The Underdogs Box Set - Books 1-3 (gay rockstar romance)

by K. A. Merikan

  Asher nuzzled Sid’s ear gently, putting the photos back into the box once he looked through them all. “There were days when this really kept me going. I want to give the same thing to you.”

  Sid stared back at him, choked up and overcome by a wave of emotion that threatened to pull him off the ground, along with the roots that he managed to grow into his chosen lifestyle.

  Asher cupped his cheeks and ground his hips against Sid. His dick was already stiffening next to Sid’s flesh, hot and hard as it grew in response to the touch. It was as if Asher’s scent had suddenly become more intense too, sneaking its way around him like physical touch.

  Asher caught Sid’s gaze again, his eyes glinting with an intensity that could have physically set Sid on fire. “I don’t want this to end once the tour starts.”

  The relief flooding Sid’s body was like an orgasm in itself. So he didn’t have to ask. “Me neither,” he whispered eagerly. “I’ve been meaning to say that, but we don’t have a new bus yet, and I wasn’t sure…” He wrapped his arms around Asher, feeling as fragile as a bird. He’d always considered himself strong, with unbreakable walls around himself, and yet Asher had somehow sneaked into his heart without breaking him down.

  Asher smiled back at him, but it was different from the handsome expressions he shared with the whole world. It was as if all the tension had melted away from around his eyes and mouth, leaving him looking younger, like the eighteen-year-old eager to have sex for the first time, whom Sid had met seven years ago. “Then that’s what we’re gonna do. You like my company. Why would I go, right?”

  “Exactly. I don’t even know anymore why I stressed out about it so much.” Sid grinned back and gave him another kiss, more elated by the second. “Let’s do this. You give me everything I need.”

  Asher’s breath caught, and he watched Sid for several seconds, suspended in the air as if time moved in slow motion. For the briefest moment it seemed that a shadow passed over the handsome face, but then Asher dove to the bedside table and returned with lube. His fingers entered Sid fast, cold and slick yet they were not enough, not quite what Sid needed.

  Sid groaned, encouraging Asher in whispers, telling him just how much he wanted to be close. The kisses got more heated, teeth biting at tongues, lips nipping skin, but when Sid begged for more than fingers, Asher hesitated, even though he was flushed and jittery.

  “Gonna get the rubbers,” he whispered, pulling away.

  “No,” Sid grabbed his arm. “Can we do bare?” His face flushed when he said it, but he caught Asher’s gaze and wouldn’t let go. “I only have you.”

  Hesitation only lasted half a second. Asher pushed up Sid’s thighs, again dragging Sid’s ass over the covers in the process, but the discomfort only enhanced the dull need inside Sid. Grabbing at each other, they connected in a fierce kiss, and by the time Asher plunged his way inside, Sid wasn’t even certain if they remained horizontal. His head spun as he clung to his lover, carried on the waves of relief, and pleasure, and feelings he never thought he’d develop.

  He’d spent years behind his walls only to now realize he should have been more open to Asher. But there was no use pondering the past. Maybe he just hadn’t been ready. Maybe he’d needed to grow into this.

  Sid hugged Asher tightly, giving up his body to the fucking, and he couldn’t wait to be filled with Asher’s spunk. His nipple throbbed around the fresh piercing, and that was how his whole body felt. Aching, but accepting of the new presence inside that would never be replaced.

  Breath was a precious commodity as they moved together, sharing the same oxygen until they both became lightheaded, moving rapidly in the sheets. The continuous thrusting had Sid curling his toes and holding on, as if he’d drown in the mattress and die without Asher’s arms around him.

  The orgasm came when Asher pressed his fingers hard into Sid’s bruised and battered ass, reminding him who smacked Sid with a whip before and left that mark. The sensation made Sid fall apart in Asher’s arms. Coming. Crying. Babbling a mix of unintelligible dirty sweetness. Asher finishing inside his body was just the cherry on top Sid needed.

  Still floating on the calm waves after the storm, he curled his limbs around Asher, keeping him close on top, so that he could feel the entire weight of his lover’s solid form. Ragged breathing accompanied the laziness of afterglow like the sweetest music, but it was when Asher turned his head to bite into Sid’s neck that the spell was broken.

