Lynette shook her head. ‘No, not at all. Look, no marriage is perfect and they had their fair share of troubles, but generally any problems centred around money. I know that sometimes cash was a little thin and your mum had to be creative to make ends meet.’
‘Did she resent him over that?’
‘I don’t think so, at least she didn’t say anything to me. She’d get exasperated sometimes and even a little annoyed because he was such a dreamer, but never enough to blow things up into a full argument. I know she felt frustrated that he tended to flit from one idea to the next without seeing anything through.’
‘I never knew any of this,’ Berry said with a sigh. ‘I guess Mum didn’t want us to know about it. That might explain why we had an orchard full of different varieties of fruit trees. Or occasionally the odd paddock planted with canola or sunflowers.’
‘Yeah, and don’t forget about the trout in the dam. You could probably still catch one for your dinner,’ Lynette said with a grin.
‘Oh, I think I do vaguely remember a robust discussion about alpacas,’ Berry said as the memory popped out of nowhere.
Lynette laughed. ‘Yes, that’s right. He was about to launch into raising them and your mum put her foot down.’
‘He didn’t have the knack when it came to farming, did he?’
‘No, he didn’t. It was a shame, because the farm had been in the family for generations, and it ended up whittled down to not much.’
‘You mean it was bigger?’
‘Oh yes, when dad took it on Stone Gully Farm was probably twice the size. When times got hard the family would sell little chunks of it. But it was your grandfather who put an end to that, he told my dad if they kept selling it off there wouldn’t be anything left to leave to you or your brother and sister. So, I know he resisted selling any more land even when they could have done with the funds.’
‘He wanted to pass it on to us?’
‘I guess so,’ Lynette said as she reached over and patted Berry’s hand. ‘But remember it’s what you want that’s important. Don’t think you have to stay because of what your grandad wanted. It can sound a little harsh but we can’t be swayed by the ghosts of the past. If we live that way, we end up living someone’s else’s life and not the one we’re meant to.’
Berry smiled. ‘I think you’re right.’
‘Oh, I know all about family expectations and the guilt trip that can come with it,’ she said with a wink.
‘That sounds like a story.’
‘And not a pretty one.’
‘I’d like to hear it.’
‘I’ll tell you but maybe another day. It’s long and tedious and I think I may need something stronger than tea to get through it,’ she answered with a laugh. ‘Let’s just say, I was expected to marry the boy next door—not because I loved him or we were destined to be together, but so my father could expand and secure the family farm. I felt I was being sold off in a marriage contract from the damn Dark Ages.’
‘How did you get out of it?’
‘I ran away with Jack and never looked back. Truth is, my father still hasn’t forgiven me and it’s been almost twenty-five years.’
‘It sounds very romantic,’ Berry said with a sigh.
‘It was,’ Lynette said with a wink.
Chapter Fifteen
2007
Jordy McCalister was a bit of a screw-up. He knew it and so did most of the inhabitants of Harlington. Though to be fair, most of them had the decency not to say it to his face. He tried really hard but nine times out of ten things blew up in his face. No matter what he turned his hand to it would never pan out like it was meant to—especially if it had anything to do with farming. God only knows why Cath stayed with him.
He leaned back in his chair, linked his fingers behind his head and stretched. Glancing at his research on the small desk in front of him, he smiled. This time was different, this time everything would work and, just once, Cath would be proud of him and the kids would have the life he dreamed for them.
Jordy sat forwards and shuffled through a stack of paper until he pulled out the old map of Harlington he’d accidentally-on-purpose borrowed from the Historical Society. He ran his finger over the heavy paper and for a moment allowed himself to dream a picture of what his life was going to look like. And he wouldn’t fall into the same trap he always did; he wasn’t going to get excited, announce his plans and run at full speed. This time he would be clever and not tell anyone anything until it was all in place.
He ran his hand through his dark hair. No, he couldn’t even tell Cath, not yet. She’d stood by him for each of his grand ideas and stayed there as they crumbled into dust. The only time she objected was six months ago when she refused to agree to turn Stone Gully into an alpaca farm. Even a saint had her limits.
