by Tiana Laveen
I’ve been miserable these past couple of weeks without you, babe…
Before he knew it, she’d sung the entire song, not missing a syllable. When she was finished, she had a huge smile on her face. He clapped and gave her a standing ovation. Stepping back inside the booth, he closed it behind him and hugged her so damn tight.
She looked up into his eyes, wrapped her arms around him, and returned his embrace. Lost in the moment, he soon had her ass in the palms of his hands. Lifting her off the floor, he pressed her back against the glass wall. He kissed her, his body turning into a human inferno incapable of being put out. His pent-up need for her overflowed, bursting free at last. His dick pushed painfully against his boxers, needing an escape, a place to play and lie between her legs.
“Damn, baby, I missed the shit outta you. I love you so fuckin’ much!” he muttered between frantic kisses along her neck. “I could cum just by looking into your eyes right now…”
Yanking at her jacket, he kept kissing her, trying to get beyond the layers of clothing that dared stand in his way. She pulled his belt out of his jeans, undressing him while he enveloped her now exposed breast in his mouth. She sighed when he flicked his tongue against the nipple, finally back home where it belonged. A cool breeze from a vent above hit their now naked bodies. Looking deeply into her eyes, he opened her legs. She crisscrossed her arms behind his neck, ankles around his back, and held on tight.
“AHHHH! Ahhh!” she screamed as he entered her in one swift, unbreakable upward plunge. Another, and another… She slid up against the wall with each thrust, her hairstyle unraveling. His fingers dug into the soft, rounded flesh of her ass, and his groans blended with her screams as he took her… had his way with her… fucked her with all that was in him. Balls deep. She pulled at his hair, and her eyes rolled back. Their lust for one another couldn’t be contained another second.
“I love how you feel inside me!”
Her admission turned him on impossibly more.
“Mine. You’re fucking mine!” he growled. “They had to pay to get between these legs! It was a job for you! A chore! I get this shit for free, anytime I fucking want it! MY FUCKIN’ PUSSY! Do you even remember those mothafuckas names?!” He grabbed her chin, made her face him. “The ones that had my woman without my say-so?!”
“No! No, I don’t remember their names!”
“I didn’t think so. You only need to know one name now, and you’re damn sure going to remember it. Mine. SAY IT!”
“Gutter! Shit! Zake! You’re fucking me so hard!”
“You’re a light-weight! Wait until I get you in bed tonight. Might need to call the police on me and tell them I’m fuckin’ you to death! Attempted murder of the punanai. Are you keeping any other secrets from me, C.B.?!”
“No! No baby, I’m not! I promise! Oh God!”
“Good. Now I gotta fuck the truth outta you to be sure! Shit!”
He thrust faster and harder, her body rocking against that glass wall, banging and sliding as he tried to get deeper—to enter her mind, body, and soul. He gritted his teeth when her pussy muscles squeezed around his dick. Strangling it so damn good. That move of hers was often his undoing, but he held on, wanting a little more time. More of her.
“You feel so amazing, Promise. FUCK!”
Her eyes widened, lips parted, and she shivered. A gush of warmth surrounded his pumping dick as she came, coating him with her exceptional juices. Plunging his tongue inside her mouth, he delivered rapid pumps, fastening her arms to the wall by intertwining their fingers. He refused to turn her loose until he was good and satisfied. He swallowed her whimpers and cries with a long, passionate kiss… and it was then that he came undone, firing his liquid silk in fast spurts inside her pulsating love.
“Shit…” With a heavy groan, he came down from the high, covered in sweat, breathing hard.
His dick twitched within her, throbbing, wanting more… craving her again. But he reluctantly retreated from her warm cocoon, resigned to the fact he couldn’t help himself to seconds right then. They had to be on their way.
Putting their clothing back on, they walked out of the booth and she went to the bathroom. Meanwhile, he gathered his phone and wallet, and two bottles of cold water for them.
