by Anna Belle
“Look what the smoke dragged in,” Kohl said suddenly.
And just like that, they were back.
“Miss me?” Angel sauntered on up, with a one-side smirk like he’d just narrowly beat the dealer at Blackjack instead of narrowly escaped death via gunfire.
My line sounded just as movie character-y: “Thank God.”
Red was the first to hug me. “Got ‘em good.” He sounded less pleased than you’d expect.
Angel’s arms closed around me, then, finally, Kohl’s. My body automatically sunk into them, like three strong bolsters propping me up, protecting me. So this was what it was to be safe.
Sirens wailed far far away. Two shrill sparrows argued. A sports car engine gunned.
Someone exhaled, said, “We have to go.”
And so we did. We climbed into the car, plopped ourselves into the same seats, even assumed the same positions we’d been in on our way there – Red on my left, Angel on my right. Although we weren’t at all the same people. At least, I wasn’t.
My mind was buzzy and my leg felt fuzzy, was falling asleep randomly.
What I couldn’t get my head around was the implications – what this actually meant.
Was it, stereotypically enough, that morality, black and white/ good vs. evil, etc., were so much less clear-cut than I’d been taught?
Or was it something less obvious, something I’d missed in the details, that would come to me only late at night tonight, in the twilight period before sleep took over entirely but consciousness was ebbed far off?
Maybe.
Angel’s voice jarred me out of my thoughts. “You ok?”
It seemed only natural to tell him, “I think so.”
And that was it. Angel’s arm slipped around me on one side, Red’s arm slipped around me on the other. Again, it felt right.
As did the Range Rover’s leisurely pace, nosing down apocalypse-empty streets, actually entirely stopping at stop signs. As if we weren’t criminals on the run at all, just some friends on their way to any old place in any old time.
I only realized we were at Angel’s apartment when the warmth on my right, left, and Angel’s blonde head peered at me pointedly.
He didn’t need to say it – Come with me?
The “yes” was already rolling off my tongue when I shook my head. “I’m sorry.”
He paused, as though to argue, then leaned in, kissed my cheek. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
And only as he walked away did I realize that my answer had had everything and nothing to do with the fact that I’d burned a building down.
The ride went on, Red’s arm around me as snugly and surely as a seat belt. Who knows whether his rhythmic tracings on my scalp were for me, or him. All I knew was that it felt good.
A jarred stop. At some point we must’ve gone onto a rural road, because right now, outside the car, a bumpy dirt road ended in a rustic house that looked vaguely like a very-red miniature barn and had an ample covering of bushy walnut trees.
Red took my hand. “You shouldn’t be alone.” His gaze offered no refusal.
“You’re right she shouldn’t,” Kohl cut in. “I’ve got this.”
Red’s upper lip curled in a snarl. His glare snapped to Kohl.
Kohl blinked, shrugged. “You’re welcome to join.”
And just like that, all the tension in Red’s face diffused. He sighed, leaned in and gaze me a kiss.
Sensation swiped through me, all the way to my toes.
“You’re a real mindfuck, you know that?” he said to me. As though I was the one who’d just had an entire conversation based on inferences and glares.
Before I could even open my mouth to ask what was going on, the Range Rover’s shutting door threw wind in my face.
Silence.
“And then there were two.” Kohl turned to look at me.
I shifted. How was it that his dark eyes reminded me of a locked and loaded gun, a cage and an embrace all at once?
I sat up straighter. No way was I letting him set the scene. Not again. “What was that about with Red?”
His gaze flicked out the window, as though remembering.
“It’s why he got into this work,” he said finally.
“Which is?”
“You’ll have to ask him yourself, some time.”
“And you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
Kohl had started driving again, was tearing down the pothole-ridden road at a vengefully fast speed that may or may not have been from my probing. “I told you.”
“Part of it.”
Maybe I was just in a nosy, combative mood – or maybe I just wanted to fill the air with words so the realization – I had just burned down a fucking building – wouldn’t creep back into my head.
Only after my whole body flailed to the right did I realize that Kohl had abruptly pulled over.
“You really want to know?” He didn’t wait for my answer. “Some drunk politician’s car ate my wife and kid. He had better lawyers than I did. The politician swore up and down that it was the ice, them jaywalking, the brakes… And his thousands-by-the-hour lawyers, of course, made such a crock of shit of the case that the judge had no choice. Dismissed all charges against the shitwipe.”
The silence was filled with the question.
“Yeah, of course I made him pay,” Kohl said quietly. “But I’ve never killed a man as part of the Vigilant, I’ll tell you that much. None of us have.”
I don’t know why it made me as happy as it did, but here it was. It was one thing for Kohl and the others to take justice into their own hands, but if they were killing people – even somewhat deserving ones – I didn’t know how well I could stomach that. Good thing I wouldn’t have to.
Then there was my own involvement in that insanity with my ex. If they ever found out…
A fleeting mad urge – to confess everything, just throw myself at their feet – twirled through me, as pointless and stupid as a kamikaze fruit fly.
