by R. D. Brady
He scrambled for the top of the cylinder, but it was locked. He was trapped. He was …
He burst straight up with a scream, his heart pounding. He reached out to the wall for support. Cool tile met his touch. He jerked his hand back as if burned.
Miles opened his eyes and groaned. His lungs still ached from yesterday. At least, he thought it was yesterday. There were no windows, no indication of time passing. Initially, after the skirmish with Anixquold, the pain had receded. But that had been adrenaline. It had returned with a vengeance when he’d gotten back to his cell.
He’d slept, though, his body all but shutting down on him. And being as the ache was less, he knew it had been hours. He pushed himself up. He was in his cell again. It was stark: smooth metal walls, floors, and ceiling. Small dots of lights pierced the ceiling, giving off a dull glow.
Swinging his legs around, he sat on the edge of the hard bench and dropped his head into his hands. The dream had been so real. Lyla had been so real. Was she all right? Had they found them? Would he even know? Would they bother to tell him if they killed his whole family? A tremor worked its way from his fingers through his whole body. His breaths came out in shudders. What if they were all dead? What if no one was left?
He gulped, trying to get some oxygen into his lungs as his heart raced, but there was no air to be found.
They turned off the air.
He crumpled to the floor. His already aching lungs ached even more with each breath he couldn’t take. He curled up, pulling his legs to his chest.
Breathe, Miles, Breathe, Petra yelled at him from the corner of his mind.
Tears rolled down his cheeks. I can’t. There’s no air.
There is. It’s all in your mind. Now breathe, God damn it!
Miles opened his mouth, and air rushed in. He gulped more breaths, closing his eyes. A panic attack. He lay on the floor, his entire body feeling so incredibly weak. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to even raise his head, never mind his fists, if they came for him right now. He crushed his eyes shut. I need to be stronger than this.
He knew it was true, but right now, at this moment, that seemed completely impossible. He wasn’t strong. Lyla was strong. Riley was strong. Petra was strong, as were all the other Phoenixes. But Miles? He was the smart one, not the strong one.
He pictured the cylinder, the water pouring in. I can’t go through that again.
30
Xantar watched the recording of the subject. He frowned, not understanding what he was seeing. The subject was on the ground as if he was being attacked. And yet there was nothing there. Aek could not understand it either.
The doors behind him slid open. “Esteemed Leader, how may I be of assistance?”
Xantar turned his glider as the human liaison Alan crossed the room to him. Watch.
Xantar replayed the scene.
Alan watched the subject silently. Pausing the recording after a few minutes, Xantar studied the human. What is happening to him?
“Ah, yes, I do not believe your people suffer from such an affliction. He is suffering a panic attack.”
I am not familiar with the term. Explain.
Alan pursed his lips. “Some humans are at times overwhelmed by the thoughts and emotions that they experience. For some, it results in the inability to breathe until the panic has passed.”
That makes no sense. Panic is sudden fear. There is nothing for him to fear at the moment.
“At the moment of the panic attack, no. But humans often replay traumatic incidents in their lives and essentially relive them. They also imagine future traumatic incidents. And when they do, they experience the fear of those moments as if they were happening right then.”
That is illogical. If it is not happening, then it is not a threat.
Alan shrugged. “Human emotions are complicated. Unlike the more advanced Naku, we do not live exclusively in the now. People bring their memories with them through their current moments and often project what will happen to them in the future.”
Xantar struggled to understand such a mindset. What was past was past, and the future was a concept that was never realized. All that mattered was the moment they were in. It was that understanding which allowed the Naku to work as one people without relationships interfering. Anything else was simply an inefficient use of cognitive power.
He studied the subject frozen on the screen. Despite his obvious physical limitation, he was a strong subject. He had defeated the avad opponent in each simulation. The power of those moments was impressive.
Yet he had such weaknesses. Not just his physical limitation, which he actually overcame quite significantly, even without his abilities, but when he was offered the opportunity to rid himself of his threat, he would not kill. That was a weakness.
Xantar peered at the screen. But if he could find a way to turn the Cursed, to get them to work for him, then the Unwelcome would not be needed. One Cursed would be as effective as four Unwelcome and would not require either medical interventions or training.
But he would need to remove their moral code. Xantar turned to the liaison. I need your aid in another project.
Alan bowed deeply. “I would be most honored. May I inquire as to the nature of the project?”
I need you to show me how to get humans to kill.
31
Once the idea of finding out more about Ta’Chiko took root, Lyla could not get it out of her mind. She knew part of it was her being in denial about the chances of retrieving Miles. She was clinging to the distraction to avoid facing reality. She knew that. But right now, that was a blessing, because facing reality was going to hurt.
A lot.
At the same time, she knew the likelihood of a grave decades old having any sort of relevance for them today was incredibly low. But she needed to step away from the Gatsby. She needed to step away from the concerned looks and prying eyes. She needed to breathe. And she didn’t feel like she could do it here.
