While she goes left I go right into the bathroom to handle my business. After washing up, I head to the balcony leaning right shouldered against the door frame when I arrive. As I was approaching, Bella had finished inspecting the balcony, now on her pad. "You're such a princess," I say while she is relieving herself. Bella looks up at me with what I swear, is a doggie smirk which says "AHHH RELIEF!"
Living on the elevated 9th floor has its perks. Taking my gaze off Bell's. I look out across the New York city skyline. I see a view of buildings, cars, the Major Deegan Highway. Trees covered with green robust leaves, a blue clear sky and people bustling below. Some strutting flesh-revealing clothes. Some look hot. Then there are those showing spare tires. Using a blouse or shirt owned by their 15 yr old and thinking it makes them look HOT! COME ON! Anyway, from this vantage point however, Most mornings, I get to see a wonderful sunrise the most beautiful colors of orange, gold copper rays during sunsets.
Now if only mother nature would spare us from the clothes sticking high humidity accompanying the FREAKIN Ninety-two degrees predicted for today! Making liar's of the meteorologist's forecast of scattered rain showers. This day be perfect. since for the first time EVER I will take “Monk” Carmen with me to the Pride parade.
Looking at this 5'4" frail appearing elder she-wulf, you would never imagine her position to be Beta of our legendary pack. Carmen "flaca" Has shoulder length smoke gray-black hair falling in soft curls just past her shoulder. Her eyes are like little black orbs appearing bigger as she often wears her glasses to look through. "Alejandro if anyone TOUCHES ME I am BREAKING THEIR HANDS." Was her warning when she accepted my invite. "Flaca," I said to her "This will be your first experience amongst gay humans who will be busy cheering, screaming, while carrying the rainbow flag, OR RAINBOW BODY PAINTING IT on themselves! As they walk by in thongs howling the symbol of unity for all gay people and supporters." Her response?
"What does walking for UNITY have to do with being IN A THONG!" I chuckle "Come'on you like it." Keeping my last comment to myself "Hope you can catch THIS RAINBOW Flaca!" Knowing today will prove interesting.
Though she's my birth pack's Beta she is my oldest sister and confidant, always being there for me. It was no wonder she got me an apt across from her when I decided I was coming to NYC to work on getting back my memories. You know now that I think about it, I wonder if she spelled the previous tenants to leave? I gotta ask her. At that moment Carmen sends me my first of two-morning texts from her "GM Remember your pills."
Did I forget to mention, my little Shaolin master is also my HERBAL PILL PUSHING PIMP! Supplying me with my holistic pills to help lessen my migraines. But what I don't tell her is, THEY TASTE LIKE CHALK! Humans often get creeped out by her stoic-like gaze always impressing she is studying you…...which she is. Because of her nature now you understand why I call her an old Chinese Shaolin master. This short quiet latin elder she-wulf may appear frail looking. But, she can WHOOP YOUR ASS!! Grateful, the only ass she has whupped is my sassy brother. Never mine.
Bells stare at me as I grumble "hurry coffee maker percolating" I address Bells " don't worry, I won't go postal Bells. My coffee addiction is not that bad". The little bitch lifts her ears, looks at me like "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!" I Chuckle remembering the day she arrived in my life. "Flaca" surprised me with a tail wagging BELLA one night without reason after visiting Toti. "Your mother said she needed a home and you needed a companion" as I held Bells for the first time, my feeling of loneliness lessened. Somehow Bells makes me feel not so lost.
"Your mom says you two would compliment and understand each other good, though BELLA DOES NOT TALK." As she goes to rub Bells in my arms who is licking my face. Bells stops licking me for a second to stare at Carmen and Carmen her as if understanding, . Then she had gone back to licking me. Chuckling to her I respond. "If she were to speak Flaca, FUCK MY AMNESIA JOURNEY !! I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE!"
I at least have the small miracle of being able to remember Carmen because aside from her, mom, and Randall. Everyone else from family to friends within my pack is complete strangers. I don't have a clue who they are or what role they once had in my life. For a moment I get depressed then snap myself out of it "Come on Alejandro, cut that shit out. Since coming here you have avoided it. Get over it and make it happen. Change that. IT'S GOING TO BE A GREAT WEEKEND!" I turn away from the balcony. I head back to the bedroom stopping to check my calendar hanging in the passageway along the way "Goddess if you love me pls let me NOT have any clients." My finger follows the week till I get to Saturday "YES I DON'T." I smirk "Thank you, GODDESS, for small miracles! It's not my Saturday to have to work and deal with the dick-head doctor in triage."
