by Krista Holt
“That’s not possible,” Garrett says. “This is the FBI, we don’t do things off record. We’re not the CIA, and given how long you were in contact with him and supposedly assisting him, there should be something. But there isn’t. In fact, no record of him working on a case related to the Selvaggios even existed until he filed for Nic’s arrest warrant. He presented what information he gathered from the bug and Nic’s phone at that time, but other than that, there’s no trace of his interest anywhere. I don’t understand why that is. An agent doesn’t suddenly have information like that without a paper trail, somewhere.”
“What does that have to do with Reagan?” I ask.
“I’m not sure.”
“He wants revenge,” Reagan says, bringing my gaze down.
“What?”
“When Nic was arrested, he took me down to headquarters.”
“Why?” Garrett asks.
“He wanted to show me Saul Marino’s autopsy pictures. I think he was trying to scare me. But he also told me about his first undercover mission and how the Selvaggios found out he was an agent. He thinks they killed his fiancée because of it.”
“I don’t know anything about this,” I tell her.
“You would have been a kid. It was almost twenty-five years ago. For some twisted reason, though, he holds you responsible.”
“Me?”
“Yes, he kept saying it was ‘a son for a son.’ His fiancée, she was pregnant, and he only found out after she was killed.”
My jaw clenches. “What else did he tell you?”
“Nothing, I swear.”
“He took you to headquarters?” Garrett interjects. “When?”
“It was the middle of the night. The entire place was deserted, that way no one could recognize me.”
“Or, “ he counters, “so no one would see you.”
“Yeah…” Reagan frowns, confusion furrowing her brow.
“What are you getting at, Garrett?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Let’s get back to the issue at hand. I need you to come with us, Reagan.”
“And I told you,” I lean toward him, “that she was never part of the deal.”
“I need to have every weapon in my arsenal to make sure this goes off without a hitch. Which means I need your head in the game, and you’re shit at splitting your focus when it comes to her. So, I want her with you. No excuses.”
“I said no! Are you just going to completely ignore the added danger you’re placing her in? If anyone finds out she’s the reason—”
“I understand that,” Garrett volleys back. “But again, it’s better if you’re both in the same place, so I can protect everyone.”
“Nic,” Reagan interrupts, “what if I want to go?”
“I don’t want you there.”
Her mouth parts slightly and regret hits me immediately.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I groan.
“I’m sure you didn’t.”
The chill in her tone bites. My chest surges with a deep breath as I wait for her to do what she always does—run. To grab her things and head for the door. To my surprise, she doesn’t. She just stands there, glaring at me.
“Get out, Garrett,” I snap.
He glances between us, and nods. As he leaves, the fight that’s been missing in her eyes ever since she got here sparks to life.
“It’s too dangerous,” I tell her. “I want you to stay here.”
“I don’t want to. I want to be with you. That’s why I’m here. If Garrett says he needs me, I want to help.”
“There’s nothing for you to do. I’ve already handled it. I don’t need you with me.”
“Well, maybe I need it. Maybe I need to be there for you, with you, so that I don’t have to look in the mirror every morning and hate myself. I know you hate me right now, but let me fix this. Even if there’s nothing for me to do, even if I don’t do anything but hold your hand while you do this, I’ll feel better. So please, let me.”
“I don’t hate you. How could you think that I hate you?”
“Because I got you arrested. I betrayed you.”
“I’m hardly innocent in this, Reagan. I don’t care about the handcuffs. It wasn’t the first time I’ve had them on. Hopefully, it’s the last, but that’s not what hurt. What hurt is that you lied, you used me. And now I have to sort through all my memories of us to figure out which ones were real and what was fake.”
“I know.” She takes a deep breath. “I had to do the same thing.”
“We both have things to forgive, I’m aware, but this is fresh. I’m going to need some time. But I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”
Staring at her, I swallow back the emotions that beg me to cave. Because I want nothing more than for her to be right next to me, all the time. The danger I’m warning her about though, isn’t imaginary. It’s very real. And very deadly. I know she doesn’t understand. She wasn’t raised in this, and she’s naive enough to believe that Garrett and his team are invincible. Part of me doesn’t want to take that belief from her, and part of me wants to shake her into understanding so she’ll stay here. Where it’s safe.
Garrett knocks on the door again, reminding me to ring his redheaded neck the second I have the chance. He was supposed to follow our plan. He knew I wanted Reagan kept at a distance, and then he decided to screw it all up by talking about this in front of her. He knew she’d want to come, and he knew I wouldn’t be able to tell her no. Because I’m a mere man, and she’s my weakness. I can’t deny her anything she asks for, not anymore.
Still, I know there’s a reason he brought this up. Garrett is always rational. Something else must have happened, something he didn’t want to share in front of her, because my whole agreement with the FBI was centered on keeping Reagan free and clear of any blowback. So there has to be a reason he did this.
“We need to be at Dulles in two hours,” he calls through the door. “Which means Reagan needs to go pack a bag, now.”
“I never said she was going!” I shout back, stubbornly sticking to my first response: denial.
