“Yeah,” he says.
And then, he kisses me as I walk out the door, letting his hand fall from my waist at the last possible second.
When I get to the dorm, it’s dinner time, but I don’t go to the dining hall. I’m not very hungry, and I still feel somewhat weak after my shower.
The only one in the room is Mar. They must have moved the unconscious ones to the medical compound. That means Shawn too. His cot is hauntingly empty.
Mar is sitting on her cot, reading through the General Timothy correspondences. I notice that her armband has a 4 on it, but I don’t mention it. I just sit down on my cot beside her.
“Do you ever wonder… what this guy went through to get this place started?” she says, still looking at the papers scattered on her cot.
Her voice sounds different, and her hair has been cut since I saw her at lunch. It’s still dark and curly, but only about chin length, where it had been to the middle of her back before.
“I needed a change,” Mar says, realizing that I was staring at her hair.
“I think we all do,” I say, looking away. “But yes. I do think about General Timothy… And what he went through… And how he never got to see the peace… And how we may never get to see it. Even if we live another seventy-five years in this place.”
“I want to see it,” Mar says. “As bad as this Timothy guy… or worse.”
“Me too,” I say, because I do.
“Yeah well,” Mar says, “what do we have to do to see it happen?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, “But we have to do something.” And then I continue staring into space and Mar goes on reading.
Just before bed, Jake comes in and addresses us all.
“We have agreed to give you another day’s rest, however, Captain Samuels says that boot camp is to start back up the next day. We will go easier on those of you who have been affected by the Methrodine.”
He looks in my direction, and then turns his gaze to Malachi, Levi, and Sampson. His eyebrows knit together.
“Those of you,” he says, “that were not affected… Don’t think we’ll go easy on you… because we won’t.”
Then, he walks down the aisle and out the door.
Two days later, we are back to running, which isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. The only sad part is that, there are only eighteen of us who are well enough to be here. Three of the phase members our age are still unconscious…
Including Shawn.
Chris Powers and the girl I finally learned was Eva Williamson are never going to join us again.
We run for thirty minutes, then break for thirty. We have been doing this for three hours. Malachi, Levi, and Sampson, however, have been running non-stop since we entered the room.
My necklace banged against my chest as I ran. I loved the fact that I had a little secret that I could keep from everyone. It was mine, and the one thing I could control.
During the thirty minutes of rest, we really aren’t resting. Even though we are sitting, Jake and Samantha are teaching us how to take apart, put together, clean, and load guns, getting us ready for basic training.
I feel like a little child, holding a toy she isn’t allowed to play with.
Samantha and Jake walk back and forth, evaluating our work.
“Wow, you’re getting good at that,” Samantha says as I snap together my gun.
“Thanks,” I say. Coming from Samantha, that means a lot to me.
The three unaffected, as they have been re-named, are still running the track. Malachi looks my direction from time to time, perhaps wishing that he could get a hold of one of these guns to do some real damage. Who knows?
Levi and Sampson just run along behind him, like they can’t even move without their leader.
Even though Jake had the Captain announce the three strikes and you’re out rule change, I can’t help but still fear them. Even a little bit.
After lunch, we go back to the same routine, only with forty-five minutes of running and fifteen minutes of gunnery.
“I think they’re trying to kill us,” Mar says through short breaths as she runs up beside me.
“Yep,” Jake says, with a smile, as he laps us… yet again. Mar lets out a frustrating sound. I try to keep stride with her, but in reality, we are all worn out.
As we cross the LAP line, Eli runs up between Mar and I, slowing his pace considerably.
“Hey,” he says, tapping my arm.
Then he points in the direction of the door.
“Oh no,” Mar says as she comes to a halt, covering her mouth. Eli and I both stop running as well. He puts his arm around Mar, and she looks sickly pale. I hold my breath, unable to cause my feet to move in the direction of the door.
Jake comes to a stop beside Magi and Paul, who are now walking our way.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“He’s awake,” Magi yells our direction from half way across the room.
Eli, Mar, and I, run their direction at an excited and overwhelming pace.
“He’s awake.” Mar chants.
I crash into Magi, hugging her, and then Paul. Then I turn, and Jake wraps his arms around my waist, picking me up off my feet. Eli and Mar follow suit.
“When can we go see him?” I ask Magi eagerly.
“Any time,” Magi answers. “He’s been asking for you guys,” she pauses, looking down. “He’s not in great shape, though.”
I nod and then look at Jake with puppy dog eyes.
“Fine, fine,” he says, with a smile. “Go see him.”
“What about you?” I ask. “He might like to see you too.”
“I’ll see him soon. For now, I’m needed here if I’m going to keep the unaffected in order.”
He laughs.
Mar, Eli, and I follow Magi and Paul to the medical compound. When we go inside, I expect to go to one of the back rooms, but we don’t. In every cot, on both sides of the room, there are unconscious bodies on intravenous devices and feeding tubes.
