“Yeah, well, thanks. That’s all helpful and we’ll take everything into consideration. Still, it’s my ass on the line every time you pull a stunt like this, and I’m not going to stand for it. Believe me, no one in the department is going to stand for it either, so stop it.”
The cease-fire was over.
“Don’t worry. That’s all I got.”
“Just like that?”
“I swear,” Joanna said. “I wanted to make sure you got the slasher connection, and I had a hunch about something missing from her statement. Did you find the place where she ran from yet?”
“Wait a minute. You didn’t even see her statement,” Theo said incredulously. “Or…did you? Did Vanessa…?”
“No, she’s innocent in all of this. Speaking of which…you guys better be careful. You are not good for each other’s careers.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You know exactly what it means. Don’t mess with her.”
Theo sighed. “I didn’t plan to. As long as we both do our jobs, there’s no conflict of interest here, or whatever it is you’re alleging. Can I at least count on you to keep your mouth shut?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Gossip was never my strong suit, even when I still had a job at the department.”
“Was it worth all of that? Losing everything?” His anger had vanished. Joanna told herself it would be wise to leave it at that.
“I never looked at it that way. I didn’t feel like I had a choice.”
“You should have gone with temporary insanity. A few therapy sessions instead of jail time.”
“And then what? No, it was better that way. I paid my dues to society, or whatever. Can I go now? I have to go to work.”
“You could do other work than that.” Apparently Theo knew what she was doing. Joanna wondered if she had been a subject of conversations between him and Vanessa.
“It was tough enough to find that job. Look, I’m sorry for messing with your case, but I thought—no, I know—these are important elements. I don’t want a pat on the shoulder. I just want someone to catch this asshole, doesn’t matter if it’s not me.”
“All right. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. See you around.”
* * * *
Another shift passed by with her concentration waning. This time, it was Joanna who had left out one detail, and it kept bothering her. Was Grace’s outrageous suggestion a coincidence?
It couldn’t be anything other than that, Joanna told herself. Otherwise she had slept with, if not a murderer, then an accomplice to murder.
If she had told Theo to look into it, she would have to admit to the possibility. Joanna wasn’t sure she could live with it, as the mere thought made her sick to her stomach. So much for responsibility, doing the right thing. Grace hadn’t mentioned kinky sex parties, just a boyfriend. Joanna knew that these offers sometimes floated around in the scene, from straight women who were looking to experiment with their boyfriend’s blessing. That didn’t mean either of them was a killer. It didn’t mean they weren’t.
The slasher’s type was younger than her, and a lot more put-together, someone like Christina.
She had been an investigator on his case though. He was bound to remember her.
If…
She couldn’t take the risk.
Grace’s last message said. I’m sorry for bothering you. I don’t know what I was thinking. You’ll never hear from me again.
She called Theo and laid out her dilemma.
“I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.”
Joanna could sympathize. For the past few years, she had trouble understanding herself.
“I’ll keep a low profile as promised. I just wasn’t sure…It could be nothing.”
“You were right to tell me,” he said.
“Keep me up to date if anything comes up?”
Something must have tipped him off, told him that she was more shaken by the possibilities than she wanted to let on. The hands that had touched her might have killed. At the very least, they might have touched a killer, tainted her by proxy. After trying for years to escape the bone-chilling darkness men like the slasher and Decker had cast on her life, this was not welcome.
Nowhere was safe.
“You’re going to be okay,” he said.
Joanna laughed wryly. “The jury is still out on that, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.”
* * * *
The next day, she ran into Nate who had come in to talk to the boss before he left on his vacation. She had made a promise to Theo…Then again, this was an opportunity impossible to miss. Just to check this one more item off the list.
“Nate, hi. Can I talk to you for a second?”
Joanna couldn’t blame him for the suspicion in his gaze. She probably knew better than anyone else what he’d been through in the past days, the scrutiny and the suspicion. The only difference was that she was guilty, not just an innocent bystander.
“Yeah, so?” He knew who she was though they had never exchanged more than a few words.
“I work in the warehouse.”
“I know. What do you want?”
“About Christina Danvers…”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, okay? It was horrible. I’m glad she made it. Reporters have been camping out in our street and harassing my wife and kids. We’re really due for a break.”
“I understand that. I’d just like to know…” The problem was, Joanna wasn’t even sure what she wanted to know from Nate. God, she’d become rusty. “When you found her, she was barefoot, dressed in only a sweater?”
“”It’s all in the newspaper.”
“Nate, come on. I’m not sure if you know, but I used to be a cop. I need to…This sounds exactly like a case I worked on, and I need to find out if the two are connected. My old partner is aware that I’m asking a few questions.” Sort of. “You drive that route often? Have you ever observed anything strange up there?”
“Good Lord, you’re as bad as the rest of them. What the hell do you think I do when I’m on the job? I drive. I stop as often as I have to, not more. I did what I could to help her. That’s all I can tell you. Can I get back to work now?”
