She tasted like coffee and chocolate, and when she relaxed against me, my heart almost burst with how right she felt. Her answering sigh calmed my nerves, and she nipped at my bottom lip as a sparkle entered her eyes.
“I’m sorry for not saying this sooner. I knew it but was trying to do the right thing, I think. I don’t even know.” I kissed her forehead and held her tight against me. “We won tonight, and I didn’t even care.”
“What?”
“You. I needed to find you, Ryann. I want to be with you all the time. Like a real couple,” I said, almost panting as I rested my forehead against hers. “You make my life so much better. You’re my favorite human on the planet, and it’s crazy we thought we could end this. God, I was an ass yesterday.”
“I was too,” she said, reaching up and cupping my chin. Her eyes swirled with love and heat, and my heart fluttered in my chest. She was with me. She wanted me too.
I swallowed hard at the overwhelming emotion raging through my body. I kept everyone at a distance because it was safer, but this beautiful, goofy woman snuck in, and instead of being terrified, I loved it. “Ryann,” I said, but she put her finger against my lips.
“No, let me say this please. I panicked when Michael saw us together and accused me of doing exactly what I promised him I wouldn’t. I said things that weren’t true right when you needed me most. I’m sorry, Jonah.” She looked at the ground and took a deep breath before meeting my eyes. ”We are so much more than nothing, god. I keep replaying it in my head, all the ways it could’ve gone. I hope you forgive me.”
“Of course I do.” I covered her hands with mine, needing all the skin contact I could get. She was warm and sweet and home. “I love you, Ry. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. The second I knew it, I should’ve told you.”
She blinked a few times and smiled ear to ear. “I love you too.”
“Your brother told me you loved me,” I said, moving my hand to her lower back and crushing her against my chest. “You weren’t at the game, and it freaked us both out. He said it was my fault, and I had no idea what he was talking about.”
“He what?”
“No, no.” I paused, not wanting her to think he did anything out of line. ”He told me I needed to get my shit in gear since his sister loved me. Neither one of us liked the fact you weren’t there.”
She shrugged. “I needed a break from it, honestly. I won’t miss another game.” She frowned and played with a button on my shirt, her voice a little breathless. “You never came home, Jonah.”
“I crashed at my dad’s, I swear.” My voice got too high at the thought of her worrying. How could I possibly think of another human when she took up all of my thoughts and emotions?
She hummed against me and squeezed her arms tighter. God, I wanted to stay like this forever. “When you wanted to talk yesterday morning, I was so afraid you were going to end things, so I avoided it,” she said, her face pressed into my chest.
“That’s why you were so weird? I thought you were going to end it,” I said, laughter escaping me. We’d both feared the same thing and acted stupid because of it. “I’m yours until you’re done with me. I mean it.”
She looked up at me, her eyes filled with love and her lips parted. I couldn’t imagine not receiving her smiles and her teases, or not loving her. On missing out on those moments where she made food when I was sad or attempted to do a workout with me. I wanted it all.
She gave me a sly look, and a blush filled her cheeks. “I don’t think you need to worry about that happening.”
“Yeah?” My heart fucking soared, and I dropped a kiss to her mouth. “Why’s that?”
She pursed her pretty lips and narrowed her eyes for a beat. “Because I don’t ever fall for people. I avoid feelings and getting too invested in people. Losing my parents almost destroyed me. You, my dear roommate, are in. You snuck past all my walls and self-protected guards. I fell hard, and I love you so much it kinda terrifies me.”
How did I get so damn lucky? I kissed her again, this time softer and with tongue. She kissed me right back until the bell rang. She jumped back, blushed hard, and smoothed down her apron before looking over my shoulder. Her panicked expression shifted to amusement, and I spun around, snorting at Michael standing in the café with his arms crossed.
“Good. Glad you both got your shit together.”
“Wow, you came here to make sure?” Ryann asked, her eyes tearing up. “Michael…”
“Nope.” He held up his hand. “Not a word. I wasn’t here. I don’t love this.” He shook his head back and forth but had a hint of a smile on his face. “I need to get drunk.”
He marched out without another look, and I picked Ryann up and set her on the counter. The last patron hadn’t looked up from their book, so I kissed her again, deeper. “When can you leave?”
“Another hour,” she groaned, placing her hands on my chest. “Want to wait around and walk back with me?”
“You couldn’t get me to leave.”
She grinned at me, the slight gap in her teeth on full display, and I was so consumed by her I almost floated to a table to wait.
I could have the girl, secure my scholarship, and not live in a bubble without joy. She taught me that. I had never been so goddamn glad of getting our names mixed up from the ad. I loved this girl and couldn’t think of a better person to have by my side in life. I just had to prove it to her every single day. And I would.
Epilogue
RYANN
“Jonah,” I moaned, arching my back as my boyfriend went down on me right on the kitchen counter. He spread my legs wide and flicked his tongue against my clit, hard. He was relentless and held my waist down so I couldn’t move.
We were having a holiday meal in less than an hour with his dad and my brother, and I made the mistake of daring him to be quick.
I should’ve known better.
Jonah relished challenges.
“Told you less than a few minutes,” he said, sucking my swollen clit into his mouth as he slid two fingers inside of me. “Are you counting?”