“I’m coming!” she yells over me as she grabs her things and pulls on her coat.
“Reagan, wait.”
She slowly turns around, expecting a fight.
“Is this really what you want? To be caged up in a hotel room with me for weeks? No work, no internet. Just waiting around for me to finish my testimony?”
“It’s exactly what I want, Nic. I want to be with you.”
“This is a bad idea,” I warn.
“I know you think that.” She yanks the door open. “But it’ll be fine.”
Garrett stands on the other side with an agent named Tommy Barone, and he introduces them quickly. “Barone’s going to take you to get your things, and then bring you to the airport for the flight. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going. You can bring your phones, but you’re going to have to surrender them to me. You’ll only be able to use them once, maybe twice a day.”
“I understand. Thanks, Garrett.”
“No problem.” He pivots to the other man. “Make sure you don’t have a tail. And don’t let anything happen to her.”
The other man nods and gestures for Reagan to proceed him down the hallway. She turns one last time, giving me a tentative smile before she leaves. I can barely muster a clipped nod, because my frustration is mounting. I need to know what he’s not telling me.
“What the hell, O’Neil? We had a deal!” I shout as he steps inside.
“I know, I know,” he holds up his hands, patronizing me. “But, Nic, something isn’t right about her deal with Simmons.”
“What do you mean?”
“Simmons has been a good agent. He’s always done everything by the book, and he’s been around for a long time. Long before I started with the Bureau. I’m beginning to wonder, though, if he was running her tips through the proper channels or if he’s gone rogue. From what she said, it sounds like he’s let this grud
ge with your family become personal.”
“Yeah, well, dead fiancées and kids tend to do that. What it doesn’t explain is why she needs to come with us. She’ll be at an even greater risk if my father finds out about her, you know that.”
“I do, but Simmons is still in D.C. And my gut tells me she isn’t safe with him around either. So she’s coming. I can’t have you worrying about her and distracted. In case you forgot, we’re trying to put one of the most dangerous mob bosses in the history of organized crime behind bars.”
“I remember.”
“Well, then, suck it up. She’s coming.”
Gripping the back of my neck with my bruised hand, I pace the small room. “I don’t like this…if something happens your agents are only going to be worried about protecting me, not her.”
“You are their job.”
“She is not disposable!” I yell. “Without her, this whole thing falls apart. You know that!”
He nods, not looking the least bit disturbed by my outburst. He’s probably used to them at this point. We’ve been working together long enough.
Stopping in front of the window, I stare out at the city blanketed by night. A few lights twinkle in the distance, surrounded by the dark abyss. Almost like a light at the end of a very long tunnel.
“Garrett, promise me something.”
“What?”
I put my hands in my pockets and stare at him in the window’s reflection. “Man to man, all other deals aside. If something happens, promise me you’ll keep her safe. Even if that means letting me die.”
“If something happens,” he counters, “I will do my best to save you both.”
“That isn’t what I asked.”
He holds up a hand. “But, if I have to make a choice, I’ll choose her. I swear.”
“That’s all I needed to hear.”
CHAPTER 26
Reagan
HIS GAZE WEIGHS ON ME from across the private plane.
An undercurrent of tension moves through the enclosed space like a riptide, snaring us both. Garrett and the other agents are sequestered in the front of the plane, oblivious to the intensity between us. But to me, it’s a live wire, sparking and threatening to start a fire.
It’s been like this ever since we left the ground. He’d been in the back talking to Garrett when Tommy and I had returned. It hadn’t mattered that I’d raced to my apartment, packed a bag, and called the office to tell them I’d be gone for the rest of the week in record time. They’d been waiting on us, so we’d dropped into the nearest seats we could find and buckled in. Unfortunately, that had left Nic and I on opposite sides of the plane.
His eyes haven’t strayed from where I sit. Heavy. Brooding. Intense. It’s enough to set me on edge, reminding me that I have no idea what I’m walking into. Or what’s supposed to happen next. But I’m not under any illusions. I know that what Nic is about to do won’t tie every messy detail up in a neat bow. If anything, testifying against his father has made everything more dangerous. There’s more risk involved now, and it feels like we’re gambling with his life. With our lives. And it scares me.
I could sense that same thing when I spoke to Cameron and Becca. They’re worried. Cameron hadn’t asked why I was leaving, and I didn’t volunteer any additional information. Becca had been easier. She’d understood, but demanded that I check in frequently so she’d know I was okay. I assured her I would and hung up the phone, wondering if everything would be okay. Because I really have no clue what I’m getting myself into.
We stay locked in this silent standoff until the pilot comes on the intercom and announces that we’re twenty minutes out from Teterboro. The tension in my shoulders mounts and fear of the unknown twists my stomach. I know he doesn’t want me here, but I can’t do this without him. Willing to be the first one to cave, I take a deep breath and get up.
His eyes track my movements as I walk down the short aisle and sit down next to him without a word. Sinking into the plush leather chair, I watch the lights of the city grow brighter out the window, breathing a sigh of relief when he slides his hand into mine, lacing our fingers together.
“Are you still mad I came along?”
