God, to hear his voice, his stupid wisecracks, to see the genuine smile on his face. Tears stream unabashedly down my cheeks. Butterflies invade my stomach, attacking my nerves as I stare shamelessly at my brother.
“It’s good to see you, too,” Noah hedges, his voice filled with tender emotion.
“I-I don’t understand. How are you here?”
Noah smiles, a gentle smile completely opposite of his usual, teasing grin. I can feel my expression pinch, tightening around my eyes and mouth. Realization dawns on me as I suck in harsh breaths, my chest heaving with exertion. Damn. I didn’t expect to be done in like this. I had so much I wanted to say to her.
Regret forms a sour ball in the pit of my stomach. My uneasy breathing grows worse. Noah claps me on the shoulder.
“Relax. It’s not your time yet, brother,” he says reassuringly, his gentle green eyes alight with understanding.
Arching a dark brow in confusion, I stare, unsure of what to say. Who, what, when, where, why, how? They all seem like valid questions to me. Noah smirks, the glint in his eye brightening his green irises.
“You never were one to follow directions well, were you?”
“I think you got us mixed up. I follow them just fine. It was always you who didn’t.”
“Ah, well. Someone had to keep you on your toes. Besides, nobody puts Noah in a corner.”
Snorting, I wheeze out a breath, my chuckle turning into a full on belly laugh at Noah’s comment. Wrapping my arms around my midsection, I hunch over, tears streaming down my face in uncontrollable laughter. Clutching his heart and his head, Noah feigns a hurtful expression. Breathing deeply to calm the raging laughter, I glance at my friend. A pang of longing pierces my heart, filling me with sadness at his loss.
The reality is, I miss my friend. We all do. Nothing seems to be right without him. Sensing the change in direction, Noah’s understanding smile reappears. Giving me a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, he lets out a resigned sigh.
“Despite everything, I wouldn’t take it back.”
His gaze falls to the rippling surface of the murky water. Swallowing hard, I nod, understanding exactly what he’s referring to. Before I can acknowledge or respond, he continues.
“We all write our own destinies, Alex. No one person’s path is set in stone. That’s the beauty of free will. We get the choice—the choice to decide whether we’re going to do what’s right and follow our heart or choose to take the path that leads us to our own destruction.” His eyes lift, his turbulent gaze meeting mine.
“I had a choice to make, and given that choice a second time, I would do the same thing over again. She needed me more than any of you do. It was my time.”
“You saved her life, and it’s a debt I will never be able to repay. I would trade places with you if I could, but Kylee wasn’t the only one who needed you, Noah. We all do.” The tears that had dried in my eyes begin to stir, the damn bursting as they flow freely once again.
Noah shakes his head adamantly. “Not who I was referring to,” he says with a sad smile.
My eyes bulge, widening in my sockets, confusion taking over my muddled brain. She? Who on earth is he referring to? The only other she that I know of is . . . My head snaps up, the action so brutal it feels like the crack of a whip. Violet. Noah nods as if our brains are connected.
“I see you’ve made the connection.”
“Violet.” Her name is a breathy whisper filled with agony and longing.
Noah’s face brightens, green eyes gleaming as his lips quirk, turning up at the ends.
“Mmm hmm. She reminds me a lot of you,” he muses, his gaze far off as if he is remembering something.
“I don’t understand any of this, Noah. This feels like torture to me, like I’m stuck in an alternate reality. One where I can’t get back to Kylee, but I can’t go forward to see my daughter or even hang out with your dumb ass. What are we doing here? What am I doing here?”
“Waiting,” he replies.
“Waiting for what?”
“You’ll know when you see it.” His simple reply frustrates me.
“I still don’t understand.” I shake my head.
“I know, but you will,” he promises.
“Noah, can I ask you a question?”
“Always,” he answers.
“Why did you come?”
A knowing light shines brightly in his eyes once more. “Because she asked me to give you a message. That and I figured you could use the company.”
Gulping, I suck down a mouthful of air, trying to wrap my brain around his words. She wanted to give me a message? My heart lurches, ricocheting around my chest like a pinball.
