by B. A. Paris
04 Aug 14.30
Good work
04 Aug 14.31
Need to get back to work, speak later
04 Aug 14.38
Guess what?
04 Aug 14.39
Thought you had to get back to work
04 Aug 14.39
On my way back to car park saw her coming out of baby boutique
04 Aug 14.39
Baby boutique?
What she doing in there?
04 Aug 14.40
Don’t ask me
04 Aug 14.40
Can you find out?
04 Aug 14.40
Don’t really have time
04 Aug 14.40
Make time
Why would she go into baby shop?
Might be something we can use
We need to use every little thing we can against her
04 Aug 14.41
OK
04 Aug 15.01
You’re never going to believe this
04 Aug 15.01
At last
What took you so long?
04 Aug 15.02
Don’t be grumpy
I bring you good tidings
04 Aug 15.02
Go on
04 Aug 15.02
You’re going to be a daddy!
04 Aug 15.03
WTF???
04 Aug 15.03
Are you sure about vasectomy?
04 Aug 15.03
Of course I’m sure!
What’s going on?
04 Aug 15.03
Search me
She told woman in shop she was pregnant
So have ordered you a pram
04 Aug 15.03
??
04 Aug 15.04
She fell in love with it apparently
Can make her think she ordered it, like alarm
04 Aug 15.04
Not sure it will work twice
04 Aug 15.04
Worth a try
If it doesn’t can blame shop for mix-up
But will need you to be home Friday for delivery
04 Aug 15.05
Ok will take couple of days off
Play concerned husband
Need to think how I can work pram thing
04 Aug 15.06
Wish you could spend couple of days with me ☹
04 Aug 15.06
Our day will come
Btw I nipped back home and changed code on alarm With bit of luck she’ll set it off
04 Aug 15.07
She’s going to have one shit day
04 Aug 15.07
Let’s hope first of many ☺
04 Aug 23.37
How did it go with alarm?
04 Aug 23.38
Wish you could have been here to see it
Police came out
04 Aug 23.38
She really believed she put in wrong code?
04 Aug 23.38
Didn’t even question it
04 Aug 23.38
Taking candy from baby comes to mind
04 Aug 23.39
Incredible isn’t it?
*
06 Aug 23. 45
All set for pram arriving tomorrow?
06 Aug 23.47
☺
06 Aug 23.47
Will you use pregnant thing?
06 Aug 23.47
If I can
*
07 Aug 23.46
Thanks for the pram
07 Aug 23.46
Glad you like it
How did it go?
07 Aug 23.47
So funny
There was massive mix-up
She ordered me a garden shed as surprise
Thought pram was shed at first so were talking at cross purposes
07 Aug 23.47
?
07 Aug 23.47
Don’t worry, it was fine
Said she never ordered pram so I pretended to phone shop
Then threw pregnancy thing at her, said woman in the shop had congratulated me
07 Aug 23.48
What did she say?
07 Aug 23.48
Woman in shop presumed she pregnant so went along with it
07 Aug 23.48
Weird! What about the pram?
07 Aug 23.49
Believes she must have ordered it
07 Aug 23.49
No way!
She’s really screwed up
07 Aug 23.49
Best thing is managed to get her to agree to see doctor Appt tomorrow
07 Aug 23.50
She won’t be pleased you already spoke to him about her What if he doesn’t put her on medication?
07 Aug 23.50
He will. I’ve told him she’s paranoid and highly strung Hopefully her behaviour will confirm it
From the Baby Boutique I head out to the school where I used to work, arriving just as the lunch break is under way. I think of John and my face flushes with guilt at how quickly I’d accused him, even to the point of him murdering Jane. But I still don’t know how innocent he is – he met with Rachel, didn’t he? Jane’s face appears in my mind and the sadness I always feel comes back. But I can’t think about her now, not just yet.
I push open the door to the school’s reception area. The corridors are empty and as I walk along I realise how much I miss it all. I arrive in front of the staff room door, take a deep breath and go in.
‘Cass!’ Connie leaps to her feet, knocking her salad onto the floor, and gives me a huge hug. ‘Oh, my God, how lovely to see you! Do you know how much we miss you?’
Other colleagues crowd round, asking how I’ve been and telling me how pleased they are to see me. After I’ve reassured them that I’m fine, I ask where John and Mary are.
‘John’s on canteen duty and Mary is in her office,’ Connie says.
Five minutes later, I’m on my way to see Mary. She looks as delighted to see me as everyone else was, which is reassuring.
‘I wanted to apologise for letting you all down,’ I explain. ‘First of all, over the Inset day.’
‘Nonsense,’ she says, smart as ever in a navy suit and pink shirt. ‘Your husband gave us plenty of notice so it wasn’t a problem. I’m just sorry that I couldn’t see you when I popped round in the evening with the flowers. Your husband said you were asleep.’
