The Underdogs Box Set - Books 1-3 (gay rockstar romance)

by K. A. Merikan

  “Maybe tell Mr. Samwell what your inspiration is.”

  Dawn looked up at Mage, pale as a sheet, then back at Samwell. “I…”

  Mage smiled in encouragement.

  “I…” Dawn uttered, making Mage’s insides twist with fear of Samwell misunderstanding Dawn’s shyness for incompetence.

  Dawn’s eyes rolled back and he tipped forward, face first into the coffee table.

  Chapter 9

  He wasn’t normal. He saw that now.

  For years, Dawn had avoided stressful situations by framing his feelings as shyness, but shy people didn’t faint when faced with something important. They would perhaps be a bit awkward, at loss for words, but their bodies didn’t completely shut down.

  He was not normal, and now it reflected back on his friends.

  Dusk rubbed his hands, watching him with a deep frown. “Are you sure you don’t need anything from the pharmacy? That bruise looks pretty bad.”

  Dawn rubbed his forehead, hardly remembering what happened. All he knew was that he woke up in his room with Dusk sitting on the other bed. So he’d not only failed at talking to the big shot producer Mage was so excited about, but had also pulled his brother away from the opportunities the meeting offered.

  “I’m okay,” he mumbled. “Where’s Mage?”

  Dusk poured himself some water from the pitcher on the side table. “He’s talking to Samwell. He and Asher both, and Sid stayed with them too, so maybe they can squeeze something out of this thing. Maybe it’s for the better I don’t get a chance to run my big mouth,” he said, but Dawn saw it in the tension in his shoulders that he’d rather know what was going on upstairs, not guard his little brother’s sickbed.

  “I’m sorry, I tried—”

  “Don’t be. Just tell us you don’t want to go next time. To be honest, I don’t know what Mage was thinking pushing you like that. Maybe start with little things like ordering pizza over the phone instead of overwhelming shit like talking to Terry Samwell. I mean, that’s stressful even for me. This guy could make our career,” he said, pushing back his long, smooth hair.

  Dawn rubbed his hands down his face. “Mage had good intentions. He wants me to be better at socializing. It’s not his fault I’m such a mess.”

  Dusk frowned and leaned forward, brows low over his eyes. “Wait, has he been putting pressure on you over this? I couldn’t believe he actually made you talk down there after being a nanny for so long! Should I have a word with him?”

  Dawn forced himself to sit up despite the dizziness. “No, no! It’s okay. Please, don’t argue with him.” If the deal with Samwell fell through, the last thing Dawn wanted was conflict between Mage and Dusk. “And you always put me up to stuff, too.”

  “Yeah, like getting a driver’s licence, or ordering a sandwich. Not talking to a big-name producer. Mage’s been off lately, so maybe that’s why he couldn’t assess how this might affect you,” Dusk said, chewing his lip.

  Dawn’s anxiety flared up like a wildfire in his chest. “Has he? How did I not notice? What do you mean by ‘off’?” Was it Dawn’s fault?

  Dusk raised his palms defensively. “I’m not hating on your precious Mage, okay? Just sayin’ that he’s been walking with his head in the clouds. Just yesterday, he just sat there with his guitar, staring at it. And later, when Lolly spoke to him, he almost walked into a wall.”

  Dawn bit back a smile and clenched his fingers on the blanket someone had covered him with. Was it because Mage couldn’t stop thinking about him? Was he just as excited and infatuated as Dawn was? Dawn could hardly think about many things, other than cuddling up to Mage and making out for hours. No one had ever made Dawn feel as safe and loved.

  But Dusk was staring at Dawn with eyes shrunk to slits, and Dawn’s heart immediately burst into a gallop.

  “So, you two are always together. Do you want to tell me something?”

  Dawn swallowed, his eyes frozen in an unblinking stare. “Hm?”

  “Come on, Dawn. Is he seeing someone? You know how weird he can be about this stuff. I wouldn’t tease him or anything. Just tell me, okay?”

  For a horrifying moment, Dawn had thought Dusk found out about their secret romance. “No, no, he’s not. But you’ll be the first one to know.” He wasn’t even sure if having a secret from Dusk was a burden, or reason for amusement. For once, something was happening in his life, and it was his own emotions he was working through, not a character’s or a friend’s.

