“How, Arya?” James yells at me.
“Another job?”
“No other job gives me as many hours and pays as well!” James yells, heated with anger.
“Maybe because you shouldn’t be working that many hours?!” I yell back.
"I am not having this argument with you again, Arya," James says sternly, turning to stare out the windshield.
“You’re shutting me out?” I ask and James says nothing. “This is what he wants, James. He wants you as his puppet, he wants you to get rid of me.” James still says nothing and doesn’t look at me. “I’m not letting you go, James. I know it’s not what you want. You know it’s not what I want.” He’s silent.
Feeling frustrated, I get out of the car, slamming the door, and start walking towards the front door.
“Arya, wait!” James calls, getting out of the car and I turn back to him, standing on the stone pathway while he is on the driveway.
“James, I want you more than you can even fathom,” I say, “but it kills me to watch your uncle suck the life out of you.”
“He pushes me because he wants what’s best for me,” James says. “He doesn’t want me to be stuck in this town, he’s pushing me so that I can reach my full potential.”
“And is bailing on your friends your full potential, James?” I say. “Because that is what you have been doing the past two years. Your uncle succeeded in taking you from your friends. I bet he even tried taking soccer from you too. I refuse to let him take you away from me. What would your dad say, James?"
"Don't you dare say that to me," James says angrily. "I am doing the best I can with what I have! I can't be the guy you need so I'm being the responsible one between us."
Chapter 55 – Apologize
"You tell me that you're sorry, didn't think I'd turn around, and say (that) / "It's too late to apologize (it's too late)." / I said, "It's too late to apologize (it's too late)." – Apologize, OneRepublic
James
“James, Arya,” I hear a voice from behind me.
"You have got to be kidding me," Arya says frustrated, and then I turn around.
He’s back, in the flesh. Henri Young is in Arya’s driveway. He doesn’t look like himself though. He’s usually so confident and arrogant, but right now he just looks scared. I guess we didn’t notice his car pull up with all the arguing.
“What are you doing here?” I say angrily. Arya is behind me and I remain in between them.
"I came to talk to Mia," Henri says.
"She's not home," I say flatly.
“James,” Arya whispers to me.
“So you should leave,” I say. “And don’t come back.”
"I want to apologize to you, Arya," Henri says around me, looking at Arya behind me. "Please just talk to me. Just a moment."
I hear Arya walking up behind me and feel her at my shoulder. “You don’t have to do this,” I whisper to her. “You owe him nothing.”
"But he owes my sister everything," Arya whispers back and looks at Henri.
“I’m so sorry, Arya,” Henri says. “I did the unforgivable. I truly hurt someone that you love, and I deserved much worse than what you did to me. I am sorry for hurting your sister, I can see what a horrible thing I did. After watching that video, I just…” he trails off. “I want to apologize to her,” he says firmly. “I know she won’t forgive me, but I want her to know how sorry I am. I want her to know that I know that I hurt her and that I will never do it again. Please, Arya. Please let me talk to her.”
“I already told you she’s not home!” I say to him, but he never takes his eyes off Arya.
“We just got home,” Arya says. “Let me check if she is here. I’ll be a moment.”
"Thank you so much, Arya," Henri says sincerely and she turns to go into the house, leaving me outside with Henri.
"So I heard you won the championship," Henri says. "Congratulations."
"I was disappointed that I didn't get to kick your ass out there, but I had to respect your team for what they did," I say.
“I know you hate me, James,” Henri says. “And I don’t blame you. I just wanted to come here to apologize to Mia and Arya. That’s it. And then I’ll leave.”
“And that will clear your conscience?” I ask.
“No,” Henri says. “But they both deserve an apology, and if Mia wants to yell at me, she can.”
"She should knee you in nuts," I say.
“She should,” Henri says. “I have to do this now. I am moving out West tomorrow to live with my mom in Victoria. I will be tutored and homeschooled for the last few weeks of Grade 11 and then go to a boarding school for Grade 12.”
“A fresh start? Where no one knows who you are?” I say.
“I can’t turn my life around here,” Henri says. “Everyone hates me. I have to leave. I have no choice.”
“Took the entire town turning on you to make you realize what you did was wrong?” I say.
And then I hear the front door open and both Mia and Arya step out. I didn’t think she would do this. Mia comes right up to Henri and stands in front of him. Arya comes to my side and I wrap my arm around her waist, wanting to feel her, wanting her to be close. To protect her.
"Mia," Henri says breathlessly.
"My sister told me you have something to says to me," Mia says sternly, showing no emotion.
“Yes,” Henri says. “I came to apologize. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know that I know how much I hurt you. I was a monster. I will never forgive myself for what I did. I deserve what has happened to me and so much more.”
“You have no idea how much you hurt me. You never will,” Mia says. “I hope you never forgive yourself, because I know I will never forgive you. You took everything from me. You left a permanent scar on me that will never heal, no matter what I do.”
"I'm so sorry, Mia," Henri says.