“N-no,” I whimpered, slamming my head back against the cupboards as he continued to stroke me with his wicked tongue. His hot breath and stubble tickled my inner thighs, and he swirled with the right amount of pressure to the point I was so close.
Then he stopped, looked up at me with wet lips and licked them. “Hmm, should I make you wait until everyone leaves before giving you want you want?”
“You bastard,” I said, grabbing his hair and shoving his face back between my thighs. He laughed and ran his fingers up and down my legs with a gentle touch that always made me tremble.
He was intense, a badass on the ice, but he was so sweet with me.
He cuddled with me, got better at making breakfast, and kissed me all the time for no reason. I loved him so much it scared me, but when his mouth was on my pussy, his warm tongue was all I could feel.
“I love getting you off,” he mumbled, sliding three fingers into me and thrusting at the same rate he flicked my clit. “It’s my favorite sound, Ry. You falling apart because of me.”
I couldn’t speak. The orgasm was right there, just needing him to oh. Yes. I groaned as the pleasure shot from my core to each and every nerve of my body, my legs shaking at the power of it. He ate me up and didn’t stop as I bucked and thrashed against his face.
My cries made him hold me harder and flick faster.
“So fucking hot,” he said, kissing my folds one last time. His brown eyes lit up with heat and passion and love, and he bent over to kiss me right on the mouth. “Taste yourself?”
“Jonah,” I said, half forcing him away, half pulling him closer. “You devil.” I checked the clock. “They’ll be here soon.”
“Don’t care. Told you it’d be fast.”
“What are we gonna do about your raging boner right now?” I jutted my chin to it and gripped him through his loose pants. It made me crazy when he wore them low on his trim hips,
and seeing how hard he was for me got me hot again. “Should I make you wait until later?”
He barked out a laugh. I got onto my knees, pulling his pants down so his cock rested against his stomach, and I took him in my mouth. He groaned and held my head, guiding me to the pace he wanted. There was something so hot about making him lose control.
No one got to see Jonah Daniels like this, on the edge, barely hanging on. Just me.
“Christ, Ry. Yes.”
I took him deeper and faster, cupping his balls as I used my hand on the base of his shaft. We knew each other’s bodies so well I knew I could get him off fast. That’s what this was, wasn’t it? Us risking the timing of our family’s arrival?
His thighs became taut, and he tasted like sweat, but I continued sucking him off until he said my name. “Ry, I’m gonna--fuck.”
I didn’t stop.
His ragged breaths and jerky movements lasted almost a minute before he pulled out of my mouth and hauled me up into his arms. He gripped my ass and bit down on my collarbone. “I fucking love you.”
“You too,” I said, laughing and feeling drunk on him. He carried me from the kitchen and into my bathroom where he turned on the water and tossed me into the shower.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“Being mature. Get ready and dressed. I don’t trust myself in a shower with you. We have twenty minutes before they get here.” His expression was off, and it hit me.
The orgasms and teasing were a way to distract himself.
My boyfriend was nervous.
“Hey, it’s going to be great.” I moved toward him, cupping his face until he melted into me.
“It’s our first holiday with my dad and your brother. What if it’s awful?”
“We’re celebrating with all the people we love most. It won’t be awful, I promise.”
He relaxed, and a shy smile crossed his face, my favorite one. “You’re right.”
“I know.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Smug isn’t a good look on you.”
“Yes, it is,” I fired back. He smacked my ass and pointed his finger at me. “Are you scolding me? Why is this hot?”
He barked out a laugh, shook his head, and left my bathroom door. My heart was so damn happy, and for the first time since losing our parents, Christmas didn’t have the same depressing fog like it normally did. Even Hannah and Preston were going to come over for presents later that afternoon.
My family of two might be growing in a way we didn’t expect, but it brought me so much joy. And Jonah could worry about Michael all he wanted, but my brother liked him.
He even told me. Having our twosome turn into three… even four with Jonah’s dad, was the best thing I could’ve asked for. Our family was getting bigger, and I’d forgotten what it was like to be this happy again. I couldn’t wait to see what else Jonah and I got to experience in life, together.
T H E
E N D
Thank you for reading Holdout by Jaqueline Snowe. Did you know there’s a bonus epilogue for Ryann and Jonah? Click here to get it.
You can get all the links to the next Moo U books right here. Or turn the page for more great recommendations for Jaqueline Snowe and World of True North titles!
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Acknowledgments
A huge, heartfelt thanks to Sarina and everyone on the Heart Eyes Press team. They are incredible, kind, and do so much work behind the scenes. This entire experience was so much fun and to be a part of the True North World is a dream come true. The Moo U Hockey authors are the BEST and it's been such a ride getting this story out in the world.
I couldn't have done it without Kat, Heather, and Ember. Thank you for reading my words and telling me what worked, didn't work, and making Ryann and Jonah shine. Writing is never a solitary journey and I'm so grateful for you.
Katherine McIntyre. I adore working with you (and reading everything you write!) and cannot thank you enough for pushing me and making this story so much better.
As always, a special shout out to my husband who nods and smiles when I'm looking up pictures of shirtless hockey players for 'research.' He also never blinks an eye when I ask him random sports questions without any context. Thanks for being the best quarantine buddy.
Writing this story in the middle of a pandemic was hard, but also the perfect escape and I hope it brought you, dear reader, even a little bit of joy.
Holdout: A Moo U Hockey Romance Page 22