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by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff


  I waved him toward me. “Bring it, you dirty fucking bastard.” In my mind I could see what would happen next. Just like with Warner, he’d lunge, I’d move, my hand would pelt his skull with a rock.

  Rook suddenly came out of nowhere, lunging at Smith from behind. Smith swiveled just in time to sink the blade into Rook’s chest.

  Time froze, while Rook and I both stood there, our eyes locked, both of us realizing what had just happened.

  “No!” I jumped on Smith’s back and struck hard with the rock. He fell, but I didn’t let go. I pounded again and again until my hand was slick with blood and he stopped fighting. Somewhere during it all, Luke and two other men appeared.

  “Stephanie! What the…” Luke spotted Rook on the ground, and we both rushed to his side.

  Blood covered his chest, hands, and mouth, and panic poured from his eyes.

  “Get him in the water,” I said to Luke, knowing I couldn’t do it myself.

  Luke nodded frantically. “Hang on, Uncle. Hang on.”

  I backed away as Luke scooped Rook into his arms and waded into the lagoon.

  “Come on. Come on,” Luke said, his voice hurried and desperate.

  “What’s happening?” I paced along the water’s edge. Please, goddammit, please don’t die. I had just lost my father, and regardless of our lacking relationship, his death still hurt. I still loved him. Worse, the pain had broken through the scar tissue around my heart, leaving me with a fresh wound over the loss of Cici. If I lost one more person I loved, that was it for me. I would go fucking mad.

  “Nothing’s happening!” Luke yelled.

  “Why not?” I screamed. We could all see Rook’s face turning blue.

  Luke waded deeper. “It’s not healing him.”

  “Why?” I repeated, feeling the bottom of my world dropping out. This can’t be happening. I can’t lose him too.

  “It takes more energy to heal these kinds of wounds and bring someone back from the dead.”

  “Dead? He’s dead?” The warm blood in my veins turn to jagged ice, and I fell to my knees. No, no, no. This can’t be happening. Please, no. I refused to believe that my life would amount to nothing more than a heart filled with ghosts. Because after this, I’d only be left with memories and loss. An entire lifetime of fucking loss. A childhood without a mother. Teen years without a father. And adulthood without Cici. A life without Rook.

  No. I picked myself up from the mud and got to my feet. My story had to amount to something more than a tediously long tragedy. I had to have a purpose. All this goddamned…shit and pain I’d endured couldn’t all be for nothing. I refused to let my life be meaningless. It’s not, I suddenly realized.

  I looked up at Luke. “And if I get in?”

  His hazel eyes speared me. “It’s suicide. You know that.”

  “But I could save him, right?”

  After several long moments Luke shook his head no, but his words confirmed my suspicions. It would work. “He wouldn’t want to be saved if it meant your death.”

  I glanced down at my feet and noticed the blood seeping through my tennis shoe, mixing with the mud. There was this thin border where the two liquids met and my red, my life, turned into a shimmer of light.

  “He would do it for me,” I said, my heart feeling overwhelmed with a thousand emotions. Rook had put his life on the line to save me. He was dying because he had.

  He loves me. He really loves me. My heart cramped. Because standing here, knowing that I loved him, too, was all that really mattered. We’d both made mistakes, we’d both lied, and now, we’d both forgiven. The irony was, however, that I had been right. We never had a chance. Either he could live or I could. But we wouldn’t be walking away together.

  Suddenly, I saw everything clearly. I had lived my entire life feeling helplessly trapped in a tragedy. Nothing was in my control. But that had just been a story I told myself, because all along, I had the power to choose. And right here, right now, I could decide how I lived my life and what it meant. I want to live a love story. Not a tragedy.

  I stepped forward. “Tell Rook I love him. And all I ask is that he gets free from this place so he can finally have his fantasy.” All he wanted was to be a husband and father, to live a normal life filled with love.

  Still gripping Rook’s limp body in his hands, Luke shook his head. “You don’t understand what you’re doing. It’ll destroy him.”

