by Ella Miles
Siren doesn’t have to hear the end of my sentence to know what I was about to say. Somehow she seems to know my every thought before I say it.
“Well, if you behaved better than the chicken, then I would want to save you too,” she yells.
All hell breaks loose after that.
“You know, for a second, I was going to apologize for what I did, but then I remembered you are an arrogant, manipulative woman who thinks she’s better than me, and now I won’t,” I say.
“Yea, well, you’re an ass!”
“Great comeback.”
“Speaking of coming, how was your orgasm? Because it will be the last you will be getting for a while.”
“Ha, you wish it was the last orgasm. It will be the last orgasm I’ll be getting from you. Not the last one I’ll be getting. And thank god for that, it was a struggle to come, what with you slobbering all over me.” It was sexy as hell and the best damn blowjob of my life.
She smirks. “Yea, it looked like you really struggled to come.”
“It was very difficult, but it shut you up, so it was worth it. Unlike now.”
It’s all a lie—every word. But somehow, I can’t let her have the upper hand. I just can’t.
“Asshole.”
“Bitch.”
“Bastard.”
“Cunt.”
“Jackass.”
“Siren.”
Our eyes lock, and I want to say more. I want to tell her that if she’d just stop lying and trying to ruin my life, I could call her my lover. I could call her my everything. But that will never happen.
A horn honks.
And I realize we’ve been sitting in the middle of the road blocking the path for far too long.
I turn the wheel and start driving again.
This time, I drive in silence, but it’s not awkward. It’s horrible really. Because we both keep replaying all the horrible things we’ve said and done to each other. All the things that ensure we never go anywhere near loving each other again.
There is no love between us, only hate.
Siren’s phone rings, and she stares down at it with trepidation, but she answers, which means it can only be one man—Julian.
“Yes,” she answers.
There’s a short pause, and then she says, “We’re on our way.” Before she hangs up.
I don’t have to ask what Julian said. I know that he summoned Siren and me to his place. And I know why—to discuss the next round of the stupid game. Which means he’ll be assigning me another task. The second of five for me to complete. Which means I’ll be one step closer to being free. One step closer to returning to my normal life.
Right now, I don’t care about the stupid game. I care about getting the answer to one question. How did Julian find out about Lucy?
Hugo said it had to do with the sassy brunette sitting next to me. But something feels off. My gut doesn’t know who to trust—Hugo or Siren?
Julian is the tiebreaker. Not that I can trust him either.
I need to know the answer. I need to know how to protect Lucy. But I have a feeling needing to know how he found out about Lucy has a lot more to do with my feelings for Siren than it does Lucy.
11
Siren
Zeke drives straight to Julian’s house without asking me what Julian demanded.
He knew.
And he didn’t argue with being summoned.
I don’t analyze why. My focus is on something else entirely.
When Zeke pulls up in front of Julian’s house, I’m out of the truck before he’s even put it in park.
I don’t wait for Zeke. In fact, I want to get as far away from Zeke as possible. Even if it means running toward Julian.
Julian spots me when I enter his house without knocking. He raises an eyebrow when he spots my angry snarl.
“Don’t wait for me to start,” I say, running upstairs, not waiting for permission from Julian.
I head down the hallway to what I know is a spare bathroom—a bathroom no one ever uses.
I shut the door carefully and lock it even though I know no one is coming after me. No one is going to check on me. Because no one loves me. No one could ever love me.
I’m too ruthless.
Too cold.
Too heartless.
Too determined.
Too strong.
Too callous.
Too everything.
I don’t need a man, or at least that’s the persona the world sees. And therefore, no man needs me. No man loves me.
I slump to the floor in front of the door.
And then I cry.
Big ugly tears.
Tears that turn to sobs.
Tears that consume me.
That rattle my entire body.
That shake the door.
Tears that ruin the mascara on my face.
Tears that turn my eyes big and puffy.
Tears that cause snot to run down my face.
Tears that pour out of my eyes until they begin to burn.
I’ve never cried over a man, not until Zeke Kane.
When I saw Hugo in bed with another woman, I didn’t cry. I was angry; boy, was I angry. But I didn’t cry. I was strong.
But Zeke is a man worth crying over. I cry so long I’m not even sure why I’m crying anymore.
Sure, him calling out another woman’s name hurt. But it was intentional, not an accident. He didn’t mistake me for Lucy. He knew exactly what he was doing—hurting me.
And he succeeded.
Not because of his stupid game. Not because he said her name. But because I realized who she is to him.
He loves her. Or at least did.
Lucy has what I will never have—the love of Zeke.
I’ve hurt him too many times to earn his love. And I’m too self-reliant to ever depend on a man, even Zeke.
I don’t want a boyfriend, definitely not a husband.
That’s what love requires—a commitment.
Something I will never give. Something I will never have.
