The Autobiography of the Dark Prince

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The Autobiography of the Dark Prince Page 33

by Dan Wingreen


  The woman opened and closed her mouth several times like a fish that just discovered she was no longer in the sea before answering. "Oh. Um. Yes, I suppose they are." She flexed her hands a few times, but whatever the Prince did was obviously temporary since they were moving again. "I'm not sure what happened…" She frowned, and then her brain seemed to catch up to the rest of the conversation. "So…I am being interviewed?"

  "Of course," the Prince said with another smile. "Although I think it would be more comfortable"—the Prince shivered slightly—"to do this inside your…office."

  "Oh! Yes! Come right in, please." She stepped back and waved them both in. Or, rather, she waved her hand in their general direction while staring at Elias like she was afraid he would disappear if she took her eyes off of him. The Prince touched Elias on the shoulder, all but shoving him through the doorway before following a moment later. Elias glared at the Prince just in time to see him pull his many robes even more tightly around his body before following. He gave Elias a smile which would have been confident if his lips had less of a blueish tinge to them. Elias shook his head, but silently added the Prince's health to the list of reasons why he was going to take as little time as possible asking his questions, before turning his attention back to the rest of the room.

  Since the victims of the criminals Elias wrote about were long buried by the time he got around to actually writing his books, this was the first time Elias had ever been inside the coroner's office. He could easily see its beginnings as a storage room in the high ceiling and rough, cube-like shape of the room. The walls, floors, and ceiling were cut right into the stone, with no carpet or wood paneling to hide the unappealing, rocky texture. Carved into each wall were ten rectangular alcoves, and in some of them Elias could make out the feet of the corpses stored inside. In the center of the room was a large stone slab, also roughly carved except for the top, which was flat and polished to a mirror sheen. Hanging above was a large chandelier, which rivaled the one in the ballroom, lighting up the entire room so that not a single shadow was visible. On top of the slab lay what was clearly a body draped with a sheet.

  Elias couldn't decide whether he was disturbed or fascinated.

  "I'm afraid I don't have any chairs to offer," the woman said. "I don't exactly do much entertaining."

  She tittered. It was horrific.

  "That's perfectly all right," the Prince said smoothly even though he was visibly shivering, his breath visible in the freezing air as he walked into the room and gave it a glance. "I must say this is a lovely modern facility. Are those holes in the top of the slab for draining blood?"

  The woman nodded. "Oh. Yes. Yes, they are. They drain right into the underground river. There are also several on the floor as well, for any spillage."

  "Fascinating." The Prince smiled. He turned to Elias. "Don't you think so, my dear?"

  "Utterly," Elias said, surprised to realize he actually meant it.

  "Are…are you Mr Sutterby's literary agent?" the woman asked, glancing back and forth between them with a confused frown.

  "Ah, if only," the Prince said wistfully. "Alas, I shall have to make do with the pleasure of being dear Elias's intended future husband." He grinned, and gave the woman a short bow. "The Dark Prince of Mournhelm, at your service."

  The woman's eyes got so wide Elias was certain they were about to fall out at any moment, and he wondered why, since she was oddly obsessed with him, did she not know about his courtship. Surely, she must have come out of the basement at some point in the past few weeks.

  "Oh," she said breathlessly. She stared at them, only speaking again long after her attention started to make Elias uncomfortable. "The man who distills evil into its most basic, understandable form and the Prince of evil. It makes perfect sense."

  "Exactly!" The Prince rubbed his hands together, although if it was out of excitement or a desire to keep the blood flowing to his fingers Elias had no idea. "See? She understands us, Elias."

  "You're not that evil," Elias muttered before turning his attention to the woman. "And you must be the only person in the castle who didn't know about the Prince and me."

  "You're the first people I've talked to besides Dr Albright for three months," she said like it was nothing uncommon.

  Apparently coroners are much more isolated than I thought. Elias was slightly envious.

