by Mallory Hill
Unable to respond, I let her wipe up the rest of my face. I knew it was wrong, but a little part of me was relieved I wouldn’t be facing my fate alone. She took my hand and mustered a genuine, albeit nervous, smile.
“Shall we?” she asked, every bit as aware as I was of our onlookers’ growing impatience.
Hand in hand, we stepped into the tunnel. The whole thing felt so familiar. Being in the tunnel with Mom, preparing for my inevitable death, wishing I could simply evaporate and spare everyone the trouble of this big ordeal. It was like the first time all over again. I could almost feel the distant rumble of a train coming in, and my stomach knotted up at the memory.
Except, I could feel the train. And before long I could see it too; just two lights at the end of the track, but it was there. And it was coming.
Chapter 37
<<<
Mom and I were almost crushed we were so completely in shock. But eventually, we cleared the track, leaving the tunnel and returning to the startled group of officers and councilors. We collectively watched the train screech to a halt in front of us, everyone holding their breath.
I didn’t understand. Why would the leaders send a train all of a sudden? Were they simply resuming business as usual, or had the news of my arrest been enough to warrant a personal escort out of the city. Mom held me tightly as the doors slid open.
Out rushed Kyle Baily looking as flushed and flustered as I’d ever seen him. Instinctively, I ran to him, thinking something must have been wrong; there must have been trouble with the plan or with Will or something. He grabbed me and didn’t let go for a long time.
“Thank God!” he breathed, still crushing me in his arms. “You’re okay.”
I managed to break free and look at him. “Yeah, I’m fine. What are you doing here? What’s happening?”
Over his shoulder, I saw several other leaders exit the train. The officers and councilors watched in awe. This was definitive proof of what lay beyond. They couldn’t fight it now if they tried.
“We got a report they were discharging you today,” Dad said, still in a panic. “I thought with the trains closed they might… But you’re okay?”
I nodded. “I’m fine. Though I have been sentenced to walking the tunnel. What have you been doing? Why was I arrested?”
“It’s complicated. Once we heard what was happening here, the rioting and everything, we had to shut down the trains to maintain order while we reached a decision. I ordered your arrest so you’d be safe. I knew if you were in custody, the officers would be obligated to protect you. I assumed they’d wait until we had the trains running again before discharging you, but then we got the report. I didn’t know what to think.” He shook his head and laughed a little at how worked up he’d gotten. His eyes were brimming over, but he finally smiled. “But I’m here now. And we’re going to figure this out. I promise.”
He pulled me close again, and I let myself break, relief bubbling out of me in a strange mixture of laughter and tears. I wanted to hold him forever, keep him there in the world of the living and never let go for as long as I lived. But that wasn’t really possible. I had to share him now.
Mom’s voice was smaller than I’d ever imagined possible, but the moment Dad and I separated, she spoke. Just a single, whispered word, soft like a dream and just as wistful. “Kyle?”
He turned to her, and for a long moment they simply looked at each other. I watched the rest of the world fading away in both of their eyes. Everything dissolved. Eight lost, lonely years melted away into the ether just like that.
“Jane,” he answered. That was all. That single syllable somehow conveyed everything he needed to say.
They fell into each other. For maybe the first time ever, Mom ugly cried. Snorting, gasping, the works. Dad tried to console her, though he was every bit as much a mess as she was. It was so beautiful. A little weird for me, admittedly, but there was no denying they loved each other more than the world.
I wanted that to be enough. I could almost feel the two broken halves of something inside of me trying to force their way back together. But the pieces didn’t fit. The damage was done.
While we were having our little family reunion, the others had already begun engaging in a power clash of sorts. We pulled ourselves together and rushed into the fray. I had a very limited understanding of what either party was really after, but I knew they’d be quick to clear it up for me.
“It isn’t fair,” one of the leaders declared, presumably in response to something the councilors had said. “We work just as hard as anyone in the city, yet we’re forced to live like noncontributors.”
“The so called ‘noncontributors’ work just as hard as anyone in the city,” another leader added. “Often harder. We deserve to live as equals. It’s high time we came home, and the citizenry seems to agree.”
I was totally shocked. If they were so adamant about this, why had it taken literally everything left within me to get to this point?
“What happened after I left?” I asked Dad quietly enough that it didn’t disturb the ongoing argument.
“Once you got the word out, we had to act fast. We had to decide if coming clean was really for the best or if we could get away with covering up the rumors somehow. Then that boyfriend of yours suggested taking a field trip. We saw how people lived, what they had to go through just to survive. And, of course, all of us were at some point torn away from people we cared about. We had to stop thinking like Terminal B and start being ourselves again. After that, the choice became clear.”
So the leaders were on my side. Slowly but surely, my support was growing. It wasn’t just my mom and a handful of rebellious citizens anymore. We had power now. We had an army.
“It’ll only cause trouble,” a particularly sour-faced councilor protested. “Look at what we’ve already seen. It’s only a matter of time before violence breaks out. You really want to be responsible for endangering the public?”
