“Thank you. It’s been a labor of love. I’ll grab you that drink. And thank goodness the weather cleared! My mom and dad are sitting down by the pool, if you’d care to join them.” He points to a patch of shade about ten yards away, where Edith and Harry wave. Her dad is acting kind of weird, too, but Dawn chalks it up to the pressure of hosting such a huge party. Even though she and Cody invited several friends from school, Roger informed them last night that close to one hundred people had RSVP’d. Dawn was stunned—she and Cody don’t have that many close friends between the two of them! Then he’d explained that he’d taken the liberty of inviting a few of his own friends as well as a couple of clients. He wanted to show off his kids, as he put it. Dawn can’t argue about whomever her dad wants to invite into his own home, but it still strikes her as odd that their graduation celebration has somehow morphed into a glad-handing party for him. Then again, it’s her dad. The more, the merrier has always been his mantra.
Guests cluster by the pool, although Dawn doesn’t recognize anyone except for Edith and Harry, and Georgie, of course, who seems to have already ingratiated himself with a new circle of friends. Off to the left sits an enormous white tent filled with little round tables, sending images of a future wedding reception tiptoeing through Dawn’s mind. She and Matt could have an amazing time dancing to a band beneath the stars here (though she concedes her mom might not approve). Next to the tent, a competitive game of cornhole is already underway between a few of Cody’s friends. When a waiter materializes at her side with a tray of barbecued wings, Dawn gratefully helps herself, heads down to the pool, and drops her bag on a lounge chair before going over to greet her grandparents.
“Hello, dear,” Edith says. “So nice to see you again. You must feel like you can finally relax.”
“Yes,” Dawn replies politely after hugging them both. She’s never been close to this set of grandparents, especially after the divorce, but she does feel a certain obligation to at least thank them for coming to the party, which she does now.
“Of course, honey. We’re very proud of you and your brother. You take after your grandfather, who always did well in school.”
Dawn smiles and accepts this for the crock of baloney that it is. Her dad has told her countless stories about Harry’s bad behavior in college, so much so that he almost got expelled. She thinks he confided in her right before she was about to face the Administrative Board herself, in a misery-loves-company kind of way, but she refrains from mentioning this now.
“That must be it,” she says instead. “Good genes. Well, I should say hi to some other people,” Dawn lies. “Thanks for coming. I really appreciate it.”
Edith waves a bejeweled hand in the air. “There’s a card for you and Cody from us around here somewhere. Ask your father where it is.”
“I will, Grandma. Thanks.” Dawn retreats to the deck, where off to the side the DJ is setting up his turntable on the patio, still wet from the downpour earlier. That her dad and Lily have hired a DJ, rented a tent, and put on such an extravagant spread both pleases and embarrasses her. Her friends will assume she’s spoiled beyond belief, but, in a way, she doesn’t care what they think. In a few short months, she’ll be headed to Chicago with Matt, and this part of her life will become a distant memory.
As more guests start to filter in, Cody comes up beside her and hands her a Diet Coke. “I thought you might need this almost as badly as I do,” he says. “What’s up with Lily? Is she high or something?”
Dawn snorts. She assumes he’s kidding, but what if he’s right? Something is definitely off with their stepmom. She shrugs. “How should I know? You tell me.”
He gives her a lopsided grin. “Touché.”
“What about Melissa? Are you guys seriously broken up? She’s not coming to the party?”
“Not as far as I know. I tried to talk to her last night, but she didn’t seem all that interested in talking to me.”
“Wow.” This information still amazes Dawn. Somehow she’d assumed Cody and Melissa would be together forever. “I thought you guys were, like, made for each other.”
Cody shrugs. “Jury’s still out, I guess.”
Someone calls out her name and she spins around to see who it is. “Is that Dad?”
