by Lea Coll
“You’ve done an amazing job with it.”
“You have time to figure out what you want to do.”
But only a week to decide about this job. I could stay in my current job but that would be a step back at this point. I’d worked there for five years. It was time to move toward the promotion or do something else.
Instead of voicing all of that to Elle when she had a wedding to finalize and a baby on the way, I said, “Yeah.”
The waitress placed our dishes in front of us. “Do you need anything else?”
“No, thank you,” I said.
After we ate a few bites, Elle launched into the laundry list of things she needed to do before the wedding. I could tell she just needed to list them to clear her mind, so I didn’t interrupt.
When she slowed down, her voice trailing off, I said, “I can help with anything you need.”
“You and Henry can handle the deliverymen and the placement of everything, including the florist. I think that’ll be enough.”
“How are you feeling?” I scanned her face. She looked tired.
“I’m exhausted. I wanted to have the wedding before the end of the first trimester―before I popped―but I didn’t account for how tired I’d be. Maybe I should have waited.”
“No. It will be perfect. Relax and let us help you.” I could answer that honestly after staying with Henry for a week. It was the perfect location for a wedding. When an image of me getting married outside his family’s home popped into my head, I pushed it out.
“You’re a great friend.” Elle’s expression was filled with affection.
“I’m trying to be.” It would be hard to continue being a good friend and “aunt” to her baby if I was living on the East Coast wrapped up in my life.
Elle shook her head. “You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
“For a lot of years, it was just me. I didn’t have to be there for anyone.” That admission cost me because I wanted to be a good friend, but getting too close to people was risky. I worried they’d drift away, not want to be friends anymore, or I’d be too clingy and push them away.
“I think our parents messed us up. Yours especially.”
I moved the food around on my plate. “How so?”
“You’re afraid to put yourself out there.”
I sighed. She wasn’t wrong.
“When was the last time you seriously dated anyone?”
“That guy in college. Guys don’t want serious, so that’s what I go for these days. Casual. No expectations.” I winced, wondering what I was doing with Henry. It felt different though. It didn’t seem casual no matter how many times one of us said it was.
Elle gave me a pointed look. “It’s okay to ask for what you want, Kelsey.”
My heart pinched because there was no way I could ask Henry for a long-distance relationship. That’s what ended his only long-term relationship. There was no way he’d go for it. He didn’t even want that. “That’s the thing. I don’t even know what I want anymore. In college, I wanted a family. A real one that spent meals and holidays together.”
“You got burned but that was one guy’s opinion. We already established he was an idiot. Not everyone’s like that.” Elle’s voice increased in pitch.
I didn’t tell her Henry was afraid of commitment too. She had no idea I was interested in him much less sleeping with him. “Maybe.”
“When I found Gray, I didn’t even realize what I had. If someone comes into your life, don’t push him away. See where it goes. He might surprise you.”
She wanted everyone to be happy because she was. Life wasn’t like that. Guys didn’t just fall into your lap.
“You’re lucky you found Gray, but I don’t know if I want a relationship. I’m kind of married to my job.” I’d settled for that. I’d told myself it would be enough.
“We didn’t have the best examples of what a good relationship should be growing up, you know, what a family consists of. The Rigbys helped Gray see what we could have, what he’d missed from his childhood. I know you saw it on Sunday night too.”
Henry saw his parents’ relationship but didn’t want the same. At least not anymore. “I did.”
I was quiet for a few seconds while eating my meal, wondering if I should tell her about Piper. “There was some tension when Piper arrived.”
“I’ve meaning to talk to her about that.” Elle rubbed her forehead.
“You have enough going on right now. We can talk to Piper after the wedding or I should say, you can.” There wasn’t time to get more entwined in these people’s lives.
“Still. She’s never mentioned any strife, but she rarely shows up to the Sunday dinners. I’ve asked Gray but he doesn’t know why.”
I knew some of it but it wasn’t my place to tell her.
She cocked her head. “You know, don’t you?”
“I talked to Henry a little about it.”
“You’ve become close.”
I waved a hand at her, hoping she’d let it go. “As close as you can become in a couple of days.”
She shifted so her elbows were leaning on the table as she scrutinized me. “We’ve spent some time together but otherwise you’ve been with Henry on helicopter rides and snowmobiling. Is there something going on that I should know about?”
My breath caught in my chest. I didn’t want to lie to her but I wasn’t sure what to say. What was going on behind closed doors was private. We hadn’t discussed telling our friends. I didn’t want to tell her without talking to Henry first.
“Oh my God. There is, isn’t there? You look so guilty right now.”
I glanced around. “Lower your voice, please. I can’t talk about it.”
“This is perfect. You and Henry, me and Gray.” She clasped her hands together, practically gleeful.
“Elle. Be reasonable. I live in New York.” I slowed my words down, emphasizing each one. “Henry lives here.”
It was her turn to wave me off. “Those are minor details.”
I sighed, exasperated. “No. They’re not minor. It’s a huge, insurmountable roadblock especially considering everything else.”