  The Prince, however, had already moved on.

  "And what would your name be, fair lady of the morgue?"

  "Husk," she said. "Dr Joshua Husk."

  Elias shared a disbelieving glance with the Prince.

  "Joshua?" the Prince asked.

  She shrugged. "My parents never really got over me being born a girl. Call me Husk or Dr Husk, everyone does."

  Elias wasn't sure he could do that. The woman was far too big for him to call her a name that sounded like "husky" without it feeling kind of cruel. Another shared glance with the Prince made Elias wonder if they were experiencing similar concerns. Although, this was the Dark Prince he was talking about.

  Come to think of it, why do I care?

  "What about your middle name?" Elias asked, putting aside the ruminations on his personality for the moment. "Surely that would be more appropriate?"

  Her cheeks reddened slightly, which was quite a feat in the freezing room. "My middle name is Brutus."

  "Well," the Prince said with a cheerful, blue-lipped grin. "Husk it is."

  Husk smiled slightly, although Elias was getting the distinct impression this was probably her least favorite conversation to have. "Thank you. Now…you said something about interviewing me for a book?" she asked hopefully.

  "Yes. Well, we're hopeful it will turn into a book, at least," the Prince said before Elias could respond. "You see, we heard about the unfortunate death of the poor marchioness, and being the gentlemen we are, we immediately went to her father to offer her our condolences…"

  Elias watched in awe as the Prince spun one of the most baldly false stories Elias had ever heard. He made it seem like their fictional conversation with Selma's father led them to stumble upon a series of murders, all bearing similar traits of execution, which had gone unnoticed due to the incompetence of the city guard. The story was so well told, and the Prince so believable, Elias had some small trouble remembering none of it actually happened.

  "—and once we discovered the guard commander hadn't yet received a coroner's report, we decided to come down and see for ourselves, since the body was the first one we had any chance of examining. If the guard refuses to properly do its job, then we shall do it for them. It is, after all, the least we could do for a dearly departed friend."

  Husk stared wide-eyed at the Prince for a long moment, before wetting her chapped lips with the tip of her tongue. "That," she said slowly, "was one of the most impressive pieces of bullshit I've ever heard."

  "I do try," the Prince said, smiling.

  Elias clenched his jaw. He was going to kill the Prince if he just ruined their chances to get an expert opinion on how Selma died.

  "So, why are you really here?" she asked, crossing her arms and fixing both of them with a stern glare. At least the Prince's story seemed to inoculate her to Elias's presence.

  "The Dark Prince is being accused of using magic to commit the marchioness's murder," Elias stated. "The guard is refusing to investigate other suspects, so we've taken it upon ourselves to find the actual murderer and clear his"—he stumbled slightly, almost saying the word "good" before he could catch himself—"name so his father, the Dark King, doesn't invade Ellington in retaliation for his son being arrested."

  Elias paused for—and he couldn't even believe he was doing this—dramatic effect, before pushing up his glasses and adding, "We think Spellings might be the murderer."

  Her expression, which had been softening as Elias spoke, went completely blank. She stared unblinkingly at Elias for a long moment, and he had to force himself not to hold his breath in nervous anticipation. If she threw them out, they w
ere right back where they started.

  "You really think Horace killed this girl?" she asked finally.

  "It's currently the best theory we have," Elias answered before the Dark Prince could do more than open his mouth. Somehow, he got the impression the doctor wouldn't be as receptive to the Prince as she was a few minutes ago. "But since we have no idea how she was murdered, we can't even determine if what killed her is within his capabilities. The official report said there weren't any wounds on the body, but if Spellings is the murderer, the official report is suspect at best. We need your help, if we're to solve the crime." He hesitated slightly, but since he had already dipped his toes into the waters of dramatization, he figured shoving his whole foot in wouldn't be too difficult to stomach. "I need your help."

