The tears escaped her completely, and great racking sobs shook her body as he pulled her close and simply held her, allowing a decade of hidden anguish to find its expression. She was deeply grateful for the gift of his compassion in that moment. When the tears slowed, he gently tilted her face up and kissed her.
“If your father had not already gone to his eternal judgement before God, I would have been hard pressed not to kill the man, at this point. Vee, when he said that he had made sure you couldn’t run away with me – for I can only think that by ‘profligate’s son’ he meant me – I believe that I know what he meant. It wasn’t just that he intended to lock you up and marry you to Caldicot.”
Violetta felt suddenly faint – what else had her father done? Wasn’t what he had done to her bad enough? She twined her fingers with Kit’s, shaking, and asked the question.
“What else did he do, Kit?”
“I have no direct proof, but I believe that my being set upon by those ruffians was no accidental coincidence. It was not, as I have thought for so long, just bad luck that they were prowling the laneways, looking for easy pickings. What I remembered this morning was a fragment of what happened as they beat me. They had me pinned on the ground, and I was barely conscious. One of them pulled the purse from my pocket. He hefted it in his hand and spoke to the other. What he said, as best I have it, was ‘is Lordship didn’ lie when ‘e said there’d be good pickins on ‘im. But now’s we’ve got this, best do as ‘e paid for, and make sure this one’ll not be up t’ much fer a good long time’. Then, just after that, they bent my arm so that it broke – the pain took me to oblivion very fast, and I didn’t really become conscious again, until two weeks later, for every time I came close to it, as James got me home, I passed out again from the pain.”
Violetta lifted her head, meeting Kit’s eyes, weighing those words.
“Then you think…”
“Yes. I think that your father had discovered far more of our plans than we’d realised, and had paid those men to waylay me, to make sure that I could not come for you. And then, when James got me home, my father must have threatened him, until James told him exactly why I’d been in a back alley in the middle of the night. Father turned James off after that – it wasn’t until after Father’s death that I managed to find him, and to employ him again. But I surmise that my father saw his chance, and insisted that the doctor keep me drugged insensible for two weeks, rather than just the first day or so, in the hope that he could prevent me trying to get to you again. Father never approved of my interest in you, for, even as an Earl’s daughter, he thought you beneath me. He was overjoyed when your father solved the problem, by marrying you to Caldicot.”
She tightened her fingers on his
“What… what did you do, when you woke to hear that I was married?”
“Cursed everyone, and everything – but especially you. Because Father told me, gloatingly, that you’d upped and married Caldicot because his estates were far wealthier than ours, and he could give you more, where all I could bring to you was a title and impoverished estates. Father never made sense – in one breath, he’d say you were beneath me, in the next, that it was our impoverished state which drove you away – as if that impoverished state wasn’t his fault in the first place! I was fool enough to believe his words, because it hurt so very much that you were married, and I had lost you forever. I refused to speak to him after all his gloating and, as soon as my arm was healed enough, I took myself off to Italy, and refused to return until Father died. At least the damned doctor set my arm correctly, and I regained full use of it – but then, he should have, for I’m certain that Father impoverished us a bit more by bribing the man substantially.”
Violetta’s world spun, as she considered all that they had just revealed to each other. For ten years, she had despised the man she still loved. For ten years, he had despised her. Both of them blaming the other for something they had not done, had been forced to by someone else.
“Kit… this means…”
“…that we were each right to think that we’d been betrayed…”
“… but not by each other. Our fathers betrayed us. They may not have directly conspired together, but they might as well have, given the end result.”
“Yes.”
“Kit… can you forgive me? For what I believed of you, for what I’ve said to you, this last two weeks? For now that we’ve unravelled this, I see that you are blameless in it all.”
“Vee – I am as in need of forgiveness as you, for what I have believed of you, for what I have said to you. You also were blameless – and suffered far more than I did from everything which happened. Shall we agree to forgive each other, to start again, from this moment?”
“Yes. I forgive you, for everything. Now… please take me to bed, and make me forget that the last ten years existed.”
“I forgive you too, Vee. And I will be delighted to drive you to the brink of madness from pleasure, even as you do the same to me.”
*****
Kit felt almost light-headed. To have all of the pieces of the puzzle, to understand the reality of what had happened, after years of bitter incomprehension, was as if a weight had been lifted from him. Ever since the moment when Vee had come tumbling into the Inn Common Room, he had found himself doubting his own sanity, for so much of what he had ‘known’ and she had said had been contradictory. Now, that disturbing uncertainty was gone. Now he knew the truth – and the truth was both bitter, and far sweeter than he could have imagined.
Most important of all was the fact that she had not abandoned him, had not wilfully used him and left him for someone with more money. And she had forgiven him for his accusations. He gathered her up in his arms, and carried her to the bed, kissing her as he went.
As soon as he set her on her feet beside the bed, she reached to undo his buttons, her wrap falling open, and the thin fabric of her nightrail revealing the shadowy hint of the dark tips of her breasts. His mouth went dry, and he licked his lips, feeling himself harden within his breeches. As Violetta undid the last button of his waistcoat, he undid his falls, releasing his aching hardness from uncomfortable compression.