“What are you talking about? What’s everything else?” She waved a hand at me.
“I can’t talk about it. It’s personal.”
She leaned in closer. “We can talk about stuff. Unless Henry’s sworn you to secrecy?”
“Not exactly. We just thought you—Gray—wouldn’t be happy with us dating.”
“Why not? I’m thrilled. Why wouldn’t I want my best friend dating my future husband’s friend?”
I waited for the reason to come to her, and when it didn’t, I said, “When it doesn’t work out, it will be awkward when I come to visit.”
Her brow furrowed. “Why are you assuming it won’t work out?”
“There’s things you don’t know.” I sifted through what Henry told me, wondering if he cared if I revealed a little bit. “He’s not looking for anything long-term.”
That was vague enough. He couldn’t be upset about me telling Elle that. It was the truth.
She rolled her eyes. “All guys say that until they meet the one.”
“I don’t think so. Henry’s been adamant that what we have can’t go past this week.” Anticipating her next argument, I added, “He had a long-distance relationship before and it didn’t work out.”
“Who’s to say it won’t this time?” Elle shrugged, breaking off a piece of her breadstick and popping it into her mouth.
I sighed. When we were together, it felt real—amazing even. “Maybe if I lived closer.”
If he wasn’t so against it. If I wasn’t so incapable of having a relationship.
“I don’t see what the problem is.”
“We’ve only been dating a week. Yeah, the sex is great.”
Elle’s mouth dropped open. “You’re having sex?”
Her words were hushed as she leaned even closer to me.
I ripped off a piece of my leftove
r breadstick and threw it at her. “Yes. Why are you so shocked?”
“You’ve known each other…” Leaning back, she counted on her fingers. Her eyes widened as she said, “Seven days. Seven, Kelsey. What the hell?”
She wasn’t mad, more like impressed.
“The sex is hot, okay? I have zero regrets about it. Best I’ll probably ever have.”
“How is he not someone you’d want to continue seeing? Even if Henry’s against it now, surely he’ll come around. He’ll miss you when you leave. I bet he’ll fly to New York and beg you to come back.”
My heart twinged at the thought. “Relationships are more than sex, and this isn’t some cheesy romantic comedy.”
“Great sex helps though. Even when you’re fighting, you still have make-up sex.” Elle nodded as if she was the expert on the topic.
“We haven’t fought.” He’d only pushed me away that first time we’d kissed.
The waitress cleared our plates, leaving the bill between us. When she left, Elle said, “I’m trying to figure this situation out for you.”
“There’s nothing to figure out. It is what it is.” I shrugged as if the thought of getting on a plane next week didn’t make my stomach twist into knots.
“I don’t believe that.”
“It has to be. I won’t—I won’t let myself get sucked further into this. It’s fun. It’s for another few days and then we’ll go our separate ways. I must think of it as ending when I leave. If I let myself go where you are—to grand gestures and fairy tale endings—I’ll be crushed when he doesn’t feel the same way.”
She opened her mouth to say something, but I held my hand up to stop her. “You can’t tell Gray. Let Henry tell him first.”
“You know, once you’re engaged, telling me is like telling Gray. We’re like one person.”
“Ugh. Fine. But for the record, I told you not to tell him.”
We stood, heading to the exit. In her SUV, Elle smiled at me before checking for traffic to pull out. “I have a good feeling about this. I think it’s all going to work out.”
I didn’t argue with her this time. I was the random, leftover puzzle piece that didn’t fit. I wasn’t enough to overcome Henry’s past. I rested my head on the seat, watching the scenery pass by. I didn’t even want to think about the woman who’d be the one to mend Henry’s heart. At least I wouldn’t be here to witness it.
Chapter 17
Henry
* * *
I’d spent the morning directing the delivery men where to put everything. The linens and silverware were still in boxes stacked against the wall in the kitchen so they wouldn’t be in the way.
At some point, Kelsey texted that she was going to lunch with Elle.
Had she told Elle about us? We hadn’t discussed what to reveal to Gray and Elle―if anything. I was a little worried about Gray’s reaction if she did say something. When Gray said to take care of Elle’s friend, he didn’t mean fuck her while she was here.
Then the tables and chairs showed up a day early, and I was busy figuring out where to put them so guests weren’t walking around them. Assuming Kelsey returned when I was busy, I went to check for her. She wasn’t in the study reading. I knocked on her door with no response. I checked one more spot before I headed back to my condo.
Most guests didn’t frequent the back porch when it was this cold even though I’d installed heaters, but Kelsey loved being outside as much as possible. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was soaking up the view.
Stepping outside, I scanned the porch finding her in a rocking chair with a heavy throw on her lap. “I thought I’d find you out here.”
I moved closer, turning on the heater closest to her. “Why didn’t you turn on the heaters?”
She smiled at me absentmindedly. “Oh, I didn’t even think about it.”
“What are you doing out here?” I settled into the rocking chair next to hers.
She gestured at the paperback open on her lap. “Trying to read but this view keeps distracting me.”