Soon, she was by his side again, and he relished how her hips moved as she stepped away, much slower than before. I fucked the shit outta her… she can barely walk. I can’t wait to get some more tonight. As they left the studio, he locked the door, then sent Terry a quick text, letting him know they were finished with their ‘song.’ When they’d gotten into his truck, they looked at one another, then burst out laughing at the same time. It was as if they’d never been apart. She made him feel like a kid. Silly and free.
“The back of my head hurts a little from banging against that glass wall. I didn’t even pay attention at the time… too busy enjoying my time with you.” She laughed, running her hand against her crown. “Either I sang so beautifully you couldn’t resist me, or I sang so horribly, you needed to shut me up,” she teased. “You fucked me like you were some animal.”
“You made me do that to you. That was all your fault,” he said with a smile as he took off down the street.
“My fault?!” She shook her head, looking appalled.
“Yeah, you know you look good tonight in your little business suit and heels. You know that turns me on.”
“Psssh!” She laughed and rolled her eyes.
“All right, baby, what do you want to eat?”
“Um… not sure. Wings sound good.”
“Yeah, that does sound good. I could go for some wings, too. We could go over to… damn, what’s that place not too far from here called that we went to that one time?”
“The Wingbar.”
“Yeah… Let’s try them again.”
Just then, his phone buzzed.
“Hold that thought.” It was Terry. “What’s up, man? I forget to turn off the lights?”
“No, you sick ass horny monster. You forgot to turn off the fuckin’ audio record button of your little singin’ session. I guess that was the extended cut, huh? You fuckin’ freak!”
They both burst out laughing as his face heated with surprise.
“Oh shit! My bad, man.”
How ironic. I made a sex tape with Promise, in my own way. Audio only.
“I should’ve known you were up to some shit. Askin’ me to leave… If I find your baby batter splashed any fuckin’ where in this booth, that’s yo’ ass, Gutter!” And then, the man hung up. He looked at Promise and guffawed until his stomach hurt.
“What?” she asked, a confused look on her face. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, baby. I’m starving. Let’s get you fed.” As he attempted to pull himself together, he could see her looking at him from the corner of his eye. “Oh, and I’m spending the night at your crib this evening.”
“Are you now?” she asked with a half-grin.
“Yeah, and I expect a round two, three, and four. What happened in that booth tonight was nothin’. Fucked you like an animal you say? What I did to you just now will make it seem like you were being tickled by Winnie the Pooh. I’m going to tear you up as soon as we hit your front door; running. And that’s a fucking promise.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
When a Man Loves a Woman
Last night was incredible…
Gutter slipped on a pair of white boxers he kept at Promise’s apartment then brushed his teeth. He hadn’t seen her since awakening to an empty bed, but when the most delightful, mouthwatering savory aromas floated from her kitchen to the bedroom, he knew what she was doing. What could that be? It didn’t smell like the typical fried pork bacon and buttery scrambled eggs one would expect for breakfast. Gutter ran a bath towel over his hair, wicking the moisture from his shower. He made his way out of the bedroom, stopping in his tracks when he reached the kitchen.
“Oh my God… What’s up in here? Did you cook everything in the re
frigerator and pantry?”
“I hope you don’t mind. I wasn’t sure what you’d want to eat, so I cooked all of your favorite foods.” She stood in a light black robe, her hair draped along her shoulders and parted down the middle. He noticed her purse on the edge of the counter, and a pair of sneakers that were out of place. Not her style.
She’s been outside.
Covering practically every inch of counter space were mountains of steaming hot entrées: shrimp fried rice, baked chicken with rosemary garnish, broccoli cheese casserole, steak and onions, and a huge bowl of Caesar salad.
“What in the world have you been doing in here, baby? Chef Ramsay-ette is my lover. Damn!” He looked around in wonder. She offered a small smile, her cheeks turning a deeper shade. “I just can’t believe that while I was asleep and then up showering, you’ve been cooking all of this food.”
“Yeah. I went to the store and bought what I needed. Some things I didn’t already have. I know your favorite color, which is gray, your favorite holiday is the fourth of July, and I know most of your favorite foods. I picked up your favorite beer, too.” She raised a bottle of chilled Corona. Gutter approached her and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry about what I did, Zake. It was a shitty thing to do. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t right.” Her voice quivered.
