“I hadn’t noticed,” Lexi replied, stunned that Liam had noticed she’d been avoiding Nikki all day.
“What’s happened?” Liam asked, giving her a smile that told her he knew she was upset about something.
“It’s nothing that matters,” Lexi sighed, returning his smile before she reached for her clutch on the table. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to go to the little girl’s room.”
Lexi stood up, then quickly made her way towards the door to the house before Liam could question her any further.
When she reached the bathroom, she stood before the mirror above the sink and stared at her reflection. Despite how she was feeling inside, she was happy with how she looked on the outside.
The hairdresser had put her hair up in perfect curls on the back of her head, adding a few hair jewels to finish the look. Her make-up was subtle but enough to hide the fact she’d spent a large part of the morning sobbing on the bathroom floor. Her favourite part, however, was her dress. It was one she’d bought about a year before, but she’d never gotten around to wearing it.
It was a pale lavender, strapless dress that fell just below her knees, with a full skirt and a chiffon overlay with tiny, sparkling sequins, that made it shimmer in the sunlight. It was probably the nicest dress Lexi had ever bought.
Lexi reapplied her lipstick, then squirted some perfume, before she headed for the door, to head back to the party. But when she opened the door, she was surprised to find Nikki standing there, waiting on her to come out.
“Lex!” Nikki said the moment she saw her. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine!” She replied, knowing that now was not the time or place for her and Nikki to have a discussion.
“Lex, it’s me,” Nikki said, giving her a knowing smile. “I know you better than you know yourself. I can tell when you’re upset, and I can tell when you’ve been crying. Plus, you’ve barely said two words to me today. So, do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?”
“Nell came to talk to me today?” Lexi said, waiting for Nikki to react to what she’d just said. But much to Lexi’s surprise, she didn’t even flinch. “She wanted to tell me, that there was nothing I could tell Liam that would change how he feels about me.”
Nikki's eyes widened a little, as if the realisation of what Lexi has said, hit her. Still, she didn’t speak.
“Nikki, how could you tell her?” Lexi asked, unable to bite her tongue any longer, she turned and walked back into the bathroom, sitting down on the toilet. “I trusted you.”
“You… you think I told her?” Nikki asked, giving Lexi a stunned look as she followed her into the bathroom.
“You were the only one that knew about the baby,” Lexi cried, trying hard to keep control of her emotions. “I promised you I was going to tell Liam about the baby. I just needed time.”
“You’ve had five years, Lex,” Nikki replied, sounding almost hurt by what her friend had said. “He had a right to know. But I didn’t tell Nell about it. You asked me to keep it secret and I did. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I did. I can’t believe you would even think I would do that.”
“But someone told her,” Lexi sighed, stunned that she had gotten it so wrong. “Oh, God. Someone else knows about the baby. What if they tell Liam too?”
“Then maybe you should,” Liam said suddenly from the doorway.
“Liam!” Lexi said, almost jumping up from where she was sitting.
“Nikki,” Liam said not taking his focus from Lexi. “Can you give us a few minutes?”
“Sure,” Nikki said, as she stood up and reluctantly walked out of the bathroom.
“So,” Liam said, staring at Lexi, his face completely unreadable. “Would you like to tell me what the hell is going on?”
“Liam,” Lexi sighed, having no clue where even to start. “I know you’re upset, but you have to believe me, I was going to tell you tonight. I just wanted the wedding to be over; then I was going to tell you everything.”
“You should have told me from the start, Lexi,” Liam sighed, still his face was completely unreadable. “I have a kid out there somewhere, and you never told me.”
“What? No!” Lexi exclaimed, horrified that Liam had picked things up so badly. “There is no baby.”
“But I heard you,” Liam argued as he began to pace up and down the bathroom. “I heard you and Nikki talking. She said she'd kept it a secret from me for five years. How could you do that? All this time you’ve been back and you never once told me. Jesus, Lex, I have a right to know my own child.”
“Liam, there is no baby,” Lexi repeated, feeling like the biggest bitch in the world when she saw the hurt on his face.
