by Cameron Hart
I hoped he’d be back by now, I wonder if he’s ok. The fear of losing him hits me like a goddamn shovel to the ribs, which I know all about. But this pain is so much worse.
Get it together. He’s not yours. You’re being crazy for no reason.
Stacy is still kneeling next to me with a worried look on her face.
“I’m fine. I think I’ll get the tea myself. I need some space to think and calm down.”
She looks unconvinced and I think she might just follow me around until I go to bed, but she eventually leans over and gives me a hug before standing up. “Ok, honey. I’ll leave you be. I have a few hours left of my shift and I’ll come in and check on you, wherever you end up, ok?”
“Sure, that’d be great, Stacy. Thank you so much.”
I get up and walk to the kitchen and put some water in the electric kettle.
My mind keeps wandering back to Jax and worrying about him. What kind of business does he do for the club? He talked about an assignment, is it dangerous? Is it illegal? I don’t really know anything about him or the club. I’ve been so consumed with my own shit I never even bothered to get to know him.
And yet, I know him. I feel it. He’s good. He’s gentle and kind and fierce. He’s a protector and he’s loyal. He’s flirty and funny and passionate. And goddamnit, I miss him. I miss him more than I should. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like to leave him. To leave all of them.
Fuck! What did I get myself into?
Chapter 15
Jax
I get back to the clubhouse around midnight. The talk with Bullet, Tank, and Strike went fairly well.
The whole time I was thinking about Claire. How she couldn’t believe anyone would want to help her, want to be nice to her. It made me so mad just thinking about how people had been treating her. Where the hell were her parents during all of this shit? Her dad fucking beat her and then handed her over to the wolves.
She said she’d let me take care of her for now, but how long did that mean? At the time I thought it meant she’d give me a chance, but what if she just meant literally right now, as in, for the time I was in the room. She really has no idea how important she has become to me in such a short amount of time. I think she feels the same about me but she’s fighting it every step of the way, like she doesn’t believe anyone would love her, or like she can’t trust anyone. Fuck, I don’t blame her. But I have to prove her wrong. She can trust me.
Stacy is behind the bar when I step into the clubhouse. She has a worried look on her face.
“Hey, everything ok, Stace? Have you seen Claire?”
“Jax. I’m glad you’re here. I’m worried about her.”
“What? Why? What happened?” I panic, thinking that she left or that Davis asshole found her. “Where is she?”
“Calm down, Jax, she’s ok. She fell asleep on the couch in the media room and I woke her up about 30 minutes ago when she started screaming from a nightmare.”
“Shit. They are getting worse. Where is she now? I need to see her.”
“She’s ok. She’s in the kitchen getting tea –“
I’m running in that direction before Stacy can finish her sentence.
I walk into the dark kitchen and see her slumped over on the table, crying.
Rushing over to her, I kneel down and pull her towards me.
“Angel, it’s ok. I’m here.”
“Jax?” She asks through tears. It sounds like she doesn’t believe I’m really here.
“Yeah, baby, it’s me. What’s going on?”
She slides the rest of the way off the chair and sits in my lap, straddling me, wrapping her arms around me, and squeezing me tight.
“Shh, don’t cry, angel. I’m here.” I stroke her hair with one hand and place my other hand on her back, holding her close. She needs me as much as I need her. I’m never fucking letting her go.
She leans back to look at me, grabbing my face in her hands.
“I was so worried about you, I can’t explain it, I know I’m being crazy, I don’t even really know you.” She starts kissing me all over my face like she still can’t believe I’m here.
She rests her forehead on mine and stares at me with her huge grey eyes.
“I need you, Jax.”
Claire closes her eyes and kisses me. I feel her tongue lick my lips and I gladly open for her. She sweeps her tongue inside and totally owns this kiss. I let her. For now.
Her hips start moving against my jean covered cock and I’m instantly hard. I move my hands to her hips and help her find her rhythm.
She keeps devouring my mouth and rocking herself against me. When my jeans hit her clit, she gasps and breaks the kiss.
I trail kisses down her neck, across her collar bone, and finally down the center of her chest where I rest my head on her breasts.
“Please, Jax, I need you.”
“I know, baby. I need you too.”
She stops moving and I raise my head to look at her.
“You need me?”
“Yeah, beautiful. I need you like I need my next breath. But not here.”
She knits her eyebrows together but before she can say anything I stand up, still holding her against me. She wraps her legs around my hips and I carry her to my room, which is luckily only two doors over.
I open the door and walk us through, closing it with my foot. She starts to pull at my shirt and I help her take it off before unzipping her sweatshirt.
God, she’s so beautiful. Her tank top clings to her curves and I can’t wait to rip it off.
Claire runs her hands up my stomach and over my chest as I gently guide her so her back hits the wall. She starts tracing my tattoos with her fingers and then she starts licking them.
“Goddamn, baby, you feel so good.”
She blushes. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I just wanted to taste all of you.”
I gently grab her chin between my thumb and forefinger and lift it up so she’s looking in my eyes.