  Husk pressed her lips together into a thin line, and Elias was sure he'd laid it on too thick. However, instead of yelling at him or throwing them out, Husk crooked a finger at him.

  "Follow me."

  Ignoring the smirk the Dark Prince sent him, Elias fell into step behind the doctor and followed her over to the slab with the sheet covered body. With a single, economical jerk, which contained no flourishes or fanfare of any kind—something Elias wholeheartedly approved of—she pulled the sheet away, revealing the naked body of Marchioness Selmanica Nesbeth.

  The completely unmarked body.

  "Your report was right about that, at least," Husk said. "Not so much as a bruise on her. Aside from a missing button on her dress she was absolutely pristine."

  Elias swallowed heavily and forced himself not to look away. Despite his areas of interest, this was the first time he'd ever actually seen a dead body, and he was unsure how he would react. He half expected to shiver or throw up or something equally embarrassing, but all he felt was a detached curiosity.

  I wonder what that says about me?

  "A missing button?" Elias asked.

  Husk shrugged. "I'm very thorough."

  "Hmm."

  Since the sight of a corpse apparently didn't disturb him in the least, he took the opportunity to study it as closely as possible. She really was in perfect condition, if a little ripe, although, upon closer inspection, he could see there was a large, purple bruise which seemed to vertically bisect her body.

  "I thought you said she was undamaged?" Elias asked.

  Husk shot him an approving smile, although he couldn't tell if it was for his observation or because he hadn't started vomiting all over himself at the sight of the body.

  "She is. That bruising is normal; the blood settling down in the body," she said. "When I got her, she was pristine. A prime specimen of womanhood."

  Elias raised an eyebrow and Husk flushed again.

  "You know, for a corpse," she said, looking away with an awkward shrug.

  "Ah." Elias shifted uncomfortably, hoping Husk was just attracted to women in general, instead of the other, much more disturbing option. He silently cursed the Prince for exposing him to unsettling perversions he would have been happy to remain ignorant of. "Is it too much to hope that you have any idea how she was killed?"

  Husk met his eyes, and even though the Prince was still behind him, Elias could practically see the anticipatory gleam in his eyes. Elias was sure his eyes held the same gleam, and this time he was unable to keep from holding his breath.

  "Not at all," Husk said. "Cause of death was a bit tricky to determine, but since I had nothing else to do it didn't take as long as it might have, if I was allowed to move the damned body to work on other cases."

  Elias huffed impatiently. "So what killed her?"

  "Poison?" the Dark Prince asked.

  Husk scoffed. "As if it would take me almost a full day to figure out she was poisoned. No, she was murdered by alchemy."

  Elias blinked.

  Well. That was certainly unexpected.

  "Alchemy?" the Prince asked. "To borrow a quote from someone I'm very fond of, that's ridiculous. No one in this backwards kingdom could possibly be proficient enough at alchemy to commit a murder. Especially not someone like…Horace, was it?"

  "Are you questioning my findings?" Husk asked, her voice dangerously low.

  "I'm questioning how you would even know to recognize alchemy," the Prince said in a tone of voice which implied he was also questioning the aforementioned option, as well as Husk's breeding. "I may not have been here long, but no one in Ellington has the mental discipline, let alone the attention span, to even consider studying alchemy. I refuse to accept that I spent the last forty minutes freezing half to death just to walk away with half-baked guesswork."

  Husk's face turned a very splotchy, angry shade of red. Whatever residual admiration she may have had for the Prince because of his connection to Elias had evidently run out.

  "I'll have you know I was trained by the best doctors on this whole continent! And they more than have the mental discipline and the attention span to know everything they need to know about anything they need to know!" she yelled.

  Elias tuned out the argument almost as soon as it began, lost in his own thoughts as he fit this new piece into his mental puzzle. Unlike the Prince, he had little doubts about Husk's competence—Dr Albright wouldn't work with anyone who was less than brilliant—and it barely took any time at all before the picture which had been so helplessly jumbled before started to take shape. Because the Prince was wrong about one other thing as well. There was at least one person in Ellington who had a long standing interest in alchemy. Elias had even helped him find a few books on the subject.