  Laughter filled the bedroom with its warm, pleasant tone, and Sid stretched out, so completely relaxed that his muscles felt like overcooked noodles.

  He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this…happy. Nothing would go wrong now. They would go on tour, do their thing, hang out with friends, and care for each other.

  Shit. That meant he needed to get Asher something for Christmas. And birthdays. When was Asher’s birthday?

  He’d find out.

  All would be fine.

  Chapter 15

  The crowd of fans surrounding the tour bus was the last thing Sid needed on the launch morning of the tour. He wasn’t the type of guy who planned everything to a ‘T’ himself, but Lolly and Dusk broke all records with the spontaneous ‘signing’ event they announced on their couple Instagram without telling the rest of the band about it. Granted, the parking lot was mostly empty, so it wasn’t like their fans were blocking anyone’s way, but that would still have been the least of their problems.

  Abra hid in the back of the bus like a shy cat forced into, not only a new environment, but also a crowd of strange people. It made Sid feel so protective he was left to keeping his fists in check, even though he wanted to unleash his anger on everything around him, the fans included.

  Mage was standing next to Dawn as if he were his personal bodyguard, though Sid was surprised Dawn wasn’t hiding away with Abra. Maybe regardless of all the jokes Sid and Dusk were making, Dawn has actually made some progress in terms of his shyness? That didn’t make things any less chaotic though, and despite the ache in his muscles, Sid forced himself to sign a girl’s tour T-shirt. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the attention The Underdogs were getting, since that was what they’d worked so hard for, but he wasn’t exactly a people person. He didn’t want to fall into a fake smiley persona, but didn’t want to be nasty to these fantastic people who loved their music either. At this point, the situation left him confused and just going with the flow.

  They didn’t get a new bus in the end, but it had been decided that Sid would be traveling with Asher and his mobile office of two computers and some other electronics that he needed to effectively work on the go. Sid was so undecided on that one. It was weird to leave his band, miss out on new inside jokes, and not be a part of it all in the same way he used to be, and yet this opportunity to spend even more time with Asher, chatting or listening to music in comfortable silence, made something inside him tingle with heat.

  He looked away when the fan moved on to Dawn and Mage, and his gaze sought out Asher, who winked at him from where he stood next to his car. He shut the trunk and moved Sid’s way casually.

  The butterflies in his stomach wouldn’t give it a rest, and seemed to poke at the freshly pierced nipple from the inside, reminding Sid that he’d let Asher put it in place. He’d let Asher do so many crazy things to him, and had loved every minute of it. They’d been considering mummification lately but decided that wouldn’t be something worth pursuing until they were back at home again. Sid hadn’t even noticed when they’d both started calling Asher’s mansion that, but he didn’t mind one bit. What else could he think of the place where he lived with a man who was ready to go to extreme lengths to make him happy, where he was safe, and nourished, and where even his sister felt at ease?

  “What about you, Sid?” asked a voice that came out of the bubble that only involved him and Asher.

  Sid glanced at the young guy in front of him and reflexively signed a postcard Lolly had designed for their online store. It already had
been autographed by everyone else, most prominently Lolly and Dusk, who seemed to have a couple’s signature now, with a tiny drawing interwoven between the letters.

  “Huh?” Sid zeroed in at the skinny teen with dark circles under his eyes and so much metal on his wrists one could mistake the bracers for weights.

  “Are you single?”

  Sid blinked again. “I er…what?”

  “Come on, some of us really want to know,” asked a girl with pink hair, peeking out from behind the guy with a wild smile. She was flushed and wore what looked like last night’s makeup, so she must have come here straight from some kind of party after seeing “Dully’s” Instagram post. Sid hated to be a disappointment to people so dedicated, but he wasn’t comfortable with private questions either.

  The warm palm sliding across his back struck fire to his skin even through clothes.

  He slid away an inch to let Asher know he didn’t want affection in public. “I’m on a break from…things right now,” he said and winked at them, hoping that they’d make up their own meaning to this answer, because he sure as hell had no idea what he was communicating.