I looked at the view trying to see it as an outsider. “I supposed if I hadn’t grown up with this—I’d be distracted too.”
She smiled bittersweetly. “I only have a few more days to enjoy it.”
She was sad about leaving, but there was something else. “Did something happen?”
“Am I that obvious?”
“It seems like something is on your mind besides leaving soon.”
“I was offered a job. A week ago, I would have been ecstatic at the idea but now, I’m not sure. I’d be working the same position but moving from a small to a large firm. It’s more pay with a possibility for promotion to a broker.”
“Congratulations.” I think. She didn’t seem that happy about it.
“I’m not as sure about the future as I was last week.”
Excitement zinged up my spine countered by a twinge of fear. What else had changed except for this vacation… me?
“I’d need to take the Series 7 test to get promoted. I won’t have much time to come back and visit. I wanted to come see the baby.”
“I’m sure you still can.”
“I don’t know. When I’m working, that’s all there is. It’s all I see. I guess I’m worried I’ll go back and fall into my old way of doing things. I’ll be consumed by my job, studying for the test, and I’ll forget what this was like.” She tipped her head toward the view.
“I don’t know about that. Telluride has a way of seeping into your soul.”
She smiled. “You might be right about that.”
“I can’t imagine living anywhere else.” I couldn’t imagine living in New York with buildings as far as you could see. The smog most likely blocking the view of the stars. There wouldn’t be clean, crisp air stinging your cheeks.
“I don’t know what I want anymore. I’ve enjoyed working the marketing side of my brain the last few days.”
If she took the job, she wouldn’t be able to visit as much. I wanted a clean break after this week, didn’t I? Why did I feel so despondent at the thought of her leaving, getting caught up in her old life, forgetting about this week, this town, me? “You have time to figure things out.”
She nodded, not responding, her expression pensive.
Not wanting to dwell on the thought of her leaving anymore, I wanted to focus on the here and now. I was curious if she’d talked to Elle about us. My heart leaped at the idea she had. Looking around to make sure we were still alone, I said, “Did you tell Elle about us?”
My heart beat loudly in my chest. I didn’t want them to know but it would be easier with the wedding coming up. I wasn’t looking forward to having to pretend nothing was going on between us.
Her forehead wrinkled. “She guessed. I didn’t want to tell her.”
I winced, trying to imagine their conversation. “Was she upset?”
Kelsey shook her head, laughing lightly. “No. She’s excited.”
“What?” That’s not what I was expecting.
“She’s happy for us. She thinks we should be together or try, at least.”
“Does she realize you live across the country?” I leaned back in the rocker, raising my hands behind my head as I considered her.
Her nose scrunched. “She thinks it’s not a big deal.”
Emotions rolled through me one after the other, the way I felt when I was with Kelsey, the thought of her leaving, never seeing her again, then hope that maybe we could be together despite the distance, followed by the regret from the last time I’d asked someone for more. “Did you tell her why it is?”
“I just said we weren’t looking long term.” Her gaze searched my face.
It was what we’d discussed, so why did my stomach sink at her words? I should have been happy she wasn’t asking for more, but the thought of her leaving the lodge next week settled like a heavy weight on my chest making it difficult to breathe.
“That’s right.” Would she ask me to change my mind? Did I want her to
? I wasn’t sure I could ask her to stay even if saying goodbye would be difficult.
“How was your day?” Kelsey asked lightly.
I took a breath, grateful for the change in subject. “I dealt with delivery guys, but at least it’s done.”
“Not what you imagined when you decided to renovate and rent out a few cabins, huh?”
I laughed, the sensation rumbling through my chest, knocking the heaviness away. “No. Definitely not.”
“I know you’ll make it. Soon, you’ll be able to hire someone to help out with that side of the business.”
The fact that she believed in me flowed through my system, making me feel lighter as if I could do anything. Since she had a marketing background, I could ask her for advice even after she left. I could ask her to stay. As soon as the thought entered my mind, I negated it. I wouldn’t ask someone else to live my dream again. She’d only resent me in the end. I’d make it on my own.
“I hope so. I don’t think I’m cut out to be a wedding planner.”
“Have you thought about asking Gray and Elle’s permission to post pictures of their wedding on the website? Kind of like an advertisement for future brides.”
“No. Elle and Gray are private. Elle has avoided any kind of publicity since she moved here.”
“This is different though. They’d be an anonymous couple.”
“Until someone figured it out. Until reporters showed up or producers started clamoring for her to be on their show again.” Alice, Elle’s sister, pressured Elle to be on a spin-off reality show so that she could have her chance on TV as well.
“That thing with Alice was rough; I get it. But I don’t think that would happen again.”
Annoyance shot through me that she was pushing so hard on this. “I can’t take that risk. I saw how upset they both were when they were worried about her past getting out and people recognizing her.”
“Surely, people have recognized her.”
“Yeah, sometimes tourists will mention something to her. Locals recognize Elle as one of their own. If something like that happened, they’d probably protect her.”