by Voss, Deja
“You don’t know,” Law said calmly. “And you never will. But if you ever question my intentions again, I promise you’ll be shitting out your own teeth for the next two weeks.”
“Both of you, shut the fuck up,” Colt said. I hadn’t seen him this on edge in a long time.
“Kid has no idea where it’s coming from. Hasn’t made it up that far north yet. He said I could bring it to him and he’d have the guys test it. Is that okay, Daddy Law?” I asked, sneering at him.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he said, clenching his fists. “The fuck has gotten into you?”
I knew I wasn’t acting right. I didn’t pick fights with my brothers. I was the kind of guy who got along with everyone all the time. I was chill. Go with the flow. I finally had Hannah here with me, and everything was supposed to be perfect. I was gonna be with her. My life was finally falling into place.
Leave it to me to try to fuck everything up just when shit started getting good. Give her the old hump and dump, except this time, she’d be the one who wanted to dump me. It was cowardly, but it’d probably save her a lot of heartache in the long run.
“I don’t know,” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets.
“You’re digging your own grave, brother. Hannah doesn’t need that shit,” he reminded me.
“You think I can take her with me today? I don’t wanna leave her here alone.”
“I don’t like that,” Colt said. “We gotta monitor her. Still don’t trust her.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Law said. “Take her with ya. Don’t stay in one place too long. Make sure she wears a helmet. Don’t go outta your way to tell anybody who she is.”
“You serious?” Colt asked.
“I’m a sucker for a good romance now and then. I don’t wanna keep these two love birds apart. Besides, she spent damn near a year of her life locked in a basement. Keeping her locked up in here isn’t fair.”
“What?” I stammered. “She told you that?”
He shook his head. “Nah, but her sister did.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Hannah:
I clung to Breaker’s waist, my knuckles white. We hadn’t even started going fast yet, barely made it out of the parking lot of the club, but it felt like we were going a million miles an hour. I had my helmet on tight, but I was certain if I leaned the wrong way or loosened my grip, both of us would go flying off the bike. So I held on tight.
I was in awe at the way he maneuvered the noisy machine. He seemed at one with the road, avoiding every pothole, every dip, knowing exactly when to speed up and slow down. After a few miles, I felt like I could breathe again. I started to enjoy the feeling of being so close to him, even though we couldn’t exactly talk. I learned more about him on this ride than I had in all the years of knowing him.
I had no idea where Erie was. I’d never traveled beyond the local mall. He told me it was way up north. He told me there was a zoo there. It was so thoughtful. Our first real date, and he was taking me to see the animals. I would’ve been happy spending the day in bed with him, my thighs still trembling from this morning, but he was right, the fresh air made me feel a lot better. To be out in the world. Without a care in the world.
Something amazing was happening in my mind. Where I assumed all I could think about was my past in these non-talking moments, honestly, I didn’t give much of a thought to where I had been just yesterday. All I could think about was my future. The man in front of me. The man who squeezed my hand at stop signs and kissed my face when we stopped to get gas. I understood quite quickly why he loved his motorcycle so much.
My legs were rubber when I got off the bike. There wasn’t many people in the parking lot at the zoo, and there definitely weren’t any people who looked like us. I’d grown accustomed to people gawking at me when I went out in public. This wasn’t any different than showing up in town wearing my customary bonnet, people constantly trying to take my picture with their cellphone like I wouldn’t notice. People gawked at Breaker in his black leather vest, but they kept their distance. They definitely didn’t try to take pictures. I guess to a normal person he might look scary. I guess people feared what his club represented. I didn’t, though. I knew deep down he was a big old softie, and he’d never hurt me.
The way he kept his arm around my waist as we walked through the exhibits, looking at all the creatures, it was nothing like the way Jacob used to grab me. It felt good. It felt nice. I liked people knowing I was his. I liked the way he stole kisses from me when nobody was watching. It felt devious, but it felt right.
