by LK Chapman
But now, his palms began to sweat. He felt sick. Of course it mattered! Terrified, he closed down everything he had been working on and turned the computer off. He hadn’t even touched Toby’s grades, but he’d got into the exam board’s system and that had been enough to give him a cold shower. What the hell had he done? Mikayla’s inquest was coming up and now he’d done this! If he got found out, he’d be seen as a criminal right from the start. He stood no chance.
His whole body shaking now, he got to his feet. He had to tell someone about the hacking straight away. It was the only way. He’d say how sorry he was. He’d say he never hurt Mikayla.
As he lurched out of the room and down the stairs, sounds of the TV drifted from the living room. Good. His mum and stepdad wouldn’t notice him leaving.
Quietly pulling the front door closed behind him, he slipped out into the darkness, though the evening was still feverishly hot, like the nightmare day when Mikayla – no. Don’t even think about it. He walked fast. Then faster, faster, until he ran. He stumbled inside the police station with his heart practically pounding out of his chest. At the reception desk, he opened his mouth intending to confess to the hacking, to explain that all he’d tried to do was help Mikayla, to make somebody, anybody understand. Instead he just croaked, ‘Help me.’
Natalie
49
Bright sunlight streamed down through the trees, falling onto her bare arms, while the light fabric of her summer dress brushed delicately against her legs. Josh walked beside her, but he was facing away from her so she took his arm. ‘Josh?’
He turned and beamed at her, his eyes sparkling. ‘I wish I’d met you sooner,’ he said.
‘You met me at school,’ she teased him.
‘You know what I mean.’
‘Well, we’ve found each other now, haven’t we?’
He took hold of her hand. ‘Come on, let’s go home.’
Her heart skipped a beat as they turned to run back towards his flat, stumbling up the steps to his front door, and once inside he pushed the door shut and pressed her up against it, kissing her so hard it took her breath away. She reached up to slip the straps of her dress from her shoulders, longing for Josh to tear her dress from her body, but he didn’t. He stopped kissing her, his lips at her ear. ‘Why are you doing this to me, Nat?’
‘I’m not,’ she said, ‘it’s all pretend. Please don’t stop–’
He was gone. Her eyes snapped open to the darkness of Verity’s spare room. She closed them again and tried to get back to sleep, but Josh’s wounded voice from her dream haunted her. Why are you doing this to me?
Abruptly, she got out of bed, pulled a dressing-gown over her pyjamas and tiptoed down to the kitchen. She couldn’t let herself get dragged down by thoughts like that. She had to stay focused.
Just as she finished making herself a cup of tea, Verity appeared in the doorway. ‘Oh, hey Nat,’ she said, ‘couldn’t you sleep?’
‘I just had a weird dream,’ she said as she sat down at the kitchen table. Verity sat opposite her.
‘I know how hard you’re finding this, but you’re doing the right thing,’ Verity said. ‘I can see you still love Josh, but you can never trust him again after what he did.’
‘Yes, I know.’
‘Have you given notice to the couple renting your flat yet? You’ll be wanting to move back there soon.’
‘Uh … no. Sorry, V, but I promise I won’t be here much longer, I’ll figure something else out.’
‘It wasn’t a hint, I just thought it might help to start planning for what’s next. And the wedding venue? Have you called–’
‘No.’
‘I can phone them for you, you don’t have to do it yourself. Or at least, I can explain what happened. They might need to speak to you before they can actually cancel. But I can take some of the strain.’
Natalie took a big gulp of tea that burned her throat. ‘V … Rob said you’re not having the best time right now. That you’re not very happy–’
‘Oh,’ she said, ‘no, it’s nothing. He was exaggerating. Yes, I’m a bit stressed about the business but it’s nothing compared to what you’re going through.’
‘I shouldn’t be burdening you with all this.’