Of course I couldn’t tell them. How would I ever explain sitting on it this long?
And, at the end of the day, I had absolutely zero proof. While my ex had… well, he had everything.
The Range Rover pulled back onto the road. Conversationally, almost to the road we were driving down, Kohl said, “You did good tonight.”
“Thanks,” I said.
And we sat there, while he drove and I wondered dully how he “had this” and what the excitement fizzling in me was really for.
Of course I’d noticed how he looked at me – how could I not when I could literally feel it?
But it seemed preposterous to be thinking of my attraction to him after what we’d done – what I did. And yet, I was.
He wanted me, I knew that.
And I wanted Angel, Red and – him too?
This was getting more confusing by the minute.
Relief registered as a woeful flop of my stomach as his Range Rover pulling over in front of my shit building.
Here it was then. Where it would be decided.
Kohl’s gravelly voice ripped me out of my thoughts. “We’re here.”
I started up off my seat, then sat right back down again.
Chapter 23: Kohl
“Could I stay over?” she said.
Her almond eyes said even more. That she was scared and alone and upset. That this probably wasn’t a good idea, but then again, nothing was lately.
I nodded, started driving. Wasn’t any more to say, to talk about.
Though my mind was chattering like one of those wind-up teeth toys I used to play with as a kid.
We were going to my place. Why?
I didn’t go to my place with anyone. Not Angel, not Red, not anyone. There were just the dogs, and me, and that was how I liked it.
With girls, we went to their place. Always. Myla was a girl and yet…
As I cut through downtown to get to the suburbs, there were no c
ars, only green lights. Slowing down to turn, at the corner some woman with a scarred lipsticked face and hungry parted legs beckoned. Fuck.
When I’d said that “I got this”, I’d meant that I’d stay the night at Myla’s. Ward off the scary wittle conscience and omg-what-did-I-just-do mongering. Not have her over here.
In the back, Myla was too quiet. Rolling down the windows, even outside was too quiet. The night watched, blinking the odd star at me.
We were going to my place. Fuck.
Seconds skipped over each other giddily – from the highway to the suburbs, the suburbs’ pleasant forgettably-named streets, Clair Creek, Rowan Lane, Pine Drive – until we had pulled into my house. The grey stone house of broken dreams.
Where I’d had a family once. Love, once.
I opened the car door for her and together we walked towards it. The dark shadows of the spindly pine trees had eaten all of the second story, only left a sliver visible thanks to the moonlight.
The porch I’d built creaked and whined as we walked.
I opened the door for her and she flit inside. I took off her coat, resisted the urge to squeeze her shoulders.
Instead, I glided into the kitchen, to the cupboards. “There’s tea.”
“Is that your way of asking me if I want some?” I didn’t need to see taunting pillows of lips to know that she was smiling. Fuck.
“That’s my way of telling you there’s tea.”
“I’ll have mint – if you have it.”
A cutting tone. Maybe she was wondering why she’d come. I was.
What kind of game was she playing at?
Dating Angel and Red, then coming over here.
Letting us all hold her, touch her, like…
Never mind that I wanted her, that went without saying.
I busied myself not looking at her, getting the tea ready – two teacups.
Still, there it was.
Despite every last crumb of common sense in me shouting to get the hell away from this one – fast, far – I wanted her.
I wanted to be near her.
I wanted to cover her lips with mine and see what our bodies did when no one else was around.
She said nothing, was on her phone. I brought the tea over.
I gestured to a picture on her backscreen. Her and some blonde who looked like her, smiling. “That your sister?”
She nodded. “Ivy.”
There was something about the way she said the word.
“You don’t get along with her,” I said.
Maybe if I knew enough about her than I could explain away this frustrating stiffening in my pants every time I was around her.
“No,” Myla said. “I let her down a few years back, and she’s never forgiven me.”
“People can be shit,” I said, sipping at my tea.
My father sure had been. Still had the scars from what he did that crazy night.
Suddenly, almost hysterically, Myla burst out laughing.
Something shattered. The laughter stop.
“Shit,” she said, surveying the broken teacup. “Sorry.”
She hurried over to the kitchen to fetch a dish towel.
“It’s fine,” I said, “My father gave me that. God knows I could do with less reminders of him.”
Myla was hunched over the spill, swiping over it feverishly with the dish towel.
The words tumbled out of her like dominos. “It’s not fine – my sister won’t speak to me. I’m dating two guys at once. I just lit a building on fire and I don’t know what to do.”
Her shoulders heaved up, then back down. I put my hand on hers.
Our eyes met.
Careful.
I’d heard her well enough: the way her word cracked at ‘two’. No use in adding a third to the mix.
I walked Myla over to the couch. We sat there. I passed her my tea. She sipped it.
“What you did today,” I said quietly. “Probably saved hundreds, if not thousands, of lives. You know what they do with fentanyl, how they sneak it into heroin and ecstasy and other street drugs. How people overdose without even knowing what was actually in the drugs they were doing.”
