by Holly Jaymes
After having a stiff double shot of whiskey, I called my agent and my lawyer. Both said they’d look over my contract, but neither sounded very optimistic.
I decided to stay the night, returning to Virginia on the earliest flight tomorrow. I’d rather have gone home right away and made love to Samantha, but until I got my life sorted out, it didn’t seem fair to her. Granted, so far, our relationship was about sex only, but I wanted more. I thought I had time, a year at least, to turn us into more, if she wanted it too. I wasn’t sure how she felt, but a part of me believed she had feelings beyond just lust.
But now, I couldn’t pursue a deeper relationship with her. My being away didn’t work last time, and it appeared that I had no leverage to force my network to allow me to stay in Virginia. They’d made that deal out of respect for me, I supposed, but in the end, money was more important than a happy home renovator.
In my bed that night, I felt more alone than I could ever remember feeling. I wished Samantha was there with me. I should have called her but I wanted to get my life together before I did. I couldn’t tell her I wanted her in my life but she’d have to wait again. I needed to figure out what to do, and then tell her what I wanted and how we could make it happen.
Alone in my bed, I wanted to hold her and inhale her sweet scent. I longed to kiss and touch her, to make her mine. I was supposed to have the dream job and the girl, dammit. Why was the universe always conspiring to take her away from me?
The next day, my six AM flight arrived at Dulles in Northern Virginia on time, and just after nine in the morning, I arrived at the house. I immediately called Steve and Megan into a quiet section of Samantha’s home to talk to them.
“Did something happen in Tampa?” Megan asked, sipping from a water bottle filled mostly with ice.
“They want to send us to Hollywood. Cassandra Lassiter bought Simon Duchet’s home and she wants us to fix it up.”
Steve whistled and Megan’s eyes grew round. This was a big deal to everyone except me.
Megan seemed to notice that I wasn’t impressed and she frowned. “What’s the problem?”
“The network agreed to let me move the show here to be near my family this year.”
“Oh right.” Steve nodded. “This Hollywood home is just a one-off though, right? Eight weeks?”
I shook my head. “They hope to set up more celebrity homes.”
“I hear it’s always nice in southern California. Not humid,” Steve said.
“You’re missing the point, here Steve.” Megan made a face at him. She turned to me. “Can you get out of it? The network did agree to let you stay here.”
“Vintage Makeover could do it,” Steve added, but I could see that he’d rather go to California. Not just for the weather but for the job. The truth was, doing a Hollywood home for an up-and-coming star was a big deal. The home was sure to have all sorts of cool features of the homes built during the early twentieth century. More so because a wealthy actor built it, which meant it would have interesting add-ons not in most homes of that era. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in the project. Would Samantha go with me if I invited her?
I shook my head at Steve’s suggestion. “Cassandra wants us.”
Megan scoffed. “She wants you. Young, handsome, strong… You’re perfect for Hollywood.”
I hated that she was using the same reasoning that Neal had. “Whatever the reason, we’re the show.” I kept to myself my efforts to get out of the deal.
Steve was poking on his tablet. “It says here Duchet built the home without sparing any expense. There’s an indoor lap pool.”
Megan rolled her eyes. “I wonder what sort of hidden issues that has caused?”
I didn’t blame her. Anything that involved water was a potential issue.
“The last update to the home was in the 1980s,” Steve said.
“That long?” I thought in a place like Hollywood that required a lot of money to afford to live, homes like that would have been maintained structurally and design-wise.
“Oh God, how much mauve and dusty blue and teal are in it?” Megan made a gagging noise.
I held my hands up. “I don’t want to discuss this project now. I’m not sure it’s a done deal.”
“Neal wouldn’t have brought you down if he didn’t think it was a done deal,” Steve said.
I shrugged. “For now, I want this to be our secret. I don’t want anyone to know that I’m leaving.”
They both nodded.
“I mean it. Not anyone. Not even Samantha.”
Megan’s brows lifted and it looked like she might say something, but my scowl must have made her think better of it.
“Now, where are we on this renovation?”
I listened as Megan and Steve updated me on what was started or completed while I was gone, what was scheduled for the day and a few issues with late contractors and deliveries.
I wanted to see Sam but still felt out of sorts. No doubt she’d know something was up, but I needed answers before I could face her.
“I’m going to head back to the office next door for a bit. I’ll take care of following up on these orders.” I took the papers from Megan. “I’ll be around later this afternoon.”
“Sure thing,” Steve said.
Megan had that look again, like she wanted to say something. Before she could, I made my way out of the house, careful to avoid Sam. If I was lucky, I’d get answers over the next few hours. Maybe my lawyer would find some sort of loophole that would let me out of my contract early. Maybe my agent would have some brilliant idea that would make the network decide I was too valuable to upset. I knew I was an asset to the network, but I wasn’t dumb or arrogant enough to think I wasn’t disposable. Having expressed my displeasure at the Hollywood deal probably tarnished my start a little with network executives. Four years ago, that would have concerned me. Now, I’d be perfectly happy if they fired me. Unfortunately, while they might not love me, they did like the money I brought in. I was too much of an asset to let go, but not so much so to give me my way. The situation was totally fucked up.