When we got to the room where they kept the koala bears, one of the workers was inside. I pressed my face up against the glass, watching in fascination as she clicked her tongue, and held out some leaves. The bear climbed down out of the tree and walked over to her. She picked it up in her arms, and it began munching on some leaves.
“I would die,” I said. “I would absolutely die if I ever got to do something like that.”
“For real?” he asked, a smirk on his face. “You really love animals, huh?”
I nodded, watching as the koala cozied up to the woman, resting its head on her chest as it contentedly crunched away. Breaker lifted his hand, waving the woman over to us. She came up to the glass, and he tapped on it, pointing at me. The woman nodded to him. “Come around the side door,” she mouthed, using her thumb to point to the left.
“How’d you do that?” I asked.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a laugh, guiding me to the side door. He opened it up, and standing in the hallway with the koala in her arms was the woman.
“Oh my God,” I said, my hands trembling. “I’ve never seen one of these before.” I didn’t know much about koala bears at all except for the section of my classwork on marsupials. I knew they were the most adorable things in the world, they had pouches, and their babies were called joeys. I knew I wanted to grab that thing and squeeze it, but just being a few feet away had me almost in tears.
“This is Kayla,” she said. “She’s going to be a mother soon. You came at the perfect time. I was just bringing her back so we could examine her pouch and make sure her joey is healthy.”
“I’m Breaker,” he said. “This is my girl, Hannah. She really loves animals.”
“I was studying to be a vet tech,” I blurted out.
“No shit,” he said. “Looks like you learn something new every day.”
“Well, that’s how I got my start,” the woman said. “I was a vet tech for a few years while I studied wildlife technology. Now I get to play with animals every day. It’s a dream come true.”
“You’re so lucky,” I said.
“Keep studying. We’re always looking for help here.” I smiled, reality hitting me that at this point in my life, I was on the edge of anything is possible. Nobody would ever tell me I couldn’t do something ever again. Nobody would hold me back. If I finished my schooling, maybe I could be the lady who took care of the pregnant koala bears someday, too. “Now let me guess… you want to hold her?”
“Can I?” I asked, in a voice that I didn’t even recognize.
“You’d think you were talking about Zac Efron or some shit,” Breaker said.
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“We’re gonna keep it that way.” He started to laugh. The woman gave me some eucalyptus leaves, and the little critter began twitching her nose. She reached out and grabbed my shoulder, her warm fuzzy body resting on my chest.
“Hi pretty mama,” I said, as she relaxed into the crook of my arm, eating the leaves out of my hand. I stayed still, despite my strange urge to just squeeze her and hug her and cover her in kisses.
“You guys from around here?” the zookeeper asked Breaker. I couldn’t help but notice the way she was standing, her hip popped out. She was twirling her fingers through her hair. He didn’t even look at her, his eyes transfixed on me and the koala. That woman was much prettier than I was, and I knew she probably w
asn’t half as messed up as me, but he didn’t seem to notice. Didn’t seem to care. My knees felt weak. I was the luckiest girl in the universe.
“Down south a ways,” he said. “We’re just in town for the day.”
“That’s a shame,” she said. “I get off at seven. I know a pretty good spot if you two want to party.”
Now, the woman was looking at me, batting her long eyelashes. I bursted out laughing out of sheer nervousness, the poor koala bear digging its little claws into my arm to steady itself.
“Maybe some other time,” he said, shaking his head no at me.
“I should probably get her back to her room and get her cleaned,” the woman said, reaching out for the koala. Maybe I was just imagining things, but the way she ‘accidentally’ grabbed my breast as she reached for the bear was a little strange.
We walked down the hallway and back onto the main path of the zoo and he started cracking up.
“What just happened there?” I asked, linking my fingers in his.
“I knew I was going to have a hard time keeping the guys off you, babe. Apparently I gotta watch the women, too.”