Joanna wasn’t done.
“How long do you think she could have made it, with barely any clothes on her? I saw her in the hospital. She can’t have walked that long. The place where they took her, it had to have been somewhere close by.”
“That’s for the real police to find out, don’t you think?”
She ignored the sting.
“Nate. You did a great job. She’s alive because of you.”
Nate turned away, but not before she’d seen the pain in his expression.
“I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m not sure a vacation is going to change that, and I hate letting down my family, because they wished for this for so long. They deserve to have that time, but I…I keep seeing her face everywhere,” he choked out.
“I know how you feel, I really do,” Joanna said softly. “Most of the ones I saw, didn’t make it, though. Every little detail can help. If you remember anything…”
“I’ll call the cops first. Thanks for reminding me.”
“Okay. You try to relax a bit on that vacation. I know it’s hard, but…you earned it too.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I told this to the police already, but there’s not much on this stretch of road. A handful of residential buildings—it happened right after a diner I had stopped once before. I’m sure they asked everyone already.”
“Yeah, they would do that. Thank you, Nate. I have to go back to work too.”
Joanna did, but her mind was on Christina Danvers running away from the killers, barefoot and wounded, in a snow storm. She was extremely lucky to have run into Nate. The place where she’d been held couldn’t have been far, yet it seemed like the police hadn’t found it yet.
Unless…they hadn’t released that information for a reaso
n.
* * * *
After her shift, she drove out of the city and toward the area where Nate had found Danvers. Like he’d described, houses were sparse alongside the road. Joanna saw a gas station and a few miles further, a sign for a rest stop. It wouldn’t be uncommon for the slasher to hide out in the woods, but he would need supplies.
Most of the houses here belonged to families who had lived in the area for a long time, some had vacation rentals. They would be aware of anyone out of place…but maybe he wasn’t.
Joanna remembered Decker’s neighbors, in complete shock when they realized what he’d done. Never raised his voice, always so polite. He had lived in the neighborhood for thirteen years. His basement was sound-proofed, and there was a room his wife had never set foot in.
Alarmed by the possibility of having a real flashback while driving on this lonely road, Joanna located the diner Nate had mentioned, ready to counter the sickening images with some hearty food.
When she walked in, she noticed the uniformed cops in one booth, one local, two State Police. This was…interesting. Their table was empty, no sign that they had even ordered yet. She’d hang out here a little longer, see if there was something she could take away.
And what if? Would seeing the place where Christina was held make a difference? She wasn’t psychic, didn’t have flashes of the perpetrator while at a crime scene. It was all about the hard work of many individuals brought together, and even then, it sometimes amounted to very little.
That man was still out there, with his girlfriend. Possibly Grace. Was it really that obvious, or was she becoming paranoid, falling for an outlandish conspiracy theory?
The cops in the booth conversed quietly, too quietly for her to overhear.
They were taking a break, so it didn’t seem like there was anything acutely happening, but for sure, they had a reason to be around here. Joanna ordered a burger and fries and sat down at the counter. One of the men got a phone call, and they all got ready to leave, prompting her to take her order to go.
She followed the two cars at a distance—they were professionals, after all—asking herself once again what the hell she was doing. Or maybe that was Theo’s voice in her head.
What if she could help? She had spent many hours, then days and weeks on the slasher case, trying to put together the pieces, the spree from California, across the country, to his current location. He came back, why? To mess with the investigators, with her? How did Grace fit into all of this—was meeting her at The Copper Door more than a coincidence? He might know Joanna got out of prison.
When the cars slowed down, she drove past and parked a block away. From there she could see the road they had taken up to a wooded area with few cabins and vacation homes.
Joanna waited.
She’d stay here until they came back, and take a look for herself, just from afar, nothing to mess with the crime scene. It was probably crazy. She could be in her apartment, have a drink, relax. The problem was Joanna hadn’t relaxed much in the past years, and she wasn’t sure she knew how to. She picked up a pack of cigarettes, then reconsidered and ate her food instead. It was lukewarm, but at the moment it was the only comfort she could get.
It took about half an hour for the cars to return—Joanna concluded nothing major had happened. When the taillights disappeared in the distance, she took the same road off the highway and into the woods.
The slasher never killed his victims at the same site. He preferred dark remote places—somewhere to scuttle about like the roach he was. When she got out of the car, she saw the yellow tape right away. It was going to snow tonight, so she wouldn’t have to worry too much about tracks.
Remote houses, bloodied bodies and traces of ball pens and markers in the wounds. Her stomach churned violently. Joanna thought with regret that all the past years had done was to make her more vulnerable. She used to be able to live with the sights and sensations, believing she could actually make a difference.
“You can’t stay away, can you?”
She flinched at the sound of Theo’s voice. “I should have expected you to be here.”
“You are lucky that I know you. Otherwise I would be concerned by your passionate interest in my crime scenes. What is it going to take, Joanna? When are you going to understand this is not your concern anymore?”