“Would you like to hear it?” Noah’s deep voice interrupts my fretting.
Unsure if my vocal cords will actually work, I give a single nod.
“Violet wanted you to know she’s fine, and she asked that you stop blaming yourself.” Noah hesitates, pinning me with his all-knowing glare. “She’s a smart one, you know. Looks like her mother, except the eyes. She has her father’s eyes. The perfect mix of the two—brains and beauty.” He smiles, his thoughts turning inward for a moment. A pang of jealousy strikes me in the gut. Right this second, I would turn back time and give anything for a chance to meet my daughter. Shaking his head, he peers at me, his eyes becoming glassy.
“I believe she knew you needed this, so pay attention, will you?” Taking a breath, he grips my shoulder for support.
“She said to tell you. ‘Daddy, wishing upon a star won’t change the past. I go wherever you go, always in your heart, loving you until the day you meet me on the other side.’”
Loud sobs rumble, bursting from my chest, the once dull heartache becoming excruciating with her words echoing in my head. Taking my head in my hands, I cry, gut-wrenching pain tearing me up as sobs beat at my insides. Noah squeezes my shoulder, pulling my attention to him. Sitting up straight, I stare into his sad green eyes. Embracing me, my friend hugs me, tears flowing from my face into the murky water.
Patting my back, Noah reluctantly lets go. Looking me in the eye, he smiles. “I told you she was smart.”
“God, Noah. I’d give anything to see her.”
“It’s not your time, big guy. Rest assured that I will take care of her. And when your time comes, I will be here waiting to take you to her.”
“Fuck, Noah. How do I go on? How do I live each and everyday knowing that you sacrificed everything for us?”
“Would you have done the same for me?” he asks.
“In a heartbeat,” I reply without hesitation.
“Then you have your answer. You live each day knowing I did it out of love. My love for you, Kylee, Sam, Cooper, and Brighton. Hell, even the Colonel’s sexy little ass.” Letting out a watery laugh, I chuckle, memories of Noah razzing the Colonel assaulting me.
Noah’s eyes travel to mine, his smile dimming as he states, “Even on the darkest of days when you feel like you’re drowning in pain and the world is too much to bear, just turn your face up to the sky, day or night, and know you have someone out there rooting for you.”
“My own personal angels in the sky.”
Noah nods. “Two angels watching over each and every one of you.”
“That doesn’t make this any easier,” I say, breathing through the pain and anguish.
“Nothing worth doing is ever easy.”
Noah’s head cants to the side, his eyes brimming with sadness when he peers back at me. “It’s time.”
Giving my head a vigorous shake, I grab his bicep in an ironclad grip. “No, I’m not ready to leave you yet. We have so much left to talk about, so much I still need to say.”
Placing a hand over mine, he squeezes. “I love you, too, man,” he pushes out through a strained breath.
“Fuck, Noah. I don’t think I can leave you a second time.”
“You have to, Alex. It isn’t your time. Besides, I need you to do something for me.” Pausing, he waits, never taki
ng his eyes off of mine.
“Anything,” I utter with conviction.
Noah breathes a sigh of relief, his eyes focusing on the rippling waves. “I need you to tell everyone that I’m fine. Be strong for them. They need you more than you realize. And go easy on Sam. You’ve got your work cut out for you patching up that mess you created,” he says, casting a glimpse at me from the corner of his eye.
Taking a deep breath, I swallow and nod. I already knew I had my work cut out with Sam. That’s a bridge I’ll just have to cross when I get to it.
“I promise I’ll tell them.” The words are quiet, yet they echo in the vast expanse of . . . wherever I am.
Noah remains silent for a second before responding. “Tell Brighton . . . I said I’m sorry. I love him but he needs to swallow his pride. Stop being an asshat. The second he opens the door, everything changes. The world won’t be such a dismal place. She can help him close the rift but only if he allows it. Everything isn’t as it seems. He can ruin her if he isn’t careful, so make sure he’s careful. She’s special.” Noah turns his brilliant green eyes to me, drilling me with the importance of his message.
Gulping, I inhale a harsh breath. “Cryptic much?” I say with a laugh.
