by Natasha Boyd
“You are.” I laughed.
“You’re laughing. That’s good, no? I expected you to be more protective.”
“I am protective. I’m still going to have him investigated.” I tossed a remaining piece of cucumber that was on the edge of my plate into my mouth.
“Okay.”
“I was joking. I trust your judgment.”
“I don’t. Not in matters of the heart. Not after your father.” She looked back out to sea.
I inhaled deeply through my nose. That was the thing, wasn’t it? One could have all the good judgment and intuition in the world, and be successful in business, but those you chose to give your heart to, who had power to hurt you the most, that was where the Pascale family seemed to have a blind spot.
I was aware of all the dark spaces in my heart. Never more than right now. They’d grown comfortable, those dark spaces. But I suddenly realized, over the last couple of weeks, they’d become like grit in the cracks, broken and irritating. And I definitely wanted to brush them out of the way and let the light in. Looking at my mother, noticing the glow I’d missed when I arrived today, it looked as though she was living again.
I wondered how that felt.
I wondered if I’d ever feel brave enough to try it.
Dauphine came running across the grass to the stone patio, Josie trailing behind her. She’d been smiling at something Dauphine said, but it slipped a bit on seeing me. She refocused on my mother instead. God, why did I feel so shitty about her?
“You have a beautiful home,” Josephine addressed my mother. “Belle Epoque Architecture?”
“That’s right. Built in the 1880s. You like history?”
“I do. And architecture, of course.”
“Josie is an architect!” Dauphine said with pride.
My mother looked at me, her eyebrows raised again before turning back to our visitor. “My goodness! My son didn’t tell me.”
“No,” Josephine said, her eyes trained solely on my mother. “I don’t suppose he did. I’ve been qualified for several years now. Some of my favorite courses in college were the architectural influences in this part of France. I also have some French heritage. It’s always been on my list to come here in person.”
“Well, I know you’re headed home but hopefully you were able to see some of the architecture along the coast. It spans from before Roman times.”
“Um, no. I wasn’t able to see that much actually. Not up close anyway.” Her eyes flicked to mine briefly. “I’ll have to plan a trip here some other time.”
“What? Have you been a prisoner on that boat?” my mother admonished.
She’s the fucking nanny, I wanted to protest. That’s where her job is. Was. Whatever.
Josephine gave a small, tight laugh. And while I knew I wasn’t required to provide day trips and excursions for people I hired to look after my daughter, I was suddenly filled with guilt and remorse. Which felt like just about the stupidest thing ever. My mother was leading Josie to the table to sit and motioning for Astrid to bring us coffee after she’d cleared the table. “So,” she was saying, “how does an architect find herself working as a nanny for my grumpy son?”
“Excuse me,” I said. “I have to check in with Evan and make a few calls.” I leaned down and kissed my mother on the cheek and turned my back, striding toward the patio doors that led inside. I didn’t need to sit there while I was needled passive aggressively by my own mother. “Do you have to leave right away?” I heard her ask Josie. “Perhaps you could stay in the area a few more days. You know I’m on several preservation committees, and I can point you toward some wonderful areas to visit.”
A few days? She was here for one more night. That was it. The sooner she left, the sooner I could forget the feel of her under my hands and get her out of my head.
“Fuck,” I muttered as I entered the cool interior of the house, my shoes squeaking slightly on the marble floor.
“Was just coming to find you,” said Evan, rounding the corner. “Should have just followed the cursing. What’s up your bum?”
“I hate that expression.”
“I know. That’s why I use it.”
“Are you seriously telling me you couldn’t figure out a way to get her to Paris for her flight? We have a helicopter for fuck’s sake.”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t ask me that. You insult me.”
I blew out a breath and scrubbed my face. “Sorry. But she must have felt like shit having to come here and face me after … after …”
Evan cocked his head sideways. “After she found out you wanted to have her replaced, against my advice by the way? Or after what happened last night at the club?”