  “Maybe you just need a little rebound,” chattered the girl. “You into girls? Boys? Both?”

  Asher remained uncomfortably close, and Sid didn’t dare look his way, even though his skin tingled where they almost touched. The way some of the gossip-hungry gazes drifted to Asher wasn’t making Sid any more comfortable.

  “Babe, I’m into things that would make your hair bristle.” He grinned and signed another postcard.

  “Hey, you’re that guy from Q-detective, aren’t you?” the skinny boy asked excitedly, pointing at Asher. “Will there be more stuff about The Underdogs coming on the site?”

  Asher let out a brilliant laugh, and his hand rested on Sid’s shoulder. “There’s definitely more to come. Follow the band and follow the site, and maybe soon you’ll find out something you don’t expect.”

  The guy gasped, and his eyes got wide as saucers. “Are Dully getting married?”

  The pink-haired girl looked between Asher and Sid. “Oh my god, they are, aren’t they. Vegas? Will they alert us on time so we can be there?”

  Asher smirked, and his hand squeezed Sid’s shoulder harder. “Something even more interesting.”

  Asher wasn’t outing them, was he? Sid needed to intervene before things got too heated. “My lips are sealed. Maybe go ask Dusk about it?”

  As soon as he said that, he slipped away from under Asher’s hand and started walking toward the Tesla. He hoped Asher would follow, because Sid needed to get a word alone with him.

  The heavy footsteps didn’t offer him much consolation. They hadn’t spoken about this, so what was this teasing?

  “It’s a bit too much for you? All those people?” Asher inquired, catching up with Sid.

  “No, you are being too much. What’s with all the touchy-feely?” he said in a lowered voice, but it came out harsher than he’d wished.

  Asher went quiet, and with Sid looking down, all he saw was the broad chest expanding and relaxing slowly.

  “Touchy-feely?”

  “I mean…it’s different when we’re at a bar or something, but these people here, they’ve all got their phones out, filming everything.”

  “So what?”

  Sid spread his arms in exasperation, still trying to keep it down because of the onlookers. “I’m not ready to be all out there about us. I know no one would mind, and we’ve got fan support, but I’d rather keep it on the down-low. Our friends know, and that’s what matters.”

  Asher’s voice was a hiss. “Does it? You were fine wearing another guy’s collar in the past. Why not hold hands with me?”

  Sid raised his gaze, taken aback. Asher rarely got angry. “I was in a different place back then. And all it ever got me was kicked out of a band and into the gutter. Sorry for not being Mr. Out-There.”

  Asher’s jaw tensed, and he flattened his hand on the roof of the car while keeping the other stuffed into the front pocket of his jeans. He briefly shook his head at someone who tried approaching them and focused his gaze at the crowd instead of Sid. “I don’t think I’m expecting all that much. Unless you intend to drop me in the future without causing a PR disaster, there’s no reason for us to not be out.”

  Sid lowered his voice, unsure of what he’d just heard, and his legs were going numb the more he thought about it. Asher had resources. He knew people. He could, if he wanted to, cause damage to the band. “Is this a threat?”

  Asher jumped when a car beeped at them for blocking its way. He swallowed, sliding to the side. “You think I’d blackmail you?”

  Sid’s face heated up even though he knew Asher wasn’t the kind of person to do that. If he was, he’d have had many opportunities before the two of them had gotten together. “I don’t know. Would you? You’re the one talking about PR disasters.” He wanted to hear a confirmation, because his stomach cramped up just thinking about this one thing he dedicated his life to crumbling under his feet.

  Asher tapped his fingers against the steel roof at an increasing pace, and the tension spiraled up Sid’s body, choking him as if there were a hand around his throat.

  “Sid! Stop wasting time and come over here! We’re doing a group shot!” Dusk yelled from above a crowd of fans.