If he was right, then this could be the making or at least the rebirth of the McCalister family’s standing in the community. But more than that, he would finally be able to protect Cath and the kids and give them everything they deserved.
Chapter Sixteen
Berry’s stomach fluttered as she arrived at the pub on Friday night to meet Jodie for dinner. It was crazy to be worried, Berry told herself as she walked into the lounge. Jodie had been her best friend when they were kids; there was nothing to be nervous about.
She scanned the room hoping to recognise Jodie from the couple of photos that Lynette had shown her. She needn’t have worried. From across the room came a shriek followed by, ‘Berry! Berry, over here!’
A slight figure with nut-brown hair was jumping up and down while waving madly, evidently not caring that every eye in the place was focused on her. Berry grinned. Some things never changed.
She hurried over only to be caught in a vice-like hug.
‘Look at you! It’s so good to see you,’ Jodie said.
‘I’ve missed you so much,’ Berry replied, embracing her old friend.
‘Come sit down and tell me everything.’ Jodie gestured to the nearest chair. ‘It’s been too long. What are you up to?’
Berry sat down and smiled at her friend. There wasn’t any of that dreaded awkwardness she’d been half-expecting. She should have known better—Jodie was just Jodie.
‘I’m fixing up the old house,’ she said.
Jodie nodded. ‘Yeah, Mum told me. Are you going to move back?’
Berry shrugged. ‘I’m not sure—probably not.’
Jodie frowned. ‘That’s not like the Berry I remember. You were always so decisive.’
Berry laughed. ‘Oh, I don’t think so.’
‘Yeah, it was always you leading us into trouble,’ Jodie said with a widening grin.
‘Hah, yeah—I think you’ve got that backwards. You’d rush in and I’d stupidly follow.’
Jodie pretended to think for a second before she continued. ‘Hmm, how about when we snuck into the Stringy Bark Orchard and stole apples? That was your idea,’ Jodie said, and before Berry could deny it, she kept going. ‘Oh hang on, how about when old Mrs Taft told us off and in retaliation you hijacked her beloved garden gnomes and put them in the front yard of the school. And then there was the time …’
Berry held up her hands in a sign of surrender and laughed. ‘Okay, you win. That’s enough.’
‘Just refreshing your memory,’ Jodie said. ‘So, how’s the renovation going? Is it weird being back in Harlington?’
Berry paused for a moment. ‘I guess it is. I told myself that coming back wouldn’t worry me. I mean, I was only ten when we left, but I didn’t expect to feel the way I do.’
‘And how’s that?’
Berry shrugged. ‘It’s hard to put into words. Things feel so familiar. I’ve been hit with a whole lot of memories that I’d forgotten.’
‘Memories?’
‘Nothing very earth-shattering or unpleasant, just stuff I’d forgotten,’ Berry said. ‘You know, like us not being able to swim in the dam unless Mum was there to keep an eye on us. Or just how much I liked p
laying in the orchard—I used to pretend it was some sort of magical forest.’
‘It’s good to remember, especially the nice memories. Even though it was cut short, we had a lot of fun when we were kids,’ Jodie said with a smile.
‘Yeah, we did. So, how’s uni going? Your mum said you’re doing Teaching?’
‘Yeah. It’s been a bit full on but I love it. I’m really glad I decided to go after all. I took a few years off after school. The problem was that I just couldn’t figure out what I wanted to be. I worked at one of the supermarkets in Castlemaine and then spent half of last year just doing a bit of travel. I spent a month up in the snowy mountains, and then decided it was way too cold and followed the sun up to Byron Bay and finally all the way to Airlie Beach in Queensland.’
‘Sounds wonderful,’ Berry said with a smile.
‘It was. Anyway, I sat on the beach, stared out to sea and tried to work out what the hell I was going to do with my life.’
‘Well, I guess it worked.’
Jodie grinned. ‘It’s the only way to tackle a problem—go to the beach. Maybe that’s what you need to do. It’s all the sea air and tranquillity, you know. It clears your head.’