Remembering when he hit on me in the emergency room " hey Alejandro why don't we go have coffee in a corner of the cafe at 8 pm."
"Excuse me?" taken by surprise
"Well, I have two hours of downtime and figure we can grab a coffee and you could show me some basic signs to better speak with the patients that come in."
At first, I was ok with it "yea sure" then he fucked it up.
"Great we can grab coffee then go back to my office."
This caught my attention: "why would we need to do that when we can sit right in the cafe?"
His response went down hill. "Well I like to do things in private" then he winked at me. At any rate, I kept myself busy with my patient, resulting in the doc being annoyed. Fuck'im.
Strangely enough. About a week later. Right after I told Carmen of this asshole. He was attacked by a large dog which ripped out his throat while jogging in a nearby Park at 4am. According to a witness that saw and heard, it ran away when he screamed, coming to the doctor’s aid. The witness described the dog as a large orange black colored husky. He said it looked like a coyote but bigger. New Yorkers are so crazy. I paid it no mind and when I told Carmen. She looked at me and said “A COYOTE!??Really??.”
My morning routine is repetitive. Meaning, Bella bathroom (check) my light & sweet coffee brewing at 7 am (not yet check) & popping two chalk Herbals, eww later(not check). The pills are available sitting next to the coffee maker out of convenience for my migraines. Forgetting to medicate myself has never been a good thing, even more so, as my headaches have become more like jackhammer skull poundings when I forget. To be honest, I freaken HATE THEM! She makes them from some herbs that taste DISGUSTING! This is one scenario where the phrase "THE CURE IS WORSE THAN THE ILLNESS!" applies.
After putting on my slippers, I headed back to the balcony standing there enjoying the warmth of the rising sun. As I stand there, I drift back into my dream. It's night and I am running through some woods. hear the crickets fleeting chitters, the frogs in the distance ahead somewhere ribbiting, the trees look like black shadows, flowing past me. feel the wind caressing me blowing in my ear. run through the moonlit forest. Not stopping, continuing running looking up towards the night sky seeing the fullness of shining stars, further enhancing the unearthly radiance of the moon.
I am brought back to reality as my coffee maker, it's gurgling sounds reach my ears letting me know, It is 7 am. I smile saying "percolate my life's essence, my ambrosia percolate." The gurgling sound pales by it's wafting rich aroma beginning to reaches my nose.
Turning away from the door frame. Not waiting for little Ms. Pretty, who is now looking out to the city, pressing her nose through the metal grated barrier. Entering the kitchen I pull open the refrigerator door taking out my sugary sweet delicious Pumpkin Pie Spice creamer. "Ahhh, the sweet nectar the goddess made for CAFFEINE ADDICTS LIKE ME......... " and I prepare my cup. Saying this to myself causes me to think of my sassy brother Randall. How much I miss that crazy Nut!!
My statement is something he would say back home as I came into the kitchen "beyotch coffee ready" I laugh. Since coming to NYC, I have not kept in touch with him as much as we back home. When he calls I am working saying "I call you back in twenty."; Which I never do. After I finished preparing my first caffeine filled inj
ection. I take my cell phone from off the counter where I had placed it and go sit on the sofa, setting my phone down on the armrest. I take my first gulp of coffee "Ahhhh sweet heaven.......THANK YA GODDESS!!!!!
After a second sip of the sweet nectar called coffee, I set the cup down on the cherry oak end table before I half flop down onto the sofa. The cool morning breeze enters through the open balcony door, lulling me. Drifting me back to my dream. Once more I feel the wind flowing past me again, caressing me as I run through the moonlit woods. I remember following the moonlit path to clearing where I slow down and stop.
From here I look up again, this time taking a beautiful black night sky and the glistening stars shining beside the moon full radiance, illuminati everything beneath it. I look forward and see through some trees, a clearing just up ahead to a small house on top of a small meadow hill. grass around the house is alternating colors of healthy green bluish to small patches of tan brownish drying grass and bare dirt. bare dirt being a path that leads up to it. Moonlight beams fall on the house, darkening the woods surrounding me. As if emphasizing I don't miss it. I step forth coming out into the clearing onto the dirt path leading up towards the house. It's then I see the sleeping Wulves on the porch more as they come into view. They themselves have not noticed me.