  “No. He’ll understand how important this is to me. Tell him that for once I have the choice to save someone I love.” I’d had no say about my mother, sister, and father. But now I did. Giving my life for Rook’s didn’t feel like a sacrifice or penance. It felt like fate. An act of love. “Just tell him he changed me and I believe he really can change the world.” Maybe it was why Father Rook chose him, too. All I knew was that when James explained all of their strange religious beliefs, the only one that made sense to me was the part about love being like a ripple in a pond that had the potential to spread across the world. Some called it the butterfly effect. Some called it karma. Others called it the hand of God. All I knew was that our actions had far greater consequences beyond the moment. My mistakes had proven it. The hate in my heart had brought Warner into our lives, cost me my father, and now the life of the man I loved. So maybe, just maybe, this was the way to set the world right.

  I stepped forward.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Rook

  With the cold mud against my back and the warm tropical air dancing across my cheeks, I slowly opened my eyes and knew. I was at the lagoon. And something’s wrong.

  I tried to sit up, but a sharp ache in my chest stopped me.

  “Easy, Uncle. Easy.” Luke appeared at my side, supporting my back. “You were injured. We’re just waiting for a stretcher to get you over to Dr. Rosy.”

  “What happened?” I said, my eyes focusing on Captain Smith’s lifeless body. My head was spinning.

  “Don’t worry about that now. Just rest.”

  “Where’s Warner?” I asked.

  “He suffered a blow to the head, but he’ll live. A few of the men took him back down to the caves. They’ll bring the keys to me so that no one else can free him.”

  “Help me up. We still need to find my aunt.”

  Crouching beside me, Luke pressed down on my shoulder. “You need to rest. And don’t worry about your aunt. We know exactly where she is.”

  I looked at him expectantly.

  “She locked herself in her room. We have two men guarding her.”

  Suddenly, images flooded my mind of chasing Smith through the jungle while the other men pursued Warner. Then, while running, I had a feeling, or perhaps it was a fear: Smith knew about the lagoon. It was how we’d kept him alive all these years. I didn’t want him reaching the water. Having him stronger and younger would only make it harder to capture him. I’d headed in that direction, hoping to cut him off before he reached it.

  “I…why can’t I remember?” I let out a groan and rubbed the spot over my heart, feeling a sharp pain deep inside. “How badly was I hurt?”

  Luke swallowed hard. “It was bad, but you’ll be fine.”

  “But I don’t remember…” My voice trailed off as I suddenly saw Stephanie standing in front of me. “What are you doing here?” I had told her to get on the goddamned plane. When would she ever learn to listen?

  She stared down at me, her eyes vacant.

  “Who are you talking to?” Luke said, glancing over his shoulder and then back at me.

  “I’m talking to…Stephanie,” I muttered her name. “Wait. How badly was I injured?”

  Luke looked away.

  “Luke,” I barked, “how badly?”

  “You died.”

  “What?” The lagoon could bring people back if they weren’t too far gone, though we were talking minutes, not hours. But as many times as we’d attempted it, it didn’t always work. The lagoon’s energy needed to be completely fresh, so to speak. That was our theory, anyway. An
d if we are right, that means that the empty ache in my heart isn’t from my injury.

  “And were you able to bring me back without any additional sacrifices?” My body turned ice cold. I think I already knew the answer.

  Luke’s troubled gaze met mine. “No.”

  I glanced at the empty spot where Stephanie had just been standing, putting two and two together. Oh God. No. I got to my feet and rushed toward the water. “Stephanie!”

  “She said that for once she wanted to save someone she loves.”

  This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t real. “I gave everything to give her life back. I retook my vows; I fought for her.” I even turned her away—the hardest thing I’d ever had to do—but I did it. I did it so she’d move on and find love and…I exhaled. “God, why would you do this to me?”

  “God did not do it. I did.” My aunt stood at the tree line, her face hard planes and anguish.