“No way,” I whispered. “She wasn’t…”
“Oh, she was totally hitting on you. You’re fucking hot, Hannah.” He put his arm around my waist and squeezed me tight to him.
“No way,” I giggled, pressing my head into his chest. It was such a hilarious thought. Nobody ever paid attention to plain old me.
“Too bad for her. I don’t fucking share with anybody. Don’t care if it’s a man or a woman or a koala bear.”
“What’s that even mean?” I asked.
“Nothin’ you ever have to worry about.” He pressed his lips to my forehead, and we walked through the rest of the exhibits, making faces at the monkeys and watching sea otters flip around in the water, sunning their furry bellies. The whole while, I couldn’t stop laughing to myself about that woman. Were people really so bold? What was it about his leather vest that brought out that side in people?
The very last section of the zoo was a petting zoo area, and I almost felt like I was back at home amongst the ducks and the mini ponies. A goat started to chase me around, nipping at the back pocket of my jeans, trying to rip it off and Breaker laughed.
“I don’t share with goats, either,” he said, petting the thing on its head as it started to chew on his shirt. “Everybody in this damn place wants a piece of my woman.”
“Where to, now?” I asked as we walked out into the parking lot.
“First, I need food,” he said. “Then, we gotta stop and talk to one of my friends real quick. Then, I’m going to find us a nice little hotel to spend the night at. Maybe something on the lake?”
“As long as it has a bed, I’ll be happy,” I said, batting my eyelashes like the zookeeper did. I couldn’t do it with a straight face.
“You’re something else,” he said, pecking my lips, his beard brushing up against my cheek. “What are you hungry for? Pizza? Tacos?”
“Whatever you want, babe,” I said, slipping my hand in his back pocket. I saw the way that woman looked at him. Same way she looked at me. I knew one thing for certain, I don’t fucking share with anybody, either, and I would make sure the entire world knew it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Breaker:
I hoped my visit with Kid would be a short one. I loved the guy like my brother, but bringing Hannah around his MC, even if I made it clear she was my old lady, wasn’t exactly something I had a great feeling about. At least the boys at home knew her situation. They knew better than to fuck with her. Her first day out in the world, and I was dragging her into a place where she would probably get a real education about what usually went on in a clubhouse.
“What’s wrong?” she asked as I leaned up against my bike, lighting up a cigarette. It was getting dark, and I was getting cold feet about bringing her inside. Couldn’t leave her out in the parking lot, though.
“Why don’t we go get a room, I’ll get you comfy, and I’ll come back and take care of this myself,” I said.
“These people are your friends, right?” she asked. “They should be my friends, too, right?”
“Oh trust me, they’re gonna wanna be your friends, all right,” I said. If they had any idea who she was or where she came from, I knew we were in for a rough night. “Why you gotta be so damn pretty?”
“Stop,” she said. I pulled my leather jacket out of my backpack and put it on her, hoping it would hide her perfect body. It only made her look even hotter, but maybe it was just because I liked seeing my name and my patch on her body.
“Don’t leave my side,” I said sternly. “Don’t tell anybody who you are. We’re just gonna go in, talk to Kid, and then it’s just you and me babe for the rest of the night.”
She nodded and clasped my hand tight. I’d never get over the feeling of her fingers wrapped in mine. Gave me electric shocks that protruded right to my heart. And my dick. Nothing like a four-hour drive with a raging hard boner. I couldn’t wait to get her back to the hotel.
I pushed open the front door of the warehouse. Ransom lifted his head up from his cellphone and threw me a nod. You could barely see your hand in front of your face through the cloud of smoke. Metallica blared through the speakers, but the place was otherwise quiet. The place always reminded more of a sports bar than a clubhouse, but the Deadringer flags hanging from the wall and the bartender with the tribal tattoos all over his face said otherwise.
“Kid around?” I asked. “He should be expecting me.”