‘Sounds like more fun than being in the middle of a reno.’
‘I rest my case. So, other than fixing up the old place what are you up to?’
Berry dragged in a breath before blowing it out in a sigh. ‘I don’t know. That’s the problem. I think I jumped at doing this because I haven’t really got any idea about what I want to do with my life. I thought I had a plan but ever since I found out what actually happened to my parents … it’s weird, I feel a bit lost or something, I can’t really explain it …’ She finished with a shrug.
Jodie looked at her. ‘That doesn’t sound weird at all. I didn’t realise that you didn’t know what happened.’
‘My uncle and grandparents apparently thought it was best not to say anything. All I was told was that there had been an accident, a tragedy, and both my parents and my grandparents had died.’
‘When did you find out?’
‘Not until a couple of years ago. My uncle rarely talks about my mum—he gets too sad—but I was asking a lot of questions and basically badgered him into talking about Mum. It’s one of my greatest fears that one day I’ll wake up and will have forgotten what she looked like and her smile. I try really hard to hang onto her voice, but I can only recall it now when I’m halfway between dozing off and asleep.’
‘I’m so sorry, Berry. That must be hard … for Jess too,’ Jodie said. ‘She must remember even less than you.’
Berry nodded. ‘There’s only so much that we can share, and Tom doesn’t remember anything before the move to Melbourne. We’ve asked our grandparents, as well as our uncle, but they always seem unwilling to talk about Mum or what our life was like in Harlington. It upsets them too much.’
‘It must be hard on them too.’
Berry nodded. ‘Yeah, I get that, I do. My grandparents lost their only daughter and my uncle his sister. But we lost our mum, and I hate the way everyone wants to pretend she never existed. Finally, though, my uncle sat all three of us down and told us the truth.’
‘Geez.’
‘Yeah, I don’t know what I thought I’d hear, but it definitely wasn’t that Dad was responsible for all of it.’
Jodie reached over and patted Berry’s hand. ‘The whole town was rocked by the news. No one could believe it. Your dad was a well-liked person, and this landed like a bomb on the community. I can’t begin to imagine what it must have felt like for you.’
‘Well, it certainly had us reeling. Tom doesn’t remember anything, which is probably a blessing. Jess has some memories but she was only eight. Whether you remember or not, though, it’s heavy information to carry around with you. Uncle Dave said he didn’t want to burden us with the truth, but then he realised we had the right to know. He still grieves for my mum. And he spent so many years being angry at my father for what he’d done, he thought it was best to say nothing or else he’d end up colouring what memories we had of our dad.’
‘That’s a valid point,’ Jodie said. ‘I don’t know what I would have done in the circumstances. I mean, the father you remember and idolise is suddenly turned into a monster; that’s a lot to deal with.’
Berry let out a sigh. ‘The problem is, Jodie, I don’t think I’ve still really come to terms with it. I know I should hate my father for what he did, what he took away from us, but something inside me can’t. It’s stupid, isn’t? I mean, he shattered our lives and yet that’s not the man I remember.’
Chapter Seventeen
It was a clear morning and the winter sun was doing its best to warm the air. Not that Berry needed any help keeping warm because she was already hot, flustered and about to lose it. For what seemed like the tenth time, she attempted to back the trailer close to the shed.
Andrea had been kind enough to lend her the ute and trailer so she could finish the job of cleaning out the sheds, but so far it had been more or less a disaster. Berry wrinkled her nose and frowned; she should have known this was going to be more problematic than she’d imagined.
Winding down the window, she stuck her head out and glared back at the almost jack-knifed trailer. She let out a loud and exasperated sigh, then drove forwards in an attempt to straighten the trailer. Once in position she inched the ute backwards until she finally got the damn thing where she wanted it, almost—sometimes close enough is good enough.
