His effortlessness and charm should have eased me, but sometimes it only stoked more irritation through me, made me feel less because I didn’t enjoy it. Didn’t he ever want to tell them off? Have a bad day? Wear a tracksuit to a gala? Or—gasp—not go at all.
Theo came around the car, reaching out for me, his arm curling around my waist, turning us to the paps.
Click. Click. Click. Click. Flashes burned my irises. My smile was forced over my face as I turned my head like I was taught, to get the best picture.
“Theo! Theo! When are you going to propose? Theo!”
His grin widened, looking down at me coyly. “Soon.”
I smiled up at him, acting like this was something we had discussed, while my stomach dropped like a roller coaster, twisting and turning around my gut.
He waved at them, lacing his free hand with mine, pivoting us to the entrance with perfection. We ticked all the boxes: elegant, sweet, charming, and poised. The image the world seemed to demand us to be, forgetting we were human beings.
And we were still teenagers.
We stepped in, staff descending on us, taking our coats as lords and ladies milled around, already pivoting to the prince.
“Theo…” I looked up, needing a moment with him. Us. A reminder I wasn’t drowning in all this.
He glanced down at me before his name rang through the doorway to the arena. He turned quickly toward the sound, and I knew I was already forgotten.
“Theodore!” Lord Astor held up a drink, waving him over. Ben stood next to his father, already appearing hammered, slamming back the scotch in his hand. Lord Grant Astor was a good-looking man, Ben taking a lot after him. Tall and lean with a mop of brown hair, both father and son held themselves like only the true elite did.
“Good to see you, Grant.” Theo shook hands with him before he and Ben clapped each other on the back.
“It’s been a long time, my boy,” Grant replied, his accent posh. “I was just telling Benjamin the other day we hardly see you anymore.”
“Yeah, life has been busy.”
“Aye, aye,” Grant replied, bobbing his head. “The life of the future king.” He bent toward me. “And this must be Spencer.” He took my hand, his gaze raking over me with interest, kissing it softly. “Very nice meeting you.”
“And you.” I dipped my legs in greeting. Living with the King and Queen of Great Victoria had you dropping into a curtsy frequently.
“I can see why we see even less of Theo. A true beauty.” He dropped my hand, nodding at Theo. “Well done, my boy.”
I blinked, my head jerking at his declaration, glancing at Theo and Ben to see if they had heard it. They continued to talk, catching up, no one seeming to think the statement was odd.
He congratulated Theo for choosing me. Like he picked out the prettiest thoroughbred in the corral. Being pretty was all the accomplishment I needed to have.
I went to school and got top marks in veterinary science, getting invited to the most prestigious school in this country, but in this world, looks were all that still mattered.
Theo held my hand, but I could have been anyone. Standing silently, I tucked back into my thoughts as they chatted. I knew I was extra grumpy today, but I could feel my anger building the more I stood there like a prop.
“Prince Theodore.” One of the king’s many assistants came up to Theo. “The king and queen would like a moment with you.”
“Of course,” he replied. “I’ll see you later.”
“Of course, old boy.” Grant bowed his head. Ben lifted his drink at us as we walked away, his eyes glazed with alcohol, his body swaying slightly.
“Ben’s already drunk?” I muttered.
“Yeah.” Theo frowned. “So? He’s having a good time. Letting off steam.”
“I didn’t mean it as a judgment.”
“Yeah, you did.”
I stopped, halting Theo with me, my head tipping to the side.
“Sorry.” He sighed. “It’s just that you don’t understand what it’s like growing up like this. The pressure. His father is an arsehole. He seems cool but is constantly tearing Ben down. Ben is never good enough.”
“I don’t know what it’s like?” I folded my arms. It was the first time Theo hinted that he also thought little of my family, that our title was nothing more than an honorary label.
“Bloody hell, Spence, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just different for our families, especially the guys. They expect so much from us.”
My head slanted the opposite way, my irritation level already bubbling at the seams.