What I had to figure out was what to do if there was no way out of the Hollywood deal. How could I convince Samantha to wait for me? Would she even be open to waiting for me?
I’d gone through all this craziness four years ago and right now, it looked like we were going to end up in the same situation. But what was that saying about doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome? Was I just setting myself up to get hurt again?
Book 1: Chapter 15 Samantha—Beginning of the End… Again
Samantha
“Listen, for now, I want this to be our secret. I don’t want anyone to know I’m leaving. I mean it. Not anyone. Not even Samantha.”
Gabe’s words echoed in my ears. I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop on his meeting with Steve and Megan. Word had spread through the house that he was back, and I’d wanted to see him. Clearly, he wasn’t ready to see me.
It was ridiculous how much I’d missed him last night, but all the happiness at his being home dissipated when I heard his words to Megan and Steve. He was leaving? Why wasn’t he going to tell me? Was I going to wake up one morning and he’d just be gone? Did he reconnect with someone in Florida and was going to return to her? Megan had chastised me for such a thought. But if no one would or could tell me what was up, how could I know the truth? The fact that he didn’t want me to know indicated it was bad.
My stomach was sick with the idea that Gabe was going to break my heart again. I’d known it was a possibility. In fact, I’d set out to make sure it wouldn’t happen again. Clearly, I failed at that. I’d let myself hope that this time it would be different. Thank goodness I hadn’t told him how I really felt. Maybe he was getting an inkling and that was why he was planning to leave.
Whatever the reason, he didn’t want me to know and I’d play along. At least in the not knowing his plans. I couldn’t afford to be ensnared by his charm or sexiness anymore, that
was for sure. That meant no more sex, and I couldn’t stay at his house anymore either.
“Megan, when can I return to my house?” I found her after her meeting with Gabe, going over paperwork while sitting on my back porch. She seemed to have turned that area into her own little office. I couldn’t blame her. Right now, it was the nicest room in the house.
Megan cocked her head. “When it’s done. The reveal will be…” She looked at her calendar. “Ten days.”
“Can I move in until then?”
“We need you out for sure next week. That’s when all the magic begins.” She smiled brightly. Too brightly. Like she was trying to overcompensate for the disappointment that was coming my way when Gabe left. How come she didn’t give him a tongue lashing like she’d given me?
“Can I stay the next few nights then?”
She frowned. “Why? You have a room over at Gabe’s.”
She knew the truth about me and Gabe but was going along with the ruse. She was loyal to Gabe, which was why I knew if I asked her about Gabe’s plans, she wouldn’t tell me anything.
“I’m just ready to be in my home. There is a functioning bathroom, and I can live without a kitchen for a few days.”
“Is something wrong, Sam?”
Yes, I wanted to yell. Gabe and you are lying to me! “No. I just want to be in my home.”
“You can probably stay the next two nights, but we need you out this weekend after the last big push. Did you get friends who can come?”
“I have one for sure.” Dean said he could help, but Angela had another engagement. When I told her Dean would be there, she said she’d try to get out of it, but since it was a wedding in which she was the maid of honor, that didn’t seem likely. There had been a time I thought she might have been my maid of honor. I’d even began to think those thoughts again recently. What an idiot I was.
“I’ll check with Gabe, but as long as you’re out next week, the next couple of days should be okay.”
Good. I went back to work, wallowing in my self-pity and sorrow, even as I tried to remind myself of all the good in my life. I owned a wonderful home that in ten days would be fabulous. I had a great family and fantastic friends. I loved my teaching job which would be starting again in a month. Who needed a man to make life whole? More importantly, who needed a man like Gabe? Not me.
Later in the afternoon, Gabe finally appeared in the living room where I was working alone. I’d wondered if he‘d been avoiding me. He’d been back for hours and only now was seeking me out. If he was avoiding me, that was just as well because I was avoiding him too.
He looked around the space, and seeing it was empty of people, he came to me and started to hug me, as he had been doing before he left on his trip. I was too surprised to react, until he pulled away. Why was he pretending with us if he was just going to leave?
“Everything okay with your trip?” I asked, returning to the task of stripping the finish off the living room mantel.
A dark shadow crossed his face. “Just business stuff.” He looked around the room. “Only a week or so left. How are you feeling about the work so far?”
My heart stumbled in my chest at his words… “Only a week left.” I swallowed my pain. “I’d be a liar if I said it was perfect, but what has been done is great.”
He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Sorry about the baroque paper.”
I realized I was being a bitch. I’d won a home renovation worth fifty-thousand dollars and was whining because it wasn’t enough to fix the entire home. “You were right. Much of the cosmetic stuff I can do over time.” It’s not like I had much else to occupy my time once he left. “I’m going to stay here the next few nights.”
“What?” He looked at me in surprise. “Is something wrong?”
Was he kidding? A tug of war raged in my head. Tell him you know about his plans to leave. Tell him how you really feel. But my need to protect my heart won over. “No. I just want to be in my own house.”
He stared at me like he didn’t believe me. “I’m sorry I didn’t make it back last night. It was late and I had a few things I needed to take care of down there.”
