by Harley Wylde
I ran a hand through my hair. “Nik, what’s going on? I know you miss Bane, and I’m sorry as fuck we didn’t get there in time to save him, to keep you from getting hurt, but this is nuts. You have a kid to think about. How are you going to keep your apartment?”
She blew out a breath and looked up at me. “I’m not. I didn’t know how to tell Renegade, or anyone else.”
What. The. Fuck. “Start talking, Nik. Now, dammit.”
“I’m being evicted. I drained my savings to keep the utilities on and food in the fridge, when you weren’t buying my groceries that is, but I didn’t have enough for everything. I haven’t paid rent in two months.”
“When do you have to be out?”
“In three days.”
Jesus fucking Christ. This woman was going to be the death of me.
“We have to tell your brother.”
“No!” She shook her head so hard I worried she’d snap her neck. “He has enough on his plate.”
“Dammit, Nik! I’m not going to let you be homeless. I’m an asshole, but I’m not that big an asshole.” I knew I was going to regret this. “Come stay with me.”
She blinked at me, but didn’t say no. It was a start. I got her into the car and knew I had less than three days to convince her, and get all her shit packed up and moved. But it wasn’t just her. She had to think about baby Oliver. One way or another, I’d get her to the compound. I only hoped all hell didn’t break loose when Renegade found out his baby sister was in my house.
I was a dead man.
Chapter Two
Nikki
I’d packed my things and Ashes had shoved them into the back of my SUV. At least, the essentials. A truck would have to pick up my furniture and other belongings, not that I had any idea where I’d put any of it. As of right now, I was homeless. Ashes had insisted I follow him to the compound, or more specifically his house. I should have known when the Prospect at the gate’s jaw dropped that he’d go blabbing to my brother. It hadn’t taken Renegade long at all to show up.
“Why the fuck is my sister in your house?” he demanded, shoving Ashes against the living room wall.
“Someone needs to look out for her. You obviously aren’t,” Ashes said, his jaw tight and his eyes narrowed.
“What does that mean?” my brother asked, his voice a near growl.
I bit my lip and stared hard at Ashes, willing him to keep my secret. I’d known it would be in vain. He might be helping me, but he had a bond with Renegade that surpassed whatever friendship we might have. Although I often wondered if he was only helping me out of guilt. He’d apologized several times for his cousin’s part in what happened, but I didn’t blame Ashes in the least.
“She’s homeless, you ass,” Ashes said.
Renegade backed up and turned to face me. “What? Why didn’t you tell me you needed help?”
Ashes cast a glare his way and opened his mouth, but I held up a hand. I knew he was about to defend me, but it wasn’t necessary. Renegade might be a bit overwhelming at times, but I knew how to handle him. My big brother meant well, but he’d been a bit preoccupied lately, and I understood. Darby and Fawn -- and their unborn child -- were his entire world at the moment, and that was exactly as it should be. I didn’t fault him for it in the least. “You’ve have a lot on your plate,” I said. “I’m a grown woman, Renegade. I don’t need you swooping in to save me all the time.”
He folded his arms over his chest and looked down his nose at me. I already knew what he was thinking. The fact I was homeless proved I wasn’t doing so great in the adulting department, but losing Bane, watching those men beat him to death, had taken a toll on me. We hadn’t been close, our relationship having barely even started, but the brutality of it all still haunted me. Add in pregnancy hormones and I was a big, hot mess.
“It’s fine. Really. Ashes is going to let me crash here for a little while…”
I couldn’t even finish my sentence before my big brother was shaking his head. “No, you aren’t going to stay here. Do you really think I’d let you stay with a womanizing asshole like this one? Fuck no! If you don’t want to stay at my place, then I’ll help you get settled somewhere else.”
Ashes looked away, but not before I saw the flash of anger and hurt in his eyes. He’d been so sweet to me, so thoughtful, and my brother was treating him poorly. I didn’t like it, but saying something would just make things worse. Renegade saw a different side of Ashes than I had. The man was single, so what did it matter if he was a bit of a man-whore? It wasn’t like the other guys at the club were any better. I knew my dear brother had been cut from that same cloth until he’d met Darby. Even Bane… No, I didn’t want to think about Bane. Not right now.
