She could hear cars driving past. He was probably walking from work. She blanked for a moment, searched her brain for a conversation they must have had, and came up with nothing.
“Yeah, sure,” she said, trying to sound bright and cheerful, and not the least bit confused or guilty. Her pause must have given her away, however.
“You forgot, didn’t you?” he moaned.
She swallowed. “S-sorry?”
“Your mind is somewhere else,” he said. “Perhaps with a certain redheaded schoolteacher?”
“Shut up,” she replied, shifting her phone to her other ear and going to the door to lock and flip the sign. “D’you want my help or not?”
“Yes, please,” he replied, his voice sickly sweet.
“What time?” She peered out into the street. Is it going to rain?
“Six-ish? After you’ve finished at the leisure centre? I know it’ll be dark, but I’m working until five and then I have a meeting…”
“That’s fine, mate.” It doesn’t look like it will rain.
“Just so you know,” he added, “we did talk about it, and you definitely agreed to help.”
“I’m sorry, Matthew,” Ollie replied on a sigh. She shuffled back behind the counter, opening the till and sorting through the card receipts. A sigh escaped her at the dwindled amount. “Have you much to move?”
“I’ve got a van for the evening. Shouldn’t be too much.”
“Good.” Ollie looked down at her leg and scowled, then tucked it under the chair. “See you later, then.”
“Brill. Thanks, Ollie.”
Kieran phoned her while she walked to Matthew’s flat. “Hey, buddy.” She pressed the mobile to her ear as she limped through the late finishers who mingled along the streets.
“Hey, Mum. Sorry about Helen.”
“That’s okay. Not your fault.”
“I just…I don’t know. Maybe she needs time.”
“I’m not giving up,” Ollie insisted. “She can be as harsh as she likes, but I refuse to be one of those mums that never sees her kids.”
“Okay.” There was a smile in Kieran’s voice.
“Anyway,” Ollie said, trying to come across as breezy. “How are things with you?”
“Good. Work’s okay. Went on a date with this woman from Accounts. She’s pretty cool.”
“That’s great, glad to hear it.” Ollie crossed the road at the traffic lights, the beeping of the green man making it difficult to talk for a few seconds. “What’s she like?”
“Really clever. She dances. Jive and stuff. Pretty cool.”
“You going to go with her? Take her dancing?”
“Oh no. Two left feet, me.”
“You get that from me,” Ollie replied, chuckling. “You dad still remains a whiz on the dance floor.”
“That’s coz your knee’s duff, not because you’re clumsy.”
“Bit of both.”
“Anyway, your love life?” He sounded very tentative, as though he was expecting to have his head bitten off.
“Well it’s sort of… It’s quiet at the moment. I’m biding my time.”
“So there is a…a woman?”
“Yes. Sort of.” Ollie gestured into the evening air. “We’ve not—she’s not… Anyway, I like her.”
“What’s her name?”
“Anna. I’m not sure if she’s… But she’s nice to me.”
“So she might be…straight?”
“I’m assuming so. She hasn’t told me any different, but you know how these things are.”
“Ah. She just might not be interested in you.”
“Nail on the head.”
“So, just friends?”
“For the moment. If she makes a move or whatever I won’t say no.” Ollie sighed. “She comes to my crochet group.”
“So you just see here there?”
“We’ve been out for a few drinks. She’s very lovely. Pretty, clever, funny. She has great taste in wine.”
“Mum,” Kieran said, sighing until his breath made a fuzzy noise. “Be careful.”
“I will be.”
“Because you’ve been… I know Zoe hurt you.”
Ollie stared at the pavement as she limped along it. “It won’t be like that.”
“But…what if this Anna is just like Zoe? You know, throwing you out once things get complicated?”
“Things are different now.”
“How? You’re still disabled.”
She grimaced.
“You’re still the same person you were. You sound head over heels with this woman even though she’s, so far, given you nothing in return. A few drinks? With no—I’m assuming you haven’t even spoken about a relationship or… Look, why don’t you just go find someone else?”
“I like her, Kieran.”
“You liked Zoe. And look what happened there. The first sign of trouble and she chucks you out. Bathwater situation. The letter and…and everything. Please be sure of what you’re doing before you go heart and soul into something that might end badly.”
Ollie stopped in front of Matthew’s flat and folded her free arm over her chest. “Look, just let me do what I want to do. I’m being careful. I’m being sensible. But Anna’s different. She’s…she’s very special. She makes me laugh and truly wants to spend time with me. We have some things in common too—she’s a teacher as well.”
“So was Zoe.”
Ollie gripped her phone hard. “Oh, will you please leave it, Kieran? Not all women are the same. Not all teachers are the same. You’re right. Zoe was a disaster, even without the explosion. She was a big, humiliating mistake which I have now learned from. So, please, just trust me to choose my own path in this pretty crappy life I lead, okay?” Her jaw hurt from gritting her teeth. Her shoulders ached from being hunched against the cold and the stress of the conversation.
Kieran sighed but otherwise was silent for a while.
Ollie scuffed her boot on the concrete, waited for some kind of response.
“I…I just worry. I’m sorry if it comes out like…like I’m interfering. But I worry, Mum.”