‘I should have written to thank you,’ I say guiltily, because I don’t want her to know that Matthew never gave me the flowers.
‘Don’t be silly.’ She looks cautiously at me. ‘I must say, I didn’t expect to see you looking so well. Are you quite sure you’re not up to coming back? We miss you.’
‘I’d love to come back,’ I say wistfully. ‘But as you know, I’ve been ill. In fact, I think you noticed there was something wrong with me last term.’
She shakes her head. ‘I never noticed anything at all, I’m afraid. If I’d known you felt under such pressure, I would have tried to help. I do wish you’d spoken to me.’
‘But didn’t you tell my husband that you’d noticed me not being on top of things?’
‘The only thing I told your husband, when he phoned to tell me you wouldn’t be coming back, was that you were my most organised and efficient member of staff.’
‘Did my husband tell you why I wasn’t coming back?’
She looks at me candidly. ‘He said you’d had a nervous breakdown.’
‘I’m afraid he exaggerated a little.’
‘I thought he might have, especially when your medical certificate only mentioned you were suffering from stress.’
‘I don’t suppose I could see it, could I?’
‘Yes, of course.’ She goes over to her filing cabinet and flicks though the folders. ‘Here it is.’
I take the paper and study it for a moment.
‘Could I have a copy of this, please?’
She doesn’t ask why and I don’t offer any more information. ‘I’ll get it done for you straightaw
ay,’ she says.
16 Aug 23.52
Good news
I did as you suggested and cut through the woods on the way to Chichester
She had complete breakdown
Called out doctor, he said she must take the pills regularly
16 Aug 23.52
At last!
16 Aug 23.52
There’s more
Says she doesn’t want to go back to work
Think we’re on home straight
16 Aug 23.53
Thank God
Time to get down to final part
Think I can get into house tomorrow?
16 Aug 23.53
Will try and knock her out with pills
But be careful
*
17 Aug 10.45
I’m at the house, she’s completely out of it
How many did you give her?
17 Aug 10.49
2 in orange juice + 2 prescribed
Wondered why she didn’t answer phone
Where is she
17 Aug 10.49
Crashed out in front of television
Have ordered couple of things from shopping channel
17 Aug 10.49
Why?
17 Aug 10.50
Make her think she ordered them
You said she already ordered me earrings so why not
17 Aug 10.50
Don’t overdo it
17 Aug 10.50
☺
*
20 Aug 14.36
You at house?
20 Aug 14.36
Yes, have tidied up a bit
Hopefully she’ll think she did it
If not you can say you did before work and make her feel bad
24 Aug 23.49
Phoned Head this afternoon and told her about nervous breakdown
Said not to expect her back
24 Aug 23.49
What did she say?
24 Aug 23.49
Feels bad that she didn’t see it coming
Wants a medical certificate
*
26 Aug 15.09
How’s life?
26 Aug 15.10
Would rather be in Siena
Machine not delivered, they’ve said Tuesday now
Just ironed you some shirts
26 Aug 15.10
Thanks
Will take you to Siena as soon as all this over
Btw thanks for potato thing
26 Aug 15.11
Glad you like it
You’ll get something else in a couple of days
*
28 Aug 17.21
How’s it going?
28 Aug 17.37
Head wants to come round with flowers
28 Aug 17.38
What did you say?
28 Aug 17.38
Said yes but will tell her C too ill to see her and bin the flowers
Btw got certificate from Dr, only says stress though
28 Aug 17.38
Damn
28 Aug 17.38
No mention of breakdown either
So will forge letter for eod tests
28 Aug 17.39
She’s so gullible sure she’ll believe it
Hope you don’t mind but I ordered some pearls for myself
28 Aug 17.39
You deserve them
*
31 Aug 23.49
How was your day?
31 Aug 23.50
Same old
She didn’t mention meeting you for lunch tomorrow
31 Aug 23.50
Good, means she’s forgotten
Have to be at house for washing machine delivery
So will pretend I’ve come to see why she didn’t turn up
*
01 Sep 15.17
How did it go?
01 Sep 15.18
Machine arrived at 11, she slept all through it
Then rang on door to see why she hadn’t turned up for lunch
Thought she wasn’t going to answer door at first
01 Sep 15.18
How was she?
01 Sep 15.18
Could barely understand her
She’s so messed up, went on about murder, told me about seeing knife
Sounds raving mad
01 Sep 15.19
Good
Plan to tell her tonight that she is
01 Sep 23.27
Did you tell her?
01 Sep 23.28
Yes, still completely out of it when I got home
So took advantage, asked her to put on washing machine
She couldn’t, showed her letter from doctor re eod tests
01 Sep 23.29
How did she take it?
01 Sep 23.29
How do you think?
I leave Mary soon after, promising to keep in touch. As I go out of the front entrance, someone calls my name. Turning, I see John hurrying towards me.