My head whipped up and I narrowed my eyes. “What about last night? What did she tell you?”
He raised his palm and smirked. “Jeez. Calm down. I was guessing. She didn’t tell me anything. But you just did.”
“Nothing happened.”
“Right.”
“It didn’t,” I insisted. Not really. Except it did, didn’t it? She fell apart under my hands, and the memory of it even now made my legs weak. “Anyway, it’s none of your business.”
“But you wanted something more to happen?”
“Evan. I know you’re my friend and I tell you a lot of shit. But if you don’t stop talking right now, we’re going to have to explain to my mother why your teeth are on the floor.”
He reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll take my chances. You have a few days. Even if I can get her to Paris, I can’t get her on a flight until Thursday at least. Maybe you’ll change your mind by then.”
“Thursday?” My stomach flipped. That was four nights of having her close without Dauphine as a buffer. “She can stay here. Or on the boat and I can stay here, or a hotel in Nice, or—”
“That bad, huh?”
I was being ridiculous. Seriously, what was I going to do? Barge into her cabin like a caveman and ravish her because I couldn’t control myself? No. I wasn’t a beast. At least, not normally. But also, she closed that door on me last night before we had a chance to talk about what happened. That told me there was little chance she’d give me another chance. Yes, she was beautiful and sweet with my daughter, and smart, and fun. So were a lot of people. I could handle a few days, just she and I if she stayed on the boat. I’d probably hardly ever see her either. I had work to do, same as always. She could eat with the crew. I’d have meals on shore. In fact, she could go and do her architectural sightseeing or whatever during the day. “Whatever,” I said and shrugged. “It’s no big deal. So she stays until Thursday. And maybe we should get her to Paris by Wednesday so there’s no problem getting her to her flight.”
One less night with her on the boat.
“How very thoughtful of you,” Evan deadpanned.
I lifted my shoulders again with casual nonchalance, though the tightening of my insides told me I was trying to fool myself as well as Evan. “All right then,” I said. “Let’s go say goodbye to Dauphine and pick up the stowaway.”
I turned toward the exit, and Evan stopped me, a hand on my arm. “X, wait. You deserve some happiness. Or at least some good sex. Not one of us will judge you for it.”
“I don’t need your permission,” I snapped and shrugged him off. He put his palms up and continued walking.
But there was no way to lie to myself. The idea of being alone with Josephine Marin on a boat, with the tension between us, was making me feel all sorts of things again. Physical things. Things I’d long denied myself. Now that it was decided she was staying an extra few days, a thrill pricked at me—that little tingle I got when I could tell I was on to something at work that was going to be a game-changer. A challenge that would be worth it. Maybe Evan was right. Maybe I did just need to get laid. Josie was no longer working for me, so I could mentally cross that off my list of reservations. If, if, we had a fling it would have a built-in expiration date, which was about the only way I could contempla
te it.
And the chemistry between us told me it was going to be good.
Oh so, so good.
I stepped back as Evan opened the patio door and discreetly adjusted myself. Okay. I took a breath. I was going to do this. If she still wanted me, that was. My heart thundered with terror.
We walked outside, and I shaded my eyes in the afternoon sun.
“Great news,” my mother called. “Since you no longer need her on the boat, Josephine is going to stay here with me for a few weeks and help me with my foundation work. Isn’t that wonderful? You don’t mind, do you?”
Chapter Thirty-One
JOSIE
Xavier Pascale had mastered the art of keeping his face expressionless, so I had no idea what effect his mother’s pronouncement had on him. If any.
Dauphine came back to the table from throwing some leftover bread to the seagulls over the balustrade just in time to hear Madame Pascale’s pronouncement. “You will stay with me here?” she asked me, her eyes big and round. “But why you will not come back on the boat? Now you will stay here in France and not be with me?” Her tone told me she found this incomprehensible. Her eyes grew watery, her chin wobbling. “Papa told me he likes you very much. So now you do not have to go.”
“Um, I …” I looked helplessly toward Xavier.
