“Shea,” he said, his fingers in my hair.
“I know I snap first and think logically later,” I said, pressing on as I pumped him in my hands. “I know I’m difficult and I have a dark past. I know I bring nothing but baggage to the table.”
“Baby—”
“My turn,” I said, cutting him off and wrapping my lips over the head of his cock, a little tease to get him focusing. Another growl. “When you told me you loved me,” I said before trailing the tip of my tongue along the length of him and back. “I froze. Not because I don’t feel the same, because I do, Hudson. I do. But because I don’t feel worthy of your love. You’re amazing.” I took him in my mouth again. “The taste of you is enough to claim me,” I said when I’d pulled him out again.
“But it’s more than that,” I continued. “You’re kind. And gentle. And powerful.” Each phrase I paired with another suck of that perfectly thick head inside my mouth. “I have nothing, nothing to give you—except drama. Bad press you don’t need.” I gripped the back of his ass and took his entire length in my mouth until there was nothing left of him, and I sucked and swirled and rocked my head back and forth, worshiping him in the way he’d done for me too many times to count. Savoring the taste of him, the feel of him.
His fingers tightened in my hair, and a low rumble came from his chest.
“My heart,” I said, pulling out, breathless from the size of him. “That’s all I have to give you, though you likely know it’s already yours.” I flicked my tongue over his head, the taste of warmth and salt melting the center of me. “I love you, Hudson. So damn much.” Without preamble or gentleness, I took him in, all the way again, and pumped and sucked as hard and as lovingly as I could. I needed him to know how real this was between us. How much I could never be afraid of him. How sorry I was for all the times I’d let my fear control my mouth before—let it fuel my heated words filled with spite, that were not meant for him but for me.
“Shea,” he growled my name and dug his fingers into my hair.
One second he filled my mouth so much my eyes watered.
And the next, he’d hefted me atop the marble island.
He nudged my knees apart, stepping between them, his warm, hard chest hitting between my thighs. His face, for once, was eye level with mine, thanks to the height of the island I now sat on.
“God damn, Shea,” he said, his forehead against mine as he caught his breath. “I love you,” he said, cupping my cheeks. “You’re everything. My everything. You’ve given me…everything.” He stilled before me, and I wrapped my legs around his back, holding him close as I never lost connection with his eyes.
The honesty in his words, the pure vulnerability in his eyes, wrenched something free inside me.
“I’m terrified of…” I licked my lips, needing the time to collect my racing thoughts. “Of losing you.”
“That will never happen.” His tone a breath, a promise.
I swallowed around a lump in my throat that could very well be my heart.
I’d laid myself so damn bare.
So exposed and raw.
He remained frozen before me, and a piece of me crumpled inside. “I know it’s too fast. I know I’ve spent years building walls to keep people out. To protect myself from this. But you…you didn’t even break my walls, Hudson. You didn’t shatter them or tear them down brick by brick. It’s like you simply fit. Slipped through the cracks—sinking into my heart while still keeping my foundations strong.”
His warm fingers slid behind my knees, cupping my legs.
“Fuck, Shea,” he said. “How do you exist?”
“What?” I breathed against him.
“You. The way you are. Your strength and your fierce passion and everything about you seems made for me.” He sighed. “I love you. I don’t care if I’m saying it too much. I have for a while. Even when I tried to deny it. Even when I remembered how badly love can hurt. But…I trust you. And that isn’t something I do lightly.”
“Me either.”
“Maybe that’s what makes you perfect for me and me perfect for you.”
Tears welled in my eyes, one traitorous sliver slipping free.
Hudson kissed it away, working down my neck, and stopped at my chest. Right where my blouse dipped modestly in a V. And, so tenderly I held my breath, he kissed right over my heart like he was placing a brand on it.
Claiming it with a promise.
To protect.
To defend.
To strengthen.
“Hudson,” I said, shuddering as if he’d kissed between my thighs. I reached for him, my fingers greedy as I trailed them over his spectacular abs, and lower, until I reached that still gloriously hard length of him. “You stopped me. Let me down. Let me take care of you.” I bit my bottom lip. “Let me make up for all the times I’ve snapped at you for being perfect.”
A smirk flashed across his lips before he captured my wrists in his hands. “I love that mouth of yours,” he said. “Don’t you dare apologize for being fierce. It’s why I fell for you.” He planted a kiss on my lips, fast and searing.
“Later,” he said, slowly, gently moving my wrists until they were above my head, and I was arching so much I could do nothing but lay down, my back against the cool marble. “For now,” he said, releasing my hands and slipping his fingers up my pencil skirt, hiking it up and up until it bunched around my stomach. “I’m hungry.”
The words, guttural and aching, melted my core completely.
He gripped my hips and tugged me until my ass was at the lip of the island, and then he pressed a kiss over the scrap of lace I had covering me.
“Red,” he said, a smile in his tone.
“I know you love red,” I said, sighing as I closed my eyes, the heat from his breath covering the apex of my thighs.