“Never apologize for touching me, angel. I love everything you do to me.”
I lean down and crush my lips on hers, the kiss quickly becoming desperate. I move my hand to her back and pull her closer to my body so I can feel every inch of her.
It’s time to get rid of that tank top. I can’t wait to feel her breasts against my skin, her nipples puckering and dragging across my chest.
I reach down to pull her tank top over her head when Claire tenses up.
I stop what I’m doing and cup her face in my hands.
“What’s wrong? Do you want me to stop?”
She shakes off my hands and looks down at the floor. She doesn’t answer me.
Fuck. I fucked this up. She was crying, and I needed her, and I’m a selfish bastard.
“Shit, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I –“
“No,” she cuts me off, “I want this. I want you, I just…”
“What’s wrong, angel?” I say in as gentle and calming voice as I can.
“I’ve haven’t done this… I mean I’ve never… What if I’m not good enough?”
“Claire, look at me.” She doesn’t at first. “Please, baby, I need you to look at me.”
She lifts her head and looks at me with unshed tears glistening in her eyes. It fucking guts me that she would ever think she’s not good enough, especially for me.
“You’re perfect. You’re so strong,” I kiss her forehead. “You’re kind,” I kiss her nose. “You’re sassy and feisty,” I kiss her cheeks where the tears have started to fall. “Claire, you’re everything.” I take her mouth in a slow kiss, hoping to pour my heart and all of my feelings into her.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, angel. I just want to make you feel good.”
I kiss my way down her neck and over her gorgeous breasts. I kneel down in front of her and continue kissing down her stomach. I can smell her arousal, I know she wants this, but won’t do anything until she’s ready.
> I rest my forehead against her stomach, my hands trailing up to hold her hips. I try to think of what to say to make her feel comfortable with me.
And then I feel her hands in my hair as she pulls and tilts my face up to look at her.
“Make me feel good, Jax. I want to feel you.”
Fuck.
I hook my thumbs in the waistband of her leggings, keeping my eyes on her as I slowly pull them down. She nods and I continue dragging them down her toned legs, placing soft kisses along the way.
I lift one foot and pull the legging off before doing the same on the other side. I run my nose and lips up one leg from her ankle all the way up to her panty-covered pussy.
She gasps as I take a deep breath of her wet cunt.
“Goddamn, baby, you smell so good.”
I rub her pussy through her panties and she moans for me, clutching my shoulders. I can feel her wetness soaking through the thin material and I have to squeeze my cock to calm down. I know he won’t see any action tonight, so I have to get him under control.
I kiss a line across the exposed skin above the waistband of her panties and then hook my fingers inside. I pause and look up at her needing her permission.
She nods.
“I need your words, angel.”
“Please, Jax,” she says in a husky voice.
“Please, what angel? What do you want me to do?”
“Touch me. Lick me. Taste me, Jax. Please!”
I slide her panties down and off her legs and then lift one leg over my shoulder for better access.
“Angel, your gorgeous pussy is so wet for me.”
“Mmmm…” is all she can say. I smile. I like rendering her speechless, and I haven’t even touched her yet.
I slip my tongue in between her wet folds and lick her from her entrance up to her clit. She bucks against me and moans. I run my hands up her legs and grab her hips to steady her.
“Fuck, baby, you taste so good.”
“Don’t… stop…”
“Never, angel. I could live right here.”
I lick her again and swirl my tongue across her clit. I nip at her lips and kiss away the sting before driving my tongue in her hole.
“Ahh, yes!”
I continue fucking her with my tongue as my nose swirls around her clit. I’m practically suffocating on her, but I don’t care. I could die right here a happy man.
I move my tongue through her slick folds and return to her clit. She’s gushing on my face and I fucking love it.
I push one finger inside of her and she bucks again. She’s so tight and perfect. I feel the walls of her pussy pulsing around my finger as I slide it in and out of her. She starts rocking against my hand, chasing her release.
“That’s it, baby. I want you to come all over my hand.”
She moans, and I push a second finger in, working faster as I return to my assault on her clit with my tongue. I curl my fingers up and hit the spot that will drive her crazy. I feel her body tense and shake, and I know she’s close.
“Oh fuuuuuck! I’m going… I’m going to…”
“Let go, angel. I’ve got you. Come for me. Come for me, Claire.”
I lick her clit and bite it and she fucking explodes.
Her mouth opens in a silent scream as she throws her head back, her hair cascading down her back. Her fingers tighten into fists in my hair and it hurts so good.
Watching her come has my cock exploding my jeans like a damn teenager. I don’t give a shit. She’s fucking perfect and watching her come is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
I lick her through her orgasm, drinking up every drop of honey she gives me. My grip tightens on her hips as she shakes, finally coming back down.
I stand up and pull her into my arms, kissing her like a mad man. She wraps her arms around me and kisses me right back. I know she can taste herself on me and that has my dick at half-mast already.
“Jax… that was… Fuck. I’ve never…”
She’s still catching her breath as tremors of her orgasm run through her.