Her fingers curled around his cock, even as he twisted his way out of his jacket and waistcoat. Breath hissed through his teeth, and instinctively, he thrust himself into her hand. His shirt joined the jacket and waistcoat on the nearby chair, and he reached to push her wrap off her shoulders. For a moment, the warmth of her fingers left his cock, and she dropped the wrap to the floor, then pulled the nightrail over her head and tossed it aside. Together, they stripped him of his breeches, her fingers trailing over his skin as they did so, and her kisses leaving a trail of fire on his skin, down his chest, and to his cock.
When she reached there, and her lips touched its tip, he near exploded on the spot.
“Vee… take care, lest I spend immediately.”
She laughed then, a light, mischievous laugh, and traced the tip of his cock with her tongue, before stepping back. His body jolted with pleasure, and he growled deep in his throat. In one swift movement, he tipped her onto the bed, then, kneeling over her, he began to kiss her breasts, teasing her already hard nipples until she writhed, her hips lifting under him. He lowered his weight a little, keeping her tight against the bed, which meant that every squirming, writhing movement she made rubbed her against the root of his cock. He took her hands, and held them down, above her head, and kept up his kissing, nipping, and sucking, until she thrashed, crying out.
Only then did he release her hands, allowing her to touch him as he kissed his way down her body, and brought his tongue to her bud. Two strokes there, and she cried out, arching up, exploding into her completion. He groaned, feeling his own need building to impossible levels.
Then, as she slowed in her movements, she reached for him.
“Now, Kit. I need you - now.”
Willingly, joyfully, he lifted himself up, then slowly, luxuriating in the exquisite sensatio
n, he thrust himself fully into her. There had never been anyone else for him but Vee – and now, after ten long years away from her, he felt as if he was finally home.
He began to move, and she moved with him, in the dance as old as time, until they reached the peak together, and shattered into bliss.
Chapter Fourteen
Violetta had slipped away to her own rooms before the dawn, regretting leaving the warmth of the bed they had shared. She could, so easily, have simply stayed there – but she was not ready, not yet, for such an obvious act – for servants would notice, and talk. Until she and Kit talked further, until she understood what he wanted, going forward, she would not risk that.
She slept late, and woke feeling pleasantly achy, in all the right places. She would, she decided, take the day slowly, until the evening, when the Yule Log would be lit, and the Christmas celebrations truly begin. Perhaps she would find the chance to speak to Kit privately, or perhaps that would need to wait for the night. It did not matter – what mattered was the fact that they had forgiven each other, that they were free of the trap which their parents had created, and could now make the future what they wished.
Outside, the snow fell again, but softly, slowly, dusting everything with pristine whiteness.
The world looked made anew when she stood at the window to see. It was fitting. Last night, her life had been made new, now the outside world reflected that.
She dressed, and went down to break her fast. In the breakfast room, Dash and Mariel sat companionably together, discussing, from what Violetta caught of the conversation as she entered the room, the translation of erotic texts. She smiled – Mariel really was the perfect woman for her cousin! They looked up as she came in, and she favoured them with a brilliant smile. Dash raised an eyebrow at the expansiveness of it, but said nothing.
“Good morning. I hope that you slept as well as I did.”
“Well… as I can’t know just how well you slept, Violetta, I can’t really answer that. But I slept rather well – I always do, since I married.”
As he finished speaking, Dash exchanged a conspiratorial look with Mariel, and Violetta found herself suspecting that Dash had slept well for much the same reason that she had – pleasure of the body tended to lead to excellent sleep afterwards.
She selected some food from the sideboard, and sat, accepting the tea which the footman offered. They spoke of the plans for the day, and the morrow, and for the first time in her life, Violetta found herself looking forward to the Christmas festivities. It was a very strange feeling indeed. Over the next half hour, various of the other guests trickled in, and the room began to feel crowded. Perhaps a morning in the library was a better idea that staying here, or in the parlour. She wanted to think over last night, to savour it, to consider all of the implications – and light conversation on bland topics was not conducive to such thinking.
The library was, indeed, quiet. So much so that she fell asleep in the big wingbacked chair, her book slipping from her fingers to land on the floor beside her. The previous night’s exertions, however pleasant, had left little time for sleep, no matter how good that sleep had been.
She woke to the sensation of lips on hers, startling awake to find Kit’s green-gold eyes looking into hers. He kissed her again, then drew back.
“So, sleeping beauty, are you now awake enough to converse with me? Or should I leave you to drift back into sleep?”
“What is this? Has my hero come to kiss me from my sleep, just to talk to me? I hoped for something more….”
He settled himself on the arm of the chair, and draped his arm over her shoulders. She leant into him.
“I am sure that I can fulfil that hope, later this evening.”
“Good.”
