by April Hunt
Still singing, she shut off the water and towel-dried, quickly realizing she’d forgotten her clothes in the bedroom. She opted for Knox’s T-shirt that she’d slipped into after their third round of lovemaking, and padded barefoot into the living room to get dressed.
Raised voices from above stopped her in front of the bedroom door. She counted at least two, and possibly more. Definitely her brother’s. His low bellow wasn’t one anyone could miss—or ignore.
She’d hoped to have at least one cup of decaf in her system before she had to face the reality of the day—and last evening. But fate had other plans.
Forgetting her clothes, she climbed the stairs.
“How the fucking hell am I supposed to make sense of everything?” Cade demanded angrily, his tone abrasive. “I asked you to look out for her…and then this happens?”
“You need to calm down,” Knox urged in a low tone.
“I will not calm down! It’s all shades of fucked up! It’s—”
Zoey stepped onto the deck and finished his statement her way: “None of your business.”
Cade’s eyes, a lot like her own, widened before slowly dropping to her bare legs and obviously wet hair. His anger slowly dissolved and turned to something akin to shock. Zoey recognized it right away. Whatever they’d been arguing about hadn’t been about her and Knox.
Crap on a cracker.
Cade’s glare shot from Zoey to Knox. “First someone slinks into her apartment and makes her a part of the Big fucking Brother club and now this? You care to fucking explain this to me too?”
Cade didn’t wait for an explanation. Face twisted into a feral snarl, he charged Knox.
“Cade, stop!” Zoey stepped between the two men.
This wasn’t what she’d wanted. She’d wanted Knox, yes, but she didn’t want to cause a rift between the two longtime friends.
“Move, little bit.”
“No. Let me explain—”
“I get the picture pretty loud and clear, Zo. You’re standing in the middle of my best friend’s boat with a wet head and no clothes. Strike that—you’re wearing his fucking clothes.”
A large hand landed on Cade’s shoulder. “Take a deep breath, son.”
Cade shrugged off the touch and turned his glare on its owner. “Don’t you dare call me son. I told you about the damn cameras for one reason, and one reason only. Because you claimed you could help. Don’t make me regret it.”
For the first time, Zoey noticed Cade and Knox weren’t alone on deck.
Hogan Wilcox stood nearly nose to nose with her brother, his scowl nearly matching Cade’s. “You may have let me come along, but I’m not about to let you do something you’re going to regret.”
“No way in hell am I going to regret pounding Knox to a bloody pulp. He knows my baby sister is off limits.”
Behind her, Knox tensed. “In case you haven’t noticed, she’s not a baby anymore.”
Cade lurched forward. Zoey pushed on her brother’s chest to keep them separated. “Stop it! Or I’m going to douse you both with…something.”
“Stay out of this, Zoey,” Cade ordered. “This is between me and the asshole.”
Either one of them could’ve tucked her aside without much effort, but they glared at each other from over the top of her head.
Zoey jabbed Cade hard in the stomach to get his attention. “Actually, unless you’ve been sleeping with him too, it’s between me and Knox. It has nothing to do with you.”
“When my best friend and baby sister are fucking behind my back, it sure as hell does.”
“Don’t talk to her like that.” Knox’s voice dropped, eerily calm and deadly low. “If you want to go a round with me, let’s have at it, but leave Zoey out of it.”
Zoey tossed her hands in the air. “I’m a grown woman with her own mind and body—which, just so you know, I happen to own all the rights to. Mine.”
“Yours,” Cade agreed with a scowl, “and apparently his. Isn’t that right?”
“We’re not doing anything wrong.”
“Yeah? Then why haven’t you come out in the open with whatever the fuck this is?” Cade challenged.
Partly for this reason, and Zoey had to admit, keeping it under wraps meant not having to explain things to people when it ended. Breakups were always difficult. Having her insides ripped out and set on fire would tickle compared to what she’d feel when she and Knox parted ways.
“That’s what I thought.” Cade took her silence as a point in his favor.