So less than an hour after she finished speaking with Frank, she was in the veerfinah with Arthur, skimming through the sky. She sat in the copilot’s chair, staring out the glass windows. The sky was a bright blue with just a few white clouds. The sun was shining brightly, and below them the land was a mix of greens and browns.
It was a beautiful day.
She felt her heart rate slow and her breaths come more easily. She needed this. She needed to step back. While she was sure this was a fool’s errand, at least it seemed as if it might clear her mind. Which meant that when she returned, maybe she could come up with another solution for getting Miles back … if there was one.
Arthur sat quietly at the controls. He hadn’t pushed her to say how she was feeling or explain why she’d holed herself up in her room for a full day. Instead he’d just been a constant, steady, comforting presence.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Do you ever feel like shutting yourself off? Like escaping everything and just burying your head?”
Arthur paused for a moment, seeming to ponder the question before he spoke. “No. Not since I woke up. But for me, it’s different. You’ve had people around you your whole life. You express your emotions. You’ve felt your emotions your whole life. For me, all of that is new. I crave being around people. When I went back to New City after the dispensary, it wasn’t the duties that were difficult. It wasn’t being on the ship or seeing the Naku that was difficult. It was the fact that I was invisible. I was easily interchangeable with any other chelvah. I spoke with no one. No one spoke with me. I was surrounded by my people, and yet I was completely alone. So no, I haven’t ever wanted to shut myself away. But I understand why you did.”
“You do?”
He nodded. “You’ve been a leader of your people for years, long before it became official when Frank stepped aside. People look to you to tell them what to do, to show them the safe path. And you’ve been there to do that for them. But with Miles, you’re unsteady. Your family is your bedrock. And with one piece o
f that bedrock missing, you can’t stand as stable as you once did. I don’t think you even realized how much you counted on them to keep you strong.”
Realization jolted through Lyla. He was right. She never thought about it in those terms. She knew that protecting her family was always at the back of her mind, no matter what she was doing or what she was engaged in, but she hadn’t realized how much they strengthened her. Egotistically, she’d always thought that she was the strength in their family. But she wasn’t, not completely. And having Miles in danger and not being able to save him had shaken her to her core.
“I think that’s true, but there’s even more than that. I’ve always known that I would do whatever it took to keep those three safe. I would sacrifice my life in a second if it meant saving them. But Miles was taken, and there was nothing I could do. I was helpless. Powerless. With everything we’ve gone through, I’m always been able to figure an angle to keep somebody or something safe. But there was no angle this time. There was nothing I could do but watch him get taken into that ship.”
Arthur watched her from the corner of his eye. “You have raised three incredible children. They are all strong. Miles is strong, stronger than even he knows. When I first saw him, he was risking his life to save Dixie’s. I could tell he was having trouble figuring out where to hide her. It was difficult for him to carry her.
“But he never contemplated leaving her behind. He might have doubted his own survival. But everything in him told him he would find a way to make sure Dixie lived. You brought that out in him. That strength is there. He’ll hold on until we can get to him.”
“Do you think we will? Get to him, I mean?”
Arthur didn’t hesitate in his response. “I have no doubt.”
His words held no uncertainty. He really didn’t doubt they would find a way. He didn’t doubt Lyla would find a way. And his certainty bolstered a little of that bedrock that had come undone with Miles’s abduction.
Lyla looked out the window once again, noticing that they had started to descend. “How close are we?”
“It should only be another few minutes.”
A crash sounded from the back of the veerfinah. Lyla’s head jerked back, her eyes narrowing.
“Lyla?”
She knew what he was asking. She shook her head. “Stay on course. I’ll check it out.”
Lyla grabbed the romag that she’d placed on the ground next to her chair before heading out into the body of the veerfinah. Beyond the cockpit, there was a small hallway, and then beyond that the chairs where the passengers would sit.
She wasn’t sure what the sound had been. It sounded like some sort of panel falling. It was possible that it had fallen with the movement of the veerfinah. But the hair on the back of her neck told her that someone was on the ship with them.
She hadn’t checked the ship when they left—an oversight on her part. She mistakenly thought that they were safe being that it was in the stables and that there were people always milling about.
She walked silently toward the back, checking each row as she passed. Beyond the chairs, a metal panel lay on the ground. She peered into the space behind it. It was some sort of maintenance closet. Big enough for a person to hide. She turned around, scanning the ship.
“Come out. Whoever’s here, come out right now.”
A small blue face peeked out from the edge of the rows. Lyla jolted. “What are you doing here?”
The second face that popped out answered with a wince. “Hi, Mom.”
32
With great reverence, Alan reached for the deep purple velvet robe. He’d carefully placed his liaison robe in the closet last night after inspecting it to make sure that there were no specks of dirt. He ran his hands over the soft fabric, closing his eyes and picturing the Esteemed Leader.
