“I understand.”
“But it doesn’t matter,” he says, looking up at me, a muscle ticking in that hard jaw. “I should have been better to you. I should have told you from the moment I saw you that I wanted you. I should have let you know you were safe by my side.”
“It’s okay,” I say. “You did so much for me. You didn’t owe me anything.”
“That day in the hotel, it means a lot to me,” he says. “I want to continue from there. I want to claim you. But I know you’re considering other dragons, and I want you to know I’ll try to be fair.”
“Fair?”
He looks to the side. “Not beat up whoever you choose. Let you pick.”
“Wow.” I give him a teasing smile. “Not wanting to beat everyone up within a ten-mile radius. What’s gotten into you, Griffin?”
His blue-gray eyes are serious as they lock on mine. “You. You got into me. I had accepted that this place was going to be my home. I had gotten… comfortable. But then you came into my life and made me want more. And without you around, this place doesn’t feel like home.”
My throat is tight because I missed him so much too. I put a hand over his again, feeling the warmth. “I—”
“But I understand that other dragons feel that way too.” Griffin continues, his eyes darting away now. “So I’m going to try to be okay with it.” He peeks back up at me. “But I want you to choose me.”
I laugh. “I appreciate that. But why the change of heart about beating up the other dragons?” And why is he suddenly so much better at sharing his feelings instead of hiding behind a cruel wall?
“It’s Rainier,” Griffin says softly. “He convinced me to team up with him, mainly to find you. After all, it was my stupid fight that led to you being kidnapped.”
“It’s okay,” I say.
Griffin shakes his head. “No, it’s not. I’ve been selfish. I was so cruel to you in the dungeon.” His eyes are tortured as they meet mine. “I relive that every day. See the hurt in your eyes—”
“Honestly, I forgave you already,” I say. “I know you were stressed. You were trying to help and ended up in a dungeon.”
“Rainier and I go way back,” Griffin says, leaning back on the bench slightly. “We were supposed to be paired, but we always hated each other.”
“Why?”
“Mainly because we were raised to be so different,” Griffin says. “Besides, the family that raised me, the dad, he was too competitive about me being stronger than the other dragons. He was constantly putting me in fights, even when I was really young. With adults. With shifters. With anyone willing to beat on me.”
My eyes are wide with horror. “Why?”
“Because I needed to be strong,” Griffin says. “The villages that raise us, the oracle blesses them. I guess the more powerful the dragon, the more blessing. My ‘dad’ cursed the fact that he’d gotten the red dragon, but he said if I was supposed to be strong, he’d make me stronger than any other red dragon.”
I suck in my cheek. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“I didn’t get my powers very young,” Griffin says. “I got the durability that came with my dragon powers, but not the strength. For a lot of years, it was just beatdown after beatdown.” He takes a deep breath. “And if I lost a fight, I got another beatdown at home afterward.”
My hands tighten into fists under the table. “I’d like to get my hands on him.”
Griffin smiles at me, amused, though there is still hurt in his eyes. “No need. He’s dead.”
My jaw drops. “How?”
“He drank himself to death,” Griffin said. “I think the shame of us not getting partnered contributed, but honestly, he was already on his way there. He hated everything.”
“I’m sorry. You deserved better.”
“It’s fine,” Griffin says. “But it explains why I think everyone is out to get me. Why I think I have to fight everyone. Beat everyone or I’m going to get a beating. Or get beaten.”
I nod. “But it turns out some people aren’t trying to beat you.”
He laughs. “Yeah. I mean, in the Blur, it’s actually pretty accurate to see everyone as an enemy.”
“Except the other dragons,” I say somewhat nervously. I still don’t know how to tell him about Byron and Van.
“I already know about Rainier,” Griffin says, reading my thoughts. “And I’m fine with it. Why wouldn’t I be? I have no claim on you.”
I flush. “But you got so angry even thinking I might be with him.”
“No, I got angry thinking about you loving him. He’s so different from me that I thought if you loved him, you couldn’t possibly love me. And that was more painful than I could have imagined.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I say. “Although, Rainier thought the same thing. Just because you’re different from each other, it doesn’t mean I can’t love you both.”
“I know that now,” Griffin says. “And I know you have been with Van and Byron in some ways, and it’s not my business. Nothing you do with them changes anything for me, Anna. What I want is your heart. I want you to love me. And choose me. And I want you to know your options first.”
I feel a deep flush on my cheeks. “That’s… good to know. So you’re really not going to kill any of my friends?”
“Not unless they give me a reason to,” Griffin says. “Not that I would mind being given a reason.”
I snort. “Jerk.”
His lips quirk up in a smile. “You know it.”
I stand up and walk around the table to sit down next to him and lean my head against his big, solid arm.
“I’m glad you found me.” It feels good to just have him around, especially now that he’s not putting up a front with me. I feel like he’s just the Griffin I always wanted to see.
The real one.