“I hate the sound of your voice,” Mia says. “It’s just a reminder of everything that happened. I can’t forgive you, Henri. You did the unforgivable. But I applaud you coming out here, for being repentant. I can only hope that now you will never do to someone what you did to me.”
"I will never hurt someone like I hurt you, Mia," Henri says. "I will live with this for the rest of my life."
"And so will I," Mia says. "I think you should go."
“Right,” Henri says. “But you and Arya should know that I am leaving tomorrow. I am going out to the West Coast. You won’t have to see me again.”
"I feel bad for the West Coast then," Mia says.
"I'll leave you, now," Henri says and then he walks away and drives off in his car in silence as we all just stare at him leave.
"Mia," Arya says to her sister, releasing herself from my grip and I realize how hard I was holding onto her. But she never complained for a second. Mia turns to her. She has no emotion on her face. I have no idea what she is thinking. "Mia, are you okay?"
“I needed that,” Mia says. “I finally had the upper hand over him.”
“You did great,” Arya says. “And now none of us have to see him again.”
"Thank goodness," Mia says relieved.
“What do you want to do, Mia?” Arya asks her.
"I need to run," Mia says, shaking her arms. "I need to get rid of this energy." And then she runs back into the house, leaving Arya and me alone together.
"Thank you, James," Arya says.
“What for?” I ask. “I didn’t do anything but bruise your hip.”
“Having you here meant everything,” Arya says. “Staying here. Being with me. I don’t know if I could have remained calm if you hadn’t been here.”
“You would have been fine, Arya,” I say. “You are far stronger than what you give yourself credit for.”
"Thank you, James," Arya says and then we just stare at each other.
Mia runs out the door in her running gear and headphones in. “See ya!” she calls as she runs down the sidewalk to a trail path.
<
br /> "I'm sorry for yelling at you, Arya," I say, breaking the silence. "I know you only want what's best for me."
“It’s what your friends and family want too,” he says. “Everyone cares so much about you, James. They all hate seeing you this way. You carry a burden too heavy for you.”
"There's no other way, Arya," I say. And then she comes up to me, closing the distance between us. She puts her hands to my face and just stares up at me.
“There’s always another way, James. No matter what is happening, you can always come to me. Whatever the problem is, we can work it out. Even when it seems like too much,” she says, but something tells me those aren’t her words. They’re words someone said to her and now she’s repeating them to me. She kisses me, softly at first and then more deeply. I wrap my arms around her small body. She’s the one who breaks the kiss before I am ready. “I am not giving up on you and I’m never letting you go,” Arya says.
“I’m sorry for asking you to,” I say. “I just want what’s best for you too.”
“You are what’s best for me, James,” Arya says. “When are you going to realize it?”
Chapter 55 – Save You
“And no matter what I do / I can't make you feel better / If only I could find the answer / To help me understand / Sometimes I wish I could save you / And there's so many things that I want you to know / I won't give up 'til it's over / If it takes you forever I want you to know” – Save You, Simple Plan
No POV
Alone in the bathroom, Eric washes his hands. The same washroom that he sexually assaulted the West Side girl. That girl is crazy and is back together with the soccer player. Let him have her. Let him deal with her. She’s just a rich bitch anyway.
He hears the bathroom door open as he’s about to leave.
James
“Going somewhere?” Malcolm says, pushing Eric back into the bathroom.
“What the fuck is this?” Eric says, staring at all four of us.
“You hurt someone very important to me,” I say to him. “You are a scumbag. There are not many things lower than forcing yourself on a girl.”
He laughs. “James,” he says. “I think this is just a big misunderstanding. You see, you guys were broken up and I thought she wanted…" I punch him, in the jaw, and he steps back a bit from the impact. He touches where I punched him. "Both of you are crazy. You deserve each other."
“If I ever find out you tried to pull a stunt like you did on my girlfriend on any other girl,” I say, “I will actually kill you.” I want to just beat him, bang his head on the wall, but I won’t. The purpose of this is to make sure he doesn’t do this again, or at least that he doesn’t feel safe trying to.
“Some girls like it,” Eric says. “Some like a dominant to force them. They just don’t realize it.”
He had his chance. He blew it. I push him up against the wall. “They like it?” I say to him. My three closest friends are standing around me, but this is not a four against one battle. This is one against one. I punch him in the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him and he bends over slightly, gasping for breath. “You are a pathetic excuse for a person. You are a lowlife and a scumbag. If I see you near another girl again, I’m punching you out. I don’t even care if you’re just talking to her.” He stands up to face me and look me in the eye.
“I’m sorry I ever touched your psycho bitch girlfriend,” Eric says, his voice hoarse. “Definitely not worth it. Couldn’t even get her to…” I punch him in the solar plexus again and I know he’s done talking for now.
“Anything else you want to say?” I ask, but he’s struggling to get air in. “Remember, Eric. I’ll be watching.”
And then I turn away from him. He’s never going to change, but at least he knows there will be plenty of guys to put him in line if he ever tries to get out of it.