‘Don’t tell me you were going without saying hello,’ he reproaches.
‘I didn’t want to disturb you on canteen duty,’ I lie, because I’m still not sure if he’s friend or foe.
He searches my face. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Good.’
‘You don’t seem convinced,’ I say.
‘I didn’t expect to see you up and about so soon, that’s all.’
‘Why not?’
He looks embarrassed. ‘Well, not after all you’ve been through.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Rachel told me,’ he says awkwardly.
‘What did she tell you?’
‘That you took an overdose.’
I nod slowly. ‘When did she tell you that?’
‘Yesterday. She phoned me here at school and asked if I could meet her for a drink when I’d finished for the day. I was about to refuse – I was afraid she was going to proposition me again – but she said she wanted to speak to me about you. So I agreed to meet her.’
‘Go on,’ I say.
‘We met in Castle Wells and she told me that last week you took an overdose and were rushed to hospital. I felt terrible, and wished I hadn’t taken no for an answer when Matthew told me I couldn’t call round to see you.’
‘When was that?’ I frown.
‘After Mary told us that you’d decided not to come back to work. I couldn’t believe it because, when we’d bumped into each other in Browbury, you hadn’t mentioned anything at all about giving up your job and I felt there was something not quite right. It didn’t seem to add up. Mary said you were suffering from stress and I knew Jane’s murder had been on your mind, but I thought – stupidly, maybe – that I could talk you into changing your mind. But Matthew said you were too ill to see anyone and, when Rachel told me you’d taken an overdose, I couldn’t understand how you’d gone downhill in such a short space of time.’ He pauses a moment. ‘Did you take an overdose, Cass?’
I shake my head quickly. ‘Not on purpose. I took too much of my medication without realising what I was doing.’
He looks relieved. ‘Rachel asked me to tell Mary. She felt that she should know you overdosed.’
‘Did you?’
‘No, of course not, it’s not my place to.’ He hesitates a moment. ‘I know Rachel is a good friend of yours but I’m not sure she’s such a good friend to you. I thought it was really disloyal of her to tell me about your overdose. You need to watch your back, Cass.’
‘I will,’ I say, nodding. ‘If she phones you again over the next couple of days, don’t mention that you’ve seen me, will you?’
‘I won’t,’ he promises. ‘Take care, Cass. Will I see you again?’
‘Definitely.’ I say, smiling at him. ‘I owe you lunch, remember.’
I drive away from the school, happy with everything I’ve achieved so far. I think about going to see Dr Deakin but I doubt whether I’ll get an appointment at such short notice and, anyway, it’s enough to
know that in his opinion I’m only suffering from stress. That might have changed if he’s been informed of my recent overdose but at least I have Rachel’s phone to prove that it was Matthew’s doing and not mine.
For the moment, I can’t allow myself to think about what would have happened to me if I hadn’t been handed the phone, or to think about how the two people I loved best in the world have betrayed me. I’m scared that I’ll be so overcome with grief that I’ll be incapable of doing what I’m determined to do, what I’ve been determined to do ever since I heard Matthew’s voice at the other end of the line in the Spotted Cow, which is untangle their web of deceit. I didn’t need to go and see Hannah this morning, or the woman from the alarm company, or the one from the Baby Boutique or Mary, because everything is there on the phone. But when I woke up I still couldn’t quite believe what they’d done, and because they’ve played so much with my head over the last couple of months, I began to wonder if I’d imagined it, or had maybe misunderstood what I’d read. I didn’t dare read the messages again in case I deleted them by accident or in case Rachel or Matthew came by unexpectedly and found me with the phone. My trip out has allowed me to confirm that it really is as I thought.
It has also made me realise how easy I made it for them. It seems incredible now that I didn’t question anything at all, not the alarm I supposedly ordered, or the pram, or the washing machine I couldn’t use. Everything that happened, I put down to my failing memory. Even losing my car in the car park.
12 Aug 23.37
We need to up our game
12 Aug 23.39
Why?
12 Aug 23.39
She opened champagne earlier
Says she feels a whole lot better, talked about having a baby
12 Aug 23.39
Poor cow
I’ll phone her tomorrow, see what she says
*
13 Aug 09.42
Just phoned her, she didn’t answer
Have you silent called yet?
13 Aug 09.42
Not yet, just about to
Hopefully it will send her back to where we want her to be
13 Aug 09.42
Do you want me to go to house later?
13 Aug 09.43
Yes but be careful
13 Aug 09.43
I always am
13 Aug 14.31
Anything happening?
13 Aug 14.32
No. She’s crashed out in front of telly
13 Aug 14.32
Good, means my phone call spooked her
13 Aug 15.30
Can I leave? Need to go to Castle Wells
13 Aug 15.54
Sorry, was in meeting
You may as well
Make sure no one sees you as you’re meant to be in Siena
13 Aug 15.54
I have blonde wig and jogging pants, remember