I reach up and brush his hair back, loving how soft and thick it is in my hand. “I do want to explore more with you and Rainier. And I do have feelings for you. But I’m confused right now, and I might have feelings for other dragons and…”
I trail off as Griffin puts his hand up to my face, stroking his big thumb lightly over my cheek.
The wind blows my hair around my face, and Griffin brushes it back, then leans in and closes his lips over mine, making me immediately go warm.
I could sit just like this forever, with Griffin’s lips on mine, his hand softly brushing my cheek, his other snaking around my waist to pull me closer. My hands rest on his chest, and I’m helpless as he simply continues the kiss, the gentleness of it making difficult emotions well up in me.
Then he pulls back, cupping my face in those big, capable hands that have done so much for me.
“I think your heart might be big enough to accommodate a lot of love,” he says softly, making me just melt into him.
Because he’s right. It is easy for me to love people. To love dragons.
It isn’t easy to tell what I really want.
“Am I interrupting?” A cool voice floats toward us on the breeze as I see Rainier walking around the side of the house.
I shake my head quickly, pulling back. Griffin pulls back with a groan, more reluctant.
“Good,” Rainier says. “Because if it’s all right with you, I wanted to talk with Anna also.”
Griffin stands, looking stiff and a bit awkward. “I’m gonna go check on Seth, if that’s all right.”
Both Rainier and I nod at him.
I let out a little shiver as he walks back inside, shutting the door behind him.
47
Anna
I turn to Rainier, trying to give him my full attention and not think about Griffin’s kiss.
Though, the minute I see Rainier’s sparkling silver eyes and intelligent smile, all I can think about is what we last did together.
The wonderful, heated moment in that little alcove by the ocean.
We went so far. Almost as far as we could go. We could go further now that we’re together agai
n…
His lips turn up in a smirk. “Glad to see I made an impression.” He rests his cheek on his hand as he looks at me. No one makes me feel as seen as Rainier does. Like he’s looking through me, reading my mind and my heart.
“I’m just logical,” Rainier says. “Curious. Like Griffin was raised to value only brute strength, I was raised with a cold, scientist mentor who thought everyone was beneath us if they weren’t as educated or intelligent.” He purses his lips. “Though, I’ve always thought we were all smart in our own ways.”
I chuckle. “Sounds like something a smart person would say.” I give a shrug. “That’s never been my forte.”
“I would say you’re smart,” Rainier says. “After all, you’ve survived this long in the Blur. And you have all of us dragons eating out of your hand.”
Except Lee, I think.
Rainier cocks his head at me. “Any update on that front? Have you heard from him?”
I shake my head. “No. It makes me nervous thinking about that contract.”
“Don’t be,” Rainier says. “Lee was a blue dragon. If you can trust anyone, it’s him. Blue dragons are always softhearted. They’re healers.”
“What happened to him?” I ask.
Rainier frowns. “There are other things I’d rather talk about. But sure, as a curious person, I know what it’s like to crave information. He was injured by Seth. He almost died. The black dragon fire wouldn’t stop burning, and the oracle had to separate Lee from his dragon form in order to save him. His dragon form burned.”
I gasp, covering my mouth. “Oh my God, why would anyone burn him?”
“Seth lost control of his fire,” Rainier says carefully. “Seth was… different before. Now he lets his poison hurt himself instead of others. But he didn’t always have such control.”
I feel tears biting at my eyes, thinking about that poor hurt dragon. “That’s awful. Seth must feel terrible too.”
“Well, Seth was banished to the Blur before anyone. The rest of us were given a chance. Lee stayed in the human world. The other dragons fucked up and got sent here. I’m somewhere in the middle.”
“How so?”
His silver eyes twinkle. “Naughty enough to cause problems, too smart to get caught.”
“I see.”
“Not that it matters,” Rainier says. “Whoever we were, we were fractured. Unable to move on. To mate. To take our place as heroes.”
I nod. “It’s awful.”
“But Lee kind of got the best deal, I suppose, other than losing his dragon,” Rainier says carefully. “Because he could make a normal human life with any woman, whereas we can only mate with dragon hearts.”
I shake my head. I still feel terrible for Lee, losing his dragon like that.
“But we can’t do anything about that,” Rainier says. “And maybe Lee sent you here because he wants at least some of his friends to be happy. Lee was always the friendliest of us.”
“But he got hurt…”
“He was trying to protect the crowd,” Rainier says. “Seth hit him on accident. But as I said—”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” I say, trying not to let myself get too sad about it. After all, Lee is the one I know the least, despite him being the reason I’m here.
Rainier lets out a sigh. “You really are benevolent, aren’t you, Anna?”
“I suppose,” I say, twisting my hands in my lap. “I always have been.” I look up at him. “So you think Lee just wants me to mate with one or more of you?”
“Could be,” Rainier says. “I couldn’t pretend to know. But I do want you to make your choice carefully.”
I nod. “I will.”
He puts one foot up on the bench so it’s propped next to him. A few strands are free from his low ponytail, framing his gorgeously masculine face.