“But, I heard you,” Liam replied, stopping dead in his tracks, and Lexi could see his mind was now working overtime. Suddenly, a look of pure heartbreak spread across his face as if the realisation of what happened had finally hit him. “Oh God, you were pregnant, back then. You were carrying my baby when I… and then you left. You left without even telling me…”
“Liam, I didn’t know I was pregnant at the time,” Lexi whispered, as finally, tears spilled down her face, wishing now she’d just told him the truth from the start. “You have to believe that. The night I walked out of our apartment, I had no idea. Then, when I found out that I was pregnant, I felt so alone. You had hurt me so badly...”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” Liam said, cutting her off mid-sentence as his eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “I have never loved anyone more than I loved you, but right now I don’t even feel like I know you at all.”
“Liam,” Lexi tried to reason with him. “If I’d known before I left, I wouldn’t have walked away so easily.”
“But you did, you left me,” Liam said as he quickly brushed away a tear that had escaped from his eye. “Jesus, Lexi, did you really hate me so much that you would get rid of our baby like that.”
“What, No!” Lexi cried, realising Liam thought she’d chosen to end the pregnancy. Her heart was now racing in her chest, and she had no clue how to make this right. “That’s not how it was. I never hated you. Sure I was hurt, but I could never hate you. And as for the baby…”
“You know what, I’ve heard enough,” Liam said, suddenly turning toward the door. “I can’t do this right now.”
“Liam, please,” Lexi cried as she hurried after him. “If you would just let me explain.”
“No,” Liam said, suddenly turning back to look at her. “You’ve had five years to explain to me. Five years to tell me that for five minutes, I was someone’s father. That baby was mine too Lexi. It was mine, and you took that away from me. I don’t think I can ever forgive you for that.”
Without saying another word, Liam turned and hurried down the hallway and out through the door at the end, slamming it behind him.
Lexi stood there for a moment, trying to process what the hell had just happened. Liam had walked away. She knew he had completely got the story wrong in his head, but he wouldn’t even let her explain. She knew she’d made such a mess of everything.
She walked back down the hallway but stopped before she reached the door to the patio. She knew there was no way she could face all those people now.
She turned slowly, then walked back through the kitchen out to the hallway, then to the front door.
“Lexi!” Nikki called just as she reached the door. “Where are you going?”
“I can’t stay here, Nik,” Lexi said, giving her friend a sad smile. “He hates me so much right now. You were right. I should have told him from the start.”
“You can’t walk away again, Lex,” Nikki said, taking hold of her hand.
“I messed everything up, Nik,” Lexi sighed. “He is never going to listen to me now. He thinks I got rid of the baby to hurt him.”
“Then tell him the truth,” Nikki pleaded. “You can’t leave things like this.”
“Nikki, he wants to be a father,” Lexi sighed
as fresh tears trickled down her face. “Maybe it’s best that he doesn’t know the truth. If he hates me, then maybe he can finally move on and find someone who will give him the life he dreams of.”
“This is not right,” Nikki said as she too, couldn’t hold back the tears.
“But it’s how it needs to be,” Lexi replied, giving her friend a hug, before she turned and walked out of the house, and out of Liam’s life once more.
Chapter 24
Liam set his empty glass down on the bar and stared at the barman.
“Same again,” he growled, wanting only to get so drunk that he felt nothing. He wanted to forget about Lexi, and the baby, and everything else that was so completely fucked up in his life.
The barman did as he was asked and filled Liam’s glass once again.
“Hey,” Dylan said as he suddenly appeared next to Liam, signalling to the barman for a drink. “I’ll have a sparkling water.”
Liam knocked his drink back with another gulp and slammed his glass down on the bar top, once more.
“And I’ll have another one of these,” he grunted before he turned to look at Dylan.
“Is everything okay?” Dylan asked, giving Liam a worried look.