“You’ve already apologized.”
“I know, but I knew better, Zake. I’m so mad at myself. I could’ve lost you forever… I knew it was wrong. I just didn’t know it would blow up like this. Now, I’m not only ashamed about the porn being discussed and rearing its ugly head, but I’m also ashamed of myself for going against my better judgment. I’m the one who tells everyone else to be truthful and not be afraid, but here I was, lying and scared. I’m a hypocrite!” He could feel the tears on his shoulder as she leaned into him. Rubbing her back, he simply held her. Caressed her. “I didn’t want to hurt you, baby, but I hurt you more by not telling you. I’m so sorry, Zake! God, I am so sorry!”
She fell apart. He kissed the top of her head and rocked with her.
“I know what you’ve been dealing with online, and it’s all my fault. I called your mother and confessed. It was eating me up inside.”
“That explains the strange voicemail I just played from her. She left it while we were asleep.”
“What’d she say?”
He stepped back, crossed his legs, and leaned against the side of her refrigerator.
“She said she tried to call you first, but you didn’t answer, so she left it on my phone instead. I pretty much have her message memorized: ‘Being human and falling in love is not a crime. Making mistakes along the way will be met with judgment from people throwing stones in glass houses, but as long as you admit you were the problem and clean up the mess you created, you’ll be fine. Own your mistakes. Know you did the right thing by correcting what went wrong, and be proud of yourself, whether you’re forgiven or not. You have to forgive yourself first.’ I had no idea why she left that message until now.” He shrugged. “What made you tell her?”
She slipped past him and opened a cupboard, removing a couple of plates.
“She loves you.” She picked a cup, then another. “She would be disappointed in me if she knew what happened. Your mother isn’t just a client, Zake. She’s a friend of mine at this point. I owed her the truth, too.”
“Jenny of all people has no room to judge you.” He laughed mirthlessly. “That would really be some fuckin’ nerve on her part, Promise.”
“She does have the right to judge me.” With a solemn expression, she gave him a gentle nudge to move him away from the refrigerator door. She opened it and grabbed a carafe of iced tea. “She’s still your mother. I owe her some respect for that alone.” She paused to blink back tears. “And even though she messed up and did what she did to you, she tells me things, Zake. All sorts of things.”
“Like what? Is it private, or can you share it with me?”
“Let me just put it like this. She is being eaten alive by guilt. She cries a lot.” She grabbed a lemon from a bowl and began to slice it. “She would do anything for you. She is full of pain right now, not just physically, but emotionally. So, even though she hurt someone I love—you—I forgive her because I know she loves you so much and is grateful for everything you’ve done for her. If she could do it over again, she would not have made those same choices. I understand guilt. Shame. Judgment. I was judged when I was making those movies, not understanding at the time how that sort of thing comes back to haunt you. Now, I’ll have to eventually tell my mother. This is never-ending.” She paused and sighed. “She doesn’t get online or anything like that, but with everything that has happened, she’s going to find out. Westley already knows about it, like I told you. Anyway, it’s time for me to go on my ‘come clean’ tour.”
He crossed his arms and groaned. “If you need me with you while you’re on tour,” he winked at her, “I’ll be there.” She smiled back at him, then placed some of the lemons into the tea. “We all get judged, baby. If Jesus Christ was lied on, put on trial, and persecuted, then we definitely aren’t exempt. A lot of people are always quick to wag their finger at someone else, tell them what they’re doin’ is wrong, but won’t look at themselves in the mirror. That’s why I live my life the way I do. I don’t care what people think about me. That’s gospel. What I care about is how other people treat the folks I care about. So, that’s how people try to hurt me. That’s why they’re coming for you.”