“But… I actually did want to talk – there is so much that we did not speak of last night. I know a little of your marriage, from what you told me before, and you know that I spent years in Italy, until my father’s death brought me home, but neither of us have spoken of our recent years, in England. I wanted to tell you about that, and to hear of your life.”
She blinked at him, her heart filling with warmth. That he cared enough to even ask such a thing was wonderful. She had not spoken of what went on in her life to anyone. All conversation had been social chatter, the endless filling of her days with nothing important. What had gone on in her mind was vastly different.
“Truthfully, my life has been quiet, since William died. I wore mourning for the requisite year, but that was simply doing what is socially expected. In truth, I was deeply relieved. He left me property, and a decent amount of money, so I have independence, and the title went to his son from his first marriage – who is a reasonable person, and did not complain of what was left to me. Once the mourning was over, I went back to Italy for a few months, to stay in the house he left me there, but I was restless – I came back here to see my brother again, and to see if I could find more purpose in my life. Underneath it all, though, was my bitterness about you – that was what needed to be resolved. I came here when Dash invited me, in the hope of finding some pleasure in Christmas, and also to see him again – he is the only relative, apart from my brother, that I have ever found pleasant.”
“That seems a dreadfully short summary for a matter of years.”
“Nonetheless, it is the truth – I have been remarkably dull.”
“I have also been dull, although in a very different way. Since I returned to England, I have done little but work to restore the fortunes of my estates, to repair the damage, physical and financial, which my father and grandfather’s wastrel ways had done. To give my mother the things she deserves, and to restore my own respect for my family name in the process. I have done that – when I began, I sometimes thought it would take forever, but really, in the face of it, four years is not so long. I was gossiped about, of course, as an unmarried Duke, but the vast majority of it was busybodies looking for something to talk of. Through it all, when my mother asked me when I would marry, I told her that I would not consider it, until our fortunes were restored. On the way here, I was struggling with the fact that, having achieved the restoration, that excuse no longer held.”
Violetta laughed, his expression was rather woebegone.
“And why was it an excuse, for all those years? After all, you always knew that you would need to marry eventually.”
He raised his hand, and lifted her chin so that he looked directly into her eyes. A shiver went through her – his expression was serious, and she felt as if something momentous hung in the balance. She waited, almost shaking. His fingers caressed her cheek.
“It was an excuse, Vee, because if I could not have you, I did not want anyone. I never stopped loving you, no matter what I said, no matter how bitter I was about what I thought you had done. I could not have done that to a woman, could not have offered marriage, when all I could give her was a shell of unemotional interaction, and a title.”
“Many women would be grateful for that much.”
“Perhaps – but that does not make it the right thing to do. I could ask you, Vee, why you have not married again – most women do, for company, for protection from the difficulties of the world – why not you?”
She swallowed, holding his gaze – he had just admitted to still loving her – it was time for her own admission.
“Why did I not re marry? Because I could not have you. I had already lost eight years of my life, tied to a man I did not love – I was not willing to live like that again. I have always loved you, Kit. You, and no one else, no matter what I believed you had done to me. The heart is stubborn. I had hoped, at the start, that I might keep the child I bore, that I might have your child to raise, even if that child had to bear Caldicot’s name, but even that was stolen from me. After that, nothing and no one else would ever do.”
“It seems to me, then, that there is but one option. Now that we have unravelled the truth of past betrayals, now that we have forgiven each other for everything whic
h resulted, now that we have admitted, to ourselves, and to each other, that we bear a love which runs, unabated, across the years, nothing stops us making again, the choice we once made.” Violetta’s mouth was dry, she licked her lips. His eyes followed the movement, and he smiled. “Will you marry me, Violetta?”
For one moment, her heart filled with unadulterated joy. But only one moment. For one issue remained, which could stop them, there was one thing which he had not taken into consideration.
“Kit… I would… but…”
“But what Vee? Why do you hesitate? Please, don’t shatter my heart into fragments.”
“Do you remember what I said, last night, when you asked me if I was carrying your child, that day long ago?”
He frowned, his eyes unfocussing for a moment as he thought. Then his expression cleared a little.
“You told me that you lost the child, and that you had never quickened with another.”
“And that I believed that whatever damage losing that child had done to my body had made me barren. Kit, you are a Duke. You need an heir – and I cannot give you one. If I said yes, if I married you, you would have no child to carry on your legacy. How can I ask you to choose that, no matter how much I want you?”
He shook his head, his fingers caressing her face, then bent down to softly kiss her lips again. She was close to tears, so close to all that she had ever wanted, and yet so far away.
“Vee, I don’t give a damn about getting an heir, one way or the other. My mother might fuss about it, but I will not. My cousin Alfred is next in line for the title, after me, and he’s a decent man, not a wastrel – if I live a long and happy life with you, and then the title goes to him, or his sons, I don’t care. Nothing is more important than you, than the love that we have held true to, through everything. Marry me, Vee, do not deny happiness to either of us, please?”
Christmas with THAT Duke: Regency Romance (Regency Scandals Book 3) Page 11