by C. Lesbirel
“Hope, get on over here.” He puts down his tools and wipes the sweat from his brow as I follow the narrow stone path to where he is and give him a hug. His attention flies straight over my shoulder to where Sullivan is standing, saying something to my mom that causes her to laugh.
Surely his charm alone isn’t going to be enough to win my parents over? They have hoped I’ll marry someone from our church community since I was old enough to walk.
“This is my boyfriend, Sullivan.”
Sullivan smirks, and I roll my eyes. What was I supposed to say? Meet Sullivan, my baby daddy?
My dad picks up on the private look that passes between us. No matter how old I get I’ll always be his baby girl, and he has that protective paternal instinct that never misses a trick when it comes to his daughter.
“Sullivan, this is my dad, Greg.”
“I could have guessed that a mile off. Pleased to meet you. Is there anything I can give you a hand with?” Sullivan eyes the wheelbarrow full of weeds my dad has just pulled from the earth, and my dad simply nods.
“Well, you could empty that barrow onto the compost heap for me, if you wouldn’t mind. That would be a great help.”
Sullivan claps his hands together, and in a few short strides he’s grabbing a hold of the wheelbarrow, getting to work. I pass him a look of disbelief mingled with apology, and he throws me a flirty wink before turning to push the wheelbarrow over to the pile of crap in the corner of our back garden.
“We’ll go and fix you two boys a cool drink,” my mom announces promptly followed by a head jerk that demands I go with her, leaving my dad and Sullivan alone to talk.
I glance back to my hunk of a man who is being closely followed by my dad, probably to make sure he’s emptying the weeds in exactly the right spot. He’s meticulous when it comes to his gardening.
Reluctantly, I leave them behind to make drinks with my mom and get the third degree on my new boyfriend.
“So?” she asks as we step inside.
“So what?”
“Don’t so what me, young lady. Tell me everything. Where did you meet, are you two serious, is he the one?”
“Okay, alright, slow down.” I giggle. “At work, yes, and I don’t know.”
“Is he a singer too?”
That only makes me giggle more, the thought of Sullivan letting loose with a guitar is something I can’t quite picture.
“Actually, he’s my tour pilot.”
“He flies planes for a living? Holy crap, I bet he’s really rich.”
“Mom! What has gotten into you? I was dreading bringing him home, and it’s like you’re a whole other person than the mom I saw last year. That woman would be completely going crazy and not in a good way.”
She catches my wrist and stills me from drying some glasses from the drain rack. Her expression turns the most serious I’ve seen since I arrived, and I brace myself for the talk I was expecting to get when I got here.
“A lot happened while you’ve been away, sweetie. There’s been some changes around here.”
“What? What kind of changes? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I did. I spoke to you a few times, but it never seemed like the right time to tell you.”
“Tell me what? Are you and Dad okay?”
“We’re getting there. You’re dad’s been struggling with his depression again. It’s been a long road, but he’s coming through the other side now. I think he’s finally found some light again, and I know that even if he doesn’t show it, he’s so excited that you’re here.”
“Oh, Mom. I wish I’d known. I had no idea.”
“Well, it’s not the kind of thing you can just up and call someone about. There’s nothing you could have done anyway. Nothing any of us can do. It’s got to come from him.”
“But he’s doing better?”
“Yes, definitely. He’s up and out in that garden at the crack of dawn, and it’s given him a real focus. He’s even thinking of selling plants from the front porch to some of the neighbors.”
“That’s awesome, I’m just glad he’s okay. I hope you know I’m here for you. I have money for whatever you need. Doctors. Therapists. You don’t have to worry about any of that.”
“I know, sweetie, but honestly, we don’t need anything from you. All we want is for you to be happy. I know how much pressure we’ve put on you in the past, but I’ve done a lot of thinking recently. Your dad and I have reflected a lot; we’ve prayed a lot too. Things are going to be different from now on. No more secrets. Do you understand?”
I nod my head, feeling a little nauseous, and I’m not sure if it’s just guilt for not being here when they needed me or whether I’m actually going to throw up. Wrapping my arms around my mom, I hug her real tight and know exactly what I need to do. It’s time to be honest about the chaos I’m in, even if it’s not what they want to hear.
“I am happy, Mom.”
“I could see that from the minute you pulled into the driveway. Your daddy’s eyes have always given you away. You like this man, don’t you?”
“He’s incredible. We have so much fun together, but at the same time, he isn’t afraid to challenge me and put me in my place. I know this is going to seem really fast, and I don’t want you to worry or panic or anything, but I’m pregnant, Mom. We’re going to have a baby.”
31
Sullivan
“My daughter’s a good kid, Sullivan. She’d kill me for saying it; she needs a real man to take care of her. I’m not doubting you for a second, but I’m her dad. If I don’t ask the awkward questions, then who will?”
“Go for it.” I shrug, grabbing a spade and digging into the square of earth he’s roped me into helping out with.
“It’s clean cut really. I just want to know what your intentions are.”
“I just want to make your daughter happy, Greg. That’s it in a nutshell.”