“Shite… I didn’t mean—”
“Theo.” I held up my hand. “For your safety, I’m going to go to the bar. After you see your parents, figure out what you do mean. You can find me there.” I whirled around, heading off. He called after me, but I didn’t stop, needing a drink to soothe the fire burning inside me.
On good days I wasn’t great around people; this night, I should have been left at home.
Pizza and a movie sound good tonight. Lennox’s words dangled like a carrot in front of me. If I snuck out, no one would get upset because they missed me, but because of how it would look. The PR team would have a fit.
“Champagne, my lady?” A handsome bartender, dressed in old suspenders and crisp white shirt prompted the moment I stepped up.
“Have anything stronger than that?” I cocked an eyebrow.
A slow, knowing smile curved his mouth. “We’ll see what I can come up with.” He winked at me, flipping a shaker up into the air. He poured different liquors in it, shaking it around before pouring it into a flute, adding a flower garnish.
“Pretty, but lethal.” He smiled. “Like you.”
I blushed, picking up the glass, tipping it down my throat. Sweet, but warmth burned my esophagus from the percentage of alcohol in it, making my eyes water.
“Wow.” I blinked, patting my chest. The bartender’s smile widened with pride.
“Thought you might like that.”
“It’s perfect.” I hacked a little, fully taking in the sweet burn. “Thank you.”
“Welcome, ma’am.”
“Do I look like a ma’am to you?”
“No. You do not.” He grinned, peering at me while moving around the tented bar they had set up inside, refilling the garnishes and serving other customers. “What should I call you, then?”
“Spencer works.” I finished off the rest of the cocktail.
“You know I could be fired for that.”
I exhaled, setting the glass down, knowing he was right. Anyone overhearing him be so informal with me would find it improper.
“Another one?” He tipped his head at the empty glass.
“Yes.” I nodded my head, feeling the pins in my hair scrape my scalp. I watched him start to mix the drink, lost in the smoothness of his movements. Like it was choreographed dance. “What’s your name?” I asked, feeling a good buzz settle in. Crap, what was in this thing?
“Jacob.” He poured the cocktail into a fresh glass, pushing it to me.
“Well, Jacob, you’ve probably saved my life, or at least saved others from me.”
“Glad to be of service, my lady.” He leaned on the counter, staring at me with a flirty smile.
A harsh cough snapped my head to my side.
“Is everything all right here?” Lennox stepped up, his chest puffed, gaze darting from Jacob to me.
“Yeah.” I arched a brow in confusion. “Just getting a drink. Oh, sorry, did I need to ask you for permission? I keep forgetting I answer to you.”
Lennox’s shoulders rose, a nerve twitching in his jaw.
“Funny,” he growled under his breath.
“Is it?” I glared up at him, then snapped my head back forward. “Having a drink with my new favorite person, Jacob, here.” I motioned to the bartender, sounding drunker than I thought I was.
“No more for her,” Lennox spoke over my head to the bartender.
“Pard
on me?” Fire. Rage. Like a monster bursting through my chest, I rotated to him. “You do not tell me what to do.”
Lennox stepped into me, his head bowed close. “When you’re drunk and start acting foolishly in front of press, royalty, and judgy nobles, who are all foaming at the mouth to tear you down, as your bodyguard—as your friend—I’m going to step in.” His eyes flicked over my head to Jacob.
My toes butted into his shoes, my shoulders square as I moved in even closer, his body practically touching mine.
“You’re not my friend.” My voice was low, my tongue lashing. “You made that clear. You are my bodyguard. An employee of the royal house. And as much as you’d like to think the other way, you do not give orders. Especially to someone who might become royal. Your employer.” I hated the declaration the moment I said it, sounding beyond bitchy and elitist.
He inhaled sharply, his mouth pinching.
“Go away, Lennox. I will beckon if I need you.” I whipped back around, anger and alcohol fueling my words, but shame and self-loathing burned in my stomach like acid.
