With a firm grasp on the bags, I trot toward the door to load the SUV. Wrenching the door open, my heart falls, practically skittering to a stop. Standing before me is the last person I want to see right now.
Quirking an eyebrow in my direction, Sam points to the bags. “Going somewhere?”
“Yep,” I reply.
“And where exactly are you planning on going?” His gaze roves over me, taking me in cautiously. Sam’s eyes narrow when he notices the duffle bag containing my gear. Widening his stance, he crosses his arms over his chest as he waits for my answer.
“I’m going off the grid for a while. You’ll be in charge while I’m gone, but Colonel Parker will be here right by your side the entire time.”
Sam’s eyes widen in surprise. “What do you mean you’re going off the grid?”
“Exactly what I said. Now leave it. I have to go.”
Taking a step closer, Sam tries to corral me back into the apartment.
“Sam.” His name is an animalistic growl.
“Dammit, AJ. This is ridiculous. Don’t do this. We have too much going on right now for you to be going off half-cocked on your own. Now isn’t the time.”
His intense gaze bears down on me, misery and torment radiating from his dark brown eyes. Seeing the hurt and anger in my best friend’s expression tugs at something inside me, pulling at the already singed pieces of my heart. And in spite of it all, it’s still not enough to sway my decision. Despite what he may think, everything is riding on the success of this operation, and it is killing me not to be able to share it with him. But this is the only way to ensure everyone’s safety.
“I have to,” I utter, keeping my gaze fixed on his.
“No, you don’t,” Sam pushes out, his face twisting with determination.
“We’ve just opened the investigation on Back Door Black, and we need you, AJ. I need you.” He blows out a breath and relaxes his stance, dropping his arms. “You lead this team, Alex. You always have, and you always will. We can’t do this without you.”
Staring at him in disbelief, I shake my head. “You don’t need me. None of you do. This unit is the strongest I’ve ever seen. You’ve been through hell and back, and you’ll be just fine. You all train harder and work faster than any other unit out there. With Colonel Parker by your side, it will only make you stronger. Use his knowledge to help guide you. You’ll be a great leader, Sam. I believe in you, man.”
“Is this about Noah? We are all grieving for the loss of our friend and brother, AJ. You can’t run away just because things get tough. This is war. People die in war. You knew what you signed up for when you joined, dammit.” The irritation in Sam’s voice doesn’t quite mask the pain and grief at the mention of Noah.
Scoffing, I thickly retort, “Of course this isn’t about Noah. Leave it, Sam. We are all better off that way. Trust me, it’s for the best.”
“Then I guess it’s because of that mahogany haired beauty of yours and the fact that she left you? What, are you planning on going to set up some kind of surveillance mission to stalk her and make sure that she doesn’t kill herself while she’s in the lion’s den? Because that has to be the second dumbest idea you’ve had. The first one being Sabrina.”
My body begins to tense, each muscle quivering with anger as I glower in Sam’s direction. The timbre of my tone is flat, each word ringing with a cold finality as I say, “It has nothing to do with Kylee. I said leave it.”
Sam’s jaw tenses as he crosses his arms over his broad chest, taking a step forward. “I don’t believe you.”
“Believe it,” I say through clenched teeth.
Sighing, Sam drops his arms and scrubs a hand down the front of his face. “Look, AJ. I don’t want to argue, but we really do need you. So, what do you say you put the bags down and we grab some coffee? We can head back to base and discuss the investigation.”
“I’m not changing my mind, Sam.”
Growling, Sam tosses his head back, looking up at the ceiling. “Fuck! AJ, what is this really about?”
“I already told you, Sam. Let it be.”
“I’m not letting this go.”
“Goddammit, Sam, back off,” I sneer.
“I will not back off. You’re not just my brother, AJ, you’re my best friend, and that means something to me. We’re in this together until the very end whether you like it or not. Even if that means at the end, the breath is leaving my damn lifeless body.” Sam reaches forward, grasping my shoulder, giving it an encouraging squeeze.
Emotions bombard my overloaded system as I force my body to tense at his touch. Revulsion and disgust roil inside of me as my face twists with mock anger, and I pray it’s enough to convince my best friend. Dropping the duffle bag in my hand, I pull back and let loose a punch, sending Sam stumbling back several feet. Sam’s eyes grow large as he stares at me in shock. We’ve never once in all of our years as friends hit each other out of anger. Grabbing my bags, I secure the lock on the apartment door and turn to Sam one final time.
With my voice devoid of all emotion, I say, “I said leave it, Sam. It’s better for everyone this way.”
Turning, I stomp down the hall toward the elevator. As the car arrives, I catch a glimpse of Sam rubbing his jaw. His hurt and confused expression sends a stinging jolt of guilt racing through me. Expressionless, I wait for the doors to close before I release a pained groan and rub a hand across my face. God, what I wouldn’t give for a do-over. Fuck!
Why did this have to be so complicated? For once, it would be nice if something could go as planned. Dammit! The anger coursing through me momentarily takes control, and I punch the elevator wall. The cool metal heaves a sigh before giving way to a small dent. Pain explodes, traveling from my fist to my arm as the elevator door opens into the lobby.