She ignored the slight tremble in her chest. “None of it’s what you thought because you’re wrong.”
“Because he’s the one?” Cade snorted. “Pardon me if I don’t believe that.”
“Because he treats me—and believes—that I’m more than capable of making my own decisions. That’s probably a difficult concept for you to grasp considering you’re so damn used to trying to make them for me.”
Something glinted in her brother’s eyes as his gaze shifted from her, to Knox, and back. “He doesn’t make decisions for you? Are you sure about that, sis?”
Knox stepped up next to Zoey, his jaw clenched. “Maybe now’s not the best time.”
Cade let out a humorless chuckle. “It’s the perfect time, Knox. I mean, come on.”
“Time for what?” Zoey demanded.
“Cade. Not like this,” Hogan Wilcox added.
Frustration knotted Zoey’s hands at her side. “What does everyone know that I don’t? I swear, if someone doesn’t spill it soon I’m going to—”
“Meet our dear old dad, Zo,” Cade interjected. He shot a scowl at the older man. “Dad, meet the daughter whose life you gambled with by watching from the sidelines…the one whose hospital bills you paid anonymously because you didn’t want to ruin your esteemed family’s reputation.”
Zoey’s heart tripped a beat before stumbling back into its normal rhythm. Her brain struggled to catch up. “What?”
Wilcox shifted on his feet, looking uncomfortable. “There’s a lot more to it than that.”
“Is there? Really?” Cade shook his head. “Everything can be boiled down to those simple facts.”
Zoey heard the truth in Cade’s voice. She saw it on his face…and on Hogan Wilcox’s.
A rush of feelings bombarded her, and she couldn’t wrap her head around a single one. Even being blessed with a mother as wonderful as Gretchen, a foster child always—at least once—thought about the what-ifs. It couldn’t be helped.
Except…
Zoey turned toward Knox. In his eyes, she saw concern, worry…and knowledge.
Her voice sounded breathless as she worked around speaking through the forming lump. “You told Cade that now wasn’t the best time. You…knew? About my…Wilcox?”
“Angel.” He reached out to her, and she stepped back.
Shaking her head, she barely withheld tears. “Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I tried. Last night, I told you that we needed to talk. I didn’t know long.” Knox cursed, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I know that doesn’t make it any easier to hear, but—”
“But you knew. Before you took me downstairs and let me bare myself to you, you knew. Before we made love, you knew. And you didn’t think that maybe that would be something that I’d want to know…that I deserved to know?”
Knox looked tenser than she had ever seen him. “I was going to tell you.”
“But you didn’t. Why?” Zoey held her breath and mentally prepared herself for the answer. Her gut already told her why. “Why, Knox?”
“Because I knew it would hurt you. I wanted…” Knox’s throat bobbed with the force of his swallow. For the first time in forever, he looked uncomfortable.
Good.
“I wanted to protect you,” he admitted gruffly, voice barely audible. “From getting hurt.”
“Because I couldn’t handle hearing the truth?”
“No.” Knox grasped her arms. “Zoey, no. You’re the strongest pe
rson I know.”
“Except, evidently, when it comes to miraculously reappearing father figures.”
She pulled away, and with every step that separated them, a pain pierced through the center of her chest. Tears blurred her vision. “I can’t be around any of you right now.”
“Zoey. Don’t do anything foolish.” Cade took a step closer, but she warned him off with a glare.
“Foolish?” She laughed, the sound hollow even to her own ears. “You mean like lie to someone I supposedly care about? No, I’ll leave that to the three of you.” She tossed a harsh look toward Hogan Wilcox. “Well, two of you. Because you, Dad, are a stranger to me.”
Suddenly, the open space of the river was too stifling. She went below deck and fired off a mayday text to Grace, who answered right away.
Fifteen minutes.
Zoey changed back into her clothes and collected her things. Soon after fifteen minutes passed, she went topside. Hogan Wilcox, Cade, and Knox stood on separate ends of the boat. All pissed. All glaring.