None of that sounded like me. It wasn’t the person I was, but for some reason, out of the entire world, Lennox seemed to bring it out in me.
He muttered something under his breath, marching away from me. I forced a smile on my face like I was glad he was gone, my attention back on Jacob. “How about another one?”
Jacob stood there, his gaze sliding from me to where Lennox used to be, a strange expression on his face, like he knew or understood something.
“I need to get a new bodyguard. We can’t stand each other.”
“That’s not what it looked like from here.”
“Oh god, no. That was pure loathing. If I turn up dead, look to him first.”
Jacob snorted, starting to mix a new drink.
“He’s right, my dear.” A crusty voice jumped me back around. This time it was someone I wanted to see even less than Lennox.
Lord William.
He leaned back on an elbow, facing out toward the track, a glass primed right at his smug lips.
“You two are rubbish at hiding it.”
“We’re not hiding anything,” I snapped.
Only his eyes slid to me. Condescending. “Please, my dear.” He looked back out, taking a drink. “I may be old, but I know when two people are in a lovers’ spat.”
“We’re not—”
“Hey, I’m not judging. You clearly aren’t getting pleasured enough by the prince.” He leered at me, licking his lips. “Finding excitement with the bodyguard. Tale as old as time, my girl.” Every vulgar word dragged over my skin, stirring bile in my gut. “If you only came to me, I could have given you everything you desire.”
“You are disgusting,” I seethed, stepping away. His hand wrapped around my wrist, holding me in place, his grip much firmer than you’d expect for someone his age.
“You want me to stay quiet?” His stale breath was heavy with alcohol. “You rub my back, and I’ll rub yours.”
“There’s nothing to stay quiet about.” I tried to jerk my hand from his grip, but his bony fingers wrapped around tighter.
“Sure, there is.” A malicious smile grew on his face, his eyes dropping to my breasts, licking his lips. “You can deny it all you want, but it’s so clear to anyone really looking. All it will take is a little point in your direction, a little implication of your bodyguard. To the king, to the press… just a whisper, and you will be besieged in doubt and ridicule. The king already doesn’t believe you belong. You think after that he will allow his only son to marry you?” Smugness engulfed his face. “And that’s without adding your destitute family.”
“Leave my family out of this,” I growled, yanking my hand from his. “They have nothing to do with any of this.”
“Don’t they?” His head flicked to something behind me. I twisted around to see my uncle over by the racetrack, his face contorted in anger, his frame defensive and angry, arguing with someone I couldn’t see.
What was Fredrick doing here? I didn’t think any of my family was invited. And wouldn’t my mum have told me if they were coming? But I didn’t see anyone else. Not Landen, my aunt, or my parents.
Just my uncle.
“It seems your family is right in the middle, gambling away what’s left of your pitiful fortune and legacy. If you have any left.” He took a sip of his drink. “How humiliating for you that you are acting so righteous now, when it’s only a matter of time before you will be on your knees in my office, begging me to help you.”
I gulped back the acid gagging my throat, my chin lifting.
“Grandpa, the closest you will see me on my knees is leaning over to throw dirt on your coffin.”
He grinned, showing off his yellowing teeth. “How fun you will be to break.”
Folding my arms, I glowered at him.
“How much I’m going to enjoy when that stubbornness is groveling at my feet. I have the means and the money to protect you, Spencer… or destroy you.”
“Get away from me.”
Lord William’s mouth brushed against my cheek, chuckling lowly. “Oh, the scandal we’ll have, Ms. Sutton,” he said, strolling away with a wink.
Chapter 23
Of course, the moment I went looking for my uncle, he was nowhere to be found, building on my already temperamental mood. What was he doing here? Was Lord William telling the truth, or was he just trying to provoke me?
And why did that man seem to want to get my family?
Frustrated and crashing from my buzz, I went searching for Theo, finding him with a bunch of nobles and celebrities, drinking and laughing, which peeved me. Had he even tried to find me? Not even a text?