“I guess that depends on what you consider okay,” Liam sighed, feeling like his world was falling to pieces. “I mean, I asked Lexi to marry me, and she said yes. But then I found out she was keeping this big secret from me, and now, I don’t even know if I know her anymore.”
“Wait! You asked Lexi to marry you?” Dylan exclaimed, giving his brother a hug. “That’s amazing news.”
“Well,” Liam sighed, pulled back from his brother, reaching for his drink once more. “That’s really a matter of opinion. I mean, if you ignore the part where she killed my unborn child, then yeah. I guess it’s amazing news.”
“She did what?” Dylan asked, giving Liam a stunned look.
“Yep,” Liam said as he brought his drink to his mouth once more, knocking it back with one gulp. “I guess payback for screwing someone else was more than I had bargained for.”
“Okay,” Dylan said, reaching for the empty glass in Liam’s hand. He set in down on the counter, before he took Liam by the elbow, leading him into the house, then down the hallway to his father’s study.
“Jesus, Dylan,” Liam said, pulling his arm free from his brother’s grasp. “You sure know how to kill a good party.”
“Getting wasted at Finn and Emmy’s wedding is not the answer to anything,” Dylan replied as he closed the door behind them. “Now, why don’t you start at the beginning? What do you mean, Lexi killed your unborn child?”
“I would have thought that was pretty self-explanatory,” Liam sighed as he flopped down onto the sofa in his father’s study.
“Lexi told you she terminated her pregnancy?” Dylan asked, giving Liam a questioning look. “When?”
“I heard her and Nikki arguing,” Liam sighed, looking up at his brother. “She was upset that Nikki had told Mom. Pity she didn’t think to tell me too.”
“And did you ask Lexi what had happened?” Dylan pushed, his reaction confusing Liam a little.
“I did,” Liam confirmed. “I asked her where my child was, and she said there was no child. She was pregnant; then she wasn’t.”
“But did she actually say she got rid of the baby?” Dylan demanded, completely stunning Liam with his behaviour.
“She… no, but she said there was no baby,” Liam replied, feeling even more confused than he already did. “Dylan, what does it matter what she said?”
“Because you have got this so wrong!” Dylan replied, surprising Liam with his reply. “You overreacted like you always do, and you got this so wrong, it’s unbelievable.”
“How?” Liam asked looking at his brother like he lost his damn mind. Liam may have been a little drunk now, and more than a little upset, but he knew what he heard. He knew what she said. He didn’t know how he could have gotten this wrong. Lexi told him herself. She was pregnant; then she wasn’t. “Dylan, I know you like to think that you’re the one that got the brain between the two of us, but I know what I heard.”
“No, you know what you think you heard,” Dylan sighed, rolling his eyes. “Yes, Lexi was pregnant when she left you. Judging from her files, she was about five weeks pregnant, around the time she walked out on you because it was estimated that she was about eight weeks pregnant when she was in the crash.”
“The crash,” Liam said, the scar on Lexi’s body jumping into his mind. “What crash?”
“Five years ago, Lexi was in a car crash,” Dylan explained, to a confused Liam. “Her injuries were quite extensive. When she got to the emergency room, she’d already lost a great deal of blood. She had suffered several serious injuries. She had taken quite an impact. Liam, Lexi lost the baby in the crash, she also suffered devastating trauma to her uterus. She was bleeding quite heavily, and the doctor was left with no other choice than to perform a complete hysterectomy.”
“So…” Liam said, suddenly lost for words, having no clue what he should say now, much less, what to think.
“Lexi lost the baby,” Dylan repeated, his words cutting through Liam like a knife to his heart. “And she can’t have any more children.”
“Did she tell you all of this?” Liam asked, feeling so many emotions, he could barely breathe.
“No,” Dylan shook his head. “I read it in her file, but she doesn’t know that I know.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Liam asked, giving Dylan a questioning look. “I mean if I had known.”
“Come on, Liam,” Dylan sighed. “You know I couldn’t tell you this. I shouldn’t be telling you now. I’m breaking so many rules. Shit, I could lose my license for just having this conversation.”