Ransom pointed to the end of the bar where my best friend growing up, the only dude who really knew my back story sat, nursing a bottle of beer. We walked over to him, and he stood up from his stool, throwing his arms around me. Dude was at least a foot shorter than me, but he was solid muscle, stacked. He went from fighting in the streets with me to a semi-pro boxing career, but he just couldn’t keep himself out of the drug game. Only now, he had an empire. Now he only dealt in volume. 99% of the cocaine coming into the state went through his hands first. Go big or go home, I guess.
“It’s good to see you, Alex,” he said, his voice a lot raspier than I remembered. “Who’s the lucky bitch?”
He grabbed Hannah by the chin, looking in her eyes, and she jumped back, startled.
“I don’t bite, babe,” he said. “Unless you’re into that.”
“It ain’t like that,” I said, pushing in between the two of them. “This is my old lady.”
“What?” he stammered. “Like for real? Since fucking when?”
“You don’t answer your damn phone,” I said. “This is Hannah. Hannah, this is Kid. He might look tough but I can still take him.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Hannah. No disrespect.” He grabbed her hand and kissed it and she stood there with her eyes open all wide like, like she didn’t know what to do. “You like beer? Or you want something girlie? I think we got some wine coolers back there. Decker!” he shouted, clapping his hands. “Something fruity for my friend. And whatever the lady is drinking.”
“I’m good,” I said. “Got the bike, got the girl, gotta get back to town.”
“Boy, Colt has you on a short leash these days. When’d you turn into such a pussy?”
It wasn’t that I was turning into a pussy. I was trying to get into some pussy. “Whatever. Just gimme a beer. You want something?” I asked Hannah.
“I think whiskey?”
“Just whiskey? You sure?”
She shrugged and I wasn’t going to argue. If the woman wanted whiskey, I wasn’t one to judge.
“You want ice?” the burly bartender asked. Again, she shrugged.
“You don’t have to drink anything,” I whispered to her.
“I think I would like to,” she said.
“I think I’ll have whiskey, too,” Kid said. “I like this bitch.” Every time he said the word, I cringed. I never had time to explain to her it’s just how we talked. I didn’t like anybody calling h
er a bitch. I slowly nursed my beer, watching her as she took little sips from the glass, shuddering every time she tipped it back.
“I feel so warm,” she said, grinning from ear to ear.
“Take off your jacket,” Kid said. “Let’s see what we’re working with here.”
“Do not take that fucking jacket off,” I growled. “And you, knock it off. Come on, we got business.”
“I miss the old Alex,” he said, grumbling as he got up from his stool. We followed him back through a set of swinging doors, down a long brightly lit hallway, and into his office. I tossed the baggies on his desk without a word. Hannah wandered around, running her finger over bookshelves and knick knacks. “I don’t even know who messes with stamps anymore,” he said. “Ain’t worth the effort.”
He dumped out the heroin onto a white index card on the desktop. Just seeing it there made my skin crawl. Knowing that shit killed my mama. Knowing that shit damn near killed Hannah. I hated everything about it. He pulled out a knife and scooped a little on the tip, snorting it up his nose.
“What the fuck, dude?!” I shouted. “You don’t know what the fuck’s in that.”
“Just a baby bump,” he said. “Shit won’t kill me.”
“You’re a dumb motherfucker,” I growled.
“You knew that for the last thirty years, brother,” he said, laughing. “This shit’s weak as fuck. If somebody tried to sell me this, I’d kick their ass for wasting my time. Probably been stepped on at least five or six times. Tastes like powdered milk.” He held the knife up to me, and I pushed it away. Hannah looked concerned. She hovered in the corner, gripping her arm, like she knew exactly what was going on. “People OD-ing on this junk, ya’ll need to come up north. You got some weak fucking junkies down there.”
“He put it in my arm. Jacob did. With a needle. He tied something on my arm right here, and he stuck it in. Then I fell asleep,” she muttered. “I remember. I remember now!”