  It felt good.

  As if he’d been a cardboard cut-out and had finally expanded into 3D.

  Someone knocked but didn’t wait for an invitation, and opened the door.

  Dawn’s breath died when he saw a sheen in Mage’s eyes. He came in quietly, closing the door behind him. “How are you feeling?” he asked softly, taking a seat next to Dusk. Dawn didn’t miss the way his hands initially reached out toward him, but they couldn’t touch with Dusk in the room, and all of a sudden it created a tension so heavy it pulled at Dawn’s shoulders.

  Dusk rolled his eyes. “How do you think he’s feeling? His forehead is purple thanks to you. At least he has this to cower behind,” he pointed out Dawn’s baseball cap.

  “It’s okay, really. I’m fine!” Dawn curled his fingers on the blanket so hard his knuckles ached. The last thing he needed was Mage thinking he was made out of porcelain when he was in fact making progress every day. Bit by bit, he was becoming more comfortable with sexuality, and he would hate for it to be ruined by this bump in the road.

  Mage scowled, and his brown eyes slowly transferred to meet Dawn’s gaze. This way, even with another person around, Dawn could feel his warm touch despite the physical distance. “I didn’t think. It’s just that Dawn’s so incredibly talented. I wish more people could see that. I suppose... I lost my head a little bit,” Mage confessed, pinching his nose and shutting his eyes. Dawn knew this gesture by heart. Mage acted like this when he was tired of his contact lenses, when his eyes needed a break, but instead of dealing with it, he chose to sit down and talk to him.

  “Did you get to talk to him?” Dawn asked.

  Dusk nodded. “Yeah, is there any good news? I guess worst case scenario is that we’ve made an impression.”

  Mage briefly hid his face in his hands, but when Dawn was about to spiral down into shame and despair, he smiled. “He is interested. He gave Gulliver the number to his PA.”

  Dusk snorted. “He gave a PA the number of another PA? Love is in the air?” he chuckled, but despite the joke, he had a new kind of glow in his eyes. “I gotta tell Lolly. We’ve got a bet going on Gulliver’s sexuality. I’m saying gay, he’s saying asexual.”

  Dawn groaned. “That’s so childish.”

  Mage shook his head. “I say Gulliver is into vinyl. Now go talk to Lolly. I think I’ll be heading to bed soon,” he said casually, and while Dusk couldn’t know what that meant, Dawn sensed warmth trickling down his back.

  Their eyes met for a second too long, and Dawn was giddy already. Dusk leaving took forever. Every step toward the door was miles long, and when he came back to ruffle Dawn’s hair, Dawn was ready to scream. But he endured it in silence, awaiting the click of the lock. When Dusk left, the snap was loud like a gunshot.

  Dawn took a deep breath. “I kind of expected you’d be there when I woke up. Stupid, I know.”

  Mage stilled, and for endless seconds, Dawn’s unspoken question had been left without an answer. Tiny, cold needles were already pushing into his flesh when Mage sat on his bed and pulled him into the gentlest of hugs. With his ear pressed to Mage’s chest, Dawn could hear his heart beating powerfully in a soothing rhythm.

  “I’m sorry. I wanted to be here, but… this is so important to all of us, and you only fainted. So we made the decision that Dusk would watch you instead. Should I have been here?” he asked, moving his fingers through Dawn’s hair.

  “It’s okay. You came back as soon as you could. I guess it just reminded me how much I depend on you. It mu
st be a burden, I’m sorry.” He hugged Mage tightly, but then crawled out from under the blanket and into Mage’s lap, wrapping his arms around the warm neck.

  Mage’s throat worked as he looked into Dawn’s eyes before gently cupping his face. Out of all the things they could now do together, this gesture was among Dawn’s favorites. His neck was so sensitive, and whenever Mage’s large hands held his head like this, it was like being lovingly cradled.

  “You’re never a burden to me. I’ve made a mistake back there, but it won’t happen again. I swear I won’t make you do anything you don’t want,” Mage said softly, rubbing Dawn’s cheekbones with his thumbs.

  Dawn leaned into Mage’s hands. It was funny how they were almost twice as big as his own. “I am trying. It just got out of hand. I guess, I’ll… try to communicate better if I’m feeling overwhelmed next time. Sometimes, it just comes over me so fast I can’t handle it.” After a moment of hesitation, he wrapped his legs around Mage’s midsection, sitting in his lap, as close as they could be without taking their clothes off.