Mom was still holding tightly to both me and Dad, but she dared to speak out. “They’ll only become violent if we continue to lie to them, Charlene. If you want peace, give the people what they want.”
“The people don’t know what they want. That’s why they have us. We were elected to guide them and protect them from themselves. We cannot in good faith introduce such unprecedented chaos into the city. We have to do our job, Jane.” She sneered condescendingly, and I realized the other councilors didn’t have much respect for my pretty, artsy mother.
Dad got instantly defensive, stepping up to Charlene, ready to give her one of those “don’t you talk to my wife like that” speeches. But before things got too personal, another one of the leaders, Mr. Mills, intervened.
“Well, I hate to pull rank,” he said, “but we are in charge of the community at large. Our authority trumps yours. But if you’d still prefer we go, perhaps we should withdraw more completely. Tell your people that anyone willing to work is welcome in Terminal B. As for the rest of you, well, I hope you enjoy life without industry or agriculture.”
It was a threat if I’d ever heard one, but Mr. Mills smiled in his jolly, self-satisfied way. They couldn’t argue with that even if they wanted to. Terminal B was invaluable to the city. Whether they liked it or not, they couldn’t function without us.
Reluctantly, the councilors grumbled their acceptance. Everyone was introduced to their career specific counterparts, and the next step was informing the people before commencing a massive redesign of the infrastructure. Everything became very technical from there on out, and I found myself at a loss for what I was supposed to do now.
We all left the terminal eventually to start calling meetings with our community members. Mom and Dad and I made our way home to regroup before facing the artists.
“So this is it?” I asked, still amazed at how things had worked out.
Dad smiled. “It’s far from
over, Princess. We’ll have to get everyone registered correctly in the city records, reconfigure the credit system, issue ID cards, install scanners, adjust the train schedules. It’ll be months before we see people reuniting and years before we can even think of tearing down the wall. But it’s started. And we’re going to see it through to the end.”
He pulled me in and kissed my forehead and then did the same with Mom. It was so strange seeing them together like that after all this time. Strange yet absolutely perfect. I felt a little prickle of something in my heart, a touch of jealousy and a pinch of longing.
“How’s Will?” I asked as casually as I could manage.
“He’s just fine. We’re holding all the prisoners in an apartment complex, and we’re on back-up power for the time being. Cases are being reviewed to separate felonies from misdemeanors and adjust sentences accordingly. Will’s still at the office. He seems to have some ideas of his own for the prison system, so we’ll hear him out.”
That was incredible. Really, just impossible. I felt like at any moment I was going to open my eyes and be back in the dark, rigid world I’d grown accustomed to.
“He really convinced you? He got the leaders on board?”
Dad nodded. “He’s a good kid. He knows how to make people find their humanity.”
He certainly did. I smiled and tried to thank him across all the unfortunate distance between us. Part of me wished Dad had thought to bring him along, but I knew I couldn’t be greedy. I had my parents, my life, and my revolution. I could wait a while to have my boyfriend too.
Naturally, the artists were thrilled to hear that their voices and images and excessively dramatic stories had proven successful. And as much as they loved Mom, the reintroduction of King Kyle to the arts community was a celebration that blew all others out of the water. It was a day of joy, the first they’d seen since I’d come and shaken things up. I guess it was nice to watch. But watch was really all I did.
If it seems like I was kind of bummed out, that’s understandable. I mean, I loved my parents and I loved that they loved each other. I was radically relieved to have all this over with too. But my part of the fight had reached its end. Which meant I was now nothing more than Laura Baily, the girl without a stable calling.
How had I not learned anything from this messy experience? How had I not miraculously found my way along the path to deliverance? People don’t just go on epic journeys and take nothing away from them.
I guess I’d learned I wasn’t extremely useless in certain circumstances. I’d learned I could fall in love in a split second. I’d learned if I had to watch people suffer I’d throw a fit about it until I got my way. I was obnoxious, overbearing, stubborn, sarcastic, rude, callous, shallow, self-absorbed—
Wow, that took a turn. Those weren’t exactly hero qualities. But whoever said I was a hero? I was just someone so beaten I was hardly myself anymore. Someone who could take a risk only because I had nothing to lose.
Dad stayed with us that night and I woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee. I came downstairs to see him and Mom sneaking glances at each other like a couple of lovestruck teenagers.
“Kid in the room. Keep it PG,” I announced as I got my breakfast together.
“I’m sorry, how old are you?” Mom asked.
“I will never be old enough for thinking of you two romantically not to be weird.”
Dad took Mom’s hand. “We weren’t always your parents,” he said. “We were young once upon a time.” He kissed her hand and she giggled.
“It’s not the age that matters, it’s the relation. You guys would be weirded out if I was all mushy for someone at the kitchen table.”
“Speaking of which, when do I get to meet Will?” Mom asked, making me blush.