“It’s good that you’re that way, you know, as far as not being concerned about how people view you. I’m that way with many people, too, except for men I’m in love with. I’ve not been in love often, but I noticed when I am in love with someone, I… I don’t know,” she sighed, “something in me changes. I want to please my man… make him smile. It’s the only time I feel fear. I guess that’s why I’ve avoided falling in love again for so long.”
“You know, my father suggested I’m the way I am because of Jenny. The trust thing. You think maybe you’re like that? Like, wanting to please because of your father?” Promise leaned against the wall, her expression thoughtful. “You told me he’s been in prison most of your life, and he didn’t treat your mother right.”
“I think what you’re saying plays a part in it for sure. I’ve been judged by my father who had a lot of boldness to tell me what I needed to be doing and not doing, seeing he was behind bars. My mother was a great parent, Zake, but when it came to my father, she was… so weak.”
She grabbed a napkin and used it to dry her tears. “Because she put him before us, some things happened that shouldn’t have. Westley and I suffered because of my father’s selfishness and egoism. But somewhere inside me, I believe I was always looking for someone to replace him. Someone who would think I was great. Fantastic even… I don’t like that about myself. I wish I could get rid of it. It’s like I have to be told by my significant other, ‘Good job, honey!’ I shouldn’t need that sort of validation. How stupid. I’m wrecked.” She slumped against the counter and shook her head. “Only broken people do what I did. I can’t believe I did this to you. It was so wrong!”
“Baby, what are you talking about? Why are you beating yourself up like this? I told you that I forgive you.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and made her look at him. “Yeah, the trust has been broken, okay? But I could tell you were genuinely sorry, and I know something like this isn’t going to happen again. That’s all that matters to me. The fact we can learn from this and move forward.”
She sniffed, then stepped outside his embrace. “Zake, I’m smarter than what I did. I knew better, and that’s what hurts the most. I know how to run my job like a pro. I can handle almost anything, but when it came to you… I loved you so much. Shit!” She buried her face in the palms of her hands and he reached out to hold her again. “I loved you so much that I felt like if I could pretend to be a good girl, to get the ‘Good job, honey,’ and ‘You’re fantastic,’ that I never got from my daddy
, then I could pretend this would just blow over, and you’d never find out. What kind of fantasy land was I living in? I would try to convince myself that I could go to the grave with this. If you weren’t a celebrity, that may have worked.” She shook her head and laughed sadly. “But you’re Gutter—of course you’d find out. I’ll earn your trust again. I have to. I’ll work hard at it. I promise.”
She suddenly straightened up, blew her nose, then washed her hands in the sink. “Sit down in the living room and get ready to be fed like a king. The food is getting’ cold, baby…”
Gutter went to plop down on the couch. His muscles ached so good. They’d made love all night long and into the wee hours of the morning. When he finally fell asleep, he was out for hours, exhaustion hitting him like a ton of bricks. During that deep rest he was in, she’d snuck out of her apartment without him hearing a thing and returned to cook a feast of epic proportions. A peace offering. Promise’s love language was to nurture. That was why she’d become a nurse, and then, an assistant funeral director. It all made sense to him now.
Maybe Dad was right. Maybe Jenny was right, too, with all of that psychobabble hippie talk. She told me one day that whatever our love language is, it all comes from trauma. I’m possessive because I’m afraid of the people I love leavin’ me, or them forcing me to leave them due to something they did. I protect the people I love, especially the women in my life, because I didn’t feel protected from the pain Jenny caused… Damn. That’s crazy.
“Baby!” he yelled out as he grabbed the remote and turned on her television.
“Yeah?”
“As long as we’re honest with each other from this moment forward, and think about each other’s needs, work on re-building the trust, we’ll be fine. I’m not perfect, either. I don’t want to hear any more about this. I mean it,” he said sternly. “It’s bad enough what happened, and I understand why you were afraid to tell me. Didn’t make it right for you to keep this to yourself, but I get it, and that counts for something. I’m not going to let you keep beating yourself up about it. And one more thing… You are a good girl. You’re my girl. You’re fantastic and amazing, from the top of your head to your toes, and I’m blessed to have you. In my eyes, that makes you golden…”