“Absolutely,” Julie assured her, grabbing her hand. “They had us mixed up with a different wedding.” She laughed. “That’s why Luke and I ran off.” She cast him a warning look that had a hint of ‘thank you’ hidden within. “You weren’t supposed to know.” She turned a softer expression on Lauren. “It’s handled. Everything is handled. You just have to walk down the aisle and marry the man you love.”
She made it sound easy, as easy as it would have been for him to take her right there in that bathroom. He thought of the intensity of her vulnerability, of how quickly she’d shifted from that softer Julie to seductress, and he knew what wasn’t easy at all: figuring out how to crack the mystery that was Julie’s heart. And he was ready to admit that not only did he want to, he intended to.
Chapter Eight
With the rehearsal dinner behind them, Julie and Lauren sat on Lauren’s sofa with a box of double-dutch chocolate cookies. Lauren brushed her hands together to wipe away the crumbs and gave Julie an astute, probing stare. “You seem bothered by something.”
Julie glanced at Lauren, the friend who’d become her sister, emotion welling inside her. “I’m fine.” She forced a smile. “I’m allowed to be nervous over the wedding, but you are not.”
Lauren shook her head. “It’s not the wedding. You’re not yourself.”
Julie shrugged. “Divorce is more depressing than usual with a spectacular wedding in the air.”
Lauren quirked a brow. “That’s a different point of view for you. You’ve always been very unemotional about what you do.”
“Yes, well, Judge Moore’s wife committing suicide really got to me.”
Lauren was quiet a long moment. “Yes, I image it would anyone. They run in our circles. It’s heartbreaking.”
Julie didn’t want to bother Lauren with her concerns over what she thought really happened to the judge’s wife, not the night before her wedding. She waved it off. “A conversation for later. Much later.”
Lauren didn’t look convinced. In fact, she shoved a lock of light brown hair behind her ear and studied Julie more intently. “Leaving the District Attorney’s office to go out on my own with a couple of friends was a huge decision for me. I thought I was fighting for what was right and wrong, but I was tied down by the politics of the office. You didn’t choose divorce. It just happened to you, and Julie, it’s not a good place for you. We both know it messes with your head, even when you pretend it doesn’t.” Julie started to object and Lauren held up a hand. “Don’t deny it, or you’ll make me mad on the eve of my wedding. Look, Julie, why not come with us, and choose what you want to do?”
Julie had already been through this in her head a million times. “The money is good where I’m at.”
“Money isn’t everything.”
“I have no one but me to take care of me,” Julie argued. “It has to be a consideration.”
“You have me, Julie. You will always have me.”
“I know,” Julie said, emotion clogging her throat. But Lauren would have her husband, kids, a future, and even though Lauren wouldn’t say that changed anything, it did. And Julie was happy for her. If anyone deserved a true fairy tale, it was Lauren. Julie smiled. “And I’ll borrow your big grumpy wonderful man to change a light bulb here and there, I promise.”
Julie’s cell phone buzzed with a text and she grabbed it off the table. It was from Luke. Elizabeth moved in with her sister in Jersey after the split. They’re close. Blake has one of our men checking her out and watching her. She’s safe.
Julie quickly typed, Thank you.
Lauren cocked her head. “Speaking of the restaurant and Royce’s family tree. Seems like you have a big Walker man of your own on your hands these days.” She pursed her lips. “Was that Luke texting you?”
Julie was so taken off-guard she just stared at Lauren. Lauren laughed. “It was. I knew it. And so we’re clear, I played along on the whole cake thing, but I didn’t buy it for a minute. You two were in the bathroom doing the–”
“No, we were not!” Julie exclaimed. They’d just come close. “Are you calling Luke a liar, Lauren? That’s rough stuff considering he’s about to be your brother-in-law.”
“Come on,” Lauren prodded, her voice softening. “For once, talk to me about Luke instead of shutting down when I try. Consider it a wedding present.”
Julie pulled her bare feet to the leather couch and rested her chin on her knees. “I can’t talk about what I don’t understand.”
“He matters to you,” Lauren said, and it wasn’t a question.
“He’s about to be your brother-in-law,” she said, avoiding a direct reply. “That’s trouble waiting to happen.”
“You’re both grown adults. You can be around each other if something doesn’t work out.”
Julie snorted. “Adults who break up rarely act like adults.”
“You’re making an excuse to avoid him when you don’t want to avoid him at all,” Lauren said. “And honey, I’ll tell you right now that since the first time you were with Luke, you’ve changed. He’s in your head and you can’t ignore that. Deal with it one way or the other.”
It was true. She’d changed in so many ways. “Since Luke…” Her words trailed off and she zipped her lips. This was not the Julie ‘boo-hoo’ show tonight. She sat up and grabbed a bag of cookies from the table, then smacked the box against the one Lauren had set on the couch. “Eat and let’s talk about your wedding, not me.”
Lauren started to object and Julie added, “Don’t make me go down the road and get Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.”