“Cody, Dawn! Come over here. I want to introduce you to someone.” Their dad ushers them into his circle a few steps from the grill. “Jerry here played football back in the day for Stanford and then for the Forty-Niners in the early 1990s.” Jerry Tomas is a massive man who towers over even her father. He turns his broad shoulders toward her and shakes her hand so hard that Dawn has to rub it after he releases it. His chin hides a deep dimple, and he has light blue eyes that startle against his tanned skin. Dawn seems to recall hearing something scandalous about a Jerry Tomas a few years ago, though she can’t recall exactly what. Something involving a young woman, maybe? In any case, it appears that her dad has represented him at some point in his career. She’s a little confused as to why he’s here.
“Is that right?” says Cody.
“I hear you’re a superstar player, Cody. Ever consider going pro?”
Cody laughs. “Sure, it’s more a question of whether the pros would ever consider me. Which they haven’t. And for good reason. I’m a shrimp.”
It’s true that her brother is tiny by NFL standards. Only five feet ten inches but he’s as fast as a bullet on the field, which should count for something, it seems. Scout after scout has counseled Cody that the big leagues won’t take him seriously, despite his stunning statistics in total yardage and catches. He’d get pummeled.
“That’s a shame. Well, you never know. Someone might still come knocking on your door. What are you up to next year?”
Dawn finds herself growing bored by this particular conversation and scours the patio to see if any of her friends have arrived yet.
“I’m teaching high school students. On a reservation in North Dakota starting in September.”
Tomas tilts back on his heels, as if to take better measure of her brother. “You don’t say? Well, good thing your dad here makes a mint representing folks like me.” He slaps Roger on the back and lets loose a good-natured laugh. “Everyone knows there’s no money in teaching, but it’s a noble profession, for sure. Good luck, son.” He shakes Cody’s hand once more and nods to Dawn. “And lovely meeting you. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to help myself to some of that delicious barbecue your dad has been cooking up.” And as he walks away to help himself to a plate, Dawn remembers: Jerry Tomas was accused of doing something sleazy, like assaulting a woman in a hotel room at an away game. It had been splashed across the front pages of every major newspaper, and if she recalls correctly, he’d gotten off on a technicality.
“Really, Dad? You represent Jerry Tomas? Isn’t he the guy who—”
But he cuts her off before she can say more, holding up a hand. “Yeah, yeah. But that was a long time ago. I just represent him in some financial dealings.” He gives her a wink. “Besides, he was acquitted, remember?”
Dawn rolls her eyes and marches off in search of another soda. Her throat feels parched, and the thought of being near her father or any of his clients is too much to stomach right now. The whole thing is beyond disgusting, especially when they’re supposed to be celebrating their graduation. Doesn’t anyone in her family have moral standards anymore? Or has morality, like stirrup pants and fidget spinners, gone out of fashion, and someone simply forgot to tell her? Just then, she spies Shauna and some other friends sneaking in through the side gate. Thank goodness. Dawn trots over to say hello before grabbing Shauna by the hand and dragging her classmates down to the beach. Because, as her brother likes to say, I am so done with this scene.
* * *
Even Meredith is surprised when she steps onto the deck and sees the white tent, the waiters flitting about like butterflies, and a DJ setting up. Terra-cotta pots filled wi
th red geraniums edge the deck and patio down below. As if at a hotel, lounge chairs topped with pristine white cushions frame an aquamarine pool. She instantly dislikes Lily even more for upstaging her not only in the looks and youth department but also in her ability to throw a marvelous party—for Meredith’s own kids. She should have expected as much when the formal invitation arrived in the mail (shimmery gold with elaborate script) or when she spotted Lily’s earlier post on Instagram. But even Joel admits, as they avail themselves to the lemonade, that nothing could have prepared them for this. Roger and Lily’s house resembles Camelot. All that is missing, perhaps, are regal white swans floating on the pool.
For a second, Meredith experiences a pinch of envy. If she and Roger had stayed together, this might have all been hers and the kids’. But then she stops herself. It’s silly to second-guess her life, especially when she and Joel have everything they could possibly need. As nice as it might be to live in such a mansion, it would probably grow old after a while, and all at once, the movie The War of the Roses, starring Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas, flashes before her. Yes, if she’d settled here, that’s how her life would have undoubtedly turned out, she and Roger swinging from the chandelier, trying to kill each other.
