“What, Adam? Please tell me another one of your crazy theories on how I’ve been fighting my feelings for you for years.” The sarcasm in my voice had to be obvious.
“Mock me all you want, but I know you were just as drawn to and turned on by me as I was by you. That’s why you ran that day.” He reached across the table and traced his fingertips across my hand, sending tingles up my spine.
My heart rate climbed as I watched his eyes darken.
“Did you want me instantly like I wanted you? Did you feel the pull, Eve?”
I snatched my hand away. “No.”
It wasn’t a complete lie. I thought he was beautiful that first day. No one had ever attempted to rescue me. I’d always had to be my own hero. I even thought about going to coffee with him for a half a second. But again, like I’d said, something about him had been off putting. Everything in me said run. I always listened to my instincts. They kept me safe and they obviously were right. He was a nut. I tried not to fidget under his appraisal.
He chuckled then leaned back in his chair and observed me for a second before commenting. “I don’t believe you, and you don’t believe all I want to do is fuck you. That’s what you tell yourself. That’s what you want this to be about. Anything deeper scares you.”
“Because that’s all this is about. Look at us.” I gestured to my nearly naked form.
He was in boxers and a t-shirt. To further prove my point, I ran my tongue slowly across my bottom lip. His eyes followed the trail my tongue made. He even leaned in.
I shook my head. “See? Look at you, ready to jump on me over something as simple as wetting my lips. Why don’t we just fuck so I can go home? Don’t make this about more than it is.”
The sound of his hand slamming against the table startled me. “No,” he shouted.
I shot up from my seat, afraid. I tried backing away, but just as fast, he was up, roughly grabbing my face.
“Look at me.” He didn’t force my head around, but his grip on my jaw tightened until I faced him willingly. “Don’t you fucking dare venture to tell me what I want. I know what I want, Eve, and it’s not just to fuck you. From the moment I saw you standing in that courtyard I knew this thing between us was deeper than sex. You’re mine, the other half of me, and you’ll come to realize it soon enough or maybe it’ll take years. I don’t care. I’ll wait until you do.” His hold loosened, and his hand dropped to his sides. He was so angry heat radiated off his body.
I swallowed, and sat down before I fell, I was reeling from the violent grip of fear that had overtaken me. I also had to get control over the other feeling that had settled in the pit of my stomach. Adam wanted a reaction out of me, but I wouldn’t give him one. Yes, his grip on my face hurt, but I would be damn if I relinquished any more control over my person to him.
“You’re so full of shit,” I snapped. “From the moment I saw you,” I mocked his words.
I expected him to become angrier the more I antagonized him, but instead, a lascivious smile slowly spread across his lips.
“I have a question,” he drawled, his tone bold and sexy.
“What?” I stuttered, taken aback by his sudden change in mood.
“Are you wet?”
His question threw me off even more.
“That’s a really random question, Adam.”
“Answer the question, Eve. I dare you”
“No. I’m not.”
He retook his seat, leaned back in his chair then took hold of his dick that lay long and hard against his thigh. The thin fabric of his boxers hid nothing. I tried to pretend like I didn’t notice, but my eyes kept finding their way back to it. He caught my split-second glance then smirked.
“I’ll make a deal with you, Eve. If I reach under the table and find that your pussy isn’t sopping wet,” he drawled, making his words sound deliciously nasty, “I’ll let you go?”
“Yeah right. You say that until you find out I’m dry as the Sahara, then you’ll find another reason to keep me here. I’m not even going to entertain your lies, Adam.”
His forehead scrunched up at my words “I’m not the liar, Eve. You are. So, do we have a deal?”
Annoyed deep down in my soul I got up and left him sitting at the table. I heard him laughing as I closed the bathroom door. I didn’t even have to check my panties to know they were wet. I took them and my shirt off then got into the shower and tried to wash some of my annoyance away.
T W E L V E
I decided to give Eve reprieve. My teasing seemed to be a bit too much. It worked though because a couple of days followed without incident. I fed off the smallest bit of attention she gave me. I listened intently while she shared things, her likes and wants, stories from her childhood when she was happy. We watched movies and talked about mundane shit like we were friends.
The entire time, she asked nothing of me. There were no questions about my wife or when I’d let her go. She showed me no hostility, and best of all, she let me touch her. I started thinking I could see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe she was coming around?
