by Cynthia Hand
“Fun! Why didn’t I get to come?” Bastian says. “I love road trips.”
“With my dad,” I clarify.
He snorts. “With your dad? How was that?”
“It was fun, actually.” Nyla casts me a meaningful look. “It was quality parental time. Time for good conversation. You know. About the things we want in life.”
I shake my head slightly. No, I still haven’t told my dad that I don’t want to go to BSU. I mean, it’s only been a few days. I’m working up to it.
Bastian’s eyebrows rumple. “I can’t even get my dad off the couch most of the time.” He shakes his head. “Where’d you go on this amazing road trip?”
“Boise,” I answer. “We were checking out Idaho colleges.”
Bastian nods. “Time to start applying soon.”
“Yep. I need to be doing that. Now, I guess. Or, according to my guidance counselor, like yesterday.”
“And?”
“And what?” I’m not sure what he’s asking.
“And which colleges did you decide you want to apply to?”
“Oh . . . I don’t know.”
Nyla scoffs. “Come on, Cass. You do know.” She smiles at Bastian. “I would like to go to USC. That’s my first choice. But I’m also applying to California Institute of the Arts, DePaul, Northwestern, Carnegie Mellon, the New School, Pace, Rutgers, Brown, and . . .” She looks away from me. “Juilliard.”
What? The green monster rears its ugly head at once. But . . . but Nyla always said she didn’t want to go to Juilliard.
“Well, Juilliard’s the dream for every actor, obviously,” Bastian says. “So not Idaho for you, huh, Nyles?”
She gives me a slightly guilty, sympathetic pout. “Not Idaho. How about you? Are you planning to go to college and be a theater major?”
“Yes,” he says with a determined look in his eyes. “But I already know where.”
“Oh, really? Do tell,” I say.
“I’m going to College of Idaho.”
Nyla and I exchange thunderstruck glances. Oh, come on, universe. Seriously?
“College of Idaho?” I get out after about a minute of sputtering.
“Yeah. I’ve always wanted to go there.” He starts talking up the class size, small, so you really get to know the professors. The honors dorm. The SUB with its little black box space in the basement.
“But did you see the main theater? The one with the white marble lobby?” I’m leaning forward across the table. I can’t help myself.
“Yeah, that’s Langroise Hall,” he says. “That theater’s pretty damn sexy. There’s something about it.”
“Totally sexy,” I breathe. “I know.”
“Oh my gosh, I can’t decide if I need to leave you two alone or drive you to Caldwell right now,” Nyla says with a roll of her eyes.
Bastian laughs. “So I take it you want to go to C of I, too, Cass?”
“I do.” I sigh. “I really do.” It’s a little embarrassing, how completely in love I am now with C of I, when only a week ago I had such deep feelings for Juilliard. But that’s life, I guess. You fall in love with a place. You get your heart broken. You move on.
“Now she has to break it to her father,” Nyla adds.
I prop my chin on my hand. “My dad has a thing for Boise State.”
“Ah.” Bastian nods. Sighs. “My parents, too. They don’t trust any college with the word ‘liberal’ in the description.”
“Did you explain what ‘liberal arts’ actually means?”
“They don’t care.”
“Cass’s dad isn’t like that,” Nyla points out. “He’s going to be absolutely fine with Cass going to C of I. Provided that Cass ever tells him that’s where she wants to go.”
“I’m going to tell him, Ny,” I say, frowning. “I just haven’t had the right opportunity.”
“Uh-huh.”
I shoot her my “back off” look.
“How’s your state drama scene with Alice going?” Nyla asks Bastian, seamlessly pivoting the conversation. I want to laugh at her, because she’s asking all nonchalantly like she doesn’t care, she’s only curious, but I can tell she’s sizing him up as competition. “It’s only like a week away, now. The pressure’s on.”
“Oh, we’re doing great,” he says. “Alice is hilarious, and I adore Neil Simon plays. It’s like the perfect scene for us—we’re a married couple having our first big fight. It’s super funny. What are you two doing?”