Lauren held up her hands in acceptance. “I’ll never fit in my dress if you go that far. I’ll eat cookies. Just don’t hide in the bathroom with the best man right before the ceremony, okay? At least wait until after.”
“Fine,” Julie laughed. “After.” And she tried to put Luke out of her mind. But couldn’t. Later, when she and Lauren had snuggled into their beds, with the wedding only hours away, she lay there thinking of him. Of the kisses, the touches, of how he’d said ‘if it’s important to you, then it’s important to me.’
She had no idea what got into her, but she grabbed her phone and typed a text to Luke. Thank you.
He texted back almost immediately. For what?
Still being the kind of man the world needs more of, she thought, but instead she typed, Everything.
And his reply, Anything for you, Sweetheart, gave her a funny feeling in her chest that she didn’t want to try to identify.
***
The wedding was held at Pier Sixty off New York’s Hudson River, the spectacular views enjoyed by all the guests. Julie, like four other girls, was dressed in a pale blue sheath, but only she was allowed in Lauren’s private room before the ceremony.
“What if I trip going down the aisle?” Lauren asked, wringing her hands. “I mean, my father has politicians from all over the country out there.”
Julie’s lips turned up in a smile. “I have no doubt Royce will catch you. And this day isn’t about your father. It’s about you and Royce.”
Lauren nodded. “I know. I know. And when I see him I’ll forget the rest.” She scrutinized her appearance in the mirror, “Are you sure my make-up isn’t too dark?”
Julie walked up to Lauren, carefully avoiding her long skirt, and put her arm over her shoulder. Lauren was a princess in a full, sleek figure-hugging skirt that flared mermaid style. “Look at you,” Julie whispered. “You’re stunning.”
Lauren made a weak effort at a smile. “You think?”
“I know,” she said, her gaze tracing the auburn ringlets around Lauren’s face. “Your hair is so beautiful like this. The diamond-studded headband and sheer veil will be as perfect as the dress.” Julie softened her voice. “He loves you like a man needs to love a woman to marry her. It’s special, Lauren. You two are special together.”
Lauren gave a sad smile. “I wish my mother was alive for today.”
Julie took Lauren’s hand in hers,
thinking of how close Lauren had been to a mother stolen too young by cancer. “She’s here,” Julie said. “She’s here and she approves.”
Lauren turned to Julie and tried to hug her and Julie backed up, waving a finger. “Your hair and your makeup. We hug after pictures.” A knock sounded on the door.
“Five minute warning.”
Ten minutes later, Julie stepped into the foyer outside the wedding venue, slid her arm inside Luke’s in preparation to walk down the aisle. When their eyes connected, she felt it clear to her toes. She felt...something she’d never felt in her life, something unidentifiable.
“You look beautiful,” he murmured softly.
Her lips curved. “You clean up pretty nicely yourself there, cowboy,” she whispered, giving a teasing reference to the redhead’s remark a few nights before.
He chuckled low in his throat. “And tonight is a cold winter’s night.”
She smiled at the inference that she should keep him warm as the music began to play. A short walk later, Julie’s eyes pinched with tears as she watched the faces of the bride and groom fill with love. For the first time in her life, she believed in marriage.
***
The bride did not fall down as she had feared but the bride’s maid of honor did cry. Julie stood inside the elegant reception hall. It was filled with tables decorated in the same shades of blue and white silk that framed the ceiling-to-floor windows overlooking the river. There was a fire burning in a corner stone hearth, and long tables of food lined the walls, the scents of yummy treats lacing the air. The entire scene held a romantic, warm feeling as perfect as the couple who had just been married.
Feeling emotions she found more than a little unsettling, Julie watched as Lauren and Royce had their picture taken for the millionth time since the day started. They were happy, in love, and ready to be alone. A person would have to be blind to miss the scorching eye contact the two kept making.
She walked to a window, a sense of happiness and loneliness filling her that was at odds with the hundreds of people around her. She never spoke to her mother, and hadn’t seen her father since she was a small child. Her grandmother was dead. She was alone.
“What are you thinking?” Luke said stepping up beside her as he settled his hand on the small of her back. A shiver of awareness rushed down her spine. He had taken advantage of every chance he could to touch her throughout the events of the day and she couldn’t say that she was sorry.
She turned to face him, carefully masking her emotions. “That they really love each other.”
Luke looked at his brother and new wife who stood not far away, and then back at Julie. “Yes,” he said thoughtfully. “I believe they do.”
She looked down, breaking eye contact with him as her mask started to slip. Luke made her feel things she didn’t understand. These last few days she’d been one big bubble of out of-character emotions.
Luke gently tipped her chin up making her look into his eyes. “You okay?”
He was so confident, so sure of who and what he was. She’d thought she was, too, but her world was spinning out of control, and she barely recognized herself right now. A part of her wanted to let go for the first time in her adult life and lean on Luke, but the past few days reminded her how important it was to stand on her own. He made her forget that, and she couldn’t afford to forget.
