Adam & Eve- a Tale of Obsession

by Shantel Davis

  Recoiling away from his anger, I’d shrunk back into the hospital bed. The cold tone of his voice had chilled my blood. I still wanted to say something though, anything to defend myself. Before I could formulate a response, he’d turned, reared back and punched the wall next to the door so hard it left a dent behind. Then he stormed out of the room like the devil was at his heels.

  I was stunned at his reaction, and for the first time, I feared Adam. What if I pushed him to hurt me? Then I thought about why he was mad, and I felt guilty, just a bit. Michael had lied to me for months, and Adam’s wife had tried to hurt me. I shouldn’t have cared what happened to either of them. In the same sense, I also shouldn’t have cared about Adam’s feelings either. He was the cause of all my recent woes, but I did care, and it made absolutely no sense.

  I chocked it up to hormones and decided I would apologize, if only for my own sake. The reality of my situation dictated I was going to need his help. With my new medical issue, I had few options. I didn’t know anything about raising a child. Just the thought of doing so alone made me feel like I was drowning.

  When he returned, I was prepared to tuck my tail between my legs and grovel if I had to. I would have if he hadn’t ignored me when I tried. The next day when I was released, I didn’t object when he told me we were going back to the house he claimed to have built for us. I had no one else, and I was sad to say, I needed his help. My baby had to be my number one concern.

  Adam wouldn’t have to harm me if I lost my child. I’d most likely end myself. The baby already meant everything to me. I had nobody. My child would be someone I could put my all into. He or she would make life worth living. After showing me around the house and introducing me to his staff, he rarely spoke to me. Neither did the staff. Somewhere in between all the silence, he told me that he was now divorced.

  Two weeks later, I was sitting on the sofa in his cold sterile house trying to figure out a way to make my current living arrangement less uncomfortable. I considered apologizing again. The question was, would he be receptive? I chewed at my nails, contemplating how to approach him.

  Just as I decided to get up and find him to blurt it out and hope for the best, he walked into the room. Tension followed. My neck stiffened, and my nerves went haywire. I sat stock still as he headed right for me. I watched him as he laid five books on the coffee table. He looked everywhere but at me. Untucking my legs, I reached for one of the books once he arranged them to his liking. I sighed. More baby books.

  “How many of these do you expect me to read?” I asked.

  I’d read so many I swore my eyes would cross if I had to read another. I didn’t really expect a response, but I’d hoped for one. Finally, and I was sure with much reluctance on his part, he spared me a glance. Our eyes met. He didn’t speak or blink. He just stared at me in that penetrating way he did that made me think he could see right through me.

  I frowned. The look made me feel guilty and small, but I was proud of myself for not turning away under the heat of it. I was able to catch a glimpse of hurt in his eyes. All he wanted was for me to read the baby books. Maybe I could have done that without being a smart-aleck, right?

  Then something clicked. I became irrationally angry. Why was I feeling guilty? I hadn’t done anything to him. Why was I even contemplating apologizing? Instead, I challenged his stare with one of my own. He frowned then shook his head with disappointment. He righted himself, and without a word, he pivoted on the heel of his expensive shoes and walked back toward the kitchen.

  I fought the urge to chuck one of the books at the back of his head. Annoyance and anger made it hard for me to see straight. The sudden urge to tell him to fuck off-- directly to his face propelled me to my feet. I was ready to fight. As soon as I stood my head swam and the dizziness that followed made my stomach churn. Quickly I sat back down. I had to close my eyes and swallow hard to keep from puking. I took deep breaths until I calmed down enough to think rationally.

  What we were doing? Acting like two stubborn children wasn’t working. I needed to talk with Adam like an adult. I didn’t think he would be as dedicated to his silent treatment if he knew how much it was affecting me. I should have told him the very first day we arrived at this house, but I was too busy being stubborn. He had the right to be worried about the health of his child. I had the right to be angry, but not about that.

  It was a catch-22. I blinked back tears. Just the thought of crying made me angry. Crying wasn’t something I was used to. It was then I realized I was going to have to let the past go for now. I was going to have to let my guard down and have a talk with Adam about the future. The reality of the situation was I was stuck with him for the next eighteen years.

  I was still thinking about the talk I needed to have with Adam later that night in bed. I’d had ample time to speak with him earlier as he sat across the table from me while we ate dinner, but I couldn’t figure out a way to start the conversation. Hell, I didn’t even know what I really wanted to say. Me apologizing to him seemed backwards in my mind. He was the one who made things bad between us.