They could push one another overboard for all she cared.
“Did I miss the party?” Grace stopped mid-gangway and muttered a round of expletives under her breath. “Evidently I did.”
“Thanks for coming to get me.”
“No problem.” She glanced around at the stern faces, but said nothing.
Knox’s hand reached out as she walked past. “Angel.”
She whirled around, angry and close to tears. “You can stop calling me that anytime now. You can stop calling me period.”
“That’s not going to happen, sweetheart. Because there’s still the matter of those cameras.”
“And I’ll handle it…with Liam. And Roman. And Ryder. Steele Ops. That way, you’re free to head out to California anytime you want.” She turned to a concerned Grace. “Let’s go.”
“Are you sure you don’t—”
“Yes.” At the crack of Zoey’s voice, her friend nodded and led the way.
Knox called over the boat, “Don’t leave like this. Please.”
The pain in his voice made her own ten times worse. “One of us was always going to leave, Knox. I just happen to be doing it first.”
Last night, she’d opened herself like she’d never done with anyone before. She’d exposed everything, every last fear and need, every last desire. And instead of handing it back or ignoring it, Knox had taken it with both hands and did what it had taken her until that very moment to do.
Embrace it.
Accept it.
Love it.
She hustled toward Grace’s rental, more tears pouring down her cheeks with every step. She couldn’t look back toward the boat. She couldn’t look back—period.
If she did, she’d see her heart lying in front of Knox’s feet.
In pieces.
Chapter
Twenty-Six
Knox whaled on the heavy bag in front of him, taking out the frustrations of the day on his fists. His knuckles, one of which he may have knocked out of its socket a time or two, had cracked open twenty minutes ago, but he didn’t care.
He deserved all that and a hell of a lot more.
He’d been punishing his body for the last two hours and still hadn’t come close to the pain of watching Zoey walk away. That had dug deep…far deeper than anything he could’ve imagined.
And he didn’t have anyone to blame but himself.
Every last bit of her anger was justified. She’d laid her trust in him and he’d taken it for a fucking joyride. Good intentions or not, he’d done exactly what he knew she hated.
He’d taken her decisions away from her.
He should’ve insisted on talking, on telling her about Wilcox, and then have been there for her during the fallout. It wouldn’t have been easy for either of them, but at least they’d still be on his boat and wound together like two vines.
Maybe.
“If this isn’t the sight of a guy who screwed up, I don’t know what is.” Roman’s voice echoed through the room.
“Enlightening. Now go the fuck away.” Knox hooked a severe left jab into the bag and winced when something cracked.
“The cool thing about being boss is that I go where I want. You’re in my gym, man.”
“Fine. Then I’ll go.” Knox gave the bag one last punch and pushed his way toward his stuff.
“You’re leaving? Just like that?”
“You said it yourself, Ro. I’m not needed here. You guys are what? A week from opening Iron Bars? All you have to do at Steele Ops is hire a few more bodies and you’ll be well on your way to having enough of a team to start taking assignments. You don’t need me here using your gym.”
“That’s a pretty asshole thing to say…even for you.”
Knox whipped around, fists clenched at his sides. “What the hell do you want from me, Roman? You’ve been chomping at the bit to have me out of your hair. Well, congratulations. You got what you wanted.”
“Expected, not wanted.”
Knox let out a humorless snort. “Not a big difference there.”
“Actually, it’s huge. Just like the empty area in your back where your spine should be.”
Knox tossed his towel aside and got right in Roman’s face. “Care to say that again? Be warned though, because this time, I’ll punch back.”
“At least you’ll be fighting for something that’s important to you.” His younger brother didn’t move, or flinch, staring him dead in the eye. “Hey, I get it. It’s a hell of a lot easier to run than deal with shit. Or drink. Or fuck. Or punch the shit out of things until your knuckles bleed. I. Get. It. Which means I’m going to be real with you for a second.”
