“I see,” Lexi nodded, giving him another smile. “And I guess Nikki knew where you were gonna be.”
“Maybe,” Liam shrugged, knowing she was putting two and two together. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Well, I think I do,” she said as she finally pulled her arm free from his grasp. “I should be going back.”
“Wait!” Liam said, reaching out, taking hold of her hand this time, stopping her from walking away. “Please.”
Lexi turned back to Liam, giving him a nervous smile.
“I just wanted to say,” he said, moving closer to her one more time. “God, I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” Lexi replied, as she too took a step closer to Liam.
“Really,” Liam whispered as he inched closer to her once more. His heart was now almost beating out of his chest.
“Really,” she breathed out as Liam slowly closed the gap between them both.
“Liam!” A girl’s voice broke into the moment, sending Liam crashing back down to earth. Lexi instantly pulled her hand free and took a step back from him, the moment they had shared, now completely gone.
Liam turned to see the waitress he went home with a couple of weeks before standing there, giving him the biggest smile. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember her name.
FUCK!!!! He screamed in his head.
“I thought that was you,” she said as she walked up to him, then without even thinking, she leaned in giving him a kiss him on the lips. “You never called me again.”
“Tasha!” He exclaimed, fairly sure that was, in fact, her name.
“It’s Sasha,” she giggled loudly. Liam had to resist rolling his eyes. He glanced at Lexi, and his heart sank when he saw the look on her face. He knew he needed to get rid of the waitress as fast as he possibly could. She continued on with her conversation, clearly unfazed by the fact he was actually standing there with another girl. “I was hoping to see you again. I thought we could have a little more fun like we had a couple of weeks ago. I know Zoe would be up for it too.”
Liam cringed at her words. Again he glanced at Lexi, and the look on her face was completely unreadable.
“Look, Sasha,” Liam said, having no clue what he should even say to her. “I’m sure you’re a nice girl…”
“Oh please. You didn’t think I was that nice the last time you came home with me,” she purred as she stepped closer to Liam. Finally, she glanced at Lexi, giving her a wicked grin. “Your friend can play too if she would like. The more, the merrier.”
“Jesus,” Lexi said, giving Liam an angry look. “I think I will leave you two, to it.”
Without saying another word, she turned and quickly disappeared back into the crowd.
“LEX!” He called after her, but she didn’t even look back.
“I guess she doesn’t want to play,” Sasha laughed as she turned back to Liam.
“SHIT!” Liam cried as he stood there for a moment, unsure of what he should do next. He knew the right thing to do was to let her go. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t just let her walk away again.
“I’m sorry,” Liam said, as he pushed past the girl, then pushing into the crowd. He needed to find Lexi. This time he was going to talk to her and tell her all the things he should have told her, all those years before.
Chapter 10
Liam reached the table where Lexi and Nikki had been sitting, but they had already gone.
“Shit!” he hissed as he turned and headed for the door of the bar. Stepping out into the night air, he blew out a long, frustrated breath. How he had managed to fuck things up once more without even trying, was completely beyond him.
He searched up and down the street for a moment, but he couldn’t see either Lexi or Nikki anywhere.
“FUCK!” He exclaimed, feeling beyond pissed at himself.
Suddenly he spotted Nikki climbing into the back of a cab on the far side of the street.
“WAIT!” He cried out, as he ran out into the street, almost being hit by a passing car. The driver of the car slammed on the breaks and leaned down on his horn. Liam raised his hand as an apology, but he didn’t slow down.
The car horn had made Nikki stop and look up. When she did, and she saw Liam hurrying across the street, she stood back up straight and smiled.
“Nik, please!” Liam gasped breathlessly as he reached the car. “I need to talk to Lexi.”
“Liam she doesn’t want to talk to you,” she replied, but she nodded down towards the car, telling Liam she was inside it.
Liam rushed around the car to where Nikki was standing and gave her a pleading look.
“Go back into Landen,” he said taking hold of the car door. “He will make sure you get home okay.”
Nikki stared at him for a moment, before she smiled once more. Then she slowly stepped back out of Liam’s way, allowing him to climb into the back of the taxi, next to Lexi, closing the door behind him.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Lexi asked, as she instinctively reached for the handle of the door on her side of the car. “I have nothing I want to say to you.”
“Good,” Liam said, as he reached out and took hold of her hand. “Because I just want you to listen.”
She stared at him for a moment, without saying a word.
“Miss, is everything okay?” The driver asked as he glanced at Lexi in his rear-view mirror. She glanced at him for a moment, before finally, she nodded at him, confirming that everything was okay.
Liam released a long breath as he turned to the driver and gave him his address.
“Where the hell do you think we are going?” Lexi asked, pinning Liam with an angry look.
“My place!” Liam informed her, giving her a nervous smile. “Just to talk, I promise.”
Once more Lexi stared at him for a moment, and Liam honestly had no idea what the hell she was thinking. Finally, she sighed, as she sat back into the seat, turning her focus to the world outside.
“Fine!” she huffed, before adding. “But just to talk. I don’t want any funny business.”