Hazel, Charlie, Ben, and of course, the last person I wanted to ever be near, Lord William, circled the prince.
Damn, he’s a cockroach that won’t die.
As I stepped up next to Theo, his smile widened, his hand coming to my back.
“There you are.” He drew me in but still kept it respectable. Royals were criticized for showing too much PDA but also too little, walking the Goldilocks line of “just right.”
“Here I am.” I forced a smile on my face, acting like Lord William’s greasy gaze wasn’t drilling into me. “Why didn’t you come find me?”
“Oh sorry, I got distracted.” He motioned to the group. Two actors from a telly soap opera were standing on the other side.
My lips pinned together with a nod. “Sure.”
“It’s my fault, my dear. I was jabbering his ear off, but if it makes you feel better, we were talking the entire time about you.” Lord William’s voice was full of hidden “Easter eggs” of threats.
My back straightened, my expression going neutral as fear iced my veins. “Really?”
“I was just asking him about your interests.” He took a sip of his drink, his eyes never leaving me. “I didn’t know you had studied to be a veterinarian. How interesting.”
“Yeah, Spence was the top of her class, got invited to Royal College of Veterinary Surgeons.” Theo rubbed my back.
“Wow. Impressive.” Lord Dickhead lifted an eyebrow, his mouth coiling in a knowing sneer. “And you didn’t accept?”
“No.” Arsehole. He knew my family couldn’t afford it.
“Well, it’s not like she could go anyway. So I guess it was for the best. Down the road, she can pick up charities to focus on if she wants,” Theo replied.
Like this was some adorable hobby. “What?” I pulled away, turning to look at him. I could feel the eyes of the group moving to us, picking up on the mood shift.
“Spence, you knew this. We talked about it.” Theo’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, his voice low. “As a royal, you couldn’t have continued on with your studies anyway. It would have been a waste of time and money.”
“Excuse. Me?” My foot stepped back, my shoulders rising. “A waste of time?”
John’s eyes glinted as they went back and forth between us.
&
nbsp; Theo’s face bowed in a frown. “You know I didn’t mean that.”
“You seem to say that a lot,” I challenged. “Didn’t sound very convoluted.”
“Spen-cer.” Theo dragged out my name, his gaze darting around to the group staring at us with awkward fascination. “Can we talk about this later? This is not the place.”
The fire inside raged like a monster, screaming and clawing, but as usual, I tucked it back, pinning a thin smile on my face.
“Of course.”
He grinned, his arm curled back around me, pulling me into his side, his lips brushing my forehead.
“All bets in? My horse is coming up next race!” Theo sliced through the strained air, getting his friends cheering and moving toward the jumping track, forgetting the scene they just witnessed. “Look, there she is!”
Numbly, I moved with them, my eyes landing on the horse Theo was pointing at, my throat closing.
Penny Dreadful.
And on her back was Katy.
It was like that final fuse. I needed to get out or the monster was going to burst from me.
“I need some air.” I broke from Theo.
“You all right? Want me to come with you?”
“No,” I said far too firmly, my head shaking. “I’ll be fine. Enjoy the race.” I didn’t let him respond, my feet already cutting across the large stadium.
“Spencer?” he called out, but I slipped into the throng of people, the announcement of the next race drawing groups closer.
Keeping my head down, tears burning under my lids, I rushed for a back door. Yes, I was a bit sensitive tonight, but officially hearing the crash and burn of my dreams being brushed aside so easily hurt like hell, knowing that without question, my entire world should revolve around him.
I loved him, but right now, the chains felt heavy.
“My lady?” The voice calling for me only tore at my chest even more.
I knew if I turned around and looked at him, I’d break.
“Spencer. Stop.”
For some reason I did, feeling depleted, no fight left in me.
His physique moved in behind mine, and I could feel the heat, his presence battering against my skin, plucking at my lungs like a violin. He didn’t touch me, but with every bit of my skin, clothed or not, I could feel him like he was.
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