“You’re the one who doesn’t understand,” she said, angry that he had caught her off guard. “I’m still a woman. It does concern me.”
“Try to be fair for a moment, Joanna. Everyone’s here is busting their asses to find him and Grace, men and women.”
“So she is a person of interest?” Joanna didn’t know whether she should be excited or appalled.
“She is. Look, there are people who are working this case. Don’t assume for a minute that they need you because they might not be skilled enough, or as determined as you are, because they are. You helped us, and I acknowledge that. What do you want? A prize?”
There was some truth to his words, Joanna had to admit. It didn’t make her concerns any less real. “I never said that.”
“Then why are you even here?”
“I need to see him go down,” Joanna said quickly, before she had the chance to make a more shameful confession. She knew it would be saner to keep her distance. A sane person would take the chance to stay away from death and horror if they could. Yet, she had felt an urgency ever since Vanessa brought up the subject of the murders. “Okay, here it is. I’m terrified that we overlooked something back then, and that it could happen again, and it’s my fault.”
Theo shook his head. “No. There was nothing else you, or anyone else, could have done. Hell, the FBI didn’t catch him. You have some serious issues to work on, but this case is in good hands. Let’s leave it at that.”
“You did contact the FBI to see what they had?”
“What do you think?”
“I’m sorry,” she relented. Sighed. “I know you got it covered. Just let me know when you get him, okay?”
“I will. Now go home. It’s freezing out here.”
“I wonder if he used this site before.”
“He never once used the same site.”
“Yeah, but I’m not so sure anymore. It’s remote, but this is close enough to the highway to get everything he needs…and he wouldn’t need to stay up here for long. It might be worth it to open up the ground. He came back to the area after all. There’s something, or someone, around here for him.”
Theo looked thoughtful.
“I don’t think so. They went to the motel, but didn’t intend to kill her there, too messy. This house has been abandoned for a long time. The owner died, and there were no relatives. Our killer knows his way around here, how to get in and out quickly.”
“It sucks that in this weather, traces don’t stay. How does he get her out of the motel and up here, with no one noticing?”
“It’s a motel. No one pays much attention in which condition people come in and out, sadly. We found some DNA up here though. And don’t try to distract. We are both going home now.”
“Yeah. I guess.”
They parted ways, and Joanna drove straight home. She ran a hot bath to get warm, and opened a bottle of beer. She couldn’t remember buying the dark red bubble bath—a gift from someone, maybe? Kira?—but in the dimmed light, it looked like blood, making her shudder.
When would the memories stop? Would they ever? Joanna wondered if Nate was able to escape what he couldn’t un-see during his Caribbean vacation. She doubted it, but it was nice to think of sun, beach and the ocean.
* * * *
Joanna was about to dispose of the printouts still scattered over her desk when her phone rang. She half feared it could be Grace again, half hoped Theo would get back to her with news, but of course it was too early for that. The connection was too vague for him to get a warrant, so he’d have to tread carefully.
Much to his credit, he hadn’t commented on the fact that she couldn’t give him a l
ast name. There was no name on the door, and in her emails and text, it only said GracieL. Theo would have to do the rest, but she figured it wouldn’t be too hard.
“You apartment isn’t that big,” Kira said. “Why aren’t you picking up the phone?”
Because I’m afraid it could be a serial murderer on the other end…
“Sorry,” Joanna mumbled. “What can I do for you?”
“Call every once in a while? You’re doing it again.”
Kira had been the closest she’d had to a friend in prison, and surprisingly, she’d kept in touch, even after being released eight months earlier. Life could take surprising turns, and not all of them were bad, at least for people other than Joanna. Kira had found a kind man, the father of two boys, and married him less than two months ago. She often tried to convince Joanna to come to dinner, but Joanna wasn’t comfortable around all that newfound happiness. Mostly, she thought her presence made others unfomfortable. Not Kira—she knew her friend understood completely what her reality looked like. The husband and kids, Joanna wasn’t so sure. She felt like every time she was over, he was beyond wary.
“I’m not doing anything. In fact, you’ll be glad to know that I reconnected with an old colleague.”
“Vanessa doesn’t count. You two have a sick relationship.”
“Thank you so much, and no, I wasn’t talking about Vanessa. I saw Theo, my old partner. He’s talking to me again, which is a major improvement. Another officer let me talk to a witness once I laid on the charm.”
“I don’t understand. What are you doing with a witness? You unload trucks and lift palettes for a living—which, I’d like to say, is not such a bad thing. I thought that part of your life was over, and you were okay with it.”
“It’s a long story.”
“You could come over and tell it to me.”
“I don’t think Coby would approve.”
“Coby likes you,” Kira protested. “Besides, he’s not here tonight, and neither are the boys. I’ve got Merlot and chocolate chip ice cream. As much of it as you like.”
“You’re trying to bribe me?” Joanna didn’t need much more. She was already in her coat.
Killer Instinct Page 4