Verity reached across the table and squeezed her hand. ‘Nat, tell me you’re not just leaving this stuff like calling the venue because you’re considering giving Josh another chance? Rob and I–’
‘You seriously think I’d have a relationship with somebody who tried to bully me?’ Natalie said, desperate to shut the conversation down.
‘I don’t know. No. I’m just wondering what’s going on with you. It’s obvious you’re avoiding talking to us, and we’re really worried about you.’
‘I don’t need you to worry about me. I know what I’m doing.’ Natalie picked up her tea and made for the door, but Verity stood in her way.
‘Natalie, I’m not letting you off that easily. What’s going on? I know you’re hiding something.’
‘I don’t have to wear my heart on my sleeve, okay? I really appreciate how much you and Rob have helped me, but please don’t worry about me. I will get everything sorted out.’
Verity looked at her strangely, but she didn’t press her any further, and Natalie made her way slowly back up the stairs to her grey bedroom.
50
Natalie listened in horror as Gareth told her about the conversation he’d had with Josh the night before.
‘I did my best to talk him out of it,’ he said, ‘but his mind is made up. He’s going to turn himself in. I don’t think he’ll listen to anybody, except maybe for you.’
Her eyes prickled with tears. If she came face to face with Josh, she wouldn’t be able to lie to him. He’d find out about her plan with Toby, and he would try to stop her doing it. That couldn’t happen, not when it was the one thing that could clear his name forever. ‘What will happen to him if he confesses?’ she asked.
‘I have no idea. Hopefully they’ll realise he’s not in his right mind and nothing will happen. But do you really want him to take that risk?’
‘Gareth, I can’t–’
‘No, of course you can’t,’ he snapped. ‘You’ve given up on him like everybody else.’
‘It’s not like that!’ she said. She couldn’t help herself. ‘You know how much I cared about him.’
‘I know,’ he said, with a sigh. ‘I know. And in your position, I would probably act the same as you are now. But all I can see is how much pain he’s in.’
***
‘Why on earth do you want to help Josh?’ Toby asked her. In desperation, she’d turned to him when she’d arrived for work that morning.
‘I don’t want him to go to prison for something he didn’t do!’ she said. ‘If you know anything, please, please, just help him. Surely you don’t want him to end up going down for this? Even if you didn’t get on that well when you were younger, you’re still family.’
Toby sat down heavily at his desk. She knew it was a huge risk to ask him for help. For all she knew, he would be delighted with this news. But surely it wasn’t in his interest to have Josh go to the police and start talking about Mikayla again, especially now Josh knew Mikayla had broken up with Toby mere minutes before she died? If he could just talk Josh out of it … But if the police believe Josh’s confession, Toby will be in the clear. Maybe he’ll think it’s a good thing, and worth the risk of Josh telling them about the break-up. She swallowed hard. ‘Toby, he said he’s going to go to the police today. This morning.’
Toby frowned. ‘You mean you want me to drop everything and go round right this second?’
‘It’s up to you,’ she said. An idea struck her, and she touched his arm. ‘I just thought you might want to help him. Like you helped me, giving me a job here. You’ve been so kind. I know you care about people more than you admit.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry I’ve been giving you mixed messages. I was nervous about sleeping with someone else afte
r what happened between me and Josh. But I can see you’re a good man, and that I can trust you. I – I think I’m ready to take the next step with you, but I just need to know that Josh isn’t going to end up in prison. If anyone can talk him round, I’m sure you can.’
Sure enough, Toby’s expression brightened. Had he even puffed his chest out a little? The man really was like a strutting peacock. But if he went to see Josh perhaps he really would be able to talk some sense into him, or at least make him pause for a moment. And if Toby went out for a good length of time, she could even carry out a search of the office without fear of being discovered. It wasn’t likely she’d find anything – after all, was he really likely to keep anything incriminating at work? But it had to be worth a go.
Josh
51
The knock on the door startled him, and he got nervously to his feet. The sound came again as he made his way down the hall, more urgent this time.