All of them are sixteen or older. I wonder what they did with all the younger kids while they were still here.
This place must have been overflowing with half dead children.
The smell is unrecognizable to any smell known to man. It smells like a mix of sweat, vomit, and death.
I try not to hold my nose, but the smell is making me nauseous.
The five of us wander down the aisle to the last cot on the left, where Shawn is laying, half awake, and half dead.
I don’t know what I expected to see when Magi said he was in bad shape. Did I think we would walk in, and he would be sitting up and joking like Shawn? I don’t know what the others expected either. They look just as shocked as I feel. Just as nauseous too.
I crouch down next to his cot.
“Shawn,” I whisper, touching his icy arm.
“Mar,” he wheezes.
“No, it’s Liz,” I say. “But Mar’s here. Do you want to talk to her? Eli’s here too.”
“Liz?” he gets out.
His eyes are mostly closed, and he is trembling. I hate to see him this way. I wonder if this is what I looked like to Jake when I had almost died.
“Yeah?” I respond, trying not to cry.
“Am I gonna die?” he barley whispers, through short breaths, and shut eyes.
Mar crouches down on the other side of the cot. She touches his other arm, but moves her hand away, as soon as she feels the frigidness of his skin.
Eli just stands at the foot of the cot, speechless.
“No,” I say. “You’re not going to die,” but the tears are coming now, so that’s all I can say.
“Yeah,” says Mar, through her own tears. “We need you to stick around a while longer.”
Shawn tries to smile, but it looks painful through gritted teeth.
Finally, my brother says, “I need you man. You’ve got to stick around to keep me out of trouble….I need you to stay with us, so the next time someone picks a fight, you can tackle them f
or me.”
He laughs slightly through a half smile, to keep from crying himself, but his eyes are glassy and he turns away as soon as he’s done talking.
Shawn writhes for the words. “You got it, buddy,” he says quietly, then stops to catch his breath. “I can’t wait.”
We left the medical compound as soon as Shawn fell back to sleep.
Magi told us that they were putting a small dose of Methrodine into his intravenous pump to help level out his breathing. It also helps the pain, if he has any, and will make him sleep. She also said they would start cutting it back every day for as long as it takes for him to be Shawn again.
I wonder how long that will be.
I feel relieved to be gone from that place. There are far too many bad things that have happened there, starting with waking up in the compound on my first day in The Force.
That seems like years ago, but it has only been a month or so. Keeping track of days that pass here has no purpose in a place like this, so I let them pass by uncalculated.
Boot camp is over by the time we make it back to the room. So is dinner.
“We should try to run a little,” Eli says.
“Yeah,” Mar says, agreeing.
“Do you need a head start?” he asks, looking at her with a smile.
“Hey, that’s not nice,” Mar says as she shoves Eli’s shoulder, throwing him to the side a bit.
Then Mar takes the lead anyway. She takes off down the track before my brother even could catch his balance.
“Hey… not fair.” Eli jokes as he runs after her. He catches her with only a few strides, coming up behind her, and grabbing her waist.
I can’t take their flirting after all that has happened, and after seeing Shawn the way he is, so I decide to do something different.
We have only been shown once how to run the obstacle course, but I decide to give it a try.
I start at the brick wall and line my hands on the pegs, when someone slips beside me.
“Together?” Jake asks.
“Together.”
We scale the brick wall side by side, going over the rope ladder that expands from the brick wall to the wall of rope on the other side.
I am out of breath by the time we get to the top of the wall, but I know this is really the best way to gain my strength back.
I remember the night that I followed Jake, while we were being chased by dogs.
Even though I was afraid of what would happen if the dogs caught up to us, I thrived on the fact that I could actually out-run them. Now I know, those dogs would catch me, and make me their next meal.
I don’t want to feel this way, I want to feel strong again.
Jake and I climb down the rope wall, about the time Eli and Mar make it back around to the LAP line.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say, still trying to catch my breath.
“Are you going to continue?”
“Of course,” I say, with a grin.
We finish the course sometime after the sun goes down. Mar and Eli gave up their run after three miles and made their way back to the dorm.
I am worn down and out of breath, but proud of myself for doing it.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” Jake asks.
“Alright,” I say. “Where we going?”
“You’ll see,” he says.
We walk out of boot camp and down the hall to the same exit door we found the first night he came and got me.
Instead of climbing the fence and facing the dogs, which I couldn’t do at this point, we walk towards the back of the complex. Jake stops at a ladder that stretches from the ground to the roof top.
“Ready to climb again?” he asks.
“Always.” I say.
He smiles.
“You really are something, you know that?”
When we get to the roof top, Jake and I walk half way across it, to where a blanket and some chocolate cake are sitting.
“I took the cake from the kitchen,” he says.
“You planned this.” I squeal. “How did you know I would be in boot camp?”
We sit down on the blanket.
“I didn’t. I went to go see Shawn, but he was sleeping, so I asked Magi when you left. She said about twenty minutes before I got there, so I went to the kitchen, then came up here with this stuff, and hoped you would be easy to find.”