  The rage built faster than I could check it. I charged and threw her to the ground. I straddled her and wrapped my hands around her neck. “I’ll kill you. I’ll fucking kill you. You freed those fucking animals.”

  “James! Let her go!” Luke tried to pry me off.

  Over my cold dead body. I squeezed harder, and she gulped for air. I knew I had lost my mind, yet I didn’t care. Every man has his breaking point, and mine was this. I had committed to living an eternity in this hell because I loved Stephanie more than I loved myself. “She was everything to me! I gave everything to save her.”

  My aunt struggled beneath my grip, clawing at my hands while Luke screamed. It was all a blur, my rage being the only thing real to me.

  “And she gave everything for you,” my aunt croaked. “It. Had. To be. That way.” She pointed toward the water, and if I hadn’t noticed the expression of utter shock on Luke’s face, I would have thought I was hallucinating.

  The water’s surface was completely covered by thousands of red butterflies slowly flapping their wings.

  What the hell is this? The red butterflies were something I’d seen in my dreams, only coming to me when I dreamed of my perfect life. A butterfly on the window as I woke in the early morning and rolled over in bed to embrace my sleeping wife. Strolling through a field full of butterflies and wildflowers as I walked hand in hand with my wife, the two of us happy and laughing. Butterflies swirling around us as we made love. At the time, I hadn’t known that the woman would be Stephanie, but the red butterflies had become a symbol. It was why I gave red butterfly necklaces to the guests who came to the island for a second chance at life.

  I released my aunt and rose to my shaky feet. The three of us watched in silence as the water’s level began to drop.

  “Is that…?” Luke’s eyes focused on something just beneath the water’s surface, where the butterflies had parted. We all saw it, but I doubt any of us believed our eyes.

  A body?

  Within seconds, the waterline dropped another foot. Then another. It wasn’t just one body, but many, some piled on top of each other.

  “Dear God, what is this?” But as I stared, I recognized the faces, and it dawned on me that their skin wasn’t gray or blue.

  “They’re alive.” I rushed into the water.

  “Call the men!” Luke yelled. “All of them! Tell them to bring Dr. Rosy.”

  I charged toward the heap in the middle, the butterflies fluttering out of my way. I got to the first person, a woman, who’d come to our island over fifty years ago. I don’t believe this.

  I leaned down, placing my ear to her mouth. “She’s breathing.” I dragged her to the shore and laid her in the mud, rushing back to the others, looking for Stephanie. “She has to be here,” I panted. “She has to.”

  My aunt came over and began helping me move the people to the shore, though I soon realized there was no need.

  The butterflies took to the air all at once, swarming around us like a silent red tornado.

  “What’s happening?” Just as fast as they’d arrived, the ruby red cloud flew away. My aunt, Luke, and I stood there, looking all around us. The lagoon was completely empty of water, but people littered the lake bed. Asleep.

  Some of my men showed up, clearly as stunned as we were.

  “Help us,” I commanded, pointing to the people in front of me.

  One by one, we separated the individuals and laid them on the ground. All I could think of was finding her.

  “James.” My aunt’s voice was low and filled with disbelief. “Look.” She pointed toward a man stretched out on his side, wearing a brown robe.

  Father Rook?

  We both went over and rolled him on his back.

  “I don’t believe it,” I said, staring down at a face I hadn’t seen since I was a boy. The high cheekbones and weathered skin. The long straight nose and cleft chin. The long brown hair. “Is this really happening?” I’d claim I was sleeping, but in my dreams his dark robe and hood hid his face. This man was alive. And very real.

  My aunt threw herself over his narrow chest and began to sob. “We did it, my love. We did it, just like you said we would.”

  My aunt wasn’t speaking to me. She was talking to Father Rook, and I suddenly realized that perhaps there was much more to my aunt’s actions than I’d understood. Had this been her plan all along?

  Wait. Stephanie. I swiveled on my heel, my eyes frantically searching for her as more of my men arrived and began carrying people to drier ground.

