“I’m sorry.” I smile, continuing to warm both sides of my cold hands on his warm skin.
“It’s okay,” he breathes.
I take my hands off him, so he doesn’t have to feel the chill of them anymore and just grab hold of his shirt instead. Grinding into him as I kiss along his jawline, slow kisses, all the way up to his ear. I put my lips to his earlobe, sucking on it and then bite it softly.
“Arya,” James says, grabbing me on my shoulders to pull me away to face him, which surprises me. Did I do something wrong? Why is he stopping me? I sit back, looking at him, and he reads the unspoken question on my face.
James
She thinks she did something wrong, which is the stupidest thing she could ever think. She did nothing wrong. She did everything perfectly. And that's the reason I have to stop her. I have to stop her because all I want to do is run my hands underneath that skirt, I want to put my hands under her tight tank top. I want to touch her everywhere. I just want her. But I don't want to do something she's not ready for. I don't want to automatically assume she's all in, just because she invited me to her empty house. She means everything to me and I'm not going to screw it up in one night, because we have all the time in the world to do this. "Arya, you don't realize how much I'm holding myself back from you now. You are everything to me." I take a breath and look into her soft eyes. "I only want to do what you are comfortable with."
Arya shimmies herself closer to me and I let out a groan in response. Her hair is falling over her shoulders in front of me and I just want to grab hold of it. “What are you comfortable with?” she asks. I didn’t expect that question.
“What?”
"You said you only wanted to do what I'm comfortable with, but I'm asking you what you're comfortable with," Arya says, pulling a piece of hair behind her ear, placing her hands on my chest.
“Most girls don’t ask a guy that question,” I say.
“They just assume that the guy is always the one who wants to go further or all the way?” Arya says, raising an eyebrow at me.
“Something like that.” I smile at her.
“So do you want to go all the way?” Arya asks.
“I want to go at your pace,” I say.
“Which you assume is slower than yours?” Arya asks, teasing me by playing with my belt buckle.
“Well considering I wanted to sleep with you at that abandoned house on our first date, yes, I do assume that!” I smile at her and she just laughs.
She wraps her arms around my neck and is sitting as close as possible to me, my hands on her waist. Her breasts are right up against my chest and her face is close. "I want to be with you, James," she says. "But I don't think I'm ready for that just yet."
“And that’s fine,” I say, expecting that this is how it would go. We’ve only been together a couple of weeks. When she told me about her empty house, I was just happy that we could have a whole evening to ourselves with no interruptions.
“I don’t know how it’s all supposed to work,” Arya says. “Timing and everything in a relationship.”
“There is no timeline,” I tell her, rubbing her hips. “Just whatever works for us.”
“I’ve never been in a relationship before,” Arya says.
“Neither have I,” I say. She raises an eyebrow at me. “I dated girls in Grade 9, but none lasted more than two dates.”
“Elementary school?”
“Does that even count?” I ask.
“Should it?”
"I had a 'girlfriend' in Grade 7 and another one in Grade 8," I say. "That's it. But I don't think they should count as a relationship. I was a kid and had no idea what I was doing back then." She laughs. "What I'm saying is that this is all new for me too, Arya. And I'm just happy to be with you."
“Even if my pace is a bit slower than yours?” she asks.
“Slow, medium, fast,” I say. “I don’t care. We can go turtle slow if you like.”
Arya
I laugh. “Well, I don’t want to go TURTLE slow,” I say. I lean into him, as if to kiss him, and bite his bottom lip.
His hands travel along my hips, down my thighs, to my knees. He runs his hands up my bare thighs under my skirt slowly, feeling the soft skin I just shaved today. “Are you wearing shorts, Arya?”
“Spandex shorts,” I say to him and he laughs at me. “What?”
“Nothing.” James smiles.
"I feel safer with them on," I say. "In case the wind blows up my skirt or some guy grabs on it, there are many things that could happen, James. Not something I expect you to understand."
James runs his hands up to my hips under my skirt, grabbing hold of them, his hands on my spandex shorts, not touching any skin.
“Do you want to go upstairs? I think it would be more comfortable,” I say.
"I'm very comfortable here, Arya." James smiles and I give him a look. "But I'd follow you anywhere," James says, and I get off him. I take his hand and lead him up the staircase to my room. "It's nice," James says looking around. I close the curtains and then grab PJ shorts and an old baggy t-shirt from my closet. "I'll turn around," James says, looking away. I smile to myself at how sweet he is. I change into the less attractive but more comfortable clothes and throw my hair in a bun. James is still looking away, so I come up behind him and hug him. He turns around in my arms as I let go of him and looks at me. "You look beautiful, Arya."
“Funny, James,” I say, turning away from him but he grabs my wrist to pull me back to him.
"I'm serious, Arya," James says. "You look beautiful no matter what you wear. I like seeing you like this."
“Baggy shirt and PJ shorts?”
“Comfortable,” James says. “You’re always dolled up whenever I see you. It’s nice to see another side of you.”
“Well, if that’s how you feel, maybe I’ll just wear PJs to class from now on,” I say.