Shaking out my arm, I grab my things and hurry out the doors, glancing into the lobby, looking for signs of Sam along the way. I wouldn’t put it past him to take the stairwell and follow me. Cautiously taking in my surroundings, I look around, finding nothing. Hastily hurrying out the doors and across the street to the SUV, I quickly load everything. Once behind the wheel, I take one final glimpse to find Sam staring back at me from the entryway. Anger now replaces the hurt expression he wore moments ago.
Involuntarily, I flinch away from the unwavering anger in his glare. The contempt and heat in his eyes radiate solely at me. With as much willpower as I can muster, I start the SUV and shift it into gear, driving away from my best friend. The emptiness I carry inside from Kylee’s rejection when she left me intensifies. I am now truly alone. Sadness rips at me, shredding what’s left of the fragile pieces, replacing it with determination. I wonder if this is how my goddess feels.
I will fix this. I have to. The buzzing of my phone pulls me out of my mental reverie. Glancing at the screen, I recognize the Colonel’s number and immediately connect the Bluetooth.
“Colonel.”
“Is it done?” the Colonel briskly asks.
“Well, hello to you too, Pops.”
A deep chuckle comes over the line. “You know if anyone else had said that I’d have had their balls in a vise grip.”
“I believe it,” I say, wincing at the mental image.
“Now, back to my original question. Is it done?”
Sighing heavily, I reply, “Yes, I did what needed to be done. Packed the essentials and all of the gear. I’m on the way to the safe house now. But, I ran into a bit of an issue on the way out.”
“What kind of an issue?”
“I ran into Sam when I was leaving. He had a lot of questions about where I was going and what I was doing. He knew Kylee had left me. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s been talking to Emma and Brighton happened to be there.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“Colonel, Sam won’t give up easily. He’s going to put pressure on you, and when you think he’s done, he’s going to press you some more. So when push comes to shove if you have to make me the bad guy the
n do it. I did something when I left that I’ve never done before. And I’m not so sure that I’ll be able to fix it when everything is said and done.”
A pregnant pause fills the air, dragging out for several moments before the Colonel eventually releases a loud huff of air. “You can’t make anything easy, can you?” The Colonel’s wry tone brings about a small smile.
“Shit, I don’t even remember what easy looks like.”
Groaning, the Colonel mutters a curse under his breath. “I don’t exactly find that comforting considering what we’re going up against, son.”
“Would you rather someone else take the job?” I snap.
“Would you actually trust anyone else to protect her?” he demands.
“Hell no! The only men I’d even consider capable enough to protect her, let alone worthy, are my unit, but you know that. Besides, you know damn well it’ll be me standing by her side, seeing this through until the very end.”
“That’s what I thought.” The Colonel’s smug reply has me scowling at the road. Cocky bastard.
“Now, don’t worry about Sam and the others. I’ll take care of them. You have more important things to worry about at the moment.”
“It sounds almost as if you have a plan, Colonel.”
“I do.” His knowing smile can be heard over the line.
“Are you planning on filling me in on this glorious plan of yours?”
“Glorious plan? I like that. I think I’ll use that from now on. This glorious plan as you like to call it is really just you doing recon for now.” He pauses, taking a breath before saying, “Go ahead, I know you’re dying to say something.”
“Recon? I know we need to do recon, but shouldn’t we start by figuring out how to get me in with Kylee? She isn’t exactly answering my calls at the moment.”
A boisterous laugh comes over the line as the Colonel chuckles deeply. “Trust me. That’s exactly why you’ll be doing the recon, son. You’re going to be scoping out my ex-wife’s house.” The line goes silent for several long moments. Taking my eyes off the road, I glance at the screen and see the call is still connected.
Clearing my throat once, my voice is full of skepticism as I ask, “Why would she go back to a place that she was held captive?”
“Wrong house, Grant. Kylee may show up there first, but I have no doubt that the NIS contact she has will direct her to her mother’s actual residence. Which is where you will be doing your recon.” He stops as if letting me mull over the information for a bit and then continues. “Your job is to monitor who comes and goes at all times. Collect as much intel as you can, and if given the opportunity to intercept my daughter, you do so. I mean it, Grant. I want you to get to her before she steps foot on the premises. Is that understood?” His final words ring clear with intent and authority. A command issued by a leader, one in which I have no desire to disobey.
“Yes, sir. Understood.”
Dread bristles along the back of my neck, and I tense, readying myself to ask the question that’s on the tip of my tongue. It’s one I have no desire to ask. Yet, as the Army has so graciously taught me over the years, I must be ready for every possible outcome.
Cringing inwardly, I put my own feelings aside and ask the one question I have no desire to voice. “What happens if we don’t get to her first?” My raspy voice sounds distant and foreign to my ears.
Sighing heavily, the Colonel sounds despondent when he replies, “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, we go on as planned. I’m banking on her taking a bit longer to gather the courage to even go looking.”
“That’s a lot to bank on, Colonel. You didn’t see her when she left. She was full of fire and determination, ready to see this through to the end.”