I count them six total assorted coat colors yet share three things in common; their amazing beauty, the various colored shaped opals like stars in the center of their foreheads. Tribal markings outline their faces and bodies in the color of their opals. From my distance, I see one of the wulves has an Opal identical to the starlit sky, black with stars. Another looks as blue as the ocean. Another deep green like a forest. The brown wulf's opal holds a black tornado spinning in it's centered jewel. the dull pale white one's opal is grayish like the wind and the last? Aside from it's crimson red coat. I don't see well because it rises, turns facing the door to the cabin. It opens revealing a beautiful elegant ebony complexioned woman.
Her beauty is flawless, captivating me. Enhanced further by the reflecting moonlight, its rays dance off her cinnamon caramel skin. Hair opal black falls in gentle bouncing locks down around her shoulders. Her movements are graceful mesmerizing, like a swans', swimming across a lake, so sinew, so fluidic, mesmerizing. In this moment she is beauty incarnate. Without realizing it, I stop myself from taking another step towards them.
I watch her squat down and pet each wulf. The Wulves, huge & husky in stature surround her now and whine, they wag their thumping tails on the floor to her where they remain waiting to petted like puppies. She each one as I see her turn head and gaze to speak "come Alejandro do not fear". I again continue my walk up the path to her.
The Wulves, following her gaze see me, drop their puppyish nature, they rise facing me, giving me their full attention. All eyes are turned towards me as I approach. Tail still wagging, short whines escape them towards me......why? Do they know me?
One wulf, having a deep crimson rust red coat comes towards me, padding its way down the dirt pathway wagging its tail. Built heavier than the others (More like a fucking tank!). Like the others, it has an orange red Opal Estrella with the same color markings on its face and body. At seeing it approach, my heart, beating with a jack hammer force, a pounding with an ache as if it wants to explode from within me.
I feel strong electrical currents through my body as it gets closer. Our eyes locked, I can see into its, their sparkling deep emerald green oval eyes. I feel it's joy, the happiness an ache matching mine to be with me, as is mine to be with them. I remember wrapping my arms around its neck, feeling the ache in my chest soften and fade. Feeling whole and being complete. A single tear now comes out and down from my closed eyelids without me realizing it as I sit on the sofa.
The Crimson wulf I see, is male. He comes and lays his head down over my shoulder and onto my back as we embrace "hello mate". He lifts his right paw placing it to rest around my back. Then uses it to pull me towards him further. I tighten my arms around his neck even more. Tears down my cheeks as I am being held in his warmth. Wulves on the porch see our embrace and howl their happiness, tails wagging. goddess smiles, tender love showing in her gaze.
Crimson wulf licks my tearing face, cleaning them away. He pulls back now then presses his forehead to mine speaking from a voice of profound baritone power & depth. It holds authority, yet it is soft with so much love and tenderness towards me "Don't cry my sable, my beautiful beautiful sable. Soon my mulatto (chocolate) we will be together. For I am Crimson and I will find you". He turns his head towards the house and the beautiful woman watching us from the porch. Then says, "Come Mother waits".
At his last words, it is then I realize who she is......the GODDESS. We head up together now, walking alongside each other to the Goddess. My right hand comes to rest on his fur for reassurance. As I touch him I realize, "He spoke yet his mouth never moved when he spoke or did it??" With my hand resting on his deep rusty red coat which under the moonlight, looked closer to blood, we continue up to the house.
The Goddess meets us part way, coming down to greet me smiling and warm. She embraces me in an embrace that makes me feel like an infant child held in the folds of his mother and nothing else matters, in her hold I am home and safe.
It is at this moment, my phone Marc Anthony "Voy A Vivir", taking me out of my dream, bringing me back to reality. Feeling the moisture moving down my cheek I wipe it clean before answering the phone. Then I reach and pick it up off the sofa armrest looking to it's screen, its my brother Randall Grr, doing our weekend morning routine call BUT DAMN WHAT TIMING!