  Then I reasoned that maybe him taking me wasn’t all that bad. Maybe If I would have confronted him when I first found out he was watching me it wouldn’t have come to this point. I was not as naïve as I pretended to be at times. Even though I didn’t know the extent of his interest at the time, I’d noticed him noticing me. Yet, I ignored it.

  I also wondered what would have happened if he wouldn’t have taken me? I was at my wits end mentally and physically. Even being with Michael hadn’t been helping. I’d been going through the motions of everyday life on auto pilot. Then he came, my weird, stalkerish knight in dull armor, and sort of saved me?

  Speaking of Michael, I wondered if I should tell Adam about the text I’d received from him. Michael had asked where I was and if I was okay. I didn’t plan on texting or calling him back. He was supposed to be my friend. I had trusted him. I’d let my guard down for him and he had been lying to me the entire time. To someone like me, who didn’t trust anybody, that was unforgivable. I was more likely to forgive Adam for his craziness before Michael for his betrayal. I never trusted Adam, but I did trust Michael. That hurt because I didn’t normally trust people. To have him lie to me the way he had was worse than Adam kidnapping me.

  All the thoughts floating in my head at one time caused my brain to throb. I sat up and threw my legs over the side of the bed. I decided to go to Adam right that second. I wasn’t going to get any sleep until I did. I still didn’t know what I was going to say. I figured I’d just start talking until something came. I pulled on the red silk robe he’d bought me then headed toward the master bedroom.

  T W E N T E Y - F I V E

  I was awakened by the feeling of someone watching me. When I opened my eyes, I found Eve standing at the foot of my bed staring down at me. I was unable to decipher whether it was a dream or not. Before I even tried, I slid from under the covers. The side effects of sleeping pill and sitting up so abruptly caused blood to rush to my head which made my temples pound.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked through the grogginess, not sure she would respond.

  “Nothing’s wrong,” she said.

  I didn’t believe her and began to panic internally.

  “Is something wrong with the baby?” I asked. Had she changed her mind? Was she leaving me again? “Really what’s wrong? Is it the baby?”

  She hesitated to answer which caused my heart to drop. I didn’t know what she deciphered from the look on my face, but it made her rush to answer my question.

  “No. I just wanted to know if I could sleep with you?” she asked.

  Totally a fucking dream. Her request sounded too good to be real.

  She sighed audibly. “Can I lay down or not, Adam? No, you’re not dreaming.”

  Had I said that out loud or did she know me that well?

  She broke me from my thoughts. “May I?”

  I wanted to tell her no. I shouldn’t be so easy
to forgive her after she’d hurt me. But I was weak, and I’d missed her. I pulled back the sheets and made space for her beside me. I saw the uncertainty in her eyes as she made her way around the bed, but it didn’t stop her. When she slid her warm body next to mine, I almost choked on air.

  Long minutes passed as we lay side by side, just breathing.

  “Adam,” she started, then stopped. She cleared her throat.

  I held my breath. With Eve I never knew what to expect. I prepared for the worst.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice soft.

  Her apology surprised me, and though I wanted to believe it was sincere, I didn’t. Last time she apologized and then left as soon as I gave her the option.

  “Are you really? And for what?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry for making you worry about me and the baby.”

  “That’s it?” She had so much more to be apologetic about. “What about everything else?”

  “That’s all I feel I need to apologize for. Can’t that be enough?”

  No, because you hurt me, I wanted to scream, but I kept that to myself. I knew it would turn our conversation into an argument. I remained silent until she spoke again.

  “What do you want from me, Adam?”

  “I want everything. I want us, our baby. A family. I want to protect you.”

  I want to fuck you into a sinful oblivion. I kept that last part to myself, knowing the deep down she still thought everything I had done was all about sex. I needed her to know it was about more, much more.

  “I hate that I needed to hear you say that,” she admitted and continued before I could respond. “You know I’ll never love you, right?”

  “I don’t care. Love is trivial. I want devotion. I want adoration. I want you by my side willingly.”

  She sniggered. “You’re hopeless. You just described love, Adam.”

  “No, love is a disease. An affliction one catches. It causes pain and suffering. It can be cured. I don’t want you to cause me pain, and I’d die before I purposely caused you any. Love is like a hit of heroine; temporary.”

  She rose on her elbows and turned so she was facing me. “So, what you’re saying is you’ve done heroine?”