James laughs. “You’d still be the most beautiful girl at school.”
"Let me take my makeup off and then you can tell me if you still prefer me like this," I say, leaving him in the bedroom while I go to the bathroom.
When I come back, James is lying on my bed looking at an old photo album. “Is this you?” James points to the book when I walk in.
“James,” I say, grabbing the album from him and putting it back on the shelf.
“Hey!” James says, reaching out his arm, “I was looking at that!”
"You were trying to find embarrassing photos of me," I say, coming up to sit cross-legged at the foot of my double bed by his feet.
“Unsuccessfully,” James says, smiling at me, and then sits up, giving me a serious look and I know he’s about to tell me something that I don’t want to hear. “Arya, I want to ask you about something…” James takes a breath before looking back at me. “Just please don’t get mad.”
“Are you sure you should be asking me then?” I ask.
“Arya.”
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to, James,” I warn.
“You’re deflecting,” James says.
“I’m not,” I say. “Go ahead, ask.”
“You know you can tell me anything, Arya,” James says. “Anything about your past. You don’t have to keep it a secret from me. I want to know. I don’t care what you’ve done or who you’ve been with before me.”
“Where’s the question?” I ask, wanting him to get to the point.
“I know that you told me that all that happened between you and Lexi was that you kissed,” James says. “But be honest with me, Arya.”
“I didn’t lie,” I say. “We never dated. We kissed once James, that’s it.”
“But you two clearly mean a lot to each other,” James says. “At least you did. I’m not blind, Arya. Strangers kiss, friends kiss, couples kiss, it can mean anything. What was it between the two of you? You can tell me, Arya. I told you, all I want to know is what I’m up against.”
“James,” I say, looking him straight in t
he eyes. There’s no point trying to brush Lexi off as just an innocent kiss anymore. “Lexi and I started becoming close towards the end of last semester, but no one knew about it, we kept it to ourselves. We had feelings for each other and shared an intense kiss but then I left West Side shortly after. James,” he wanted the truth, so I’ll give it to him, “if I had stayed at West Side, I’d be dating him now.”
“So he thinks I took his girl,” James says.
“I was never his,” I say.
“But he saw you as his,” James says sternly. “He thought of you as his girl, that he could have you back when he saw you tonight. And now he sees me as the guy that took you away from him.”
“James…”
“It makes sense now,” James says. “I knew there was more between the two of you than you let on.”
“I don’t like him like that anymore,” I say. “I like you, I want to be with you.”
“I know,” James says. “But please, Arya, please warn me next time. Warn me that the guy you kissed is someone who was going to be your boyfriend instead of making me believe that it was just a harmless kiss.”
“James…”
“You knew that’s how I saw it,” James says. “You tried to brush him off as an innocent kiss when he was more than that. He might as well have been an ex-boyfriend for all I knew. Worse actually. An ex-boyfriend that wanted you back.”
“I’m sorry, James,” I say. “I didn’t want you to worry about a guy I don’t have feelings for anymore.”
“I forgive you,” James says. “But I want to know these things, Arya. I know you want to be with me. I’m not jealous of any of these other guys and I’m not worried about them. I just want to look out for you and protect you.”
“Lexi is a good guy,” I say. “He’s not going to do anything to interfere with us anymore. He’s sorry about the bet.”
“Had a nice chat with him?” James asks sarcastically.
“I had to, James,” I say.
“I know, Arya,” James says. “You trust him, so I trust that he cares about you enough that he would back off.”
I crawl on the bed up to James to lie next to him and rest my head on his chest, wrapping my arms around him, and he puts a hand on my back.
“You’re important to me, Arya,” James says. “I want to keep you safe. I know we come from different worlds, but I enjoy the challenge.”
“I’m sorry about Lexi,” I say. “But I can promise you that he’s the only guy I’ve kissed other than you.”
“I feel so honoured,” James says in jest and I slap his stomach. “There’s something else I wanted to ask about.” I grip onto James tighter, waiting for the next question, hoping it’s not what I think it is. “I know you don’t talk about it, but why’d you leave West Side? Something happened, didn’t it?”
I just run my hand along James’ torso, wondering how to respond. Lexi told me to tell James. Told me not to leave him in the dark. But I can’t tell James the truth. I can’t bring him into this mess. The less he knows, the better. For everyone. “James, I don’t want to go into it.”
He gets up to lie next to me so that we can face each other, propping himself on his elbow. “You know you can tell me anything. Any secret you have is safe with me.” It’s better if you don’t know, James. Safer.
“James,” I say, “can I please have this one thing to myself? Please. Please don’t make me talk about it.”
“Are you safe?” James asks, just like Lexi did. How did I get so lucky with these two guys that want to protect me above all else?
“I am,” I say.
“I can’t force you to tell me,” James says. “I wish you would, but people are entitled to their secrets and as long as you are safe, that’s all I care about.” Lexi had said that if I was his girl, he would have forced me to tell him. But James isn’t going to do that. Who’s right? I don’t know, but I am grateful that James isn’t forcing me to tell him. I think part of why Lexi would have forced me is because he was there, and he feels responsible. He feels like there was something he could have done to keep me at West Side.