She got out of the car to survey her handiwork—well, it would have to do. She gave the trailer one last dirty look and suppressed the urge to kick it. She grabbed her phone and pulled up one of her favourite playlists, then popped her earphones in. It was going to take several trips to the local tip to clear everything out, and maybe the music would make it go faster. She hit play, shoved on her work gloves and headed to the first shed, walking in time to the thumping beat.
The morning passed quickly but Berry barely noticed as she was intent on clearing out the shed. As she dumped the last stack of mouldering papers, she turned to the sound of a vehicle, then broke into a grin as she saw her uncle’s sleek black car. She ran to meet it, and as she got closer she could make out her sister waving from the passenger seat. Waving back, she picked up her pace.
Her uncle was just getting out of the car when she launched herself into his arms and hugged him tight. For a moment she was overcome and just needed to feel the safety of his embrace.
‘Hey kid, are you okay?’ he asked before he bent to kiss the top of her head.
Berry nodded but couldn’t seem to form any words thanks to the lump in her throat. They stood in silence for a moment as Berry tried to get a hold of herself. As she heard the other car doors open, Berry took a step back and wiped her filling eyes with the back of her hand.
‘Sorry, it’s just I didn’t expect you and … and I didn’t realise how much I missed you all.’
‘Geez, Berry, don’t cry,’ Tom said as he walked over and gave her a brief, almost awkward hug. ‘You’re meant to be glad to see us.’
‘I am,’ she said as she took a step back and studied him for a moment. The family resemblance was strong. She, Jess and Tom shared the same chocolatey brown hair and grey–blue eyes. ‘Have you grown?’
Tom rolled his eyes as he stepped out of Jessica’s way. ‘Don’t be ridiculous—you haven’t been gone that long,’ he quipped.
Before she could reply, Jess barrelled into her arms, causing her to stagger back.
‘I’ve missed you!’
Berry grinned and squeezed her sister tightly. ‘I’ve missed you too.’
‘Oh, come on, Jess, let her breathe,’ Uncle Dave said with a laugh.
Jess loosened her grip and looked into Berry’s eyes. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’
‘Of course I am,’ she nodded with a smile. ‘Even better now that you’re all here.’
Jess stared at her for another moment until she was convinced she w
as telling the truth. ‘All right then, good.’
Uncle Dave took a look around the place, seeing it for the first time in a very long while. ‘So, are you going to show us what you’ve been up to?’ Uncle Dave asked.
‘Yeah,’ Berry said with a bright smile. ‘Although most of the credit has to go to the contractors. Follow me—I’ll give you the grand tour.’
Berry linked arms with her sister and they all walked towards the house.
When they reached the front door, Jess paused for a moment. Berry frowned as she turned her head and looked at her sister.
‘Are you okay?’
Jess looked at Berry. ‘I’m not sure. Stupid, isn’t it?’
She shook her head. ‘Of course it’s not stupid. I had the same reaction when I first came here. Just take your time. And if you don’t want to go in … don’t.’
‘No, no, I want to. It’s just that it feels weird,’ Jess answered. She looked over at her brother and uncle. ‘Is it just me?’
‘No,’ Uncle Dave said. ‘It’s not just you.’
She glanced back to Berry. ‘It feels familiar but at the same time it doesn’t—like I recognise it from a dream, or maybe a nightmare.’
‘You were only eight the last time you were here. That’s a long time ago,’ Uncle Dave said gently. ‘You don’t have to go in.’
‘No, I want to,’ Jess repeated before taking a deep breath and looking to Berry for reassurance.
Berry took her by the hand and gave it a squeeze. ‘You’ll be fine.’ And with that they both walked through the door.
A small smile flickered across Berry’s face as she breathed in the scent of new wood and paint. The house smelled so different from when she had first arrived. It was clean and fresh, the renovation giving the house a new start.
Berry and Jess walked into the lounge room, which was now bright, the old curtains long gone. The windows were opened wide and fresh air filled the room. The heaviness of the past was beginning to lift, at least that’s how Berry felt.
‘It’s funny, you know,’ Jessica said as she looked about the room. ‘I don’t remember this room at all and yet there’s something familiar about it.’
The McCalister Legacy Page 11