He slaps me on the back. “That’s all there is, boy. In the end, that’s what it all comes down to.”
“Can I ask you something now?”
“Of course. Ask me anything you like.”
“I know you’re a Christian family, and although I’m not a church goer or anything, I respect your values. I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to talk with you again, so I know it might seem too soon, but I got to ask. How would you feel about giving me your blessing if I was to ask Hope to marry me?”
“I’d say you’ve got a nerve, boy.” His eyes narrow to a stern glare as he eyes me over the top of his glasses. “I like that. I also trust my daughter. If you make her happy, then I'm not going to stand in your way. Just don’t hurt her because Christian or not, I’ll have to shoot your ass, and I don’t want blood on my hands.”
“You can count on me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for your daughter,” I reassure him.
Thinking how true that statement is, a few months ago, I would have never entertained the idea of asking someone to marry me. Now, I’m in Nashville helping my girlfriend’s dad in the garden and expecting a baby. Even referring to her as my girlfriend feels weird, but she’s the one who introduced me as her boyfriend. I guess you could call us that, but it doesn’t seem right since we’re having a baby together.
One thing weighs heavy at the forefront of my mind. Meeting Hope’s family is one thing but introducing her to mine is another one altogether.
My family is cautious by nature. Suspicious is their default mode, and generally speaking, the Parkers don’t take kindly to newcomers. Especially women.
But, I’m quietly confident they’ll see that Hope’s different.
The fact she’s successful in her own right, no one can accuse her of sponging off me, and that’s a huge swing in her favor.
“My only worry, and I’ve got to be honest with you, is your age. How are you going to provide for my daughter? She needs a man who’s able to take care of her, have you thought about how you’ll do that?”
I hesitate before answering. Hope’s par
ents are humble, salt of the earth people, and I would never want to insult them by coming off flashy. “I’m in a very fortunate position where I have a solid career I love, and I’m more than capable of providing for anything Hope could ever need.”
“That’s good to hear. Money isn’t everything, but it certainly helps when crap hits the fan, and believe you me, in marriage, there’ll be plenty of curveballs where you’ll need a steady income to see you through. Let’s get inside, I want to spend some time with my daughter.” Greg closes down the conversation and leads the way back into their family kitchen where we find Hope and her mom hugging each other like someone just told them they’re going to be ripped apart forever.
When they look up to greet us, both of them wipe their eyes, doing nothing to disguise the fact that they’ve been crying.
I look to Hope for an explanation, narrowing my eyes at her and am surprised when she sneaks me a little nod to confirm what I instantly suspected. Her mom knows.
“Sit down, Greg.” Beth pulls out a chair and plants a glass of lemonade on the table in front of him. “Hope’s got something to share with us.”
Hope takes the seat opposite Greg, and I follow suit, taking the one next to her. Beth busies herself at the sink as though she needs to keep working to process the news.
“Dad, I wasn’t going to tell you this today, and really, it’s too soon, but I want you to know that Sullivan makes me so happy. That’s why I wanted you to meet him. He’s become really important to me in these last few weeks, and we’re actually expecting a baby together.”
Greg’s jaw locks. He says absolutely nothing, and for a few minutes I wonder whether he’s going to throw the kitchen table at us. Instead, I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows down hard, and his eyes glaze over as though he’s suppressing tears from falling.
Hope rushes to his side, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and covering her hand over his. “I know this is a lot to take in, Dad. It was for me too. But I really believe this has happened for a reason and that God has given me this baby to love and care for. Please don’t be upset; I can’t stand it.”
After the longest silence in the history of silences, he glances up at Hope and replies, “I’m not upset. I’m just emotional because I’m your dad. I never thought this day would come. I thought with you focusing so hard on your career, you’d never settle down and have kids of your own.”
“We’re going to be grandparents, Greg. Can you believe it?” Beth claps her hands together and moves to take hold of her husband's shoulders, and I recognize a love between them that my own parents share.
“Oh, I can believe it alright. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
“Amen,” Beth murmurs, and Hope flashes me a small smile. Whatever she told Beth, I’m guessing she skipped the part that explains we’re not actually together and she’s planning to bring up the baby on her own. Over my dead body.
“Have you made plans about where you’ll live. What about your music?”
“We’re still working out the details. I’m really not sure what life’s going to look like when the baby comes, but I’ll still be making music. I could never give that up.”
“I think for now, we need to just take things one day at a time,” I chip in.
“That sounds sensible to me,” Beth replies before talking pregnancy details with Hope and leaving me to wonder about what life will look like for us after the baby arrives.
My job, although flexible, is demanding, and I want to be there for Hope and our son or daughter as much as I can be. I don’t know how the hell I’m going to do that when I spend most of my time in the air. All I do know is that I have to figure out a way.
32
Hope
The afternoon with my family goes a thousand times better than I could have ever imagined, and as we make our way to meet Sullivan’s family and share the news with them, I can’t help thinking that the only person who seems to have a problem with Sullivan’s age or the entire relationship, is me.
“Na ah.” He swiftly guides my shoulders to the seat on the left side of the cockpit as we step inside the plane ready to fly to Florida.