  There was amusement, but also doubt in her eyes. The doubt rubbed me the wrong way. Would we ever get past that phase in our relationship? Not if she kept fighting me.

  “You know what the fuck I mean,” I snapped and regretted it immediately.

  On her elbows she cocked her head. Her eyes as she searched my mine. She reached for me. Instinctually, I went to pull back. I was so used to her lashing out, I expected her to strike me. Instead she traced her thumb over my lips before leaning into me. The world stopped, and all my doubts and fears faded when she pressed her lips to mine and with her tongue, mimicked the action her fingers had done seconds earlier.

  Tugging my lips open with her teeth, she twirled her tongue, tasting my mouth. Our first kiss made me feel everything around me and damned her. From that moment forth only death could take her from me. I closed my eyes and reveled in the feel of her lips against mine.

  I let her control the pace until she tangled her hands into my hair, pulling me closer. I lost it. I took control. She melted into me. Her heartbeat hammered against my chest. Tasting her sweet mouth was too much, but not enough. I felt like I was burning from the inside out. When she pulled away, I fought the urge to protest.

  “I don’t think this will work, but I’ll try,” she whispered against my lips.

  That was enough for me. Resting my forehead against hers, I tried to think of the right thing to say to make her feel secure.

  “You’ll get use to this, being here with me, being a family,” I encouraged.

  She sighed then pulled away. “Sleep… We need sleep”.

  She avoided my eyes then flipped onto her back. She threw her arm over her eyes. I felt the melancholy emotions rolling off her and I hated it. I knew my impatience wasn’t rational. I was asking her for a lot but fuck rational. I wanted what I wanted.

  In silence I watched her fall asleep. I fought to keep my thoughts to myself, even though I had so much more I wanted to say, promises I wanted to make, promises I wanted her to make. I had to remind myself none of it was necessary in the grand scheme of things. None of it mattered because she was there next to me, and I didn’t plan on losing her.

  Hours later, while she was sleeping, I was still awake watching the rise and fall of her chest. I noticed her robe had inched up her hips exposing the tiniest pair of lace panties, I wanted to touch her, to run my hands up and down the stretch marks on her hips. Bury my face in her hair, inhale her, kiss her stomach, talk to my child, but I didn’t. All that would come with time. I laid stock-still while fighting sleep. I was terrified that I would close my eyes and when I opened them, she’d be gone.

  T W E N T Y - S I X

  Adam woke me with soft kisses to the back of my neck. The urge to pull away was overwhelming, but I’d promised I’d try, and I was going to. Even if it drove me crazy. I closed my eyes and let the thought of us, our child and the future sink into me. I didn’t exactly hate what I envisioned.

  “Good morning,” I said then used the excuse of morning sickness to pull myself from his embrace.

  “Good morning,” he replied, his tone indicated he wasn’t fooled.

  After getting out of bed, washing my face and brushing my teeth, I changed into a t-shirt and tights. He watched me the entire time…Which isn’t creepy at all, I thought sarcastically. I followed him down stairs where breakfast waited for us. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to having someone cook me three meals a day. We ate breakfast in silence, giving me too much time to think.

  “I’m curious about something,” I said.

  “What’s that?” he asked without looking up from his plate.

  He was still in a mood. I rolled my eyes. He was so hot and cold. Maybe I should just leave him alone, I thought, but genuine curiosity had me doing the opposite.

  “What do your parent’s think about this situation?” I asked.

  He tensed but unexpectantly answered right away.

  “My parents are of no consequence.” He dismissed me and returned to picking at his food.

  It wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “Are you always going to be like this?”

  “Like what?” he snapped.

  “Closed off, secretive. You’re so invasive when it comes to my life, but you want to keep everything about yourself a secret.”

  He finally looked up at me then grimaced at the anger he found on my face.

  “Fine, Eve. My father knows about you, and he doesn’t want us together. Do you want to know what he said, word for word?”

  “Yes, tell me.”

  A harsh, bitter laugh trickled from between his lips. His fork fell from his fingers then clattered against his plate. “And when I tell you, will you use it as an excuse to run away again?”

  “No. I’m just curious because these are people I’m assuming I’ll have to deal with and who’ll be around my child. I’d like to know what they think of me, what you’ve told them. I don’t understand where the sudden anger is coming from.”

  “It’s coming from you trying to push me away again.”

  “Paranoid much?”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “I asked you an important question that I feel I need to know the answer to. Or do you expect for me to wait for you to divulge everything, bit by bit, like you did about your divorce?”