I smile at her and brush a few strands of her hair behind her ear before leaning down and putting my lips on the shell of her ear.
“You look so beautiful when you come. Sexiest damn thing I’ve ever seen.” I pull her earlobe through my teeth and then suck on it.
She moans softly, and my cock stirs again.
“Let’s get you to bed, sweetheart. It’s late.”
“But what about you? I mean, you didn’t…”
“Trust me, I did. You made me come all over my jeans. I can’t wait to get inside of you, but not tonight.”
“Oh.” She blushes, and I can’t help but steal another kiss.
I scoop her up and walk her over to the bed, placing her down gently.
“I can walk, ya know, hot lips.”
“Hot lips?” I grin.
“Yeah, I feel like it fits you.”
I lean down and kiss her again. “I hope I continue to live up to the name.”
“I’m not too worried.” She smiles and I fucking melt for her. She’s it. She’s everything.
“I have to go clean up, I’ll be right back.”
I walk out of the bathroom a few minutes later with a warm washcloth and see her stretched out on my bed. It’s the most relaxed I’ve ever seen her. I vow to give her an orgasm or three every night if it means she can relax like this.
I head towards the bed and grab her panties off the floor on my way.
She gives me questioning look at the washcloth in my hand.
“It’s to clean you up, beautiful.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I mean I can –“
“No way. I said I was going to take care of you. That’s what I plan to do.”
She blushes a pretty pink and it’s quickly becoming my new favorite color. I wonder if her nipples will match her blushing cheeks.
“Spread your legs for me, angel. Let me take care of you.”
She does as I ask and I gently clean her thighs and pussy with the washcloth before tossing it in the dirty laundry bin.
Then, lifting her legs up, I slide her panties up, ghosting my nose and lips up her right leg. She lifts her hips and I pull her panties back in place. I give her pussy a quick kiss over the material and she giggles.
“Do that again,” I say.
“Do what?” She giggles again.
“That… God that’s my new favorite sound. Well, that and when you moan with my tongue deep in your pussy.”
“Jax! That’s so… dirty!”
“You like it though, yeah?”
She blushes a deep red and nods. “Yeah…” she sighs. “I like it a lot.”
She’s perfect. She’s mine. I’m keeping her.
I lean over her, placing my hands on either side of her head. She loops her arms around my neck and runs her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck.
“There’s plenty more where that came from, beautiful. It’s all for you.” I give her a quick kiss on her forehead, her nose, and her lips before pushing off the bed. “But for now, we need to sleep.”
She nods, and I can tell she’s halfway gone already.
I go to the other side of the bed and crawl in, pulling her close. I curl around her small frame, covering her back with my front. I kiss her shoulder and rub my forehead back and forth on her soft skin. When her breathing evens out and I know she’s asleep, I kiss her shoulder one last time and whisper, “I love you, angel.”
Chapter 16
Claire
The door to The Mercy Room bangs open and startles me from my sleep.
“Are you ready to obey this time, Claire?”
I instinctively pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, trying to make myself as small of a target as possible. The only visitor I got while in The Mercy Room was elder Davis. He came in to beat me into submission.
“Sit up. Look at me. I’m going to break you, and when I do, I want to s
ee your eyes.”
I stay huddled up.
He rips my arms away and grabs my hair, forcing me to look at him.
“I said, sit up.”
I do.
“Good. Maybe you’re not as stupid as you look.”
He walks back and forth in front of me, never taking his eyes off of me.
“Repeat after me, Claire. ‘No one loves a disobedient woman.’ Say it, Claire.”
I shake my head.
He slaps me.
“I am a patient man, Claire. I will be here every day until you submit. Now, say it.”
I don’t move or speak.
He grabs my hair and forces me to look at him, his face inches away from mine.
“I have other ways to make you submit, Claire. After I touch you, after I’m inside of you, no one will want you, you whore. I will tell them all you seduced me. No one will love you. Say it. Say no one will love you.”
The thought of him forcing himself on me makes me sick to my stomach. I can take a lot of abuse but I know I would never recover from that.
“N…no one will l…love me,” I whisper.
“Louder, Claire.”
“No one will love me.”
“Louder!” He pulls me off the bed and throws me to the ground, towering over me.
“No one will love me!”
He slaps me.
“Again!”
“No one will love me!”
He lands a kick on my side.
“Again!”
“NO ONE WILL LOVE ME!” I scream and thrash, half awake, half drowning in fear, stuck between realities.
“Wake up, angel, wake up.” I feel warm hands on my shoulders, gently shaking me. “Please, baby, you’re scaring me.
I fight to open my eyes. I know that voice. I feel myself being torn. Part of me follows the voice while another part lingers in The Mercy Room.
“Nnn…no one… will love mmm…me…” I feel myself shaking, bracing for another blow.
“Come back to me, Claire. It’s just you and me. You’re safe. You’re safe with me.”
Warmth surrounds me, and I feel the last part of me click into the present.
“Jax?”
He pulls me into his lap and covers me with his arms, gently rocking me back and forth.