“I didn’t want to be any trouble,” I said.
“Nikki, you’re my sister. If you need help, say something. I thought you were doing fine.”
I pressed my lips together. I hadn’t been fine since he’d found me tied to that chair. Telling him that wouldn’t go over well. My brother had been in his own world and had barely given me a second thought. The few times I’d seen him, I’d held it together until he’d left. It wasn’t like he stuck around for long. Ashes had seen me at my worst the last few months. He was the only one who knew that I’d been falling apart. “Ashes has been checking on me,” I said.
Renegade cast another glare toward the man who had made sure I stayed alive, and I didn’t like it. Moving closer to my brother, I hauled back my arm and punched him in the abdomen. He didn’t even flinch, but he did growl at me. “What the fuck, Nikki?”
“That man has made sure I eat, make it to my appointments, and he’s even cleaned my damn apartment. You have no right to look at him like that.”
My brother’s face flushed and I knew he was about to erupt. I just didn’t understand why. Ashes had been so wonderful. It wasn’t like the man was interested in me that way. He just felt guilty. Who would ever want a broken woman like me? Some part of me had shattered that day. I hadn’t loved Bane. We’d barely known one another, except in the intimate sense. My heart wasn’t broken. It was more the trauma of watching him die, and knowing that I carried his son. A baby boy who would never know his daddy.
“You have a choice, Nikki,” my brother said. “You can either come with me and I’ll figure something out, or you can stay here. But if you remain in Ashes’ house, you’d better make damn certain this is where you want to be.”
My brow furrowed as I looked up at him. “What’s that mean?”
“It means his ass better claim you if you’re going to live here.”
My mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe he’d just said that. There was no way I would ever put Ashes in that position, not after all he’d done for me. The fact my brother could even say such a thing made me angry. Who died and made him God? He might be part of the Devil’s Boneyard MC, even claim an officer’s position, but still… he wasn’t the boss of me. I shouldn’t have to answer to him.
“You know, you left me in foster care after our parents and brother died. If you didn’t get a say then over where I slept, you don’t get one now.”
He rocked back on his heels and paled a little. “Damn, Nikki. That was harsh.”
Ashes moved closer, slowly reaching for me. I felt his fingers brush my hip before he slid his arm around my waist. I trembled and pressed against him. It felt like my heart was crashing against my chest, and it was getting hard to breathe. Everything started to spin a little.
“When did you eat last?” he asked.
I shrugged a shoulder, honestly not knowing. Probably whenever he’d fed me last. I knew I needed to do better, for the sake of the baby at least. Food just hadn’t been all that appealing lately. Things were different, though. I’d seen little Oliver. He wasn’t just some random baby kicking me. Watching him on the screen had changed things. I knew I couldn’t keep wallowing. There was a kid depending on me, and I needed to make sure he had a place to live and got the nutrients he needed as
long as he was in my belly.
Renegade eyed us. “You’ve really been taking care of my sister all this time?”
“Yeah, I have,” Ashes said. “You had your hands full and I was happy to help her. She doesn’t always remember to eat, or when her appointments are. I’ve been making sure she has food in the kitchen and eats something while I’m there.”
Renegade blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. “Shit. I don’t like this. Not one fucking bit.”
I didn’t want to stress him out, not after everything he’d been through. I just needed him to understand that it wasn’t his decision where I stayed. Maybe I was on club property, but I was still my own person, the ruler over my own fate. “You’re my brother and I love you, but you don’t get a say in my life. You have a pregnant woman and a kid at home who need you more than I do. Go home to them.” The room spun a little and Ashes swept me up into his arms. I clung to him, not having much choice to do anything else. “I’ll be fine here.”
He paced a moment before coming to a stop a mere foot away. Hands on his hips, he looked like he was about to argue, but he simply nodded. “All right,” he said. “But the Pres needs to approve it, and Ashes damn well knows it.”
