes flashed purple. His wolf was on the surface, and it was furious.
“Please calm down, I promise you, it isn’t permanent, I just need time—”
“It will be very much fucking permanent if you go out there and never come home!” He leaped to his feet and kicked over a chair. Tears poured down his cheeks as he shuddered with sobs. Each one made my guts clench with agony.
“Please, Stef. Please be patient and give me a little more time.”
He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. “No, Nic. You’ve made your decision. Your duty, your people—they come before me.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Don’t you fucking talk to me about what’s fair.”
“This is for all of us—”
“I’m done.” Stef sniffed sharply. “Get the fuck out.”
I stood up and ran a hand over my face. “Stef, please, I don’t want to break up, I just need
more time—”
“GET OUT!”
My wolf cowered. My chest felt like it was on fire. Destiny cried from the top floor. And my legs were taking me across the room, straight for the front door. I stopped at the edge and turned back for one moment.
“I love you, Stef. Even if you don’t believe it. I love you. And I always will.”
He didn’t turn around. He didn’t make a sound.
22
Stefan
Hospital. Corridors. Crying fathers, crying mothers, wailing newborns. More corridors. Paperwork. Small talk in the break room, and then back out again, for more corridors.
For days and days, I walked through a world that was as empty and as bleak as those corridors. It had been days since Nic and I had broken up—or I’d broken up with him? Or had he broken up with me? I ran the argument through my head over and over, and it got more confusing every time I looked at it.
All I knew was that I’d been mean, Nic had been an idiot, and now I was alone. Again.
My wolf whined and I snapped at him. He didn’t make another peep.
I bounced a baby to sleep in the newborn unit while its dad took a shower, and I grimaced when I remembered I’d considered having a family with Nic. Sure, it was just a silly passing fantasy when I’d been buying his act of being a dedicated, devoted mate who wanted to claim me… But still. Why did I ever trust him?
I’d hoped work would keep me busy and keep my mind off him. But it wasn’t enough to soothe the bleeding, festering wound he’d ripped open in my heart. But I wanted to feel the pain. It was good company. Dependable. Honest. Always there.
“You don’t look so good.” Helen pursed her lips and looked me over in the break room.
I took a bite of my sandwich and shrugged.
“You need some time off?”
“God, no. Please don’t send me home.”
“I don’t know, Stefan. You look like you could use some rest—”
A siren cut through our words. I threw my sandwich down and rushed out into the corridors and chased the sound of the alarm. I knew exactly where it was coming from before I even got close. The corridors, now familiar, led me right to it. The human’s room.
Half of the staff of doctors and nurses crammed into the room, and I strained to peer over shoulders to see what was happening.
“Stefan.” The doctor who had stitched up Nic’s neck saw me, and he motioned for me. I squeezed through the staff to get to the bedside, where a sharp stench oozed from the emaciated man lying there.
His monitors were showing signs of cardiac arrest. I wasn’t surprised. He was as thin as a rail, his face was sunken inward, and frankly, I thought he would have died days earlier, given that he still wasn’t taking in any food. Even with the IV, which wasn’t a long-term solution, he wasn’t getting enough to keep him alive.
“Prep for a jump start.”
The doctor took charge and we rushed to hook the man up to the defibrillator. For five golden minutes, I was in work mode—completely present, working to save a man’s life, far away from the heartache of my personal life. We tried to bring him back with three shocks, but the doctor held out her hand before we could administer the fourth and shook her head.
“I’m calling it. Any objections? Anyone want to keep trying?”
The man was limp and weak. Pale. Gnarled. He looked like he’d stepped through death’s door days earlier. There was no way to get him back. But god, I wanted to. I wanted to wrench him back, shake him up and get answers out of him. I wanted to turn him over to Nic. But he was gone. He’d left us in the dark.
I hated that man then. I hated him with all the anger I’d been holding on for Nic and for myself. He was the one who was to blame—him and every other fucking human who was waging some kind of absurd war against us when we hadn’t even done anything wrong! Humans were the reason Nic wasn’t courting me. They were why he wasn’t claiming me. They were why my dreams of maybe starting a family were never going to be a reality.
I heard a sob. When the doctor looked at me with sympathy, I realized it had come from my throat. She held my arm and squeezed it as if trying to comfort me because I’d witnessed this death by cardiac arrest.
I let her think whatever she wanted to. As she called in the official time of death, I stared down at the human corpse and bit back the desire to spit on it. I cursed him silently, begging the moon goddess to send him to some hellish place. I prayed all the humans would go there. I hated them then, with everything I had in me.
And the fire that raged in me was fueled as my shift went on.