“The—”
“It’s a secret,” Nyla interrupts before I can spill the beans. “A secretive secret type of secret that we can’t tell anybody, under penalty of death.”
Way to be melodramatic, Ny, I think. She’s way too competitive for her own good. And it’s not like she wants to win because of the scholarship, which she obviously doesn’t need.
Bastian looks suitably impressed at her pronouncement. “Oh. I see. Well, I’m sure you’re going to be amazing.”
“Darned right we’re going to be amazing,” Nyla says.
“But you’re amazing, too,” I say to Bastian. “I mean, you’re going to be amazing.”
“Let’s all be amazing,” he says wisely.
Indeed.
The check comes, and Nyla pays for my pie and hers, saying, “It’s my turn, right?” so Bastian won’t know it’s always her turn, and we gather up our stuff. A blast of cold air hits us when we come out the door. Fall is about to give in to winter, any second now.
I shiver, and Bastian throws his arm around me as we traverse the parking lot. He pulls me into his chest. My heart starts to gallop.
“You’re going to College of Idaho,” he sings.
Dear God, I hope so.
“I’m also going to College of Idaho,” he continues. “We’re going to be in plays together. And have classes together. And hang out together all the time.”
“Yes, I think that’s what that means,” says Nyla sharply.
“So it’s destiny,” he says, the sparkle coming back into his dark eyes. “We’re going to be the best of friends.”
Right, I think, staring at him. Friends.
14
“Hey, Boo,” Dad says as I come into the house. He’s standing at the stove, stirring his homemade marinara sauce. The house smells like basil. “How’s it hanging, Supergirl?”
I march right up to him. I’m not going to wait. I’m going to tell him right fricking now. “Dad, we need to talk.”
He stops stirring and looks vaguely worried. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“I wanted to talk to you, too,” he says. “I’ve had something on my mind since our trip.”
“Oh? Okay. Well, you go first, then.”
“All right.” He puts the wooden spoon down and goes to the office. He comes back holding an envelope.
What is it with my dad and mysterious envelopes?
“What’s this?” I ask.
“In the car you were asking how I know the things I know about your birth mother.”
My birth mother. Here we go. I suck in a breath. “Yeah?”
He hands me the envelope. It’s a regular, business-sized envelope, but it’s yellowed with age and stuffed with so much paper it’s almost bursting. I’ve never seen it before. I open it and unfold the papers.
“Filing of Required Non-Identifying Health, Genetic, and Social Histories with the Idaho Adoption Registry,” is what the top sheet says.
“It occurred to me,” Dad says, “that we never let you read this yourself. I mean, at first you were too little to read anything, and then we kind of forgot about it, if I’m being honest. But it’s yours. She filled it out. For you.”
“Who filled it out?” I ask.
“Your birth mother.”
I can’t talk. I swallow, hard.
“That’s everything we know about her,” Dad says. “I think you deserve to know, too.”
NON-IDENTIFYING INFORMATION FOR ADOPTION REGISTRY
SOC
IAL AND HEALTH HISTORY☑ Birth mother ☐ Birth father
The information in this report has been provided by the birth parent.
The Bureau of Vital Records is not responsible for the accuracy of this information.
DESCRIPTION OF SELF
Marital Status: ☑ Single ☐ Married ☐ Separated ☐ Divorced ☐ Widowed
If married or separated: ☐ Civil marriage ☐ Religious ceremony (specify)
Are you an enrolled member of a Native American tribe, Alaskan village, or affiliated with a tribe? ☐ Yes ☑ No If yes, what tribe?