Matthew’s door opened and he leant out, waving at her.
“I know you do. I have to go. Please, next time you see Helen, just put in a good word. I’ll give her space for now, but I refuse to give up. She’s my daughter.”
“Okay. Love you, Mum.”
“Love you too, buddy.”
Anna arrived intentionally early on Thursday, hoping to catch Ollie before the class. She knocked on the side door, her knuckles stinging.
The window opened above her head. Ollie appeared at it and smiled and waved before pulling back in without a word.
Anna waited a good minute or so before the door opened.
Ollie ushered her inside. “Cuppa?”
“Lovely. Thank you.” She followed her up, noting the stiff and stilted way Ollie climbed the stairs.
When they entered the flat, Ollie’s limp was more pronounced and she moved over to her kettle to flick it on. “Feel free to make yourself at home.” When she turned around, though, she sucked in a hiss.
Anna was immediately beside her. “I thought you were supposed to be taking painkillers?” she said sternly.
“It’s not my knee.” Ollie grimaced, a hand at her own back, her head lowered.
“What have you done?” Anna reached for Ollie’s shoulder.
Ollie leant into her hand and groaned. “I helped Matthew move into a new flat.”
The muscle under Anna’s hand felt hard as a pebble. “Achy back?”
Ollie nodded.
Letting out a small noise, Anna pointed towards the dining table, a silent order. “Let me make the tea. You sit down.”
“I can’t let you do—”
“Yes, you can. Sit down. Or I’ll give you detention.”
One of Ollie’s eyebrows rose.
Anna just jerked her head towards the dining table. Ollie obeyed and moved over to one of the chairs. She sat slowly, her back ramrod straight and her hands on her hips. She leant carefully against the back of the chair and closed her eyes. Safely out of Ollie’s line of vision, Anna pressed a hand to her sternum. She really didn’t like to see Ollie in pain.
The teabags were thankfully easy to find, and the fridge was an obvious white appliance containing milk. Once she had brought the teas over, Anna pulled a chair up to sit beside her.
Ollie’s nose wrinkled, then she looked down at the wooden tabletop. “Hefted his chest of drawers up three flights.”
“You’re a nightmare, you know.” Anna scraped the wooden chair against the floor as she turned it towards Ollie. After a sip of her tea, she placed the mug onto the table. “Would you like me to have a look?”
Ollie’s eyes went wide. “Um.”
“It’s alright. Biology A-Level, you know. I was a bit obsessed with the muscular-skeletal system, as well as the great Bard.”
“I can’t ask you to…”
“Perhaps,” Anna said, smoothing her palm against Ollie’s shoulder again, “you could stop being a pain in the bum and actually let someone help you for once.” She caught Ollie’s gaze.
A long beat passed. “That would be…that would be great, actually.”
“All right, then.” Anna stepped around Ollie to stand behind her.
Ollie shifted forward, her forearms against the tabletop. Her shoulders were still, as though she was holding her breath.
“You tell me if it’s too much, okay?”
She started with a light touch, skimming across Ollie’s back and then digging in a little. Her hands trembled as she brushed the ends of Ollie’s hair where they rested just shy of her shoulders. The scent of lavender drifted upwards, and Anna closed her eyes for a moment. After a few gentle manipulations, the muscles under her hands became less like rocks.
A breath puffed from between Ollie’s lips. Her head sagged forward to rest against her arms. Anna took that as her cue to move her fingers down Ollie’s spine, stopping every now and then to concentrate gently on specific muscles to test the waters. When she reached the middle of her back, Ollie inhaled, and a short, sharp groan caught in her throat.
“Just there?” Anna asked.
The noise Ollie made sounded like a yes.
“I’ll be careful, but try to relax.” Her fingertips pressed, gently at first, then with more force as she felt Ollie’s knots releasing and her shoulders slumping. Her whole body seemed to soften.
Anna’s stomach stopped aching as Ollie sank with obvious relief against the table. She swept her palms up and down Ollie’s back and then snuck them over her shoulders, fingertips brushing against her neck. She stroked the blond ends of Ollie’s hair. They were like little curls of dried grass on a beach.
A shiver overtook Ollie, and she slowly lifted her head, a languid sigh on her lips. She blinked a few times as though she had just woken from a dream.
“You’re welcome,” Anna said.
Ollie smiled. “Where were you yesterday when I couldn’t get into bed?”
“Oh dear. What a prat you are. With your injuries, you should not be helping to carry furniture up staircases.”
“Helping?” She snorted. “I carried the bloody thing by myself.”
“You’re insane.” She didn’t feel annoyed, however, just warm. Her fingertips tingled from where she’d lingered on Ollie’s shoulders.
“I know.” Ollie cupped her mug with one hand, threading her fingers through the handle.
Anna looked at her watch. “Ten minutes to.”
“Plenty of time to drink these.” She paused. “But I definitely owe you a proper drink.”
“Have to be another night. Timothy wants me to watch a documentary with him when I get home.”
They gulped their tea. The comfortable silence between them was a blanket made with soft yarn where Anna could relax back and nearly fall asleep. The pad on Ollie’s thumb rubbed against her forefinger. Anna noted how her foot was hopping about a bit under the table. She seems nervous.