Roger’s enormous Saint Bernard, whom she hasn’t seen in ages, trots over to say hello. “Hey, Moses, buddy. You’ve gotten so big!” She bends down to run her hand through his thick fur and is reminded how much she misses having a dog around the house. Back when the kids were young (and Meredith was still feeling guilty about the divorce), she’d relented after they’d begged for a dog for months. One of her colleagues had advertised a new litter of Goldendoodles for sale, and when they’d driven out to the house “just to see,” Slippers had bounded over to them as if he’d been waiting for them his entire puppy life. With white fluff on each paw and a small patch of white on his forehead, Slippers was his name before Meredith had even agreed to take him home. Then, during the kids’ junior year in high school, he’d passed away, and she couldn’t bring herself to replace him. But maybe now enough time has gone by.
“He likes you. He’s trying to give you kisses,” says Lily, who has come over to join her.
“Is that what it is?” She laughs as Moses’s wet tongue slobbers her. “I don’t think I’ve seen him since he was a puppy. He’s huge! How much does he weigh now?”
“Oh, about a hundred and fifty pounds, give or take a few.”
“Wow—that’s a lot of dog to love—and feed.”
“Yes, it is.” Lily is holding a cocktail in one hand and a canapé in the other.
“Lily.” Meredith straightens. She’s about to apologize for her obnoxious behavior at dinner last night, but Lily beats her to the punch.
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever said this to you directly, but you and Roger have done a great job with the kids. Cody and Dawn are really special. You should be proud.”
Meredith feels surprise blooming on her face. “Thank you. That’s very kind of you to say. They can be a little tough, sometimes, but they’re good kids.” She might as well be apologizing for her entire family, for her own regrettable behavior last night, but then she stops short. Why not let bygones be bygones? If Lily is willing to make nice, why shouldn’t she? “And what an incredible party this is! Thank you so much for hosting.”
Lily cocks her head and smiles, as if Meredith has said something amusing. “You’re welcome. It’s the least Roger and I could do. If you’ll excuse me for a minute, I should really check on Edith and Harry.”
“Sure.” Meredith watches her head down the stairs toward Roger’s parents, grateful that tending to her former in-laws no longer falls under her own umbrella of duties. She searches for Joel, who appears to have joined the group that includes Georgie. A handful of guys is laughing, back slapping, telling stories. He’ll be fine, thinks Meredith. And her mother, after receiving her requested gin and tonic, has blessedly gone to sit with Harry and Edith. As more people begin to arrive, Meredith wonders exactly how many guests have been invited. A few of the kids, including Cody, have already changed into their bathing suits and launch cannonballs off the side of the pool. Meredith grabs a glass of wine from a passing tray and wanders toward the water.
Though she wouldn’t be caught dead in a bathing suit next to Lily, she’s already wishing she could take a quick dip. She tugs off her light linen jacket, unstraps her sandals, and goes to sit down at the pool’s edge, where she can at the very least swish her bare feet through the water. From this vantage point she spies Roger, deep in conversation with two men in polo shirts who look like business acquaintances. And then there’s a woman in a crisp apron, buzzing around the lawn and swapping out old drinks for fresh ones. Maybe the designated party coordinator? Surely, even the amazing Lily hasn’t pulled off this extravaganza all by herself. A slight sea breeze drifts off the water, and a Hootie and the Blowfish tune floats across the yard. This is almost pleasant, Meredith thinks.
“You know,” Lily says, taking her by surprise again. “I’d love to talk to you about nursing sometime.” She slips off her Jimmy Choo sandals and dangles her own feet in the pool, as if Meredith has just invited her to sit down. Which is confusing—wouldn’t Lily prefer to keep her distance, especially after last night? “It must be so rewarding to care for newborns, especially in the NICU, where you can really make a difference.”