Curiosity got the better of me after a while. I wanted to know why she was suddenly okay with being there. We lay in bed together, side by side, both staring at the ceiling while enjoying being in one another’s space. The last thing I wanted to do was bring tension back to our situation, but I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about it.
I asked, “What’s changed?”
The mattress shifted. I felt the heat of her stare on the side of my face. I knew she wanted me to turn and look at her, but I couldn’t. I was too scared to face her. I didn’t want to see the truth in her eyes. Her words alone would probably hurt enough.
“You want to know the truth?” she asked.
It pleased me that I didn’t have to elaborate about what I meant by the question. She just knew. It was like that at times. She knew me without me having to explain myself to her. That confirmed that what I’d done the last four years had been worth it. We were meant to be.
“No lie to me,” I responded sarcastically.
I didn’t have to see her roll them to know she was rolling her pretty eyes. That seemed to be her favorite response when it came to me.
“I’ve resigned myself to just accept this. What else could do? “
Her declaration made me frown. I wanted her to want to be there with me. She reached out to cup my face. She brushed her thumb against my jawline. Her hands were soft and felt good against my skin.
“You need to shave,” she said.
The simple show of affection caused my heart to beat rapidly. It didn’t erase the fact that she’d just told me she’d just given up and let me have my way. Her rejection hurt more than her anger did.
As if sensing my mood change, she said, “Don’t be like that.” She smoothed her hand down my cheek, trying to make me feel better. “It’s not exactly a bad thing, me accepting something I have no control over. At least I am no longer fighting you. That’s a plus.”
No, it’s wasn’t a fucking plus, but for the sake of not turning our conversation into an argument I said nothing as she continued.
“I decided to consider this a vacation.” She licked her lips before continuing. “Honestly, I was kind of tired of it all.” I noted sadness in her eyes and voice before she withdrew her hand and turned onto her back.
“I know,” I said.
“I figured you would.” She exhaled and closed her eyes.
Finally, she was coming to accept the fact that I knew things about her. I knew she was tired of school, tired of trying to make everything work in her favor without any help. I didn’t have to imagine it was hard for her because I could see it in her eyes. She had looked drained in the last eight to ten months.
She needed someone. I wanted to intervene so many times. It would have been easy to hand her a check or even a suitcase full of money. Her school debt I could have paid a hundred times over without thought. I’d never go broke. But I knew she
wouldn’t accept it. I wouldn’t have wanted her to accept my help either. Handouts and charity weren’t part of who she was. It would have changed her.
“You know sometimes I think about killing myself? Like my momma,” she said out of the blue. “Even went as far as swallowing a bottle of pills, but I got scared and threw them up. I’m not even brave enough to end it all.” She laughed bitterly.
Her confession surprised me and filled me with dread. I hadn’t known it was that bad. The thought of her leaving me, permanently, before I got a chance to be like this with her brought tears to my eyes. It rendered me speechless. For the first time in a long time I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.
I pulled her closer and wrapped my arms around her. She pressed her face against my chest. I felt my t-shirt moisten with her tears. I didn’t care. I held her tight and let her cry herself to sleep, all while fighting back my own tears. I’d never cried before, and I didn’t know if I wanted my first time to be in front of her. The thought of missing the signs that she had once been ready to end it all and I hadn’t been there to help her through it filled me with unfamiliar emotions. I fought against them and concentrated on the feel of her warm body pressed against mine.
It wasn’t too long before my eyes became heavy. It had been years since I’d fallen asleep without the help of sleeping pills. I wasn’t surprised that all it took was her body heat warming me. I was lulled to sleep by the sounds of her even breathing.
T H I R T E E N
It felt like I’d only been sleeping a few minutes when Adam violently shook me awake. Groggily I sat up in bed, rubbed my eyes and tried to focus on his face. When the haze of sleep cleared my head enough to take in my surroundings, I found him sitting next to me with his jaw clenched. I heard his teeth grinding. It was obvious he was furious, but why? Panic replaced fatigue.
I tried to think of what I could have done. The last thing I remembered was telling him about my suicide attempt. Could that have been the reason? I gazed over at the digital alarm clock on the night stand. It was five in the morning. He wouldn’t have waited that long to say something if that had been what had pissed him off. Patience was not one of his virtues.
“Who’s Dwight?” he questioned, jealousy evident in his tone.
I groaned inwardly then lied directly to his face without remorse. “Dwight? I don’t know a Dwight.”