Alan had never imagined in his life that he would be in the presence of such greatness. The Naku had come to this devastated world and had helped rebuild it from the ashes. Without the Naku, humans would have been extinct long ago. But the Naku, they had given them a purpose, they had given them life, they had given them the tools to survive.
Alan slipped the robe over his shoulders, carefully tying the belt and running his hands over the fabric to remove any creases. He stepped to the mirror and inspected his reflection. Dark-brown hair, deep, wide eyes of almost the same color, the beginning of wrinkles around the edges of his eyes and lips.
Sometime in the last couple of years, he had slowly been turning into his father, who had died three years ago. He wondered what he would think about his son now and the role that he had taken on. And the fact that the Esteemed Leader had asked for his help with a problem.
A soft knock sounded at the door. “Come in.”
The door opened. Susanna, dressed in the McGovern yellow robes, walked in with a tray. She bowed her head as she caught Alan’s eye. “Brother Williams, I have brought you your breakfast.”
Alan waved to the small table in the corner. “You may place it there.”
Susanna ducked her head even lower and quickly hustled over to the table. She placed the tray down and then carefully removed the plate and saucer, placing them on the tabletop. Arranging the napkin next to the plate, she picked up the tray once again. “Is there anything else you require?”
“No, no. That will be all.”
Susanna moved quickly for the door, giving Alan one last quick curtsy before disappearing through the doorway and closing the door after her.
Alan resumed his inspection of himself in the mirror. He tucked a stray hair back behind his ear. He tilted his head to the side and then the other to examine his face completely. Finally satisfied, he stepped back with a nod. He walked to the table and took his seat, carefully folding his napkin along his lap.
The Naku wanted his help with breaking the subject they were keeping on the ship. He knew the subject was somehow related to the other subject, the woman who had escaped the research building not that long ago. He shook his head as he took his first bite of eggs. The subject should be honored that the Naku was taking such an interest in him. And yet he refused to do as the Naku wanted.
But Alan knew that there was always a way to get to these ones. He did not enjoy the cruelty that he would have to inflict, but to save the individual’s soul, for them to understand that the Naku were the gods come to life, he would do what was necessary. He would break the young man.
And now, after reviewing the information the Naku had on the subject, he knew exactly how he was going to do it.
33
The two stowaways crawled out from their hiding spot. Little Thor toddled toward Lyla, a big grin on his face. Maisy followed him at a slower pace, no grin in sight.
Thor reached Lyla’s legs and reached up toward her. She reached down and picked him up, holding him in her arms as she ran her finger down his nose. “You are not supposed to be here, young man.”
He gave her a goofy grin, babbling some incoherent response before tucking his thumb into his mouth and leaning his head on her shoulder.
Maisy stopped about three feet away from Lyla. “I’m sorry. I was watching him, and then I took my eyes off for a minute and he slipped into the stables. Before I knew it, he was climbing onto the veerfinah. I climbed on after him, and then the door shut behind us. I didn’t even realize you guys were going anywhere. How come you didn’t tell me you were going anywhere?”
“Yeah, nice try at changing the subject. Why didn’t you tell us as soon as you felt the veerfinah take off?”
Maisy ran her shoe over the carpet, not meeting Lyla’s gaze. “I thought maybe you were going somewhere to get Miles and that maybe I could help somehow.”
Lyla sighed. “Oh, honey. You should have told me. And no, we’re not going to get Miles.”
Maisy nodded, her chin wobbling. Lyla’s heart ached at her crestfallen expression. She opened up her other arm. “Come here.”
Maisy raced to her, throwing her own arms around Lyla’s waist. “I mis
s him.”
Lyla rested her chin on Maisy’s head. “I know. I do too.”
“If you’re not going to get Miles, where are you going?”
Little Thor reached out and patted the top of Maisy’s head with his chubby little hand.
Lyla smiled at the ease of the gesture. Little Thor had taken to Maisy like a duck to water and vice versa. Blue skin meant nothing to either of them.
“Frank reminded me of something that my dad said a long time ago, so we’re going back to the cottage where I lived when I was very young to see if maybe there something there that might help us.”
“What is it?”
Lyla contemplated telling her. But even as she ran through the words in her mind, she realized how far-fetched they sounded. So instead she kissed Maisy on the forehead. “It’s probably nothing. But it’ll give me a chance to see my old home. And get away from everything at the camp for a little bit.”
“So can we come with you?”
“Well, we’re about to land in ten minutes, and it’ll take us another two hours if we go back to the camp and drop you off and then return again, so I guess you’re going with us.”
Maisy gave a little squeal.
“You will do everything I say.” Lyla looked at Little Thor, who watched her with sleepy eyes. “You too, little man.”
“Absolutely, everything you say,” Maisy said quickly.
Lyla shook her head but couldn’t keep the smile from her face. “I mean it, Maisy. And you’ll have to stay on the veerfinah with Arthur when we land while I go check everything out.”