  "—might as well have been educated by a stillborn toad!"

  The Dark Prince was about to expand on his no doubt cutting insult, when Elias spoke.

  "I know who did it."

  "And—" That was all the Prince got out before he faltered. He furrowed his brow as he looked at Elias, almost like he'd forgotten the scholar was there. "You know which stillborn toad educated the gender challenged medical neophyte?"

  "I'm not fucking gender chall—"

  "No," Elias snapped, cutting Husk off. "I know who killed Selma."

  The silence that fell was as instantaneous as it was pleasing.

  "Well," the Dark Prince said impatiently. "Who was it?"

  Elias smiled.

  Chapter 28

  After leaving the basement and changing into cooler clothing as he explained the basics of his latest theory, Elias wasn't at all surprised when the Dark Prince once again insisted he not go alone to confront their new suspect. He'd wanted to argue—mostly out of habit, not that he would ever admit it—but the Prince raised a very good point. Questioning guard commanders and elderly poisoners carried a manageable level of risk. The worst a guard commander would do would be to refuse to see Elias—or so they thought at the time at least—and it was easy enough to avoid poison by refusing food or drink and not touching anything which could contain a stealthily placed needle. Confronting an alchemist, especially one who had already used his art to commit murder, brought an entirely different level of risk. Alchemy was, in simple terms, the art of changing one object into another using various chemicals which harnessed the latent magic floating throughout the world. Anything in an alchemist's possession could literally be anything at all. And it was very hard to protect oneself against everything. So Elias didn't even put up a token protest.

  The Prince had seemed oddly disappointed for someone who was getting what he wanted without any fuss.

  Sparing no further thought to the Prince and his proclivity for provocation, Elias led him through the castle to one of the few corridors the scholar had never been to, Chappy following behind at a distance. It was part of the original castle, however, designed by scholars, and as a result the layout was eminently logical. Which meant Elias had very little trouble navigating his way to the set of rooms he was looking for. The wooden door they stopped in front of was solid, if slightly worn, giving it an air of slight neglect that doors protecting dukes and princes and royal guests lacked. The Dark Prince looked at the
door for a moment, then glanced at Elias, raising a questioning eyebrow. Elias nodded, and the Prince shrugged, then knocked.

  For a long moment there was absolute silence, then the sounds of locks unclasping came through the door before it was pulled open, revealing the corpulent and expensively robed form of Baron Connolly.

  His wild, bloodshot eyes widened as they fell upon Elias.

  "O-oh. Elias. Wh-what a nice surpr—" The rest of the baron's words died as his gaze slid past Elias and he noticed the Dark Prince standing at his side.

  The color bled from the baron's face before he let out a high-pitched squeak and slammed the door in their faces. Elias exchanged glances with the Prince.

  "Certainly seems like the action of a guilty man to me," the Prince said cheerfully.

  "Not necessarily," Elias felt the need to point out. "He was rather afraid of you when you showed up in the library."

  The Prince scoffed. "Oh, please, did you not see his eyes? He's paranoid and obviously not sleeping well. Don't second guess yourself now, my dear. You were so sure he was our killer not even half an hour ago."

  Elias could have pointed out that his earlier surety was based as much on gut feeling as it was on fact, but decided there was little point. "We still need evidence."

  "Then evidence we shall have." The Prince smirked before turning back to the door. His eyes flashed purple and the wooden portal was blown off its hinges, shattering into splinters as it flew into the baron's quarters. There was a shriek from inside, and the Prince's smirk widened.

  "Follow me, my dear," he said before sweeping through the now open doorway.

  Even though the Prince was facing away, Elias indulged himself with an eye roll before following. Chappy elected to remain outside in the hall.

 

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