The friendly banter had petered out, but Anna found she didn’t mind. Their gazes locked on occasion over the slowly steaming mugs. Smiles were exchanged. Without a word between them, they eventually headed downstairs to the classroom.
Sarah and Christian were back, wearing matching wrist warmers and gazing into one another’s eyes.
I can see why Ollie would be jealous of what they have. They seem very much in love.
Amy inched closer to her as Anna worked on arranging her pencil pots in size order on the table and sewed in the ends the way Ollie had shown her. “They for your classroom, Miss?”
Anna chuckled. “Actually, they’re for Timothy. He broke the one he has at home, so I thought it would be nice to make him some new ones.”
“Aw, bet he was really pissed… I mean really upset.” Amy giggled. “They’re well cool. I’ve got some stupid plastic ones at home, but the ones you’ve done are wicked.”
“Thank you.” Anna arranged them on the table and sat back, satisfied. “So, how’re things?”
“Mum’s not great.” The space between Amy’s eyebrows wrinkled for a split second before she seemed to catch herself.
“That’s a shame. How are you doing?”
Amy yawned. “Okay.”
Anna gave her a moment. “Anything you need, you know where my office is, don’t you?”
“Yes, Miss.” Amy rolled her eyes. “Can’t I just call you ‘Miss’? It feels weird calling you by your first name.”
“If that’s what you’re comfortable with, of course you can.”
“Okay.” Amy yawned again and rubbed her eyes. “Sorry.”
“That’s okay. Why are you so tired?”
“Up with Mum most of the night.” She shrugged. “It’s fine.”
“If you’re struggling, you need to go to Pastoral Services. They’ll show you who to phone.”
Amy didn’t look convinced.
“Tell me you will.” She put on her best stern-but-affectionate face.
“Okay. Yes, Miss.” Amy’s smile broadened back to full beam again.
“Good girl. Always ask for help if you need it. Best to do it now than to get so tired that your marks suffer.”
“Yes, Miss.” Amy wrapped her arms around herself and let out a deep sigh. “Thanks, Miss.”
“You’re welcome. How’re you doing planning your future?”
“Okay. Not sure I want to do uni and leave Mum. Dad won’t help—they’re divorced. He’s sort of…wiped his hands of her.”
“What’s the matter with her?”
“She has MS. Has trouble walking around and carrying stuff. Can’t make a cup of tea unless she drinks it actually at the kettle.”
“That must be hard for her. But for you, too, watching her get worse.”
Amy nodded.
“Go get some help. If you want me to come with you, you only have to ask.”
“Yes, Miss.” Amy seemed a bit brighter. She shuffled away.
I really should keep checking in with her. Young carers get such a crappy deal. It’s great she can come to this group, though. She seems to love it.
Once everyone was settled, Ollie took her usual place. “Welcome. I have a pattern for a bobble hat.” She looked around at the group and laughed at something behind Anna.
Anna looked over her shoulder and found Sarah and Christian had both thrust their hands up into the air. She turned back to roll her eyes at Ollie.
“Right, then.” Ollie directed her words at the couple. “Please don’t make matching ones, guys. It’s really disgusting.”
“I’m kidding, of course,” Ollie said. “You do what makes you happy.”
A few members of the group, including Anna, held their hands out for a pattern.
“What a surprise,” Ollie said as she handed one over to Anna.
“I thought I’d make a hat to go with my daughter’s scarf,” Anna explained. “The one she stole from me.”
“Well, Merry Christmas, Bethany,” Ollie said and followed Anna to the far wall where the balls of chunky wool sat.
Anna perused the pattern while Ollie moved away from her. Gone are the days when she would help me at every moment. But she concentrated on the pattern, reading it thoroughly, trying not to show how disappointed she was.
But Ollie was soon back at her side. Anna was still looking at the pattern.
“All right?”
“I don’t know what this…this…” Anna peered at the paper. “Front post…something…is.”
“I’ll show you. Why don’t you choose some yarn?”
At Ollie’s confident smile, Anna relaxed a little and stepped up to the cubbyholes. She reached for a single deep-red ball and carried it back into the classroom with her chin high. Sitting at her table and with no one in the seat next to her, she continued to peruse the pattern.
Ollie was again accosted by various people all wanting help, and it was a good twenty minutes before she was able to sit beside Anna. She had grabbed a hook from the little pot on the sideboard, as well as a half-used ball of wool. Pretending to crack her knuckles, which made Anna laugh, she shot Anna a grin.
“Hi.” Anna held up her hook, the ribbed band around the bottom of the hat already a few centimetres wide.
“Oh, well done.” Ollie touched the neat rows of slip stitches.
“Figured there was just one thing ‘in back loops only’ could mean.” At Ollie’s impressed look, Anna looked down. Am I blushing again? “But show me these new back…post thingies.”
Ollie shifted close to her and did a quick row of chain stitches with the yarn she had brought to the table. Then she worked a speedy row of treble stitches. “Right. You want to do your first row of trebles, then join them with a slip stitch, okay?”
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