I managed a smile. “I understand. This is your job. You have to do what your boss tells you.”
He looked away, as if he didn’t like my statement. Was his boss making him go away? He told me the network allowed him to move the show here for the year to be with his family.
He sighed. “I should get to work.”
I nodded. “There’s still a lot to do.”
He kissed me on the cheek and then left the room. This was why we’d never work. He wouldn’t tell me the truth and I was too gutless to ask for it.
My phone rang and I was happy for the distraction. I took off my gloves and picked up the phone. The caller ID said it was Dean.
“Hey, Dean.”
“Hey, Sam. Listen, I’m still good for this weekend, but I’m down in your area this afternoon and I thought I could stop by with some wine and you can show off your new digs.”
“Yes, I’d love that.” If Dean was here, then I wouldn’t get tempted by Gabe if he stopped by later tonight. “Should I invite Angela too?”
“I wouldn’t object to that, but it’s up to you.”
“Seven or so? Maybe you can bring some takeout. I don’t have a kitchen.”
“Thai okay?”
“That’s great. I’ll see you tonight.”
I texted the info to Angela to see if she could come over. She replied that she’d be there closer to eight, and asked what she should wear.
I laughed and texted back that it was a construction zone, so nothing fancy. I followed up the text to avoid anything risqué either. She needed to save that for when she was alone with Dean and not with me there too.
At seven, Dean parked his fancy Audi in front of the house.
“Patent law must be lucrative,” I said when I opened the door to him and his wine and bags of Thai food.
“People pay a lot to protect what’s theirs.” He gave me a side hug and a kiss on the cheek, not unlike Gabe’s earlier in the day. But Gabe’s had made me sad.
“We can’t use the kitchen, but you can put the food here.” I motioned to a slab of wood laid over a couple of sawhorses. “I have a few plastic forks.”
“I picked up plates and utensils too.” He held up another bag.
“You’re so prepared.”
“Eagle Scout, remember.” He winked.
In many ways, Dean was the perfect guy. Handsome, financially secure, smart and kind. At one time, I’d loved him, or as much as a teenager can love.
But I never felt for anyone what I had for Gabe, which I supposed made him, not Dean, my first true love. Perhaps that was why it was so hard now. Was I wanting what we once had? That wasn’t smart. What was the saying, you can’t go back? Or was it you can’t go home? Either was fitting in this scenario.
“Angela will be here around eight. Do you want to wait and take the tour with her, and we can start the wine now?”
“Sure.”
I had a wine opener in a box out back, and ten minutes later, we were sitting on the covered couch in the library while I described to Dean the work that had been done and still planned to be done in the library as well as other areas of the house. I worked to ignore the fact that I’d had sex on that couch with Gabe, several times over the last few weeks.
“Look up,” I said to Dean.
Sitting next to me, Dean’s head dropped back at an angle near mine. “Wow. That’s amazing.”
Beautiful dark wood molding framed the ceiling, which was painted in a muted green color. An intricately-designed dark wood medallion encircled the newly-cleaned light fixture.
“You can’t help but feel fancy and smart in this room.”
I laughed. “Wait until I fill it with books.” I turned my head toward him and he looked at me, nearly putting our foreheads together.
“You done good, Sam.”
As much
as I enjoyed the camaraderie with Dean, a part of me wished Gabe was here. He was the one who found the beautiful medallion, cleaned it, stained it and installed it.
We sat and chatted for a while, when I heard movement on the porch.
“I wonder if that’s Angela.” I stood to get the door. Dean came along, I supposed eager to see for himself. I thought it would be interesting to see them together. But when I opened the door, Megan was there.
“Hey Sam, I was hoping to see…” She stopped short when she saw Dean standing behind me. “Oh. Ah, is Gabe here?”
I shook my head. “No. He left an hour or so ago, I think.” I’d decided to not make it my business to keep tabs on Gabe anymore.
Megan frowned as she looked to me and then Dean. It made me uncomfortable, as if I was caught being bad. But I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Dean was just a friend. And even if he wasn’t, Gabe was the one who was lying and planning to leave without telling me.
“This is Dean. He’s the one that will be helping this weekend.” To Dean, I said, “This is Megan, she works with Gabe on the show.”
“Hi,” Megan said.
“How are you?” Dean reached out his hand from around me, shaking Megan’s
“Have you looked for Gabe at his place?” I asked.
“No, not yet. I just thought he’d be here… I’ll just go catch him there.”
I watched her for a minute as she descended the porch steps, not liking the guilt her expression and attitude made me feel. I wanted to call after her that I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
“Everything alright?” Dean asked.
“I guess so.”
“She assumed Gabe would be here with you. Does she know about you two?” His brows rose in curiosity.
I shrugged, not wanting to get into it. “That’s done.” At least I thought it was. I closed the door, grabbed the wine bottle and poured more.
“Something wrong?” Dean asked from behind me.
I shook my head and mustered a smile. “It’s all good. And it will be even better when Angela arrives.” The words felt like ash in my mouth because actually, things weren’t good. Inside, my heart was breaking into tiny pieces. How did I let this happen, dammit?