  Sid groaned and wanted to pat Asher’s arm, but the stubborn guy had shifted. “Don’t make it weird,” he whispered. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

  His chest constricted when he turned away, but it was nothing some distraction couldn’t get rid of. Consciously choosing not to look Asher’s way, as it would only worsen his mood, he quickly joined the group of fans and put his arm around Dawn. For once, the kid decided not to flee the scene, even though he made sure the stiff peak of his baseball cap covered his face in each of the subsequent pictures. It was a huge step for him, and Sid chose to silently congratulate him, even if just to avoid thinking of Asher.

  Snap after snap, Sid took deep breaths to calm down. It had to be leaving their picture-perfect nest that led to this weird outburst with Asher. They’d make some rules about what was okay and what wasn’t when in public, and things would again settle down. He now regretted not discussing this sooner, but he’d had enough stress on his plate without that, as they’d had to finish recording a few new songs before leaving L.A. for the tour.

  He eventually untangled himself from the crowd, relieved that it was Dusk and Lolly who had to deal with most of the attention, and ran behind the bus to hide in the Tesla and maybe smooth out things with Asher.

  But the car was gone.

  Sid looked around in confusion, but neither Asher nor his Tesla were anywhere to be seen.

  Was this Asher throwing a tantrum? Patient, pleasant Asher? Sid couldn’t believe this shit. He rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone, ready to even apologise if Asher was particularly sulky.

  But he followed the onslaught of text messages on his phone, and a sick feeling curled up in his gut. The messages were full of misspellings, but Sid understood them well enough to get goose bumps all over.

  [I need a breather. Go with the guys.]

  [How do you imagine this tour anyway? Do you want me to pretend that I’m just your publicist? The more I think about it the less I like it.]

  [We’re together, and if Dusk and Lolly can be out there with their entire relationship, why can’t you even admit that you’re with someone? Is it because you don’t want anyone suspecting it’s me?]

  [I thought you were serious about this.]

  Sid was serious! That didn’t mean the whole world needed to know. With dread climbing up his back, he read on.

  [I’ve chased you for years, but you’re only really interested in getting what you want from me. You wouldn’t even look at me if I couldn’t spank you as hard as you want.]

  [Are you embarrassed of being with a guy like me? Do I not fit in with your bad boy image, or something?]

  [I love you, but this won’t wor
k.]

  Sid’s eyes went wider and he had to read the message twice for it to sink in. “The fuck?” he whispered to himself.

  [Let’s just finish it now, before things get even more intense. This is already too much for me, and you think I’ll just be there every time you want me, to give you exactly what you want at the moment. What about the things I need? I can’t constantly bend to what you want.]

  [I’m not made of stone. If you want something casual and secret, it can’t be with me. I thought you’d get there, but I can’t wait anymore.]

  Sid’s heart beat like a mad drummer, and he hovered his fingers over the phone to type something back, but as his mind went blank, yet another message came in.

  [Thanks for everything anyway. Have a great tour. Mage can still contact me about the promo. I want you all to succeed, even if we didn’t work out.]

  “No, no, no, no,” Sid whispered, confused as if hit over the head with a baseball bat. This wasn’t possible. Asher couldn’t have…left.

  Since Sid couldn’t work out what to text, he quickly chose Asher’s number and called, but after several rings, Asher just disconnected the call.

  So Sid tried again, only to hear a robotic voice tell him the number could not be reached.

  Did Asher…block him?

  Sid stared at the screen until it went black again, but nothing came to his mind as he read the messages over and over. So this was it? Sid had opened up his chest until his ribs cracked, offered Asher his heart raw and still beating, for Asher to bail at the first hint of inconvenience?

  This was bullshit.

  Sid walked around the bus, relieved to see that at least some of the fans had gone already. “Mage, can I use your phone?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Mage gave him a quizzical glance, but handed over his cell without question.

  Sid climbed into the bus and ushered Abra out of the back so that he could hide in a dark corner himself. He chose Asher’s number.

  The signal tortured him for a while with its dead sound, but the moment Asher picked up, a word-bomb dropped out of Sid. “Are you seriously fucking dumping me over text for not holding your hand? After all we’ve been through? What the fuck is wrong with you? Something doesn’t go your way once, and you bitch-quit on me?!”