“I love you in any color,” he said, the vibrations from his deep voice awakening each cell in my body. “Almost as much as I love you bare.” He hooked those fingers into the lace and slid them down and over my pumps. A shuddered breath ripped from him, that warmth hitting my slightly swollen flesh.
Him.
This man.
He did this to me, to my body.
Made me ache in the deepest, most primal way.
“Fuck, Shea,” he growled. “You’re fucking beautiful. And wet.” He teased me with the tip of his tongue. “And delicious.”
Everything in me disappeared.
Ceased to be until I became nothing but sensation.
Nothing but his tongue expertly lapping, sliding, pumping.
Nothing but his lips as they grazed my clit, teasing, torturing.
I reached behind me, gripping the edge of the island, needing the support before I flew off this planet.
Hudson moaned against me, and I became that subtle tremor in his voice, that hungry growl as he devoured me. Became the sparks that tensed and flared and crackled with each stroke he delivered.
Unhinged.
The man…God, he was my undoing.
Years of being locked up tight—my heart, body, and soul.
Years of fortifying against a potential break.
And Hudson Porter had slipped through them like he’d always held the key.
Maybe he had.
He squeezed my ass with one hand and held down my writhing hips with another. I was no match for his strength, and yet I felt safe, worshipped, desirable.
“Hudson,” I groaned, bucking against his hold as he devoured me.
“Shea,” he said, mimicking me with a tease in his tone.
“Please,” I said, breathless. “God, I can’t take any more.”
“You can,” he said, moving the hand from my ass to my center, slipping two fingers into my warmth while his tongue continued flicking my clit. “You can handle this,” he said, emphasizing the word by rolling his fingers inside me in a come hither motion. “And this,” he said, laying his tongue flat against my clit. “And more,” he continued, taking that moment to raise himse
lf up just slightly, just enough for me to look down at him where he grinned between my thighs.
“Fuck.” I shuddered, every ounce of my being coiling like a tight spring.
The word on my lips made something red hot flare in his eyes, and he unleashed himself on me. Pumping those fingers once, twice, three times before he placed his lips on my clit and sucked.
I saw stars.
Splintering, shining sparks that danced across my vision as I bowed against him.
His name a scream.
My breath ragged.
My fingers aching from how hard I gripped the island.
I trembled against him as he saw me through one orgasm and right into another, until I was gasping and limp from the pleasure.
Slowly, sweetly, he kissed the interior of my thighs, slipping his fingers from my warmth as he raised to his full height once again.
And I could’ve wept from wanting him so badly.
But then he turned away from me, to do what I didn’t know or care.
“Don’t you dare leave,” I said, hooking my legs around him, my pumps digging into his bare back.
He growled, sliding his hands under me and hefting me off the island.
“Just looking for where I want to fuck you next.”
A moan rippled through me, and I shifted around him, the slickness between my thighs drenching his abs where he held me against him.
“Anywhere,” I demanded. “As long as it’s now.”
A wicked smirk shaped his lips as he slowed his walk through the penthouse. “Any requests?”
I quickly scanned the area, the layout suddenly new and ripe with possibilities now that we were here alone.
“There.” I pointed to one of his tall-backed, armless chairs that sat next to the unlit fireplace.
He cocked a brow at me but moved us toward it. “Kind of hard for me to fuck you there.”
I clenched my thighs. “But I can fuck you there.”
A tremor rolled through him, all of his defined muscles tensing and flexing underneath me.
He swallowed hard before turning us until he sat in the chair.
I shifted, widening my thighs so I could straddle him, my heeled feet on the floor for leverage.
“Please,” I said, swiping my tongue over his lips. “Let me take care of you for once.”
A growl rumbled his chest as I teased him with my wetness, rolling my hips to allow him to slide in an inch before moving back out. Quickly, I stood and shimmied out of the now wrinkled pencil skirt, leaving it and my blouse a rumpled mess on the floor. Then, I unclasped my lace bra and let it join the pile.
Completely bare.
That’s what I wanted to be with him.
The muscles under his smooth skin grew taut and strained as he gripped my hips when I settled back over him, his length hard as the marble he’d just feasted me on. He dipped his head as I rocked against him, teasing, torturing as he’d done for me. My breasts were full and heavy as he kissed them, flicked his tongue over my pert nipple, before taking it between his teeth.
A gasp tore from my lips from the bite of pain, and he laughed against my breasts as he smoothed the hurt with his tongue.
I gripped the back of his neck, forcing his lips up to mine, and claimed his mouth, the position above him fueling my possession over this giant man. It didn’t matter how small I was compared to him, how in a blink he could have me on my back. I was in control, and he was mine.
I tucked his bottom lip between my teeth, scraping his flesh until he hissed.
“God damn, Shea,” he groaned against my mouth.
The desire in his words, the hunger, they soared right down the center of me.
I moved my hands between us, gripping his considerable length with both hands. He was slick with me, and I gently twisted and spiraled and rolled him between my hands. His massive thighs flexing underneath me as he arched his head back.
And when his hands on my hips tightened so much they bit my skin, I guided him to the center of me, and sank, agonizingly slow, on top of him.