I was left with a few other staff to prepare the body to be moved.
To where? A shallow grave, I hope.
I’d lifted the man’s arm to press it tightly against his body when his fingers uncurled and something fell to the floor with a light clink. I bent down to retrieve it and felt sick to my stomach as soon as my fingers touched its edges. It was a scroll, held closed with a small metal band, and it smelled of death. I unrolled it with shaking fingers, and then clenched my jaw as I read it.
The mountain was covered in fire because the LORD descended on it in fire.
“What the fuck?” Another mention of fire. It couldn’t have been a coincidence. I wondered if I should call Nic, but just the thought of him caused pain to rip through my heart again. I couldn’t call him. I could never talk to him again. I inhaled deeply and stood. Suddenly, there was a deep BOOM in the distance.
I gasped and glanced at the other nurses. They’d heard it too, and we waited to hear another, but the hospital fell eerily silent again.
Two minutes later, the once-empty corridors became packed with casualties. Blood gushing from shrapnel wounds, burns needing anesthetic, and traumatized kids.
“What the fuck happened?” I rushed down the corridor to the side of a gurney carrying a wolf who was bleeding out.
A nurse muttered, “Someone said a bomb went off in the middle of the city.”
My stomach dropped.
My wolf yelped. Nic!
Well, this is why we can’t be with someone like him!
As I rushed through the corridors, I picked up snippets of what had happened.
“A delivery truck parked near a shopping center, a shifter stepped out—”
“Yeah, a shifter! Not a human!”
“He started talking mad man talk. All raving about fire and the damned. Some crazy loon.”
“He pressed the control and…the bomb went off.”
As busy as I was, as rushed and chaotic and all-consuming the work became, I wasn’t present. I was scouring the face of every injured patient for any sign of Nic. I worked from muscle memory, from a distance. Luckily, I was skilled enough to stop bleeding, apply bandages, coordinate beds, and administer pain shots, all while nursing my broken heart and praying with every breath that Nic was safe and that every human left on the face of the planet would suffer for this.
23
Nicolas
“Are you fucking insane?” Casius growled so loudly it echoed through the observation room and made Mikel flinch.
I should have guessed Stef would tell Julian and he’d tell Casius about me breaking up with my mate.
I growled right back. “No, I’m not insane. What? Was I meant to just lead him into the path of danger?”
“He’s your fated mate, Nicolas. You’re meant to be together through everything. You think you can fight fate?”
“Fate is going to have to wait until this war is over.”
Casius snorted. “Good luck. You’re being an idiot. Having a mate is what makes us strong.”
“You believe this shit, Mikel?” I tried to drag him into the conversation for backup.
Mikel grimaced apologetically. “Sorry, Nic, but Casius is right. We’re meant to be mated. And fated mates… Man, you’d be nuts to throw that away. I’d give anything to find mine.”
Casius gave me an I told you so look that made me furious.
“Ugh!” I
crossed my arms over my chest, and I was about to launch into another tirade about acting from intelligence instead of my heart when a near-deafening siren blasted from all the speakers in the room.
“What’s going on?” I turned to Casius, but he shook his head. We stumbled out of the observation room into the corridor. Chaos broke out around us. Guards spilled out from different rooms, pushing and shoving their way to different parts of the station. Half the force was rushing to get outside, and the other half was securing the corridors. My wolf was on high alert, looking for an answer.
A young guard rushed up to Casius and threw a phone into his hand. “Alpha Hughes, sir!”
“What’s going on?” Casius asked into the phone. His face dropped and he stopped breathing. “Shit. Yes, sir. Yes. Good. Fine. Yes. Understood.”
Mikel and I shared an uneasy glance then stared at Casius as he ended the call. The Alpha Select let out a heavy breath and broke the news to us. “There’s been an attack.”
My world collapsed. Stef. He was all I could think about. I could barely hear Casius’s voice as he filled us in on the details.
My mate. Where’s my mate? Where’s my mate?
I dialed Stef’s number and pulled away from the crowd. I couldn’t remember if he was meant to be working that morning. I pushed my forehead against the wall and whispered into the phone, “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Answer the phone, Stef. Please answer. Please—”
“Nic! Are you okay?” He sounded as relieved to hear from me as I was that he’d answered.
“Yes, I’m fine, are you okay?”
“I promise, I’m okay, I’m fine. I was more worried about you.”
“Don’t be. I just need you to stay safe. Promise me—promise me you’ll stay safe. I need you to because when this is done, I’m claiming you.”
“Nic—”
“If courting is important to you, we’ll do it. It’s fine. But I need to make you mine.” The words toppled out of my mouth, straight from my heart.