He knew I was lying. The look on his face said as much. I only dealt with Dwight in my dreams or nightmares.
“Why do you do that?” he asked.
“Do what?” I sucked my teeth, annoyed, and laid back down, hoping this conversation would end sooner rather than later.
“Lie. Why do you use cautious words or outright lies when the truth would be so much easier? You say you don’t know Dwight, but you called for him over and over in your sleep. Sounds like you know Dwight to me.”
He was pressuring me.
“Please go to bed, Adam. It’s too late for twenty-one questions.”
I just wanted to go back to sleep. I was tired physically and mentally.
“Answer me,” he demanded angrily, slamming his fist against the nightstand next to the bed.
It startled me fully awake. I jumped, but I didn’t cower.
“No,” I shouted back.
I refused to share what I’d never shared with anyone else. He knew too much already.
He snatched the bed covers off me. “Get up.”
I glared at him but stayed right where I was.
“Get the fuck up,” he growled, his eyes daring me to do anything but follow his directive.
Fine. I was tired of being bullied. If he wanted to fight, a fight he would get. I pushed myself up from the bed angrily and got right in his face.
“What are you going to do, Professor? Are you going to beat the answer out of me? I highly doubt it.”
Rage masked his features making him appear animalistic, but I was not intimidated by his evil stare down. I felt just as much rage and anger as he did, probably more at the fact that he felt entitled to know what I didn’t want to tell him.
“Rose...”
That name from his lips took the wind out of my sail. Suddenly I felt exposed and vulnerable.
“Don’t do this,” I pleaded.
The pleading wasn’t intentional. I wanted it to sound like a demand, but it came out weak. I was weak. Running my hands through my hair, I pulled the strands at the root. A misguided attempt to snatch out the unwelcomed memories that name always brought up. Rose was a part of my past I’d been fighting years to forget. Thinking about what happened involving her caused nausea to roil in my gut. I sat down on the side of the bed to keep from falling to my knees.
How in the hell did he know about Rose and how much did he know?
I’d only told my counselor and the therapist at children services I was forced to see. Most of what I told them had been lies and they’d said what we talked about would be confidential. I never even told the police what happened to me, no matter how many times they questioned. The truth would have made it worse for Dwight.
F O U R T E E N
The tears and hurt I saw in her eyes pulled at something in me. Made me wish I’d never awakened her. I mentally pushed back at it. I didn’t have time to humor her. At first this was one of the two secrets of hers I’d swore I’d never bring up. Sexual assault at such a young age was never easy to deal with and probably even harder for someone like Eve who liked to compartmentalize things. But how could I help heal her if she didn’t talk about the things that hurt her?
You’re telling lies, the voice sang in my head.
He was half right. I was telling half-truths. I wouldn’t deny the fact that jealousy played part in my anger. I’d watched her whisper his name as she reached for him in her sleep. I snapped.
Before I knew what was happening, she startled me from my thoughts by charging toward me. I saw rage vibrating just under her skin. I braced myself for an attack. She stopped just out of reach. Instead of lashing out physically she stood there, glaring at me.
Her lip curled in disgust. “Is there anything you don’t know about me? Do I have any secrets you don’t know about?”
“No,” I answered honestly.
I wanted to tell her that was how it was supposed to be. How would I heal her if I didn’t know everything about her? I kept that thought to myself. Now was not the time.
She laughed bitterly. Her fists were clenched so tightly at her side. I could tell it was taking everything in her to not physically attack me. Her only other weapons were her words. They had the ability to hurt me more than any punch could.
“I am sorry. Go back to bed. I won’t mention it again,” I offered, anything to deescalate the situation.
“No,” she snapped angrily. “You wanted to talk about it, now let’s talk about it. What do you think you know about Dwight and Rose?”
“Nothing,” I lied unconvincingly.
“Tell me,” she demanded.
I refused to go any further with the Rose and Dwight discussion. “No.”
She was seething, her whole body was visibly shaking. I saw it in her eyes that she was about to make me regret bringing up the subject.
“Tell me! Tell me now, you motherfucker.”
She reached out and slapped me. Once. Twice, and then again. Crazed she chanted “tell me” over and over again. I realized then this wouldn’t end well whether I told her or not. I’d pushed her over the edge. There was no turning back.
Adam & Eve- a Tale of Obsession Page 8