She heard me, but not really.
She sat there, and I sat there. And I wondered if what was twisting inside her was the same as what was twisting inside me.
No. Fuck.
She was vulnerable and sad and now wasn’t the time.
“That’s not the only thing,” she said quietly.
“Yeah?”
If I didn’t look at her, I could do this. If I just sat here and didn’t look at her curvy body and sexy face, I could do this.
“They’re not the only ones I’m attracted to.”
And all at once, all my resistance fell away.
I knew what to do.
I took Myla’s face in my hands and pressed my lips to it.
Chapter 24: Myla
Oh no.
Oh yes.
As what I’d both feared and ached to happen, happened, all of me tingled.
Kohl’s powerful hands were firm, knew what they wanted. What we wanted.
His lips were the same, twisting on mine, taking what they needed. Our tongues mashed and his hands ripped down me.
He easily lifted me up and sat me on his lap. He held me like that for a minute, strong hands around my waist.
Our gazes caught – a challenge passing from one to the other – oh yeah? – yeah
And then my lips lunged for his and he pulled away slightly, smirked at my fevered straining.
“Jerk,” I said, finally reaching his lips.
“Careful,” he said, his hands sliding down to give my ass a smack.
“Or what?”
He smacked my ass again. “You don’t want to know.”
Already his hands were sliding further, under my jeans, massaging my ass.
His eyes claimed mine. “Take off your pants.”
I froze. The command ringing in that tone… all of me ached to comply and yet – was I really doing this?
He slid one hand still over my panties over to my pussy and mashed his thumb into my clit.
A groan fell out of me.
“Don’t pretend you don’t want this,” he said, mashing his finger into me again.
“Fuck you,” I hissed.
“If you’re lucky.”
Gripping my pants himself, he pulled them down. His gaze flickered all over me as he growled approvingly, “That’s more like it.”
He undid his pants with one hand, while with the other his finger snuck under my panties. By now, I was drenched.
Fuck, Kohl didn’t waste any time. Not that I could think to do anything other than what we were doing, following this impulse to its natural conclusion.
His pulled his pants and briefs down in one easy movement.
I froze, gaping at what was before me. The king of all cocks. Thick and huge and hard as hell.
Kohl smirked at my dazzled expression. “Go on.”
He kissed me hard and peeled my panties to the side. He gave my ass another smack. “Go on. Ride me. Ride me how you know you want to.”
Fuck him. Already I was easing myself onto his thickness, shuddering with how good it felt.
And then I was on, painful prickles of pleasure going through me.
“Fucking yes,” Kohl growled, twitching in me.
His hands went to my hips and lifted me, stabbing me on once more.
My vision went red, as more groans spilled out of me. Kohl slapped my ass. “That’s it.”
Now, my pussy took over. Pure need threw me on and off his raging cock over and over again.
I rode him every which way, as fast and hard as I could. I came once, a wild shrieking orgasm as he squeezed both my tits at once.
Kohl’s eyes were half-lidded, his cock bursting with pleasure. But he wasn’t finished. Not yet.
As I rode him with everything I had, Kohl picked me up. Then holding me by the hips, he shoved me on and
off his cock.
Oh… yes.
Pleasure exploded into me, as he shoved my pussy onto his cock – over and over and over again.
Everything blurred, peaked and then, just as I felt him spilling into me, I came.
--
Afterwards on the couch, he held me tight.
“You’re right,” he said finally. “This is fucked up.”
I groaned. “Seriously?”
He chuckled, slapped my bare ass. “Not as much as I thought. I mean, if you ask me, I should have you all to myself, but… you do still want to see Red and Angel, don’t you?”
His gaze felt like a dagger, but I could only nod. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Kohl’s dangerous expression revealed itself to be a grudging smile. “And if it were anyone else I’d tell them to go fuck themselves, but…”
“You like me?” I said, smirking at him.
Part of me had known all along, but another part of me doubted it even now.
“Let’s just say that if I saw you several times a week for the foreseeable future, I wouldn’t mind,” he said.
He turned away, but not before I could catch a look happier than I’d ever seen him have in his eyes.
Chapter 25: Myla
The next morning, Kohl had dropped me off at home with a kiss and a promise.
We were going to talk about this. Figure this out.
All of us.
Sure enough, minutes later I got the text: Your place. All of us. Talking.
It was from Kohl, and my heart danced as I eyed it. I liked how he had to add the ‘talking’ part.
So I wouldn’t get any other ideas. Anyway, tonight was the night.
The night for us to talk about the situation.
And maybe, just maybe… let it lead us where it would.
The idea weirded me out, all three of them with me at the same time, maybe.
No one had said it outright, but I knew it was in the back of everyone’s minds. It freaked me out.
Finally, I called up Betty.
“You went out with the third guy, didn’t you?” she said immediately.
“How did you…”
“And if you’re calling me up to ask me what I think, then I’ll tell you right now – I think you should go for it.”