During some rescue mission I don't remember, Mom found and returned with Randall, then a cub in her jaws and raised him as her own ever since. According to the story, His pack slaughtered by rogues'. Rogues are Wulves which have no pack or territory of their own. They often band together to invade and take over an established packs territory by killing them. Being a Celestial Guardian, mom went to their aid. am told. I believe she found the fucker and raised him to torment me sometimes.
Randall stands at 6ft is 246 dark milk chocolate pounds with a big ass and a small beer belly, BUT sassy as all hell!! My demeanor is a total opposite of my gay brother who can be flairy and sassy. Randall is both my crazy ass best friend & brother whose three favorite words "Bitch, Gurl" & "Beyotch" I would swear to the Goddess sometimes THOSE ARE THE ONLY THREE WORDS I think hookah knows!
One more thing, whenever my brother and mother get together, their topics often becomes men, fashion, or cooking? WATCH OUT!! Those two become DANGEROUS OLD GOSSIP BITTIES WITH VIPER TONGUES! the only thing I can say is RUN!!
Anyway, I answer "Morning Heffa whatcha want". I hear a gasping huff and know he is going flair mode on me.
"Oh noo you DID'IN!! Hell ta da NO Beyotch. Yo ass did NOT! JUST call me a HEFFA! See what happens when a brutha tries to check up on his little stra-aaaay!" his voice changes again, going into his Color Purple / Roots impression "Don pic up and Leavez a SISTA HIGH N DRY IN FLORIDA, Lawd WHY!! WHY!! I izz a GOOD HARPO YESSA I Izz!!" I laugh responding to his antics "Bitch!! YOU WILL BE ALLL RIGHT!!" We are both laughing now as not being able to keep up his routine, he breaks.
I love dis crazy Beyotch. my laughter just enough as I goes into my MAdea voice sayin "How ja doin g-url? Been awhile since Ya called Ya sis-ta. Ya Latina ass little version of "I will call you back in 20 min" BEYOTCH, is more like TWO WEEKS!! YA kno Izz miss ya BLONDI!!" my nickname for Alejandro because of his amnesia. Again because, Randall is right! always say this and don't call back! answer him, "I’m gurl aside from having this dream last night different from the other one."
Randall’s tone changes in a nanosecond. By it, he knows he has my full attention now as he asks "what about your headaches? Taking your pills mama?"
Ignoring his pill question I stop laughing responding to Randall "The good thing is they're not as many as before, but, when they happen they are STRONG AS FUCK! To be honest I am thinking maybe they're trying to tell me something.
I have not taken them yet, I will take them. I fucking wish I knew what was triggering them though." Randall responds
"Yeah well girl Ya know what dey say. All good things come ta those who wait."
I pause, reflecting on Randall’s comment for a minute before continuing, ignoring his statement "What I find odd gurl is, I was hugging the same beautiful red crimson wulf in my dream and this time, he spoke without ever moving his jaws."
Again, a tone of flair to Randall's voice. This time though, I know where he is going with it as he goes higher. Mimicking his rendition of Dixie-country girl.
"Oooooh? Why Massa Alejandro Maisonet, I do declare. Girl y'all hear dogs talkin all da time, you izz juss a natural born BEYOTCH!" I roar hysterical but scream at him "WHAAAT??!!"
I envision Randall doing his usual head Snake neck swishing back and forth. bitch. This Visual, causes me to smile a big grin as I respond with "Listen here homo, Ya don lost your damn mind HEFFA!".
Keeping my flairish tone, I continue sassing my brother "Alejandro we been sistas fer jeers (years). Since we were cubs, you always had a natural knack to attract dawgs. I mean dey always came around ju" my tone turning higher with a hint of funny sarcasm "like ju a Bitch or a ho. But I like ta think Bitch betta!!"
I can't WITH HIM! both of us are laughing as I respond with a fake sarcastic tone. "Can you remind me juuuuust WHYYYY I talk to yo retarded ass!!"
Quick as ever with my sass "Cuz yo VIRGIN Latina ass ain't got nuthin Betta ta DO numba ONE! Two, I AM FINGA LICKIN GOOD and, eva since ya got COCK KNOCKED! on da head, I am da only man you talk to!!! SOOO Bitch Ya wanna and YA BES-TA BE NICE!!"!!!"
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