“Okay,” Liam chuckled, giving her a warm smile. “I give you my word, no funny business.”
They travelled the rest of the way in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Liam’s mind was racing with all the things he wanted to say to her. He knew he had just one shot; just one chance to say everything he had wished he had said to her that night, five years earlier. He also knew, if he said the wrong thing, he would ruin this chance, and he would never get another.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. Reaching in, he quickly pulled it out to see Landen’s name on the screen. He knew by now, Nikki would have gone back into the bar and told him where he was going and who he was with.
He pressed down on the phone and opened the message from his brother, smiling when he read his words.
Don’t screw this up!
Liam glanced over at Lexi, who was watching him from the side of her eye. The minute his eyes met hers, she looked away, making Liam smile. He knew she was wondering who the text was from. She just would never ask who.
“It’s Landen,” he told her, giving her a smile. “He told me not to screw this up.”
Lexi turned to look at him, but still she didn’t say a word. Liam had no clue what she was thinking, but right at that moment, he thought she never looked more beautiful.
Don’t screw this up! He repeated Landen’s words in his mind.
Ten minutes later, the cab pulled to a stop outside Liam’s apartment, as Lexi leaned towards the window, glancing up at the building outside.
“Where are we?” She asked without turning to look at Liam.
“My place,” he replied as he reached forward to pay the driver. Then he pushed opened the door, climbing out quickly so he could hurry around to open the door for Lexi. When he did, he held out his hand to her, to help her from the car. Lexi hesitated for a moment, staring at his hand. Liam briefly thought that she wasn’t going to take his hand
, but finally, she did. She slipped her hand into his, then climbed out of the car. The feel of her hand in his sent a charge of electricity through his entire body. Why did this girl always have such a huge effect on him?
“Thank you,” she replied, giving him a warm smile.
Releasing her hand, Liam turned and headed towards the door, pulling his keys from his pocket. He quickly opened the door, then stepped back to let Lexi inside.
“When did you move?” She asked as they both stepped into the elevator. Liam pulled down the door and pulled down the level. The elevator jumped to life.
“I moved here about four years ago,” Liam replied, as he turned to look at Lexi. She looked almost as nervous as he felt. “I thought I needed a fresh start after…”
He stopped, realising what he was saying and whom he was saying it to.
“There were too many memories in my old place,” he continued honestly. “I couldn’t stay there any longer.”
“I see,” she replied, giving him a nervous smile.
Liam was almost relieved when the elevator came to a stop. He quickly turned and pulled up the door, before he stepped off, heading straight for the door to his apartment. Once more he opened the door, then stepped back to let Lexi inside.
As she walked into the apartment, she looked around, taking in her surroundings. She smiled as she slowly turned to face Liam.
“So, what do you think?” he said, giving her a nervous smile. Liam wished he didn’t feel so terrified right at that moment. He couldn’t believe she was actually standing there, in his apartment. It was something he never believed would happen.
“This place is very…very you,” she replied with a broad smile.
“Is that a bad thing?” Liam asked with a grin.
“No,” Lexi laughed. “No, I like it. Even the basketball hoop.”
Liam laughed too as he glanced up at the basketball hoop mounted on the wall above the entrance way. He remembered his mother’s reaction to it when he insisted on hanging it after she had decorated the loft for him. She was less than thrilled about that, or the pinball machine he had against the other wall, for that matter.
“Mom wasn’t thrilled about it,” Liam explained as he walked through to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of wine from the chiller, then two glasses from the cupboard. “She was the one who decorated this place for me, and she didn’t get why I thought a basketball hoop inside my apartment was a good idea.”
“I can imagine,” Lexi laughed as she watched him walk across the room, sitting down on the sofa.
Setting the glasses and bottle down on the coffee table, Liam looked up at her, giving her an uncertain look. He thought that a glass of wine would help them both relax, but now the look on her face made him wonder if it were a bad idea.
“Would you like a glass of wine?” He asked, holding up the bottle. He didn’t want it to seem like he was just being presumptuous.
“Sure,” she replied with a nod, but she didn’t move from where she was standing at the far side of the room.
“Would you like to sit?” He asked, once more looking at her expectantly.
“Sure,” she replied once more as she slowly walked across the room, sitting down at the far end of the sofa.
Liam knew she was just a terrified as he was, and that somehow made him feel a little better. He picked up the wine bottle and poured a glass for Lexi, then one for himself. Setting the bottle down, he picked up the two glasses, handing her one too.
“Thank you,” she said, taking it from him, bringing it to her lips. “Mmm, tastes good. This is my favourite label.”
“I remember,” Liam smiled, as he brought his glass to his mouth and took a long sip. “I remember it all.”
Lexi just smiled once more but didn’t reply.
“Lexi,” Liam said, setting his glass back down on the coffee table. “About what happened at the club.”
“You don’t have to explain,” Lexi replied, shaking her head. “It really is none of my business. You and I have been over for a long time, so you don’t have to explain anything.”