But those eyes. Those eyes are hard and dominant and uncompromising. “And when I say careful, I mean that you should make sure and do your research. Spend time with each of the dragons or pairs. Go all the way with them. Then make your choice.”
I swallow. “All the way?”
He nods.
“But isn’t that—”
“You’d have to share blood to be mated,” he says. “So no worries there. And I know Byron and Van have already showed you a taste of two dragons.” He leans in, eyes narrowing slightly. “Just for research purposes, how did you like that?”
I flush, realizing what he is asking. For a moment, all my brain can do is conjure an image of Griffin and Rainier together in bed with me.
Rainier, all hard eyes and hard body and cunning moves that take my breath away, and Griffin, all strength and muscle and possessive intensity to contrast with him.
I don’t think I can breathe right anymore.
Rainier laughs. “I’m glad you’re interested.”
My jaw drops momentarily. “But… but won’t that be weird for you? For both of you? Griffin is so possessive.”
“Griffin does want to possess you,” Rainier says. “But he sees being with me as his best chance for that. Besides, remember that dragons like us are meant to be paired. It’s an extra person watching our back and protecting our mate. It won’t bother us once we adjust.”
“How long will that take?”
He shrugs one shoulder lightly. “I’m not sure exactly. All relationships take work. I’m sure ours would as well. Though, the fact that the sex is so good would definitely help things.”
“But you weren’t sent here like Griffin was,” I say. “You don’t… belong in the Blur.”
“I belong where you are,” he says simply, and I can feel my heart skip a beat in a way that aches. “I want you to choose me and Griffin. I don’t know which world we would inhabit, but I know I would want to inhabit it with you.”
I just smile at him as it sets in that I’ve had my first real offer. One that considers the difficulties of living in different worlds.
Van and Byron have made their intentions plain, but Rainier is discussing how life would actually be.
It’s hard to remember that I used to work in a call center. It’s hard to think about my sister.
And it’s hard to realize that I’m actually considering making such life-changing decisions after such a short amount of time.
But then again, I don’t think I could go back to my other life now that I’ve met the dragons. It feels like I would leave most of my heart behind with them. And besides, there is nothing tying me to that world.
When my sister recovers—if she recovers—of course I would want to be there. But for now…
“If you mated with us and got the blue dragon’s power, it could also help you heal your sister. You wouldn’t need anything from Lee,” Rainier says. “You and I can still travel to your world even if Griffin can’t.”
I shake my head. “I would hate leaving Griffin behind.”
“Well, the oracle who decides these things is super romantic,” Rainier says. “I suspect she wouldn’t want to leave a mated pair of dragons in the Blur. Griffin would probably be forgiven.”
“But if he wasn’t?”
“Then we’d just have to work around it,” Rainier says. “But honestly, worry about choosing the right people. Once you do that, the work is worth it.”
That’s a good point. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Use your heart,” Rainier says. “I was raised to think only my brain mattered, and it’s a good brain. But all of the scientific experiments I’ve done mean nothing compared to the way I feel about you. No amount of study or work would make me happy. So I’m trying to learn to listen to my heart. You taught me that.”
“How could I teach you anything?” I tease. “You’re the smart one.”
He ruffles slightly. “That’s not all I am. If you recall…”
I go bright red. “Right. Totally. I never said that was all you are.”
“Think of the kind of things I’ll be able to come up with once we’re mated.” His grin is calculated.
“Two big dragons. One mastermind. One brute.”
I laugh. “You’ve been thinking about this.”
He sits back. “Of course. Now that I know what, or who, I’m working with.”
I cover my face, blushing. “Oh my God, it’s going to be so weird.”
“It won’t,” he says, reaching over to pull my hands away, leaving me blushing with no way to hide.
His smile is reassuring and frightening at the same time. So calm and collected. But his silver eyes are hot. “Trust me, Anna. I won’t let anything happen that you don’t absolutely love.”
“Oh?”
“I plan to have you feeling so much pleasure you can’t see anything but how good it is to have two dragons. That’s if you’re up to try.”
I press my legs together, trying to keep dirty thoughts out of my mind. Already I’m picturing it. Being with either of them would be everything, but both at once? Going all the way?
Rainier cocks his head, peering at me. “Van and Byron won’t be back until late. Have you eaten?”
I nod. “I just had breakfast.”
He stands, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Well then, come and see Griffin and me in the guest room at the back of the house if you want to see what we have to offer. And Anna?”
I look up at him, stupidly aroused. “Yes?”
“It’s a lot.” Then, with a wink, he’s gone, leaving me trembling on the bench, considering my future.
How can I even be thinking of doing such a thing when I have feelings for other dragons?
But perhaps Rainier is right. Perhaps this is just research. I’ve always been a physical person, and though I’m a virgin, I’ve always known sex would be a big part of the way I love.
I wasn’t saving myself exactly. I just never met anyone in my limited free time who I wanted in that way.
It’s ironic now that I have feelings for five dragons.
Bad Dragons: Special Edition Complete Series Page 33