‘Josh, it’s Toby. I know you’re in there!’
Josh froze. Toby. It just had to be Toby. He was about to leave for the police station, having spent the morning so far steeling himself for what was going to be an incredibly traumatic day. But I have to do it. I have to pay.
‘Josh! Open the door!’
He did as Toby asked, shrinking back as his stepbrother burst into the hallway. Toby’s round face was as pink as a ham, his eyes glittering darkly as he gave Josh an appraising look. ‘You look like shit,’ he said.
‘I feel like shit,’ Josh told him. Frankly, he’d say anything to get Toby to leave. He couldn’t deal with this right now.
‘Josh, I’m just going to say this once. Leave the past in the past. You’re driving everyone nuts. You’ve destroyed your relationship with Natalie already. Don’t start being ridiculous by going to the police. You know as well as I do that you’re barely capable of hurting a fly, let alone Mikayla. The only way you could ever attack someone is behind a keyboard, like you did to Natalie. Like a coward. You know, that woman is worth ten of you. Telling her she’s ugly, saying things about her scar. You’re a disgrace.’
‘I’m not listening to this,’ Josh said. ‘Just let me go, this is nothing to do with you.’
‘That’s where you’re wrong. Natalie still seems to care what happens to you – God only knows why – and she wanted me to come here and talk some sense into you.’
‘You’ve been talking to Natalie?’
‘Course I have. Oh, that’s right, you don’t know. She’s taken a job at the hotel. She’s our events manager. I think she wanted to throw herself back into working to take her mind off the fact she was in the middle of planning her wedding to a man who has done nothing but try to hurt her.’
Josh froze. She was working at the hotel? Even knowing how Toby had treated him in the past. He swallowed hard. ‘Is she okay?’
Toby gave him a withering look.
‘I’m worried about her.’
‘Look, we all just think you need help. You need to talk to somebody. Do you ever suppose that when everybody is telling you you’ve got a problem, they might actually be right?’
Josh was silent for a moment, taken aback by the idea.
Toby shook his head. ‘I don’t like seeing you like this. Believe it or not, I really was pleased for you and Natalie. I thought you deserved to be happy. But you need to accept that you completely blew it with her. Trying to get attention isn’t going to help, and this little stunt of yours, going to the police, isn’t going to get Natalie to come running back.’
‘That’s not why I’m doing it.’
‘Well, whatever your reasons are, you’re not thinking about what’s best for anyone other than you. You’re doing it to make yourself feel better.’
Natalie
52
Natalie paused for a moment, frustrated with herself. She’d quickly darted across to Toby’s desk once he had left to see Josh. He was still logged in at his computer, but there was nothing incriminating in his recent emails or browser history; no sign that he had been the one trolling her. Neither was there anything untoward in his well-organised desk drawers, and now she was stumped. Think! You might have to wait ages to get another good chance like this.
Her eyes fell to his coat hanging on a hook – in his haste he’d forgotten to take it with him. She peeked out into the hallway. There was no sign of anyone coming, but that could change at any moment. Quickly, she started searching through his pockets … only to jump out of her skin when the door opened.
Angelique was startled too, her eyes fixed on Natalie’s hand which she’d quickly snatched from Toby’s pocket.
‘What are you doing?’ Angelique said.
Flustered, Natalie babbled some nonsense about having lost her car keys and checking whether Toby had found them and picked them up.
‘He won’t like it if he realises you are going through his things,’ Angelique said. ‘He caught a girl stealing once and he hit the roof.’
‘I’m not stealing!’
‘I know that. But –’ Angelique gave her a concerned look. ‘I’ve seen how he looks at you. Be careful, Natalie.’
‘I – what did you need, Angelique? Can I help?’
‘No, I need to speak to Toby. But it’s not urgent.’
‘Okay.’
Angelique hovered in the doorway for a moment, looking pointedly at her.