A heavy weight centers in my stomach, filling me with unease as I think about those final moments with Kylee. The fingers on my right hand begin to tap the steering wheel, an impatient cadence drumming along to my every thought. As I get closer to the safe house, the knot in my stomach tightens as thoughts race through my mind and I become lost in the moment. Both my body and mind are restless and ready to get to work to fix this rift that has torn my world to shreds.
“Grant,” the Colonel barks into the receiver.
“Yes?”
“Are you even paying attention?”
I am now. I shake my head quietly, musing to myself.
“Um, sorry, sir. There was a squirrel,” I say, trying to fight the urge to laugh at my obvious lie.
“A squirrel? Really? That’s what you’re going with? A squirrel? Holy shit, man. Where the fuck is Noah when you need him?” the Colonel half laughs at his comment before he realizes what he said.
“Ah, damn. I’m sorry, Alex—”
Cutting him off quickly, I say, “Don’t apologize. We need to talk about him. Be sure to bring him up often with the guys. They won’t like it at first, but it will help. Things like this help. Shit, who the hell am I kidding? He’d have ripped on me for using squirrel.” The Colonel’s deep laugh shakes off some of the melancholy that had taken root at the mention of Noah.
“All right, Big Daddy P.” I pause, chuckling at the nickname Noah gave him.
“I’m never going to get rid of that stupid name am I?” the Colonel grumbles.
“Probably not,” I say.
“Fuck it. Better live up to it, then.”
“May as well,” I retort.
“Seriously, though, I’m almost at the safe house. I’ll start recon on the house, and if I intercept her and can get everything put in place, I’ll let you know.”
“Fine. But you know you have to ditch the phone, right?”
“Yeah, I was afraid of that. I’ll need to pick up a new one on the way.” I glance at the clock on the dash, trying to puzzle out how much time I can spare to grab a burner phone. The Colonel’s deep baritone interrupts my musings before I can even figure out where to stop.
“No need. You’ll find a burner on the bed at the safe house. You know what to do with the current one. The last thing we need is someone tracking you. You will also find a series of numbers by the phone. Use them in the event of an emergency only. When you send a text to the five-digit number and put in the sequence attached, it will immediately dispatch an extraction team. I’m putting them together now and will have them on standby.” The Colonel pauses and inhales deeply several times then cautiously proceeds. “Alex, memorize the sequence and destroy the paper. You will also find information on how to contact me at the safe house. As of now, you are officially off the grid. I don’t need to stress to you how important this is for both our country and us personally. You already know. But what I am going to stress is that you keep your head about you at all times. I want you to remain levelheaded. Try not to let your emotions cloud your judgment. And most of all, watch your back. I’ve grown kind of fond of you over the last several weeks, and I’d like to keep you around for a while longer.”
He clears the emotion from his throat several times before he asks, “Are you clear on what needs to be done?”
Swallowing, I respond thickly, “Yes, sir.”
“Good. I want updates on anything new until you’re inside. Then we will re-evaluate the situation.”
“Understood.” Lifting my hand from the steering wheel, I reach over to disconnect the call when the Colonel’s smooth voice halts my progression.
“And, Grant?”
“Yes?” I ask hesitantly.
“Keep her safe.”
His words are unsettling. This is not the Colonel that demands respect with his commanding presence. Here is the plea of a father, one who is looking out for the most prized possession in his world . . . his daughter. My throat constricts, pulling taut with the emotion that threatens to choke the air from me. The Colonel is not only entrusting me with his most prized possession but his lively hood.
It’s something he’s never entrusted another soul with, a fact that does not go unnoticed by me. It’s a gift I can never truly rep
ay. So, with as much conviction as I can assemble, I reply, “With my life, sir.”
“Very well. I expect to hear from you soon,” the Colonel states, abruptly disconnecting the call.
Staring at the road blankly, I continue toward the safe house on autopilot. Thinking through all of the things that have happened on this shit storm of a day—from Kylee to Sam and the things that lie ahead—everything seems so distant as if it’s a nightmare that I can’t seem to wake up from. Sam’s angry expression keeps rising to the forefront of my mind as I make my way through the city streets. The anger and pent up rage he held inside I’ve only ever seen once before.
Only they aren’t emotions that were reserved for me. My chest aches as I think of the hurt and anger he must be feeling, the betrayal and sense of loss that Sam will no doubt take my absence as. I just hope and pray that when everything is said and done, he understands and accepts why I did it. And above all . . . can forgive me for betraying him.
AS I STARE AT THE structure looming before me, I can’t help but think about the effect this place has had on me. A friend once told me that places hold memories, recollections of the past. If that truly is the case, then this wretched place is cursed. Allowing my eyes to roam over the front of the house, yet again, I can’t help but feel hollow inside. The scar on my abdomen throbs, a slight ache from the wound she inflicted on me in this very house—the house that broke me. Or did this house build me?
I cannot deny the complete sense of brokenness I feel inside. The ache of loss for my daughter . . . for Alex. Every lungful of air that is drawn into my body feels like a betrayal, as if it should be the last . . . as if on the outside I am someone else. Like a child scared and alone in the world without a soul to rely on, betrayed by her own blood in every sense of the word. Sorrow pulls at my heart, weakening the organ further.
Royal Blood Page 3