“It’ll be a while,” Dad said. “But the very minute he’s able, he’ll be here. He asks about you every day, honey. ‘Have you heard from her yet? Have you heard from her yet?’ Kid’s going out of his mind.”
That was both incredibly cute and a little heartbreaking. I wished I could just bring him home already.
“He is trapped,” I said. “There’s probably not a whole lot going on to take his mind off it.”
Dad nodded. “So I think you should write to him. I have to go back today, but I’ll be checking in at least once a week until everything’s worked out. I’d be happy to deliver letters back and forth.”
I was not good at writing. Half of what I said was buried in a thick layer of body language and sarcasm. I wasn’t descriptive or poetic or romantic or even that nice. But I knew Will wouldn’t care so long as I was thinking about him.
“That would be great.”
“Good. Because I need something in return.”
We were related all right. “Of course you do.”
He smiled. “We want to start a support center. A lot of families will be broken and confused, so we need a way to ease them back into a comfortable life. Eventually, we’ll have former prisoners and suicides coming too, so I figured maybe you’d like to help.”
I could have died. “You want me to lead a support group?”
He sensed my discomfort. “I want you to help people who are troubled. So many people already look up to you. You chose to tackle this thing. I say why not see it through?”
He had a point unfortunately. “I guess I’ll consider it.”
“All right. Well, get me a letter and I’ll have to be on my way.”
My letter was dumb. Just a bunch of rambling about how much I missed him and how everything was good on my end.
We communicated that way for a while. He was just so much cuter than me. I’d read a single sentence and fall in love with him all over again. Eventually, I got comfortable enough with our system to get into the deeper stuff. How I still needed more, how I felt guilty for leading a support group when I’d up and killed myself, how I sometimes cried at night when I missed him too much. And he’d always answer perfectly, knowing exactly what I needed to hear.
But words could only convey so much. I ached to have him there with me. I wanted him to hold me and never let go so there’d at least be one place I knew I belonged. I loved that boy with all my broken heart. But he was a world away.
Chapter 38
<<<
A year. That’s how long total reconstruction took. Identification cards had to be processed for every single person, which took months. Then scanners had to be installed, which took more months. We lost some work time to the prison reconstruction too. Then there were endless training seminars and adjustment classes, and literally hundreds of people came to my support center.
Surprisingly enough, Grant and Mimi were brought over to help me. The patients all thought their story was a huge inspiration, and it took some of the pressure off me to actually have a success story to reference.
Dad was in and out all the time. As the train system improved, he started spending more and more nights with us even if he had to be in Terminal B during the day. He and Mom were basically having a second honeymoon, so I really needed to get my own place.
But I was okay. I had something to occupy my time, good people in my life. I was no longer at immediate risk, and that was quite an achievement. Part of my support group lesson was learning to appreciate the little things. Life was moments, little fleeting seconds of light that you could miss if you blinked. I didn’t totally buy into that, but it was a nice theory.
Grant was finishing up a lecture about being tolerant when dealing with people who’d gone to the other side. They weren’t back yet, and the date for their return was yet to be determined, but we knew it was coming.
“You can’t expect them to be the same,” he said. “They went into it thinking they were dying. That changes a person. You have to respond with love, but allow them their space. When the time is right, they’ll come to you.”
I saw Dad c
ome in at the back of the room and discreetly excused myself.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Are you busy?”
“We’re pretty much done.”
“In that case, we’ve selected a new law enforcement supervisor to make sure the new regulations are followed. I thought maybe you’d like to meet him, talk about getting Will back with a clean record.”
Recently, just the sound of Will’s name gave me butterflies. We’d been apart longer than we’d been together, but his letters were getting more and more gorgeous.
I nodded. “Sure. He’s at the station?”
“Right. Do you want me to go with you?”
I knew he was just dying to get home and stare at Mom. “No, I’ll be okay. See you at home.”
I practiced my good attitude on the way to the station. I was a loving, perfect girlfriend, not a suicidal maniac. I was concerned about my boyfriend’s well-being, not the girl who’d shut down the entire government. This guy would be so impressed by my behavior that he’d hand Will over to me in a matter of days. You know, if I could pull it off.
The officers and I were very well acquainted by this point. Though they’d arrested me and nearly gotten me killed, there was no underlying animosity between us. I’d decided it was for the best that I just forgive and forget everything about that awful day. After all, they’d only done their duty. I couldn’t blame them for that.
The guy at the desk greeted me. “How can I help you, Miss Baily?”
“I’m here to see the new supervisor.”
He nodded. “Right down the hall, last door.”
I couldn’t help glancing around the station on my way to the supervisor’s office. There was my old cell in the corner. And I was certain someone had pinned my mug shot up on that bulletin board somewhere just for kicks. I was an ex-felon, me in my skirt and business casual heels. I just couldn’t get over how weird that was.
I smoothed myself out one last time, trying my best to let go of the past. I was a sweet volunteer at the support center. I was innocence itself. I knocked on the supervisor’s door.