“Reagan, look at me.” He cups my chin. “Sweetheart, it’s going to be fine.”
“I thought you didn’t lie to me?”
“I don’t. However this plays out…it’s going to be fine.”
“No. The only way this plays out ‘fine’ is with your father in jail and us on a deserted island somewhere.”
His lips curl into a slight smile. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Honestly, Nic. Please don’t worry about me. I’m fine, I will be fine. I don’t want to be a distraction.”
He brushes some hair behind my ear, lingering on the side of my face as he studies me. “I always worry about you. I don’t think there’s a fix for that. So, no, I’m not mad you’re here. I just want you protected.”
I rest my head on his shoulder as the plane dips and we start to gradually descend. The FBI agents hurriedly stow their paperwork, and Garrett confirms agents are on the ground to transport us to one of the twenty different hotel rooms they have reserved for the foreseeable future. From what I understand, the next few days will play out like a shell game, every night a new hotel room, in a new location.
When the plane lands, we’re shuffled into the back of a black SUV that is flanked by unmarked NYPD cruisers. The car is silent as I lean against Nic. The agents scan the traffic, tensing every time an unknown car cuts us off or passersby take undue notice of our convoy.
After pulling into a parking garage, we file out of the back seat and through the employee entrance of the hotel we are staying at tonight. Garrett opens the door to the stairway, signaling for us to go ahead. Nic drops his arm from my shoulder, holding my hand instead, as we take the stairs up two floors.
He takes the card key to our room from Garrett and opens the door, urging me forward with a hand on the small of my back. I fumble around in the dark for a switch, and a second later a lamp in the far corner turns on, illuminating the cramped room.
I toss the small duffel bag I had hastily packed onto the bed as they talk behind me in hushed voices. I can’t make out what they’re saying, and frankly, I’m too tired to care. Nic will fill me in if he needs to. Hopefully.
“They’re going to bring something back for us to eat.” Nic locks the door and flips the deadbolt over in what I’m sure is an attempt to make me feel better.
He drops his bag onto the floor and hangs up his garment bag. “Get comfortable, we’re locked in for the night.”
A fleeting smile pulls at my lips. He’s trying to lighten the mood, even though nothing about this is funny.
“What time do we leave in the morning?”
“I don’t want you going.”
“Nic—” I start to argue, but he cuts me off with a wave of his hand.
“But since Garrett can’t spare an agent to stay here with you, you’re coming.”
I nod, biting my lower lip.
“You’re not to get out of the car though, Reagan. Do you understand me? I don’t care why, or what you want to do, you do not get out of the car. No one can know you’re here. I don’t want your name associated with this, and I don’t want you to become a target. I might have lost on the whole bringing you along, but I won’t back down on this. Promise me you’ll do as I say.”
His shoulders are thrown back. His dark hair is tangled and unruly, and a few days’ growth lines his bruised jaw. The white shirt he’s wearing is wrinkled, the top buttons undone. The man is exhausted, but his eyes spark as if he’s expecting an argument.
“I promise.”
He sighs and then shakes his head, rubbing at the side of his neck. “I wish I believed you.”
“Nic.” I move toward him. My hand slides underneath his jacket. His eyes fall to my hand and then travel up my body, meeting my gaze.
“I don’t want to make this harder on you tha
n it has to be. You want me to stand in a corner, I will. All right?”
The side of his full mouth pulls upward, fighting a smirk as he nods. “All right.”
I inch closer, hugging him tight. Resting my head on his chest, I close my eyes, listening to the thump of his heart.
“I’m sorry,” I say into his shirt. “I’m so sorry, for everything.”
“Me, too.” He wraps his arms around me, leaning down to gently kiss my neck. “Me too, sweetheart.”
“Are you scared?”
His body tenses momentarily, and then relaxes like he didn’t mean to react to my question. I pull back, staring up at him. The whites of his eyes seem larger as he searches my face.
“Are you?”
I shake my head, not trusting my voice.
His features soften as he cups my cheek. “Liar.”
“You didn’t answer either.”
A tight smile is all he gives me.
“Tell me,” I implore. “I’m not going to use it against you. Please, Nic, no more lies.”
“Says the liar.”
A frustrated noise rises up my throat. “Fine. That’s fair.”
His eyes. They seem darker than normal. It’s somehow more captivating, pulling the truth from my lips before I even realize it.
“I’m scared out of my mind.” My voice cracks, my throat tight with emotion. “I’m afraid I’m going to lose you.”
“You’re never going to lose me.”
“You don’t know that. And we have to be honest with each other. I can’t do this if we keep lying. I won’t.”
He tilts my face up, not letting me hide. His eyes study me silently, and then he sighs. “I’m not going to lie to you, but I’m not going to talk about this either.”
“Why won’t you let me in?” I plead. If anything should bring two people closer, it should be something like this. But he’s still holding me at arm’s length, still shutting me out.
He kisses my forehead, lingering there. “I can’t, Reagan. I physically can’t. If I even think about the worst possible scenario here, I’m going to lose my nerve.” His lips brush against my temple, my neck, my lips, trying to distract me. “Give me this, for now.”