Say something, I wanted to yell at him.
“Perhaps we’ll share Josephine,” Madame Pascale soothed her granddaughter. “She can help me and help your papa? Besides, I will be in and out of town.” She looked at her son, and I glanced between them. Evan, of course, was biting back a grin. It was as if he found Xavier’s predicament funny.
God, this was torture. I’d started the day off feeling like I wasn’t wanted at all. It wasn’t like he’d come and knocked on my door last night. Nor even called when he’d found out I left with Evan. Talk about a knock to my ego. And now I had the distinct feeling they were fighting over me, and Xavier Pascale had suddenly been outmaneuvered by his mother, which didn’t make any sense.
He didn’t want me to stay.
Did he?
The idea of being able to stay a few weeks in this gorgeous home and explore and learn about the local architecture of the region was sorely tempting and a lovely consolation prize. Added to which it would mean I still got to see Dauphine a while longer before heading home. Madame and I had had a wonderful discussion, and she was full of information I wanted to mine. She seemed to find me equally enchanting.
Also a sad truth? If Xavier wanted me back on his boat, and in his proximity, there was about a zero percent chance I’d say no. Which made me rather pathetic.
Xavier Pascale cleared his throat and seemed to come to his senses. He turned and had a quiet conference with Evan, which left Evan looking bemused.
“Dauphine, you enjoy a few days with your grand-mère,” Xavier said, turning back to us. “I have business to attend to in Corsica tomorrow. I was going to suggest that Josephine may want to come along to view the architecture since she has a few days free, and then I’d bring her back the day after tomorrow.”
I opened my mouth then closed it.
Evan had his head cocked to the side, looking at his boss but quickly shook it off. “Yes,” he suddenly said and turned to me. “Andrea told me you had read up on Corsican architecture, and I was just coming out to tell you we can’t get you on a flight until Thursday. It seems like a good idea.”
“Well, you can rebook that flight for a few weeks’ time,” Madame Pascale said. “Better yet, just leave it open.” Then she turned to me. “I wish I could accompany you and be a tour guide. But please feel free to return here after your trip and be my guest, unless you’ll be staying on with Xavier and Dauphine.” She smiled. But it was the kind of gleeful smile that had me digging my teeth into my lip with suspicion. Go to Corsica with Xavier on the boat? Without Dauphine as a buffer? Or as a reason to even be there?
“Pouah!” said Dauphine with her nose turned up. “It takes so long to get there. I’m glad I get to stay here with Mémé.” She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I will miss you!”
Xavier sat next to his mother and leaned in to tell her something.
I ran my hand up Dauphine’s back and returned her embrace. “Me too, sweetheart.” When Dauphine pulled away, I looked up at Evan. “Sure. Tagging along to see Corsica sounds great. And thoughtful. I appreciate you including me.”
Evan looked awkwardly at Xavier, then smiled thinly. “No problem. Well, you should get going if you’re going to get there by dinner. Paco is all fueled and ready to go. I’m sure he wants to get ahead of the fog that’s predicted here for tomorrow.”
“We’re heading there now?”
“Xavier has an appointment in Calvi tomorrow.”
“Oh, ah, of course.” I turned to Dauphine. “You have fun, little mermaid. I’ll see you when I get back.”
“When will that be?” Madame Pascale shaded her eyes as she asked her son.
“We’ll probably spend tomorrow night there and head back the day after, and then I have business in Cannes.” I knew Cannes, where the famous film festival happened every year, was between where we were now and St Tropez. I was dying to see it.
Madame proceeded to give me a list of places to see both in Calvi and in Cannes, including the infamous Carlton Hotel. “You know it is rumored that was where Grace Kelly met Prince Rainier of Monaco? Such a romantic and tragic tale.” She placed a hand on her chest.
“Okay, Mother,” said Pascale after a bit. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
I bit my lip. “Um. Madame, would you mind terribly if we swapped contact information in case I have questions and need more advice about where to go and what to see?”