I will never experience love. Not real love. The kind where the man loves you as much as you love him. The kind that makes you do stupid things like get married and have kids. I will never have that kind of love. Not because I’m not worthy, but because I know what love does. Love destroys. And I refuse to spend the rest of my life crying on the floor because of love.
But when I stand up, clean my face, and try my best to cover up my puffy eyes with the makeup I find in the drawer, I know that I’m lying. Because I still love Zeke. He’s the man for me. Even if he doesn’t think I’m the woman for him.
Even though we continue to hurt each other, my heart is his. And I’d rather have it shattered by Zeke than loved by another man.
12
Zeke
“Stop playing games,” I say as I enter Julian’s sitting room. The room he prefers to do his business in. The room that contains more cigar smoke than actual oxygen.
“Hmm, I don’t know what you are talking about,” he says, pouring three glasses of scotch even though Siren disappeared upstairs and has yet to return.
“Sure, you do.” I snatch one of the glasses and take a sip.
He eyes me. “Nope, no idea. I’ve kept to my side of the deal.”
“I’m talking about Hugo Martinez.”
“Oh, you mean Aria’s husband? Yea, I heard he had a horrible accident and ended up in the hospital.”
I glare. “He had an accident all right—took a swing to the nose, a wall to the wrist, and an IV pole to the kneecap. He’ll be in the hospital for at least a week while those heal, I suspect.”
Julian’s eyes widen at my admission. Apparently, Hugo hasn’t told him what happened.
“Sounds like my Aria,” he says, assuming she was the one to deliver all the blows. I don’t correct him. I’m not the kind of man to break a bone and tell.
“About Lucy,” I start.
Julian just shakes his head. “Aria wil
l be down soon, and then we can talk.”
I frown. Julian just wants Siren here when I ask about Lucy. He’s trying to play games. I don’t like it.
My ears strain, trying to listen for Siren. Siren disappeared up the stairs on a mission the second she stepped foot in the door. I have no idea why. Could she not get far enough away from me fast enough?
Or did it have to do with something else?
Julian and I wait in silence, mostly glaring, trying to intimidate each other.
But with each second that passes, I grow more uncomfortable. Where is Siren?
I consider going to look for her, but there is an unspoken rule hovering between Julian and me. Neither of us will go look for Siren. Neither of us will show weakness for a woman that we have both fallen for in different ways. A woman we both despise, while respecting how incredible she is. A woman we both want to be ours.
So we stare, our eyes doing the talking our mouths won’t. Each of us confident we are going to win this battle between us and win Siren over to our side.
“What are you two doing?” Siren asks as she struts into the room, instantly warming the room with her heat.
“Waiting for you, my pet,” Julian says with a knowing smile.
She shoots him a dirty look before grabbing the glass of scotch he poured for her and sitting in a chair between Julian and me.
“I told you not to wait for me,” she says, avoiding my gaze and looking at Julian.
“We didn’t think it would be polite to start without you,” I say. Look at me, dammit!
She doesn’t.
“Did you get whatever was so important taken care of?” I ask.
She nods into her glass, still not looking at me, which only piques my curiosity more.
Suddenly, I notice all the changes in Siren—they’re subtle. I don’t think Julian sees them, but he also hasn’t spent all day with her like I have.
Everything is slightly different. Her hair was pulled back, but it’s now let down, dangling in front of her face like a shield over her face. Her jeans and shirt have damp spots on them. Her face looks like she’s reapplied makeup, as her face is a shade brighter than before.
She takes another sip of her drink, this time, her hair falls back, and her eyes cut to me for the briefest of seconds. And then I see the real difference—her eyes.
Her eyes are red—both of them. Just enough for me to notice something is wrong, but not enough for her to be getting sick. The puffiness around her eyes stands out, even though she’s mostly hidden it with her caked-on makeup.
And then she sniffles. Just once, but it’s enough.
Enough for me to know what she’s been doing upstairs this whole time—crying.
Why?
Because of me?
Because of her situation?
Hugo?
Almost dying in the car?
I’ve never wanted to read her mind more than I do now. I’ve never wanted Julian out of the picture so I could scoop her up in my arms like I want to now. I want to know who made her cry for almost an hour upstairs so I can hurt him like I did Hugo. Even if that bastard is me.
Instead, I’m forced to sit in my chair and act like I don’t notice her eyes, her sniffles, her heart breaking.
But the way her eyes study me noticing her, she knows that I know. And I swear I see moisture gather in the corner of her eye at that thought.
“Ready for round two?” Julian asks.
“Yes,” I hiss impatiently.
He grins. “You don’t have to act all impatient about it. You have four rounds left. It can be all over today if you just answer each question honestly instead of choosing sin.”
“Ask your question,” I say, refusing to acknowledge him. If I was selfish and just wanted off this island, I would answer all of his questions. But I’m not selfish. I protect my friends. I protect Lucy.
“Where is Mr. Black’s vault?” Julian asks.
Fuck, he knows everything. Everything I’ve vowed to protect for so long. Julian Reed knows.