“Yeah right,” I smile. “And the first place you checked was boot camp?”
“Well… yeah,” he says. “I know how stubborn you are, and how you wouldn’t let days of near-death experiences hold you back from feeling strong again… I figured either boot camp, or…” He shrugs a shoulder, with a half-smile.
“Or where?” I ask.
“Or… my apartment,” he says with the same half smile. “But I took my chances on boot camp.”
“Did you now?”
“Yep, didn’t think I would be lucky enough to get you back there, so… here we are, you, me, and some cake,” he laughs.
I smile mostly over my nerves, and he smiles back.
He is so strong and has a tough edge to his look, but when he smiles at me, I can’t help but wonder what he sees in me.
He’s more muscular and masculine than most the guys his age. I remember thinking about his looks on the first day, and comparing them to my brother, and the other boys in the room, but I was wrong.
Jake is far from being just some boy, he is a man, and for some reason, he is staring at me.
“I like you a lot,” he confesses as he slides closer to me.
“I like you too,” I say shyly as I lean away, putting space back between us.
We are still sitting at least six inches apart, which I would rather that void not be there, but I don’t know what will happen if I let that void close.
“You’re afraid of me.” He looks offended.
His posture straightened, and his eyebrows draw together, making him look like the drill sergeant I met on the first day.
“No…” I say, slowly and quietly. “I’m not.”
“Then, what? You start to act all jumpy when I try to come near you in any way but to train beside you. You did the other night in my apartment when you pulled away from me. And you’re doing it now.”
I try to think about what to say that won’t make me sound like a child, but there seems to be no easy way around it. “I’m not scared of you… I’m scared of what might happen when I‘m with you…”
“What?” he asks, still offended, eyebrows still together.
“Do I have to say it?” I demand.
He grabs my arm lightly and holds my gaze at eye level, with a hand to my cheek.
“Please,” he says, softer this time. “You be honest with me, and I promise I will always be honest with you.” Then he lets his hands trail down my arms, finding my hips, and I try not to pull away. I try.
For some reason, I search for the feeling of the pendant against my chest. I know if I can feel it, then perhaps I can make myself calm down. It might be able to strengthen me.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I whisper, as I put my hands down over his.
“Do what?” he asks.
“Be a girlfriend… Do the things girlfriends are supposed to do. I don’t know how to do all that.”
He pulls away with the hurt look back in his eyes. “And you think I’ve had all that much experience?” he says, sounding hurt.
“I don’t know,” I answer. “I’m just rather unremarkable, and it makes me wonder… Why are you even interested in a short, skinny, weak girl like me?”
“You think I have motives?” he says hotly.
“I think that you could be some guy who could charm any girl, no matter what she looks like, or where she‘s from.”
As soon as the words come out of my mouth, I want to cram them back in. I want to rewind the past ten minutes and start over again.
He gets to his feet, putting one hand on the back of his head, then looks down at
the ground, then out over the roof top, and then to me. It’s like he’s thinking about what he wants to say to me.
“You’re wrong, Liz,” he finally says. “I don’t know what kind of messed up theories or ideas you have about love, or… whatever this is…but you’ve got problems.”
I stand up too, facing him, feeling overwhelmed, crossing my arms in front of me to help stabilize myself. I am both angry and hurt.
“I do have problems. Don’t you get that?” I’m yelling at this point. “Never, not once, would a guy like you give me the time of day where I’m from, and I‘m having trouble accepting that you want to without reason.”
“I’m not some guy from where you’re from,” he reasons gently as he grabs my hands, pulling them between his chest and mine. “I see you differently than that. You are strong, and intelligent, and caring, and loving, and beautiful… and I do like you… maybe even more than that when you’re ready. Not just some little puppy love in hopes we can hook up, but I like you for you. I have since day one.”
I start crying, and Jake wraps his strong arms around me. “I’m sorry. It just scares me when… when I want to do more with you,” I say, quietly.
He smiles and wraps me tighter in his arms. “Someday,” he says. And then we kiss. “Someday,” he says, again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The next ten days move by quickly.
We are given our guns and fifty-pound packs to run with in boot camp, and a week ago, we began the obstacle course. We started without the packs at first, just carrying the guns with us, but after we got the gist of it, the packs were added also.
My energy is back to normal, and I can feel myself regaining strength day by day.
I can even tell that I am getting more muscular, and even though every ounce of me aches because of the exertion, there is a freedom in having it all come back to me.
Mar is getting stronger and faster too, even faster than before the Methrodine epidemic. She can just about keep up with me on the track and on the course.
She and Eli have gotten a lot closer, and they spend most of their down time together.
I don’t mind. I spend mine with Jake. Together, Jake and I are still trying to find out where the kids have been taken, and in what condition they’re in. No one in charge will even tell me if the younger in my family group are still alive. Some of the ones in charge act like, they themselves don’t even know.
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