“What are you doing?”
“Putting you in the pilot seat. I already told you, no more being a passenger in your own life, golden girl.”
“You have to be kidding. I can’t fly this thing.”
“I promise you, you can.”
“No, Sullivan, on a serious level, there’s no way in hell I’m flying this plane anywhere.”
A few moments later we’re racing down the runway towards take off. I may be screaming a little and quite possibly have peed myself a bit, but I’m doing it.
Sullivan is so calm and relaxed, telling me which controls to maneuver and when.
I can only imagine that this feels the same as if someone hijacked your car, held a gun to your head and tells you to drive.
“Okay, this is it,” he instructs me as the front wheels leave the ground, and I feel the plane take off.
“Hope.”
“Hmmm?” I squeak through tightly pressed together lips.
“You should probably open your eyes.”
“Oh crap. Sorry,” I say, opening my eyes and see that we’re around one thousand feet in the air and climbing.
The view of Nashville beneath us is possibly the most gorgeous I’ve ever seen.
“It’s okay, I got you. I think this is the part where I say I told you so.”
All I can do is roll my eyes but not without grinning.
His flirty banter keeps me feeling fairly relaxed. Now when we arrive in Florida and wait for his brother, Jaxon, to pick us up at the airport, my nerves begin to kick in.
“And then the baby came out, and there was like ten of them, all wearing little Santa hats…”
“Hmm?”
“I was making a point. You’ve been on a different planet since we landed. I told you, stop panicking. Whatever people think, it doesn’t matter. It’s our lives, not theirs.”
“This isn’t just people, Sullivan. It’s your entire family,” I point out.
Checking my phone again, I decide to take the bull by the horns and change the passwords on my social media accounts. Simon has shared a few posts about the tour and announced they’ll be back with new tour dates soon.
I snap a picture of my feet next to my Louis Vuitton suitcase and post it with the caption: #backonmyfeet.
Immediately, the comments start flooding in, and my eyes can’t scan them quickly enough.
To my surprise, they’re all supportive people wishing me well and asking if I’m going to continue the tour.
I wish I had the answers they needed, but I truly don’t. Not until I’ve looked over my contract which I managed to pick up from my parents’ place.
“This is it, no backing out now.” Sullivan shakes my shoulders from behind before stepping forward as a sporty black Range Rover pulls up in front of us and a tall man jumps out to help with our bags.
“What’s happening, kids?” Sullivan’s brother asks as he steps towards us, and I smile. He’s basically a lighter-haired version of Sullivan. Broad shoulders, a strong square jaw covered in dark stubble and a smile to rival his brother’s. I hadn’t realized how alike they’d both be, in looks and with their arrogant mannerisms. This guy was acutely aware that every woman within ten yards of us has now stopped what they’re doing to stare lustfully in the direction of the two hot men and their fancy SUV.
With a baseball cap, sunglasses and a hoodie on, I’m not recognized, and that’s a rarity when landing in a Florida airport. Maybe it’s because Sullivan commands so much attention I fade into the background. I’m more than happy to take that position, for now.
“This is my brother, Jaxon. Jaxon, this is my girlfriend, Hope.”
His brother’s sunglasses tilt towards mine as he regards me for a minute before shrugging and giving his verdict. “Cute.”
C
ute? What the fuck did that mean? I’m guessing from Sullivan’s smirk it’s supposed to be a good thing.
I let him grab my case and jump in the back seat, wondering what I’m getting myself into if the rest of the Parker brothers are anything like these two. It’s going to be an interesting evening.
“Is everyone home?” Sullivan asks.
“The whole squad,” Jaxon confirms. “Except Liam, obviously. Mom said she’s going to try and catch him on FaceTime, but apparently, he’s been too busy to call home recently, and she’s not a happy bunny about it, to say the least.”
“Time for you to step in as CEO, then?”
“Fuck that, I have a life to live,” his brother scoffs. “You can fucking do it if you’re so concerned.”
“There’s not a chance in hell Dad’s going to agree to letting his youngest son run the entire company. Anyway, I’m only twenty-six, it would practically be child cruelty.”
I giggle along with them and check my phone again. The more I begin to feel like myself, the more I want to get back to some kind of normalcy and start working again, even if it’s going to be a long hard road.
My fans deserve the truth, and I haven’t come this far to only give up. There aren’t many artists whose careers span across decades the way mine does, and I’m not about to let it slip away from me.
I am going to make sure my comeback is bigger and better than anything I’ve done before. As we drive through Florida, I open the notes app on my phone and begin to string together some lyrics. Only a few, but it’s more than I’ve had in months, and it’s definitely something to build on.
33
Sullivan
Shiloh’s eyes fall on Hope before they hit mine, and she passes a warning glance that matches my mom’s death stare. Both Parker women don’t agree on much, but one thing they always agree on is that no woman is good enough for any of us. I ignore them, and thankfully, Hope appears to be oblivious to the masked hostility as Mom ushers us inside where a buffet dinner is spread out on the kitchen countertop ready for our arrival.