“Couldn’t make it easy for you. Besides, it’s like a comedy for Violet and I. We make popcorn and watch you screw up.” He smirks, quirking a brow at me.
Blanching, I wonder if there is any truth in his statement.
“You’ll never know,” he says, his smile growing wider.
“Shit. I said that out loud?”
He nods a single affirmation at my stupidity. As I open my mouth to respond, a hard tug rips at my chest, jerking me backward. My eyes grow wide, gripping onto Noah’s forearms, and I squeeze. Another harsh tug. My body jolts backward again. No! I scream inside my head.
I’m not ready to go. The panic and pain welling in my chest grows as another tug surges, pulling me back again. Placing his fingers over mine, Noah pries my hands off of his arms. Giving them a gentle squeeze, he looks me in the eye, smiles his dazzling smile, and mouths “Goodbye.” Letting go of my hands, he places his palms on my chest, giving me a little shove. Dissolving, Noah fades from my line of sight.
Cinching my eyes closed, I feel like I’m falling through space and time until I feel nothing. A beep reverberates somewhere close by. Groaning, I can feel the rumble traveling down my center, little aches and pains igniting along the way. Consciousness slowly begins to return, my weak body awakening. Heavy lids flutter, and I pry them open with slow force one at a time.
Blinking, the haze clouding my vision begins to clear, the grogginess dissipating minutely as I catch small glimpses of the room. Four white walls, a television bolted to one, a bathroom, and a door leading out of the room, a small window allowing bright rays of sunshine to trickle in. I still, my gaze falling to the woman’s head resting by my hand. Sitting in an uncomfortable looking plastic chair, she’s slumped forward, her head resting on her hands. Dark hair shrouds her face, obscuring my view. The pitter-patter of my pulse quickens.
Gradually raising my weak hand, I lift it to brush the hair back from her face. Panting with exertion, I freeze. Just enough of her hair fell away for me to catch the sleeping expression of my goddess. Kylee’s haggard appearance crushes my soul. Lowering my hand, I brush the errant curls away, cupping her cheek.
“Alex,” Kylee moans in her sleep.
Caressing her soft skin, I smile. It never fails to warm my heart to know she needs me. If only she knew how much I needed her. Running a thumb along her cheekbone, she startles, her eyes popping open.
“Alex?” she questions sleepily.
“Yes.” I croak, my dry, cracked throat making me wince from the pain.
Kylee snaps to attention, jackknifing to a stand, her chair skidding back several paces. Her eyes become alert, sleep fading as she takes in my appearance. Big fat teardrops begin pouring from her eyes.
“Oh my God, Alex. I am so sorry,” she cries, her tears coming faster.
“Shh.” I try to say, but the dryness in my throat makes it sound like a hiss.
“I am such a fool. This is all my fault, and I totally understand if you never want to see me again,” she raves, her rant causing panic to swell in my gut.
“I swear I will leave if that’s what you want, but I just had to make sure you were okay. I am so sorry.” She sobs uncontrollably.
Unable to speak, I try shaking my head to no avail. The stiffness from not moving for however long causes aches and pains to spiral throughout my frame. Inching my fingers toward her, I grasp her hand weakly. Giving it a sorry excuse for a tug, I try to pull her closer. Somehow, she gets my drift, shaking her head violently. A scowl immediately forms on my face.
“It’s not that I don’t want to, Alex. I just don’t want to hurt you.” She hiccups. Giving her finger another sad pull, I wait expectantly.
Gazing at me pensively, she says, “Let me call the nurse first. They need to know you’re awake, and I’m sure you could use some cool water. The stuff on your table isn’t cold anymore.”
Huffing, I nod, the gesture small and stiff. She’s stalling, I can feel it, and I aim to soothe her fears just as soon as she gets her little ass over here. Instead of pressing the call button, she stalks out of the room. A moment later, a whirlwind of activity streams through the door. Kylee bustles back in, taking a seat in the plastic chair by the window, her eyes cast down to the floor. A tall man in his mid to late fifties struts into the room, his Army fatigues covered only by a long white lab coat. Marching straight up to the bed, he takes the chart from the end, flipping it open. He studies it a second then walks over, blocking Kylee from my view. The urge to swat at him, batting him out of my way, rises. If only my body weren’t as weak as a newborn, I would do exactly that. Peering down over his metal frame glasses, he nods.