“But you told mom,” Liam said, feeling a little hurt that they both knew this about Lexi and neither one told him the truth. “Dylan, you should have told me too.”
“Technically, I didn’t tell Mom,” Dylan sighed. “Well, not everything.”
“What do you mean?” Liam asked.
“You talked to Landen about a scar?” Dylan explained. “He mentioned it to Mom, and Mom being Mom, she jumped to the same conclusion you did. She thought that Lexi had a child, but that it was living with her parents.”
“Jesus,” Liam groaned, knowing that this was all just such a mess.
“Mom knows she lost the baby,” Dylan continued. “But I didn’t tell her the rest. I thought it wasn’t my story to tell. That’s up to Lexi.”
“I am such a fucking idiot,” Liam sighed, pushing his hands through his hard in frustration. “She tried to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen. I just was my usual pig-headed self.”
“Then go find her,” Dylan said, smiling at him. “This time make it right.”
“I will,” Liam said pushing up from the sofa, He walked to the door, but then stopped and looked back at Dylan. “Thanks, Dylan.”
“Any time,” Dylan replied, giving him a reassuring smile.
He made his way down the hallway, back out to the patio in search of Lexi. He searched the crowd, but she was nowhere to be seen. He did, however, spot Georgie sitting talking to Gabby, Emmy’s best friend.
“Hey, Gabs,” Liam said, giving her a smile before he turned his attention to Georgie. “You haven’t seen Lexi anywhere?”
“I think I saw her going to the bathroom,” Georgie replied, looking at her watch. “But that was over thirty minutes ago. Have you asked Nikki?”
Liam followed her gaze and he spotted Nikki standing at the other doorway to the house, talking to some guy Liam didn’t recognise. He rushed over to her, completely ignoring the fact she was deep in conversation with some guy.
“Nik, have you seen Lexi anywhere?” He asked, desperate for her to say she had.
“Excuse me,” Nikki said to the guy before she turned her attention to Liam, leading him into the house. “Are you kidding me with this shit, Liam?”
“Nik, I know
I acted like a giant douche,” Liam sighed, giving her a pleading look. “I just want to find Lexi…”
“No shit you acted like a douche,” Nikki hissed back. “Do you have any idea what she has been through? Her world fell apart, and all she thought about was not ruining your life too.”
“I don’t understand,” Liam said, surprised by her response.
“She was on her way back to you, you Jackass,” Nikki sighed, stunning Liam. “The day she was in the crash. She was coming back to tell you about the baby. You’d hurt her so badly, but she couldn’t stop loving you. She was coming back to ask you to start over. To try and be a family the baby deserved. But the truck changed all of that. I pleaded with her to tell you, but she refused. She said it was bad enough; her life was changed forever; she couldn’t ask you to give up your dreams too.”
“She was coming back to me?” Liam asked, his heart aching so much he couldn’t think straight.
“Yes,” Nikki replied, releasing a long, deep sigh. “Liam that girl loves you so much, probably more than you really deserve. It’s time to stop being such an ass. She needs you to be the one who fights for her now.”
“I need to talk to her,” Liam said turning back towards the door.
“She’s gone,” Nikki told him, stopping him dead in his tracks. “I tried to stop her, but you know what Lexi is like. Once something gets in her head, there is nothing anyone can say to change it.”
“Gone where?” Liam asked, a sinking feeling forming in the pit of his stomach.
“Knowing Lexi, as I do,” Nikki sighed. “My guess would be, she is back at your apartment, packing her things as we speak.”
“Shit!” Liam exclaimed, pulling his phone from his pocket, as he turned and made his way back out toward the patio to look for Dylan. He brought up Lexi’s phone number and hit call, but it just went straight to voicemail. “Damn it!”
“Liam!” Nikki called as she hurried after him. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“If she’s gone back to the apartment, she could be walking into trouble,” Liam replied, but he didn’t slow down, much less stop. He had to find Dylan, and he had to find him fast.
Liam (The Murphy Boys Series Book 4) Page 24