“How the fu...” I start, but Julian’s dark glare stops me. I can’t make Julian know how secretive the vault is and how impressive it is that he knows about it. He can’t know that it’s important.
And yet, without me speaking, he already knows. He knows how crucial it is. He probably knows what the vault contains.
Fucking christ. How does he know?
Siren.
She’s being incredibly silent during this conversation. Her eyes are buried in her glass, not lifting to look at me.
Because she was the one who found out the information about the vault. She was the one who found out about Lucy. I’m sure of it. She might have even met Enzo Black before.
I don’t trust her, but god, that doesn’t stop me from wanting her.
“Sin,” I say, knocking the rest of my drink back, praying like hell that this task he gives me will be easier than the last one.
“Since you won’t give me the location of the vault, I want something equally as valuable as what I would find inside,” Julian says.
“And what would that be?”
“One billion dollars.”
I scoff. “You have plenty of money. What do you need that kind of money for?”
“None of your business,” he answers.
“Fine, I agree to the deal, if you stay away from Lucy. She is no longer part of your negotiations.”
His smile curls up. “No. Lucy is very much part of our negotiations. You may not love Siren anymore, but you love Lucy. I found your weakness, and I promise to exploit it.”
Siren looks at me now. And her eyes say everything. That she had nothing to do with finding Lucy. Why would she, when the mention of her name slices into her heart as easily as a knife? Siren wouldn’t help Julian find a woman from my past, not when it impeded her ability to control me by being the only woman in my life. I see the pain in Siren’s eyes. Pain at the mention of me loving another woman.
I do love Lucy, but not in the way Julian is saying. And definitely not in the way Siren is thinking.
But I don’t let either of them think differently. I keep my mask on like a protective armor.
“Lucy stays out of this,” I say firmly.
“No, you finish your five tasks or answer your five questions honestly, and I won’t touch Lucy. Just like I won’t touch Enzo, or Kai, or Langston, or Liesel. Not until the game is over. Afterward, they are all fair game again. But you’ll be free to go and protect them.”
FUCK!
My choices are to drag this game out into eternity to ensure Julian never goes after my friends, or spend this time learning everything I can about Julian, so when the game is over, I can defeat him.
Or find something he wants more than Enzo Black. Something to keep my friends safe.
“Aria has my bank account information. I don’t care how you get the money or who you steal it from. I want that amount deposited to my bank account by the end of the week.”
I open my mouth to argue. To yell. To say I would never get him that kind of money.
“Lucy is doing great in Seattle, by the way. The rain and coffee life suits her,” Julian says, standing and walking out the door, dropping a bomb to ensure I do exactly as he says.
Enzo Black is strong. His empire is formidable. I’ve done my best to protect him so far. I never want to bring an enemy to Enzo’s doorstep. But if I had to, I would, knowing Enzo would destroy them.
Lucy is different. I can’t bring an enemy to her. She doesn’t belong in this world. It’s like Julian knew I’d grow tired of his games. That I’d grow tired of being away from my friends. That soon, I would give up defending them, and I’d run to their side, preparing them as best I could to defeat Julian. Lucy was his ultimate bomb drop. He knew he could control me as long as he had access to Lucy.
She’s in Seattle.
She’s probably living a happy, unsuspecting life in the city. Julian mentioned coffee, and I can very much see Lucy loving t
hat town. She loves coffee. I can imagine her being an excellent executive at the newest coffee roasting company. She wouldn’t settle for anything less than being an executive.
Siren stares at me while I’m thinking about Lucy. And I finally realize what the tears she cried earlier were about. Because I see the look now on her face. A look that says her heart is shattering right in front of me.
But why?
Siren doesn’t love me. She doesn’t even care about me.
There is no way she can be feeling anything other than jealousy at me thinking of another woman.
But that’s not what my eyes see. And that’s not what my heart feels. And whatever Siren is feeling scares the shit out of me.
13
Siren
“I’ll meet you at your house in an hour, and we can discuss a plan,” I say.
Zeke stands, like he can’t get out of the room fast enough. It would make sense if it were Julian he was running from. But he’s not running from Julian; he’s running from me.
“How are you going to get back?” He pauses in the doorway.
I don’t look at him. I can’t, not without breaking and showing him just how much he means to me. How much I love him. How I know he’ll never love me back.
I stretch. “I have two feet. I’ll walk.”
He doesn’t say anything else, but I feel his presence leave the room. And I don’t know if it ends up more gloomy with him gone, or if the fog lifts when he leaves.
I wait a moment, trying to decide what I want to do. Trying to figure out what Julian’s plan is.
But Julian Reed is a complicated man. He doesn’t tell me his thoughts because he doesn’t trust me as much as he wants me to be his number two, I’m not there yet. Not in reality.
I could let Julian destroy Lucy, get rid of my competition, so to speak. But I can’t stand to watch Zeke shatter. I love him. And that means doing the right thing, even if the right thing means sacrificing myself in order to save the woman Zeke loves.