  But Dawn wanted their clothes off. Was this a right time?

  Mage’s eyes were wide open, locked on Dawn’s gaze as if there was a physical force holding up the connection.

  “I told you. You decide on the pace,” Mage whispered in the end, holding his hands where they were, waiting for a sign.

  Dawn swallowed and leaned in for a kiss. Unlike that time in the hot tub where he’d been overwhelmed by Mage’s excitement and the possibility of someone walking in on them, right now, he felt safe.

  Every time their lips met, a giddy feeling drizzled into his chest. Mage’s mouth was made for kissing, and Dawn indulged in it as often as he could. He wasn’t even nervous about the way the bulge in Mage’s pants stiffened under his ass. He could stop at any time, and Mage wouldn’t hold it against him.

  Mage was patient, and kind, and most of all—his love for Dawn was true. Falling into his arms felt natural, even if some aspects of it scared Dawn. The world was so full of sexuality in all its forms that staying away from this kind of closeness made him feel isolated, but with Mage, nothing seemed too vulgar, too rough, or indecent. Their physical closeness was a far cry from the kind of sex Dawn had once accidentally witnessed Dusk having with one of his girlfriends. He didn’t remember details, and he knew those two were happy with whatever arrangement they’d had at that time, but it had left him with a sense of apprehension about letting anyone so close.

  For years, Dawn hadn’t even believed himself capable of doing the things he secretly fantasized about, but that was before that first kiss with Mage, when everything magically fell into place in his head.

  He tightened his legs around Mage’s waist when they slowly rolled into a horizontal position, but when Dawn rocked his hips up, anticipating intimate touch, Mage squinted again. “Sorry. Those lenses are going to drive me nuts. Just two seconds, okay?” he asked, hanging over Dawn with the expression of a guilt-ridden Golden Retriever.

  Dawn snorted and gave him a little kiss. “Only if you’re quick.”

  Mage pushed his face against Dawn’s neck with a deep inhale but then backed out, all but running to the bathroom. Dawn decided to take the plunge and took off his T-shirt before diving under the covers. They’d touched above the belt so far, but maybe he was ready for more. He was. He was ready for more. Not sure what yet, but he was.

  Seconds stretched forever, but before he could call out for Mage to return, the bathroom door opened, and he strolled in, already barefoot and with his black-rimmed glasses in place. Dawn loved it when Mage had them on his nose. The tidy frames were such a pleasant contrast to the piercings, and the long dreadlocks, that in his mind the mixture expressed who Mage truly was.

  With a white smile, Mage grabbed the hem of his top and pulled it off, tensing his stomach muscles for Dawn’s pleasure.

  Dawn sat up and threw a pillow at Mage. “Stop! It’s too exciting!”

  Mage imitated a villainous laugh and slowly opened his belt as soon as he evaded the soft projectile. “Oh no, have I aroused you?” he asked in that deep, velvety voice that had the power to make Dawn’s dick stiffen with nothing but words. He approached with broad steps and pulled Dawn closer with the belt.

  “Do you want to open my pants?” Mage asked, instantly drawing Dawn’s attention down the muscular chest, to the zipper straining over the hardening cock.

  Dawn took a deep, trembling breath but nodded and reached for Mage’s pants. Sitting there just in his boxers next to his half-naked boyfriend, and about to do things, made him nervous. But in a good way. Mage would never be a threat to him, would never hurt him. He was safe.

  Dawn popped open the button of Mage’s jeans, then tugged the zipper down. “You’re very exciting,” he whispered, looking up at Mage.

  The long dreadlocks rolled down Mage’s shoulder when he leaned toward Dawn, moving his knee to rest between Dawn’s spread thighs. Their gazes were still locked, and the lust hiding in Mage’s expression was slowly but surely taking Dawn’s breath away. There was a question in the air when Mage started sliding down his jeans, and Dawn nodded, hugging him that bit tighter until they both settled under the comforter, almost naked.

  “I love you,” Dawn said into another kiss, letting the words hang between their lips. This wasn’t the first time he’d said it. He’d probably said it at least once a day since they’d gotten together, yet he still couldn’t get enough of how good it felt.