Madame Pascale beamed. “Bien sûr! Of course.”
A few minutes later after saying our goodbyes to Xavier’s mother and daughter, Evan and Xavier helped carry my bags down the cliff stairs to the tender. I wasn’t sure how I felt about being on that tiny boat with my suitcases. It seemed a bit precarious.
“Your mother is absolutely charming, I love her,” I told my ex-boss in an attempt to make conversation and keep my mind off the idea of potentially capsizing. My anxiety had spiked, and it probably wasn’t a hundred percent due to worrying about falling overboard, and instead to do with this strange turn of events.
“You sound surprised,” he said as he handed my bags down into the boat.
“Have you met you?” It was out before I could check myself.
Evan barked a laugh at his boss’ expense that echoed across the rocky cliff and bounced back at us off the water. “Sorry,” he apologized quickly.
Xavier gave Evan a glare and said something rapidly in French, to which Evan smirked and shrugged, then stepped carefully into the tender. Evan handed me down, and Xavier held out his hand for my other. I grasped it—warm and firm—then stepped gingerly into the shallow vessel.
“I’ll see you in a couple of days.” Evan gave a salute, then set off up the stairs, grinning.
“Wait. You’re not coming?” I called after him.
“He has business to attend for me,” Xavier said, his mouth straightened with concentration as he pulled the choke on the tender.
“Oh. Okay. So, you don’t need a bodyguard in Corsica?” I asked skeptically.
He raised an eyebrow and gunned the engine. “It’s an unplanned visit.”
“But didn’t you say you had a lunch meeting? How is that unplanned?” I raised my voice to be heard.
“You ask a lot of questions.”
I texted Andrea. Don’t be surprised. I’m headed back to the boat.
The afternoon sun was warm on my bare arms and simple white t-shirt. Though the water was slightly rough. A wind had picked up. I slipped my sunglasses over my eyes and focused on our traverse across the water, holding tight to the plastic handles on the tender sides.
Another yacht was in the small bay. A hulking gray monolith that could be military looking if not for the spac
ecraft-style design elements of curves and reflective glass and the two bikini-clad girls dancing to unheard music on the sun deck. A Russian flag flew from the aft deck. I glanced toward Xavier to see if he’d noticed, but he looked directly ahead to our destination.
“I’m confused,” I blurted, trying to be heard over the wind.
“What about?” He steered toward the stern of our anchored boat.
“Your change of heart. I’d have thought you’d have been glad to be rid of me. You almost were. What changed?”
He slowed the engine and pointed at the rope coiled by my feet. I’d seen him and Evan do this enough times that I knew he needed me to grab the cleat of the swim deck and tie us on when we neared.
I grabbed the rope and focused on getting us secured. “I mean, I know Evan thought it would be nice for me to see Corsica, but you didn’t need to go along with it.”
“It was my idea. Not his.”
My head snapped up to his, but I could read nothing behind his sunglasses.
“Josie! You’re back.” Paco came down the steps, effectively ending the chance of getting any kind of elaboration to that odd statement.
I returned the captain’s grin because it was impossible not to. “Captain Paco. The fates didn’t want me to leave today. There was a strike and I couldn’t get the train.”
“I heard.” Paco took my baggage up to the steps, and Rod grabbed it and took it inside. I stood in the breeze on the main deck as Paco and Xavier stowed the tender. Above us, on the cliff, I searched out the balustrade of Madame Pascale’s home and saw her and Dauphine standing at the railing, looking tiny from this distance. I waved. They waved back.
Xavier soon joined me, and we stood silently next to each other as the engine turned over and Paco pulled the anchor, then maneuvered us out of the bay. A cool wind had picked up, and goosebumps erupted over my bare arms. Or perhaps it was standing next to this man.
He made a soft throat clearing as if he was about to speak. When nothing came, I turned to him, waiting, as he looked out over the water.
“I don’t know what I am to you right now,” I began. “I mean, are you still my boss? Am I your guest?”