My dad always taught me that fighting wasn't the answer, but that there were times that it was the only way to deal with someone. He taught me that sheer brute strength wasn't the way to win a fight. You had to be strong and use your head. He taught me the spots to hit someone if I ever was in the situation. He made me confident against any person, that even if I wasn't the physically bigger or stronger one, that I could still win. Violence isn't the answer, but it's important to teach people how to fight back, how to defend themselves, so when they do get into that situation, they are confident that they can get out of it.
***
“Do we have soccer practice tomorrow morning?” Richard asks Samson and me at my locker.
“Yes,” Samson says. “Mr. Quirrel is taking any free time he can get to put in more practice before EOSSA.”
“Third year in a row,” Richard says. “Let’s see what we can do this time.”
I am rummaging through my locker looking for my math notebook which is nowhere to be found.
“What are you looking for there, James?” Samson asks.
“I can’t find my math notebook,” I say. “I need it!”
“Did you have it yesterday?” Richard asks.
I think back to the last time I used it. “I lent it to Malcolm,” I say. “He must have it.” I shut my locker. “I’ll see you guys in class.”
I rush to Malcolm’s locker. His locker is on the other side of the school from me and when I get to the hallway where his locker is, I stop mid tracks. Malcolm’s there at his locker, but Arya is there too. They are talking to each other, smiling at each other, laughing with each other. He told me he could be just friends with her, he told me he would never do anything with her. But he’s talking to her alone. They’re friends, James, just friends. She playfully slaps him on the arm and then he does some impression of something that makes her laugh. And then an image of them at the party at Lisa’s house comes to my mind.
Why is she here? Why is she laughing with him? If I didn’t know better, I would think they are together. I can’t go there, I can’t.
Arya
“Okay.” I smile at Malcolm. “Can we please be serious now?”
“Of course,” Malcolm says, still smiling. “What did you want to talk about?”
“It’s about James,” I say. “It’s his uncle. He works him too hard and it’s taking a toll on him. And his uncle hates me even though he has never met me. He’s feeding him with these stupid ideas. James almost broke up with me this weekend.”
“Are you serious?” Malcolm says. “He tried to break up with you?”
"Well," I say, "he said how he won't have time for me and then asked me to end the relationship. He's worried that he can't spend a lot of time with me, but I don't care about that. I just care about him and I'm worried about him. I'm worried that his uncle is abusing the power he has over James."
“It’s always been like this, Arya,” Malcolm says. “James feels like he owes his uncle for helping out after his father died and he doesn’t realize that what his uncle asks of him is ridiculous. I’ve tried talking to him before about it, but it hasn’t changed anything.”
"He can't keep going on this way," I say.
“You are the one thing that has brought James back into our world,” Malcolm says. “He’s himself again with you around, but I don’t think it will be easy to break all of his habits.”
“He needs the money for school,” I say. “There has to be something else he can do.”
"I've offered him a job to work for my dad with tree forestry, but he said no," Malcolm says.
“Have you ever met his uncle?” I ask.
"Yes," Malcolm says. "He's actually a nice guy. I guess he's a different person at work."
“How do I help him, Malcolm?” I say.
“I’ve been trying to do that for two years, Arya,” Malcolm says. “You need to tell me how to help him! You are probably the only one he will listen to.”
“He doesn’t,” I say. “He just shuts me out when I talk to him about it.”
“Maybe you need to talk to someone else then?” Malcolm says.
“Who?”
“A certain uncle perhaps?” Malcolm says.
“You want me to talk to his uncle?” I ask.
"Worth a shot," Malcolm says. "He is the root of the problem."
"I knew I should have asked Samson," I say.
“Hey!” Malcolm says. “I’m smarter than all those guys combined!”
“I’m sure.”
James
I head to my locker after second period. Almost everyone has made it to the cafeteria by now, but there are still some people at their lockers. While walking in the hall I see Mia, alone at her locker, which is not something I normally see when walking through this hallway. Whenever I see her at school, she is always with friends. She’s a ray of light, just like her sister.
“Hey!” I say, coming up to her locker.
She looks at me. “Oh, hi James,” she says slowly.
“How are you?” I ask. This girl just confronted the guy who raped her a couple of days ago. He’s physically gone from her life, but the scar he’s left cut deep.
"Fine," Mia says in a voice that I know means the opposite. Rachel may be annoying at times, but she has improved my female communication skills.
"Let's go for a drive," I say.
“What?” Mia finally looks at me.
“A drive,” I say. “It’s lunch hour. Let me put my books away and I’ll meet you out front. Sometimes you just need to get away from it all.”
"You don't need to do that, James," Mia says.
“I know,” I say. “I want to do this. I consider you like one of my sisters and I would do everything in my power to protect them and take care of them. Just like Arya does for you.” She’s hesitant. “I’ll meet you out front.” And then walk away before she can come up with a reason not to come.
***
The car ride starts in silence. I will let her collect her thoughts, stare out the window as long as she wants, and I will be a listening ear when she is ready.
“Will I ever get over it?” Mia asks, staring out the window. “When I came to East Side, I tried to be myself again. Flirting with guys, going out with friends. I tried to be normal again, to erase him and his memory, but it never worked.”
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