Chapter 31 – 4 in the Morning
“I give you everything that I am / I'm handin' over everything that I've got / 'Cause I wanna have a really true love / Don't ever wanna have to go and give you up / Stay up till four in the morning” – 4 in the Morning, Gwen Stefani
Arya
I kiss James softly on the lips, grateful for an amazing boyfriend. He rolls over on top of me, trapping me beneath him. “What did you tell your mom?” I ask him.
“That I’m sleeping over at my girlfriend’s house while her parents are out of town.” James smiles.
“Hilarious James,” I say.
“She’s working the night shift at the hospital,” James says. “She won’t even know I didn’t come home.”
“Your sisters?”
“Are probably staying up too late and eating too much junk food,” James says, and I give him a concerned look. I didn’t mean to take him away from looking after his sisters. “Don’t worry Arya, my 20-year-old cousin is sleeping over at the house with them tonight. They’re fine.”
I run my hands along his lean, strong arms.
“What time are your parents coming home?” James asks. “I don’t think they’d appreciate seeing my car in their garage when they get back.” We smile at each other. I told James to put his car in the garage to avoid any nosy neighbours telling my parents that their 16-year-old daughter’s boyfriend’s car was parked outside all night the weekend they were away.
“Not ‘til dinner time,” I say. “You’ll be long gone by then.” At work. James kisses me hard on the mouth, grabbing onto my side, underneath my t-shirt. I pull him down to me, my head resting on the pillow. My legs are spread for him to fit into and his chest is against mine. He wraps his arms around my waist, leaning into me. I put my knees up, hugging my thighs tightly around his waist. My shirt is riding up with his arms around me and he’s touching bare skin.
And then I force him to roll over so I can be on top, straddling him again. I sit back while he just lies there, rubbing his hands on my bare thighs.
“I like you a lot, Arya,” James says. “More than I’ve ever liked anyone before. I only want you. I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”
“I like you too, James,” I say. “More than you can even fathom. I never thought I could feel this way about someone. You mean everything to me.”
And then I touch the bottom of his shirt, just above his belt buckle. “Don’t you dare put your cold hands on my stomach again.”
“It’s the best way to warm them up,” I say, putting my hands under his shirt again to warm my hands on his skin.
He tenses again under me. “I hate you.”
I run my hands up further under his shirt, touching his ribs, his chest, his skin is warm against my hands and he soon relaxes after a while once my hands warm up from his body heat.
“I don’t know anyone else with such cold hands all the time,” James says.
“It’s why I keep you around,” I say. “Need to warm my hands on something.”
“Mitts work too, Arya,” James says.
“Not as fun,” I say.
“You’re right.” He smiles.
I take my hands off him and then take the elastic out of my hair, knowing that my bun must be a mess from rolling around on the bed. I shake my hair out to fall all around me.
“I like you with your hair down,” James says.
“Why?” I lean down my face to him, my arms on his chest to support me, my hair falling around me.
"Because then I get to play with it," James says, grabbing onto pieces of hair, gently pulling me closer to him. I kiss him, just wanting all of him. I kiss him deeply as his hands untangle from my hair and move to my waist, my hips, and then to my ass.
But then his phone goes off in his pocket. He tenses underneath me, and I understand, because when he was 14 years old, he got a call in the mid
dle of the night to tell him his father was dead. He breaks the kiss, and I lean back to sit up. “I’m sorry, Arya,” he says. “I have to…”
“You don’t have to explain,” I say, and then he smiles and grabs me by my hips and throws me off him on the bed. I never, ever, thought that a guy I was straddling would ever throw me off of him.
He answers the call, leaving my room to speak to the person on the other line. I go up to my dresser mirror and look at myself, seeing my hair in disarray and try to smooth it down. James says I’m beautiful like this and it makes me believe it’s true. I’ve never had someone to tell me I’m beautiful when I’m not trying. James walks back in slowly, looking like he’s about to say something that’s going to disappoint me.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Yes,” James says. “I just…” He sighs. “I need to go pick up the guys and give them a ride home. There’s a guy who is…”
"James, please," I say. "Go ahead, it's no problem." I'm disappointed that he's leaving me, but I admire him for looking after his friends. I'm aware that taxis are nonexistent in our small town, but did his friends know what they were disturbing when they phoned him? I know Malcolm should have known.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” James says and then kisses me before he leaves the room.
I want to shout at him to tell his friends what they took him from and what he has waiting for him, but I hold my tongue. Boys will be boys. They’ll know.
No POV
“We’re leaving, Malcolm,” Richard says to him as he’s talking with a group of guys. “You coming?”
“Yeah, sure,” Malcolm says, giving the guys a handshake pat on the back before leaving them.
“I’ve never seen someone drink as much as Lucas did tonight,” Richard says as they start walking to the front of the house. “James should be here soon to get us all home.”
“You didn’t,” Malcolm stops him, “please tell me you didn’t call him.”
“What’s the big deal?” Richard asks. “I couldn’t find him, so I called him. Said he’d be here in like ten minutes.”
East Side Academy Page 20