Religion:
Christian
Ethnic background (e.g., English, German, etc.):
German, Irish, Italian
Country or state of birth:
Idaho
Race (e.g., Black, White, American Indian, Japanese, etc.):
White
Height:
5'3"
Weight:
115
Hair color and texture:
brown, straight
Eye color:
blue
Unique physical features (e.g., freckles, moles, etc.):
freckles
Complexion: ☑ Fair ☐ Medium ☐ Olive ☐ Dark
☐ Right-handed ☑ Left-handed
Physical build (e.g., big/small boned, long/short limbed, muscular, etc.):
average
Talents, hobbies, and other interests:
Music (listening to), movies, concerts. I tried being on the school newspaper staff this year but had to quit.
Which of the following describe your personality (check all that apply): ☐ Aggressive ☐ Emotional ☐ Happy ☑ Rebellious ☑ Shy ☐ Serious ☑ Calm ☐ Friendly ☑ Irresponsible ☐ Fun ☐ Temperamental ☐ Critical ☐ Outgoing ☑ Stubborn ☑ Unhappy
Comments:
EDUCATION
Last grade level completed:
10th
Average grade received or GPA:
C student
Presently in school: ☑ Yes ☐ No
Future plans for schooling:
Graduate from high school.
Subjects you are interested in:
Music?
Any school-related problems or challenges (tutoring, Special Ed, etc.):
Not really.
EMPLOYMENT HISTORY
Current occupation:
Military service: ☐ Yes ☑ No If yes, branch of service:
Vocational training:
Work history:
I worked at Target last summer.
FAMILY HISTORY
Was anyone in your family adopted? ☐ Yes ☑ No If yes, who?
Your order of birth (e.g., 1st of 4):
2nd of 3?
Personal relationships with parents, siblings, or extended family members:
I live with my dad and stepmom. We don’t get along very well. I see my mom and half sister once a year. I’m close with my older brother, but he’s in college so I don’t get to see him much.
Summarize adjustment to pregnancy. Include how you and your parents adjusted to the pregnancy, and if you had peer support:
My dad/stepmom suggested I go to Booth, so I wouldn’t be embarrassed. They are embarrassed. My mom has been fairly supportive. I’ve had lots of peer support at school.
YOUR BIRTH PARENTS (child’s grandparents)
FATHER
Age (if deceased, state age at time of death):
46
Health problems:
High blood pressure
Height/weight:
5'11", 200 lbs
Hair/eye color:
brown, brown
Build: ☐ Small ☑ Medium ☐ Large ☐ Extra large
Complexion: ☐ Fair ☑ Medium ☐ Olive ☐ Dark
Right-/left-handed:
right
Description of personality (e.g., happy, shy, stubborn, etc.):
outgoing, honest, critical
Talents, hobbies, interests:
politics, golf, skiing
Education:
college
Occupation:
lawyer
Number of siblings:
2
Race (Black, White, American Indian, etc.):
white
Ethnic background (e.g., German, English, etc.):
German/English
Religion:
Presbyterian
Marital status: ☐ Single ☑ Married ☐ Separated ☑ Divorced ☐ Widowed
Aware of this pregnancy? ☑ Yes ☐ No
MOTHER
Age (if deceased, state age at time of death):
44
Health problems:
Height/weight:
5'2", 100 lbs
Hair/eye color:
brown, blue
Build: ☑ Small ☐ Medium ☐ Large ☐ Extra large
Complexion: ☑ Fair ☐ Medium ☐ Olive ☐ Dark
Right-/left-handed:
left
Description of personality (e.g., happy, shy, stubborn, etc.):
hot-tempered but forgiving, energetic
Talents, hobbies, interests:
ballet, skiing, tennis
Education:
college
Occupation:
ballet teacher
Number of siblings:
0
Race (Black, White, American Indian, etc.):
white
Ethnic background (e.g., German, English, etc.):
Irish/Italian
Religion:
Agnostic