“Captain Grant. I’m doctor John Lucas. I’ve been overseeing your care for the last several weeks.”
“W-W . . .” I try to formulate words to speak but the rawness of my esophagus is too much. Wincing, I close my mouth, remaining silent. Dr. Lucas turns, eyeing one of the nurses.
“Retrieve some fresh water for Captain Grant right away, please,” he issues the soft command.
“Shelly should be back with it any . . .” The door opens, a bubbly blonde in subdued green scrubs walks in with a plastic cup, straw, and a pitcher of water. Pouring a glass, she puts the straw in, bends the tip, and fits it to my lips.
“Small sips. Don’t push yourself or you will get sick. And trust me, that won’t be fun.” Narrowing her eyes, she watches me like a hawk.
Straining, I force my muscles to work, sucking on the straw, flinching from pain until the first splash of cool liquid hits my palate. The soothing liquid coats the inside of my mouth, ridding it of the dry sand and cotton, sluicing down the walls of my throat, lubricating my vocal cords. All too soon, the nurse pulls the straw away.
“That’s enough. We’ll try again shortly. I need to make sure you can keep that down.” Backing away, she places the cup on the stand and gives me some space.
“Better?” the doctor asks.
“Much,” I rasp, my voice rattling from lack of use. Kylee’s gasp in the corner doesn’t escape my attention. Trying my best to see her without success, I groan.
“Are you in pain?” Dr. Lucas asks.
“Not in the way you’re thinking. I am sore as hell. I haven’t exactly had a moment to test out my body, so I can’t really answer your question honestly.” Tilting my head, I strain, trying to catch a glimpse of her. My neck pops, relief flooding my senses with the action.
“Kylee, come here, baby,” I rasp. She doesn’t move or answer.
Sighing, I look to the doctor expectantly. Maybe if I get him to hurry up I can assuage her fears.
“Right, well, I’m sure you have questions. So, let’s get those all answered,” he says, matter of fact.
“Where am I?” I interrupt, not al
lowing him to start his spiel.
“The U.S. Army Hospital on Yongsan.”
The doctor watches me, gauging my reaction to the news. Some of my weakness dissipates, allowing me to flex my fingers, curling them into the sheets.
“How long have I been here?” Doctor Lucas peers at me quizzically, no doubt a reaction to the hesitancy in my tone.
“You’ve been here for four weeks now, Captain. So it was high time you regained consciousness. Now, let’s talk about your injuries, shall we? What do you remember last?”
Panic constricts my throat. The image of Kylee’s bloody tear streaked face hovering over mine, telling me how much she loved me, begging me not to leave her.
“Breathe, Captain. That’s an order,” the doctor commands. Kylee stands off in the corner, her pallid face streaked with tears. Focusing on her wide, brown eyes, I pull in deep breaths, each invigorating my lungs, filling me with much-needed oxygen.
“Good,” Doctor Lucas appraises.
Without looking away from her wide-eyed expression, I give the doctor a recap of what my final memories were. After a moment, he nods and launches into a ten-minute explanation of the surgeries, recovery, and what to expect from here on out. After he leaves, I can’t help but send up a prayer of thanks to God. For two angels always there saving my ass in the nick of time. With Kylee’s tears long gone, she stares, her big eyes full of remorse.
Raising my arm as high as I can, I gesture for her to move closer. Shaking her head, she remains firmly rooted by the window.
“Kylee,” I growl.
Her eyes pop open, the irises swallowed up by her dark pupils. Panting, she looks from me to the door and back again, as if trying to make up her mind on whether she should bolt from the room or not. All-consuming terror sparks a blazing fire in my torso.
“Kylee, please. I’m begging you to stay with me. Don’t abandon me now, not after everything we’ve been through.”
Kylee shakes her head, crying loudly, her chest heaving through her sobs.
“God, baby. You’re killin’ me here. I hate it when you cry. Please, come here,” I openly beg.
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