‘… You don’t need to worry about me,’ Natalie said. ‘I’m not going to get involved with Toby. I really am just looking for my keys. Maybe you could keep an eye out? They’re on a key ring with a big pink pom-pom on it.’
‘Like that one,’ Angelique said, pointing to the key ring sat right in the middle of Natalie’s desk.
She left without saying anything further, and Natalie let out a noise of frustration and anger at herself. Angelique probably wouldn’t say anything to Toby about what she’d seen, but she couldn’t be certain of that. Still, she couldn’t give up now. She carried on searching, but there was nothing.
Eventually, admitting defeat, she sat down at her desk. She wasn’t going to find anything here. She either had to get Toby to trust her so much that he opened up to her about Mikayla, or she’d have to get into his house and search there. But would that really help?
The photos. The thought suddenly struck her. The photos he took down from the hall. Maybe it wasn’t just about wanting a change. Maybe there was something more to it.
And where would he have taken the photos? He probably wouldn’t have got rid of them – he was too proud of his pictures for that – and they couldn’t have contained anything seriously incriminating to have been displayed so long in public. But maybe there was something not immediately obvious, yet still a clue that could be pieced together if somebody knew what they were looking for. He’d have taken the photos back to his home, no doubt, and put them away in some box somewhere. His house. I have to go to his house.
***
‘He is just impossible!’ Toby announced as he burst back into the office.
Natalie turned, trying not to appear overly worried. ‘Did you manage to talk him out of it?’
‘Who knows? I told him he was being selfish, that he was going to the police to get attention. But maybe it would be good if he did go to them. Perhaps then he could get the help he so obviously needs.’
He strode over to stand behind her with a sigh, and his hands slithered over her shoulders, playing with the neckline of her shirt.
‘Thank you for trying, Toby,’ she said, trying not to stiffen as his fleshy fingers slipped inside her shirt, his hands soon finding her breasts which he squeezed as though he was testing the ripeness of a piece of fruit.
‘I don’t know what you saw in him,’ he said, as he bent down so that his head was beside hers. She turned towards him and their lips met, while he continued rummaging around in her bra. Just put up with it, she willed herself. I can bear this for a minute or two if it gets me closer to saving Josh.
‘Was everything okay while I w
as out?’ he asked, abruptly breaking off their kiss and taking his hands off her chest. Relief flooded through her – thank God he was distracted enough by work not to want to take things further.
‘Yes. Angelique wanted to speak to you, I don’t know what about.’
‘Course she did,’ Toby muttered, ‘I leave this hotel for five minutes and the whole bloody thing grinds to a halt.’
He was still complaining to himself under his breath as he left the office, and Natalie hurriedly readjusted her bra and did up the buttons on her shirt almost to her throat, the touch of his fingers on her skin still lingering. She had to press her hand across her mouth to stop a sob escaping. God knows if Toby’s words would prevent Josh turning himself in, and she’d had to endure his thick tongue in her mouth and his hands groping at her chest. A wave of nausea washed over her, so strong it almost had her running to the toilets down the hall, but she managed to calm herself. It really will be over soon. I will find what he’s hiding.
By the end of the day, Toby’s irritation with Josh had lifted and his mood had improved considerably. He managed to catch her coming down the corridor and cornered her. ‘Jodie and the kids are going to stay with her parents for the weekend,’ he said, his eyes sparkling with delight. He leant close to her and draped her neck with a few cloying kisses, while she looked nervously about in case they were spotted.
‘Oh, that’s nice for them,’ Natalie said, panic descending and making her prattle on as she tried to process what this meant. I have to go to his house to find those photos. But what sort of price will I have to pay? ‘My nieces absolutely adore going to see my mum and dad,’ she continued, ‘they get spoilt rotten.’
He laughed. ‘I think it’s us who are going to be spoilt,’ he said, ‘a whole night to ourselves.’ He stroked her cheek. ‘I can’t wait. You’ll forget all about Josh after a night with me, I can promise you that.’