Marital status: ☐ Single ☑ Married ☐ Separated ☑ Divorced ☐ Widowed
Aware of this pregnancy? ☑ Yes ☐ No
YOUR BIRTH BROTHERS AND SISTERS (child’s uncles and aunts)
1) ☑ BROTHER ☐ SISTER
Age (if deceased, state age at time of death):
22
Health problems:
Height/weight:
5'11", no idea
Hair/eye color:
brown, blue
Build: ☐ Small ☑ Medium ☐ Large ☐ Extra large
Complexion: ☐ Fair ☑ Medium ☐ Olive ☐ Dark
Right-/left-handed:
right
Talents, hobbies, interests:
football, wrestling, baseball
Education:
high school, some college
Occupation:
student
Religion:
Christian
Marital status: ☑ Single ☐ Married ☐ Separated ☐ Divorced ☐ Widowed
Aware of this pregnancy? ☐ Yes ☑ No
2) ☐ BROTHER ☑ SISTER
Age (if deceased, state age at time of death):
7
Health problems:
Height/weight:
4' or so, 60 lbs
Hair/eye color:
blond, blue
Build: ☑ Small ☐ Medium ☐ Large ☐ Extra large
Complexion: ☑ Fair ☐ Medium ☐ Olive ☐ Dark
Right-/left-handed:
left
Talents, hobbies, interests:
Candy Land, My Little Pony, Legos
Education:
grade school, kindergarten
Occupation:
kid
Religion:
Agnostic
Marital status: ☑ Single ☐ Married ☐ Separated ☐ Divorced ☐ Widowed
Aware of this pregnancy? ☐ Yes ☑ No
MEDICAL HISTORY
Please indicate “None” or “You” if you or any genetic relatives (i.e., your mother, father, sisters, brothers, grandparents, uncles, aunts, or any other children you have had) ever had or now has any of the medical conditions listed below. Please explain in the comments section.
Baldness:
Dad
Birth defects: None
Clubfoot: None
Cleft palate: None
Congenital heart disease: None
Cancer:
Grandp
a, bladder cancer
Other: None
ALLERGIES
Animals: None
Asthma: None
Eczema: None
Food:
Sister. Allergic to peanuts.
Hay fever/Plants:
Mom.
Hives: None
Medications:
Dad. Blood pressure meds.
Other allergies: None
Other (specify): None
VISUAL IMPAIRMENT
Astigmatism:
Mom. Wears glasses.
Blindness: None
Color blindness:
Dad. Also my brother.
EMOTIONAL/MENTAL ILLNESS
Bipolar (manic depressive): None
Schizophrenia: None
Severe depression:
Dad. After the divorce.
Suicide: None
Obsessive-compulsive disorder: None
Personality disorder: None
Alcoholism/drug addiction:
Dad. He also drank too much for a while.
Other (specify): None
HEREDITARY DISEASES
Cystic fibrosis: None
Galactosemia: None
Hemophilia: None
Huntington’s disease: None
Hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism: None
CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE
Heart attack:
Grandma. On my dad’s side, in her 50s.
Heart murmur: None
High blood pressure:
Dad
Diabetes: None
SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES
Gross. I really hope not!
Chlamydia: None
Gonorrhea: None
Herpes: None
Syphilis: None
HIV/AIDS: None
Other (specify): None
NEUROLOGICAL DISORDERS
Cerebral palsy: None
Muscular dystrophy: None
Multiple sclerosis: None
Epilepsy: None
Stroke: None
Rheumatic fever: None
Other (specify): None
DEVELOPMENTAL DISORDERS
Learning disability / ADHD: None
Mental retardation (specify type): None
Down syndrome: None
Speech or hearing problems: None
Low birth weight: None
Other (specify): None
HISTORY OF DRUG USE
PRESCRIPTION:
Specify type (e.g., Prozac, Accutane, etc.)
☐ Before conception ☐ After conception
OVER-THE-COUNTER:
Specify type (e.g., diet pills, antihistamine, etc.)
☐ Before conception ☐ After conception
OTHER TYPES OF DRUGS USED:
Alcohol
Specify type:
Beer, rum and Coke, vodka