“I’ll handle it,” Ashes said.
“See that you do.” My brother gave me one last look before walking out and slamming the front door behind him.
I sighed and pressed my cheek against Ashes. “Well, that went about as well as I’d expected it to. At least he left without tearing shit up.”
Ashes snorted. “Yeah, like my face.”
Maybe it was wrong, but I giggled. He probably should be worried about something like that. My brother had always hit first and asked questions later. Not with women, but men were fair game. I didn’t delude myself into thinking my brother was Prince Charming, but I did know he’d never abuse a woman or kid. It just wasn’t who he was, and I could tell Ashes was the same.
No one had ever been as sweet to me. Part of me just wished that he was doing it for a reason other than guilt. It hardly seemed fair that the first time a decent guy paid me attention it was because his cousin was responsible for getting me beat to hell and killing my baby daddy. Maybe one day a man would look at me and want to keep me. I’d read enough fairy tales growing up that I wanted my own prince, my happily-ever-after. Didn’t matter to me if he wore leather and rode a Harley or if he dressed in suits and worked a nine-to-five job. All I cared about was how he treated me and if he loved me. My brother cared, I knew he did, but he hardly ever said the words. I craved someone’s love, but I started to worry I’d never have it, especially with a baby on the way. Yeah, my kid would hopefully love me, but it wasn’t the same thing.
“Think you can sit at the kitchen table?” he asked.
“I’m pregnant, not broken,” I said then winced because in a way I was broken. Just not in the sense that I couldn’t sit up on my own. “I’m sorry if me being here is going to cause you problems. If the club has an issue with it, I can find somewhere else to go.”
“Let me worry about that.”
He carried me into the kitchen and eased me down onto a wooden chair. It was the first time I’d been to Ashes’ house and I couldn’t help but be a little curious. The living room hadn’t been what I’d expected. Oh, the leather couches and not a single personal touch just screamed bachelor, but the walls had been a soft, tranquil green. I’d expected nearly every room to be what I called builder’s beige, that wretched neutral tone contractors used because it was so cheap.
The kitchen walls were a blue gray and the cabinets were white. His table even matched, being white with a light pine-colored butcher block top, and all four chairs were also white. A towel was tossed next to the stove and I could tell from the checkered pattern he’d likely just grabbed it and tossed it into his shopping cart. It didn’t look even remotely like something Ashes would choose. Although, to be honest, I was amazed he even had kitchen towels. It was my experience that most single guys didn’t unless they were a little more in touch with their feminine side.
“My brother isn’t really going to make you claim me, is he?” I asked.
Ashes tensed, but his back was to me and I couldn’t see his expression. I knew he didn’t think of me like that, but it hurt my pride a little. Would being with me be so horrible? Maybe he just didn’t want a kid who didn’t belong to him. Couldn’t blame him. I had no doubt that finding a decent guy would be a challenge. I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship at the moment, at least not with just anyone. If I thought I had even a chance with Ashes, then I’d jump in with both feet.
“Your brother is the Road Captain, but no… he can’t make me claim you.”
I chewed on my lower lip. “He can’t, but someone here can, right? Like Cinder or Scratch?”
He didn’t answer, which told me plenty.
Losing my apartment, and seeing my baby for the first time, had been a wake-up call. No matter what happened now, I needed to focus on little Oliver, and make sure I stayed healthy and provided a safe home for him. If Ashes would just give me a few days, then I’d figure something out. There had to be a job somewhere in town I could get to at least give me enough money for another place to stay. Or maybe I could convince Cinder and Scratch to let me have a small home here at the compound, at least until after Oliver arrived. Ashes had been right. I was safer here, where I had people to help if I needed it.
Even though it was far from morning, Ashes made eggs with biscuits and bacon. He placed a plate in front of me and I picked up the pepper shaker from the center of the table, adding a bit to the eggs. Then I pulled my biscuits open, broke up the bacon, and made bacon sandwiches out of them. He gave me a slight smile as he sat across from me, his plate nearly overflowing with food. I didn’t know where he put it since I didn’t see an ounce of fat on him. Lucky bastard. I so much as looked at food and gained weight. “Thank you.”