  Where the fuck is she? Where the hell… I spotted a woman lying on her back, covered completely with mud. But I could recognize Stephanie in a dark room, blindfolded. The connection I felt with her was unlike any other—stronger than my connection with Father Rook.

  I ran over and began wiping her face clean with my hands. Her sweet oval face looked completely healed from her earlier injuries, but she wasn’t breathing.

  I removed my damp shirt and cleared the mud from her nose and around her mouth. I pressed my lips to hers and puffed air into her lungs.

  “Come on, Stephanie.” This could not be the end for us. Not after this. Not after everything.

  I pumped her chest, breathed into her again, and called for help, telling the men to hurry up with Dr. Rosy.

  “Don’t go. Don’t go,” I said.

  “James.” A deep voice spoke softly behind me.

  I turned my head and was greeted by a set of mesmerizing sky-blue eyes. Calmness washed over me like a warm fog. Gazing into Father Rook’s eyes was just like I remembered. With one look, he could fill you with hope and love. He could convince you that anything was possible, because if he was real, then miracles truly existed. “Father Rook, she’s not breathing. She’s—”

  He kneeled beside me, placing his hands on her chest, and began chanting. It was a prayer I had heard when I was a boy.

  Suddenly, memories of standing beside him while he saved a dying young mother flooded my mind. She’d been brought in a small canoe by her husband, who had paddled for three days to reach us. An impossible journey. I’d been maybe eight or nine and had argued with my parents about going down to the beach to watch Father Rook work his gift. My parents forbad it, saying she couldn’t be saved. They wanted to spare me from witnessing her husband’s grief. I snuck down anyway and watched Father Rook pray over her for an hour, the two of them surrounded by the other monks and her weeping husband. All seemed lost, but then I saw it. Her chest rose and dropped. After five minutes, it rose again, and she began breathing on her own. That was the moment I became a believer in miracles.

  Regrettably, that memory became buried after the tragic death of my family, and I lost my way.

  Until Stephanie came along. “Please. You can’t go. I love you. And I know you love me. There is no moving on for either of us if we’re not together.”

  Stephanie’s brown eyes fluttered open, and she gasped for air.

  “Thank you.” I sank back on my heels and whooshed out a breath. For as long as I lived, I would never feel more grateful than I did in this m
oment, like my soul had been returned.

  She rolled to her side, hacking. “What…what…”

  “Go gently. Stay calm.” Father Rook patted her back. “All is well.”

  All I could do was stare at her, feeling my heartbeat, feeling my life come back to me. Thank God. But how? How are all these people here?

  Stephanie sat up and looked up at Father Rook. “Who are you, and where the fuck am I?”

  Father Rook gave me a look and smiled. “She has a mouth, this one.”

  “That she does. And thank you for saving her, Father Rook.”

  “I owe her my thanks. She freed us.”

  I didn’t understand what he meant or how any of this was possible. All that mattered was I had her back. And the lagoon was gone.

  I am free.

  I scooped up Stephanie and kissed her. “I fucking love you.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her cheek to my collarbone. “I have no idea what’s happening, but I love you, too. And I have mud in my underwear.”

  I laughed. “Well, we cannot have that, now can we?”

  The rest of the men showed up, and I looked at Luke. “I’ll be back shortly. Have these people placed in the staff’s quarters.”

  “What do we tell them?”

  I had no idea. Many of them had been chosen because they’d made terrible choices with their lives. But was I any better? I’d played God, taken lives, and hurt the woman I loved most in this world. By my own standards, I wouldn’t have been chosen to live longer.

  “Tell them that we’ve all been given a second chance, and if they know what’s good for them, they’ll make the most of it.”

  Stephanie

  The last thing I remembered was standing on the edge of that lagoon while Luke waded in the water with Rook. I remembered making the decision to go in and that I felt at peace with it. For once, I was getting to save someone I loved. They weren’t being taken from me. I wasn’t helpless.

 

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