Sank until he was seated to the hilt.
His head snapped up, his eyes locking with mine.
Chest to chest.
Nose to nose.
Completely, utterly connected.
My heart skipped and stuttered.
And once I’d adjusted to the size of him, I moved on him.
Back and forth.
Up and down.
Each trip his hard length stoking the flames that curled inside me.
Faster.
Harder.
I dug my fingers into his shoulder and rode him, giving up my control entirely to the primal instincts that had me writhing and rocking like a wild woman against him.
I arched backward, letting go of his shoulders, the angle sending shocks of electricity down my spine. Knowing without a doubt as I kept arching that he’d hold on to me, wouldn’t let me fall as I rocked against him and the deeper angle hit a spot deep within me that I was certain had his name branded upon it.
One hand held onto me as I moved, relentless in my need for him, and his other slid down the center of my breasts, over my stomach, and lower. Until his fingers found their way between us and teased.
I drew myself back up, our foreheads practically touching, and just as he pushed against me with his hand, I slammed down on top of his length.
Again and again.
Until I shattered around him.
“Hudson!” I screamed, unable to contain his name between my lips.
His hand shifted back to my hips, hefting me up and down, my body limp from the throes of the who-knew-what-number orgasm. Harder, faster, he lifted and lowered me, until I coiled again.
Until he hardened within me to the nth degree.
Until he growled and pleasure barreled down my spine when I felt his release spill inside me.
His grip loosened, his forehead dropping against my shoulder as we sat there, connected in both ragged breath and body.
And when he stood, holding me against him until we’d made it to the bathroom, where he so painstakingly and gently cleaned us both up, I knew everything I’d ever been afraid of had come true.
I loved this man more than I knew possible.
And I knew I’d never come back from it.
Chapter 17
Hudson
“You have to come out!” Gentry yelled at the glass from where we stood at the top of the bleachers. The kid in goal looked from his coach to his parents and back to Gentry. “Come out! Then back in!”
I shook my head.
Elliott’s team was down two in the second period, and it wasn’t looking good.
“Hey! Don’t let him take that! Turn your body!” Connor added toward the wing who was currently fighting to get the puck into the opposing zone.
“Watch the pass! Watch it! Look! There you go! Good look!” Noble cupped his hands around his mouth as he shouted.
I started to laugh when even the refs were looking our direction. This rink on the outskirts of the city had the bleachers a full level above the ice, which meant our voices carried well across the ice.
“Sit down!” Ivy hissed, tugging at Connor’s leg.
“What? They should take advantage of our expertise.” He hefted Hannah up into his arms, pointing to where Elliott waited for her shift.
“Longer strides! Skate!” Lukas shouted toward their forward. “Porter, why the fuck aren’t we coaching these kids? Those guys don’t know shit about hockey,” he snapped at me as his eyes flickered to where Faith sat with her boyfriend and Pepper.
“One, I don’t think we’re nearly dependable enough to be anyone’s coaches during the season. Do you?” I asked. “I’ve already missed four of her games due to our own away games.”
“Good point.” He shrugged, but his eyes darted down to where Faith was laughing at something her boyfriend said.
“Second,” I stepped closer to him and dropped the level of my voice so Gentry wouldn’t
hear. “Stop taking your frustration with Faith out on everyone around you.”
He scoffed, but that same anger flashed in his eyes when Faith put her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder.
“The good ones don’t come easy,” I said softly.
“Everyone comes easily,” he countered. “Almost everyone.”
I had to feel a little bad for the guy. It sucked to want someone who didn’t want you, and something told me he’d never been through that before.
“Here she is!” Shea stood up as Elliott’s shift started.
“Good form,” Connor complimented.
“We’ve been working on it,” I answered.
Puck dropped, and the action began.
“Dude, he’s offsides!” Connor yelled as the ref missed a call.
“He’s nine, Connor,” Faith called back.
“Never too young to know the rules,” he countered, setting Hannah down.
“Edge him out! Take away his space!” Lukas shouted. “Good girl! Take him out!”
A group of the opposing team’s parents all craned their necks to look at us.
“Sorry,” I told them, “he forgets that checking doesn’t start for a few more years.” I aimed that last part at Lukas.
Lukas shrugged. “Still would have worked.”
Elliott passed to the Vance kid, who shot and scored.
All of the Sharks jumped up, yelling.
“Little playmaker you got there!” Gentry called over, nudging Shea.
She grinned, which lit up her entire face. “That, she gets from Hudson.” She leaned up and kissed my cheek.
It was the lightest I’d seen her in weeks. Todd’s reappearance, the security, the sessions we’d had with our lawyer, it was all wearing on her.
“Your first name is Hudson?” Noble asked, his brows drawn together.
“Yeah.”
“Like the river?” he prodded.
“I guess? What did you think it was?”
“Porter, I guess.” He shrugged.
“Porter Porter?” Shea started laughing.
“You guys are hilarious.” I gave them both a little side eye and went back to watching my girl.
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