Meredith’s first thought is, Oh, honey, if only you knew. But then she realizes that Lily’s earlier Pollyannaish cheer has been replaced by something that sounds remotely like genuine interest. Perhaps Lily wants to be Meredith’s friend? The thought amuses her because, of course, this was Meredith’s original plan at dinner last night, to kill Lily with kindness. But Lily won that round fair and square when she and Roger announced the Bora-Bora trip. Maybe that’s what Lily is up to—trying to make nice since she knows Meredith is still simmering about the trip.
“I’ve been thinking about going into nursing myself.”
Oh, really. Meredith can’t imagine anyone less suited to nursing than Roger’s new wife. Well, to be fair, she doesn’t know Lily very well, but she can’t imagine how she’ll maintain her Instagram following dressed only in scrubs. Maybe she can alternate the colors, Meredith thinks uncharitably.
“How interesting,” she says now, striving for equanimity. “What makes you think you’d like nursing?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve always loved babies.”
Meredith nods and smiles tightly as she used to do when her single girlfriends would tell her how much they wanted a baby. Easy for you to say, she’d reason. You have no idea of the amount of work involved!
Lily loosens her hair from its ponytail, releasing gorgeous long locks that she combs her fingers through before pulling it back up. Her apron has disappeared, and the sundress she’s chosen for today is much more subdued than yesterday’s outfit. It’s a pretty green sundress that manages to play up her eyes instead of her breasts. “Did you happen to see that video about the baby and his mom’s beating heart? Oh, I’m sure you did. What am I asking! You’re a nurse.”
But Meredith shakes her head. “No, what’s that?”
“It’s all over the internet.” Lily pauses when one of Cody’s friends creates a tremendous splash with a dive. “Anyway, it’s incredible. This little baby lost his mom, I’m not sure how—maybe during childbirth?—and you see him crying and crying while all these people hold him and try to comfort him. I even think his dad holds him. Nothing works. And then the most amazing thing happens.”
Meredith waits for it. She’s not expecting Lily to say anything that will impress her—if Lily’s idea of nursing is watching baby videos on YouTube, then she’s in for a brutal awakening—and yet Lily surprises her. “So the man who was given the mom’s heart when she died? He holds the baby and as soon as he does, the baby startles, like he recognizes the heartbeat coming through that man’s chest.
And then he instantly calms down and even starts to smile. It’s like he’s saying, ‘Oh, hi, Mama. I’ve been looking for you.’”
Meredith glances down at her arms that have sprouted goose pimples. The story is remarkable on so many levels. A baby recognizing his mother solely by the rhythm of her heartbeat. Intuitively, it makes sense to her. If the child has never seen his mother before, how would he know that a man wasn’t his mom? Babies don’t know gender affiliation, but they’ve been listening to their mother’s heartbeat for ten months in utero.
Still, there’s something else that strikes her. It’s almost as if she’s glimpsing Lily through fresh eyes, the way she might look past someone with frizzy curls and then see them the next day with straightened hair. Suddenly, their beauty comes into sharp focus. Not that Lily’s beauty has ever been in question but the core of her certainly has, at least for Meredith.
I’ll be damned, Meredith thinks. The girl actually has a heart. “That’s a remarkable story.” She squeezes Lily’s forearm in some kind of unspoken solidarity before standing up to go in search of more wine. She needs to leave before she finds herself actually liking the girl. And before she feels any worse about the way she poked fun at Lily’s job last night. “Thanks for sharing it with me.”
* * *
Joel runs through the litany of addictions he learned about in graduate school. There are all types—the obvious, like drugs and booze and sex and food—but also the less apparent, like love or work or hoarding. He knows that addiction is not a behavior that people can control, but a chronic brain disorder, where certain areas malfunction. Sure, maybe someone could have said no to that first offer of vodka or heroin or painkillers, but after that, it’s anyone’s guess who will be able to exhibit self-control when it gets offered again. In Joel’s humble opinion, everyone shares a predilection for addiction. Some more than others, but still. Whether they actually act on it is another matter.
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