  Dawn ran his fingers up Mage’s pecs with a sigh. How did he find himself in bed with such a hunk? He pushed closer, feeling bold about the way he pressed his leg between Mage’s, entangling their bodies.

  Mage’s lips stretched, and he pressed them to Dawn’s forehead before lowering his body farther, until their chests were barely touching, yet the friction created by movement still set Dawn’s nerves on fire. “I’ll listen to you next time. Slow progress from now on.”

  Dawn took his time with Mage’s lips, while caressing his sides. It was such a relief after all the years of suppressing his desire. Here he was, allowed to touch the man of his dreams.

  “Would it be okay if I touched you… more? But I can’t promise what will happen. I might not be ready to go through with everything.”

  Mage gave a raspy laugh. “I’m pretty sure you won’t surprise me. Go ahead, lovely, lovely Dawn,” he whispered, kissing Dawn into the pillow. His body radiated a fragrant warmth that Dawn got drunk on every single time they were intimate. There was something addictive about it, something Dawn had never sensed from anyone else. It was almost as if their bodies had been made to be complementary, despite their size difference.

  Dawn laughed. “How can you bear to be with me? You’re so experienced in comparison.” His fingers trembled, but he felt at ease when sliding them under the waistband of Mage’s boxers and pulling them lower. He had to take a deep breath to calm himself before looking between their bodies.

  Mage stilled, and his breath caught when the dark, beautiful cock sprang free, slapping Dawn’s fingers. “Oh, believe me, I’m fine. In fact, I’m getting way more pleasure than I’ve had in all of this past year.”

  “Because of me?”

  Dawn hadn’t intended to grasp Mage’s cock, but it was so close, and the gesture felt so natural that he just did it. It pulsed under his touch, thick, hard, and alive with need. Dawn had known he was gay very early in his life, but being with Mage was about much more than being with a man. This was someone he cared for, someone he wanted to connect with and give pleasure to.

  Mage’s lips opened, already swollen from kissing, but it was the sound they made that urged Dawn to gently move his hand over Mage’s dick. “Yes. That feels good. Nobody else ever made me so hot,” Mage whispered, pressing his forehead to Dawn’s. His stare was intense, but at this point Dawn’s attention was on the cock rapidly hardening in his grip.

  “Um, I… I might not be so good at this just yet,” he said with a smile, still shocked by what they w
ere doing, but each time he slid his hand over that beautiful cock, his own hardened from the excitement of it. Maybe he wasn’t a failure. Maybe he simply had to take his time before he could become the partner Mage needed.

  Mage cocked his head and licked the tip of Dawn’s nose, with a wide smile. His hands slid up Dawn’s sides to his chest, leaving a trail of fire on their way. “This is very, very good. You know what makes me hot? That it’s you who’s jerking me off right now, not someone else. I love this so fucking much,” he whispered, and Dawn noticed that he was starting to move his hips, pulling and pushing his cock through Dawn’s fist.

  Seeing it happen made Dawn freeze in wonder. The heat of Mage’s touch went all the way to Dawn’s face, burning his ears. “It doesn’t feel weird to you to be with a guy?” he asked, but hardly expected a negative answer, judging by the elation on Mage’s face.

  Dawn imagined what he would enjoy if he were the one being touched, and shifted his thumb over the cockhead in a circular motion. A visible shudder went through Mage’s body, making him arch. His eyes shut only briefly, and at the same time, Dawn felt a drop of warm liquid dribble down his thumb. He licked his lips, imagining its taste.

  “No. It feels good. And being with you feels best,” Mage said, rubbing his face against Dawn’s neck and showering the exposed skin with kisses.

  Dawn’s balls were becoming heavy with arousal, but right now, with Mage next to him, he could only think of giving pleasure. So, despite his nerves, he pushed Mage back, and leaned down to kiss his chest. The ultimate goal was lower, but the thrill of what he was about to do intoxicated him already.

  Mage’s beautifully muscular flesh lay bare before him, his stomach pulled in at the touch. There was an appendix scar on the stomach, but everywhere else, his skin was an expanse of brown silk. Mage’s nipples puckered at Dawn’s touch, but he didn’t try to direct Dawn, and just kept one hand on his shoulder. It felt more like a gesture of support than pressure.