“But I want to,” Liam continued. “And I want to apologise, for that girl I mean…”
“Which one,” Lexi asked, surprising Liam. Her face flushed with embarrassment and he knew she regretted her words. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. That was a cheap shot.”
“Maybe,” Liam replied, knowing that he needed to be completely honest with her now. “But one you most certainly deserved to take.”
“But, I didn’t come here to fight,” she said as she too set her glass down on the table.
“Then why did you come?” He asked, giving her a questioning look. He wanted her answer to be that she still loved him, and she hoped they could make this work somehow, but he doubted that he would get the answer he wanted to hear.
“I don’t know,” she sighed, giving him a strange look before she suddenly stood back up. “But maybe coming here wasn’t such a great idea? Maybe I should go?”
She picked up her handbag from the coffee table, then quickly headed for the door. Liam was on his feet and right behind her as she reached the door. He pressed his hands against it, stopping her from opening it.
“Liam, please don’t,” Lexi begged without turning to face him.
“Lex,” he whispered, moving closer to her. “It’s killing me being so close to you and not being allowed to touch you. I know I fucked things up in the past. There hasn’t been a day I haven’t hated myself for what I did. It was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. The other was letting you walk away from me; I should have made you stay and listen. No one could ever compare to you, Lex. I’ve loved you since the first minute I saw you.”
“Liam so much has changed since back then.” Lexi cried, still refusing to look at him. “There are things you don’t know about me. Things that could change how you feel about me. I’m not the same girl I used to be.”
“But don’t you get it,” Liam breathed against her ear. “There is nothing you could possibly tell me that could ever change how I feel about you. Lexi, I love you. Tell me you don’t feel the same.”
“Liam, you don’t know what you are saying,” Lexi whispered pressing her head against the cold wood. “If you knew what I have been through. I… I just don’t know if I would ever be enough for you.”
“But you’re enough for Eric?” Liam replied, but the minute he said the words, he regretted them.
“Eric loves who I am now,” Lexi said as she finally turned to face Liam. “Not some idealized version of someone who no longer exists.”
“Then tell me who you are now,” he pleaded, holding her gaze. “Let me in, stop pushing me away.”
Before she could answer him, her mobile phone began to ring. She didn’t move for a moment, just stood and stared up into his eyes. He knew she wanted to say more, but she didn’t. It was like she was afraid, he just didn’t know of what.
“I need to answer that,” she said as she reached into her bag and pulled out her phone. She looked down, then quickly looked up at Liam. “It’s Eric.”
Liam stepped back as she hit accept on the phone.
“Hey,” Lexi said bringing the phone to her ear, but her eyes never left Liam’s. “I’m okay; I’m at Nikki’s.”
Liam listened to what Lexi was saying, but he couldn’t hear what Eric was saying on the other end.
“Of course I’m okay,” Lexi replied, this time closing her eyes. He knew that Eric was clearly picking up that she was upset by the tone of her voice. Clearly he knew Lexi well too. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Her face became flushed as she spoke to Eric, and Liam knew she was struggling to keep control of her emotions.
“I love you too,” she whispered, and Liam could hear her voice cracking with unshed tears. “I’ll see you then.”
She hung up the phone and released a long breath as she turned her back to Liam.
“I think I should just go,” she said as she wiped the tear
s from her face. She reached for the handle of the door, but before she could open it, Liam was behind her once more. He pressed his hands against the wood on either side of her head.
“Don’t do this,” He begged her, praying that he could somehow reach her. “I know this is not what you want.”
“Liam, I’m with Eric now.” She sobbed without turning to face him. She pressed her forehead against the door and sighed. “Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
“Then tell me,” he whispered, his mouth softly brushing against her ear. “Tell me you don’t love me. Turn around, look me in the eye, and tell me you don’t want me as much as I want you right now.”
Lexi took a deep breath as she slowly turned to face Liam once more. When she finally opened her eyes, they immediately locked with his. Liam could see she was in turmoil. He knew she was struggling between doing the right thing and following her heart.
“You can’t say it, can you?” Liam said, moving closer to Lexi as her gaze dropped to the floor. He smiled to himself because he knew he was right, she couldn’t say it. Part of him hated to see her struggle, but part of him; the part that loved her more than life itself, couldn’t hold back any longer.
He reached up, taking hold of her chin with his fingertips, tilting her head back so that her eyes looked into his, Staring into her eyes for a moment, he smiled before he softly kissed her lips.
“I love you, Lexi,” he breathed against her lips. “And I know you love me too.”
“I do,” she whispered, nodding her head as tears trickled down her face. “But it’s so complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Liam replied as he reached up and softly brushed the tears from her face.
“How can it not,” Lexi sobbed softly as she leaned her face into his touch. “Liam, there is so much you don’t know. So much that has changed…”
“Then tell me,” Liam pleaded before he leaned forward and softly kissed her lips. “Please. Don’t ask me to let you go again.”
Kissing her again, Liam slipped his arms around her, drawing her into his embrace. Every ounce of his being wanted her. He knew that they were moving so quickly; probably too quickly, but he couldn’t stop. He wanted her, and now he had her there in his arms, he was never going to let her go again.
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