“Can’t wait to hear Roman’s Words of Wisdom.”
“You admitted before that you stayed away to protect all of us from your issues, and that may be. But dig a bit deeper and you’ll realize that it’s not the only reason. You stayed away for you.”
“For me?”
“Why are you taking a job three thousand miles away? One that we both know you’re going to hate with a fiery passion?” Roman shook his head, cutting off Knox’s retort. “Because if you don’t care, you don’t get invested. And then it doesn’t hurt if things go to hell.”
“Yeah? So why didn’t I just stay away? Why did I even bother coming back to DC?”
“Because you either thought we’d do your dirty work for you and tell you to stay lost…or that we’d drill some common sense into you and convince you to stay where you belong. Here.”
Suddenly bone-tired and unwilling to argue anymore, Knox dropped to the nearby bench. “What makes you so sure this is where I belong?”
“Because it’s where your family is, asshole. And not to mention the woman you’re in love with.” Roman followed, sitting next to him, and stretched out his legs.
“I don’t think I ever said that I was in love with her.”
“And yet you knew exactly who I was talking about.” Roman smirked.
Knox’s chest constricted, unable to disagree. Despite their years apart, Roman could still read him like an open book. “It’s not that simple.”
“Seems pretty damn basic to me. Girl loves guy. Guy loves girl. Guy does something stupid to piss off girl. Guy gets his grovel on. It’s pretty universal from what I hear.”
“You didn’t see her face when she walked away.”
“No, but I got an earful about it from Cade and Grace.” Roman gave him a pointed look. “By the way, do yourself a favor and stay clear of both of them for a bit. After Gracie’s fourth call, I started believing she really did hex your man-bits.”
Knox released a deep sigh. “If I thought dropping to Zoey’s feet and groveling an apology would work, I would. But it won’t.”
“Not that alone, but it’s a start. If you’re lucky, it could pave the way for a hell of a lot more. But you’ll never know unless you take your head out of your ass.”
Knox shook his head, grinning. Love.
Roman me
ntioned it so casually, and despite not saying the word aloud, Knox knew it was true. He loved Zoey. He was in love with her. Yeah, he screwed up, and knowing him, it wouldn’t be the last time.
This thing with her had been different from the get-go. He’d known it the second he’d laid eyes on her in that alley, dressed head to toe in disposable coveralls. And every time since, without trying, she reminded him that he didn’t want to head off someplace where people wouldn’t give him a swift kick in the ass if he deserved it.
He wanted attitudes, not platitudes. He wanted daily arguments from his brothers, hexes from Grace, and one-glance guilt trips from his mother.
He wanted DC. Steele Ops. His family.
Zoey.
Because Roman was right. He loved her…with everything he had. “There’s one small problem with your plan.”
“And what’s that?”
“Even if Zoey forgives me for the Wilcox thing, we made an agreement to end things if it got too complicated. Falling in love with her would be the ultimate complication.”
Roman shrugged. “Agreements were meant to be adapted.”
“And if Zoey doesn’t want to adapt?”
“Guess you won’t know until you ask her.”
Zoey hadn’t known where she’d end up when she’d slid into Grace’s passenger side seat. Her only idea had been the community center where she could vent at least a few of the emotions burning through her chest. As much as Grace loathed physical exertion, she hadn’t said a word as she’d signed them up for the next available Zumba class.
With it now done, Zoey, desperate for fresh air instead of the center’s musty gym stench, fanned herself with a flyer. She hadn’t even pushed herself and she’d worked up a sweat.
“I’m going to get us waters before you continue the torture.” Grace lifted her heavy dark hair off her neck and crinkled her nose. “I can’t even stand my own smell right now.”
“That just means you were doing it right.” Zoey’s smile felt sadly hollow.
“Then I wish I’d done it wrong.” Grace rolled her eyes and disappeared around the corner in her quest to rehydrate.
She’d tried getting Zoey to talk about what happened, but she couldn’t do it. Every time she tried, her throat swelled.