“You need to eat more,” he said before shoving a bite of egg into his mouth.
“Not what I meant, but I appreciate the food too. You’ve been watching over me for months and I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful. It’s been hard, but seeing Oliver… I think I’m ready to move forward. I need to focus on my baby and get my life back on track.”
Ashes gave me a nod.
“I can help unload the car after we finish eating.” My cheeks flushed since I’d just assumed he was going to do it. Maybe he’d planned for me to all along? But no, not with the way he’d handled me so carefully the last few months.
“I don’t have the guest room set up just yet. I’ll get it done before tonight, though. If you want to rest until then, you can use my bed. Sheets are clean. Just changed them this morning before I headed over to your place.”
I pushed my eggs around. I didn’t want him to think he had to stay glued to me. Just because I was in his house, it didn’t mean I intended for him to be my shadow. As a single guy, and one in the MC at that, I knew he had his choice of women and probably had a different one every night. Would having me in his house make him feel like he couldn’t party with the guys like he typically did?
I was starting to second-guess coming with him. I’d known my brother wouldn’t handle it well, and I had no idea what the others would think. Even worse, I didn’t know what Ashes was thinking or feeling. He was probably just being nice and giving me a place to crash for a bit, but what would he expect in return? With me being six months pregnant, I seriously doubted he’d want sex from me. Maybe I could clean a little, even though from what I’d seen, his home was spotless.
“Nik, you’re thinking too hard. What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Maybe me being here isn’t such a great idea,” I said.
“Is this about the bedroom? Because I can have it set up in the next hour or two.” He watched me carefully. “Or is this about what your brother said? Don’t worry about it, okay? He’s just pissed that he didn’t realize you needed help.”
“It’s
not just that. What am I supposed to do here, Ashes?”
He set his fork down and pushed his chair back. I watched as he came around the table and hunkered down next to me, taking my hand in his rougher one. Was it wrong his touch made me shiver? It made me wonder what his hands would feel like touching the rest of me.
“The only thing I want you to do is rest, get plenty to eat, and take care of yourself and Oliver. Needing help doesn’t make you weak, Nikki. It just makes you human. I don’t mind being the one to give you shelter, to lend a hand.”
My lips twisted in a grimace. “Because you feel guilty.”
He nodded before holding my gaze. “It started out that way, partially. Honestly, I’ve always admired you. I think you’re a sweet, beautiful woman and getting to be your knight in shining armor isn’t exactly a tough gig to handle. Spending time with you is payment enough if that’s what’s worrying you.”
“You almost make it sound like you’d date me.” I gave a humorless laugh, but it died quickly at the look in his eyes. He wouldn’t, would he? Was that what he’d meant when he said he’d admired me? Had Ashes wanted to date me at some point and my big brother had warned him away? It seemed like the type of thing Renegade would do. He hadn’t wanted me near the club, only inviting me over in emergencies or for the rare special occasion.
“Any guy would be lucky to have you, Nikki. Your brother will never permit a biker to claim you. What he said earlier, he was bluffing, hoping to get me to send you away, or make you leave with him on your own. If he’d known about Bane, the two of you would have never been in that warehouse. He’d have lost his shit at the mere thought of some Prospect daring to touch you. When you’re ready to stand on your own two feet again, then you’ll find the right guy. I just hope he’s worthy of you.”
Chapter Three
Ashes
After a mostly sleepless night, the last thing I wanted to hear was my damn phone going off. I cracked open an eye and groaned at the too bright light. I slammed my hand down on the nightstand, then felt around until I could grab the phone. My blurry vision couldn’t make out the caller name on the display, and at the risk of pissing off the wrong person, I muted the call and rolled back over. My fucking bed smelled like Nikki, which was my own damn fault. I’d been late putting the spare room together so she’d crashed in my bed for a nap. Now her scent covered my pillows and blankets. I could have changed them, but I guess I was a masochistic fucker because I couldn’t bring myself to do it.