“I’m just...tired,” she said, turning away from him again, before she said something she’d regret. She stared out at the water rather than into his soft brown eyes. They made her want to throw caution to the wind and just get lost in him. But Luke did what Luke always did. He refused to be dismissed.
The call for the cake cutting was announced on the microphone.
“Come,” Luke said and took her hand. “We can’t miss the cake. You like sweets too much for that.” He pulled her along with him and even put a huge clump of his icing on her plate. She laughed and gave him a chunk of her cake. That he knew her so well, and she him, made her chest feel funny.
When it came time for the bride and groom to dance, Luke slipped his arm around her waist. “We’re next.”
A few moments later she was on the dance floor, in his arms, their bodies so close their legs brushed, the heat of his body seeping into hers. “This is where you belong,” he murmured near her ear.
“On a dance floor?”
“Anywhere in my arms,” he murmured softly.
Her breath hitched in her throat, and fell from her lips on his name. “Luke–”
His lips pressed closer to her ear, his voice low and raspy. “You know I’m not letting you go home alone tonight. It could be dangerous.”
He was dangerous, but she didn’t say that, because, well, she couldn’t speak. The music turned slow and seductive and his hands settled possessively on her lower back, his hips nestled more firmly against hers. Her eyes fluttered shut as she rested her head on his chest. For just a few minutes, she wanted to forget the future, and the past. She wanted to simply enjoy the man who held her.
Laughter beside them drew their attention, breaking the sweet spell she burned to hold onto. Julie lifted her head and shared a moment of regret with Luke before turning toward the noise.
Blake was dancing with a rather tipsy, bosomy, redhead, and Julie wondered what it was about red haired women this past week.
“Hey, Luke,” Blake said and inclined his chin at Julie. “Julie. This is Farah.”
The woman smiled at Blake. “Sarah,” she said, “But for you honey, I’ll be Farah or whoever you want me to be.”
“That’s how I like my women,” Blake teased. “Agreeable.” He grinned at Julie. “Well, I guess I’ll make an exception for you and Lauren, Julie. Neither of you are ever agreeable.” Then he winked and twirled the woman in his arms into the crowd.
Julie shook her head laughing softly. “Fast cars and fast women, eh?” she asked.
Luke nodded and smiled faintly. “That’s my brother.”
“Not you?”
“No,” he said, a solemn quality to his voice. ”I’m not like Blake. I’ve had my share of fun, but I was never like him. Like I said, Blake has something very personal he’s dealing with that is his story to tell, not mine, but it seems to have impacted about how he feels about relationships. A lot like you, Julie.”
Julie stiffened, feeling instantly defensive. “Don’t pretend to know what motivates my actions.”
He stared down at her, unblinking in his assessment of her features. “You’re saying I’m wrong?” he asked with a soft challenge in his tone. “I don’t think so.” Julie tried to push out of his arms. “Don’t go.” His expression was intense, his jaw tight. “I just want you to let go, Julie. I just want you to let me in.”
The song ended and again, Julie tried to step out of his arms, but he held her firmly. “Running again?”
“I never ran,” she whispered, as the new song started to play, and she seemed to have lost control of her tongue because she said, “You left.”
“Not by choice,” he insisted. ”And you sure didn’t stop me.”
“You had to leave,” she argued.
“That’s my point,” he said. “Yet, you threw it out there like I chose to go.”
He had. He’d chosen to leave without asking for more, without fighting to stay in contact. She didn’t want to talk about this. She didn’t want to care, to remember, to...
They were standing in the middle of the dance floor, the only ones not moving, and she was acutely aware of how close they were to making a scene. “If we are going to stand here, then let’s dance.”
He pulled her close again, wrapped his arm fully around her waist, their bodies beginning to sway. “I’m not leaving this time. You have to deal with me.”
She didn’t even know what to say to that. “Deal with you?” she challenged.
“That’s right,” he said. “I’m here, sweetheart. What are you going to do with me?”
What was she going to do with him? A part of
her reveled in that question, the part that had wondered at his desire for her, the part that still didn’t understand what he wanted from her or what she wanted from him. The answer had seemed so simple at one point. She’d have an affair with Luke, she’d enjoy him and send him off to the Navy. Now, she didn’t know.
“I think I’d prefer to contemplate that with a glass of champagne in my hand.”
He stopped moving, his expression unreadable as he stared down at her. Without a word, he drew her hand in his, and led her toward a bar. When he handed her a tall glass filled with bubbling liquid, she said, “You really don’t have to stay by my side all night, Luke. I know there are plenty of people who want to see you.”
“Trying to get rid of me?” he asked as he focused his eyes on hers. “That’s not the way to deal with me, I promise you.”
“No,” she said as her pulse kicked up a beat. “I’m not trying to get rid of you, Luke.” She was shocked at how much she meant the words, how much she didn’t want to get rid of him, how much she didn’t want him to let her get rid of him.
His eyes softened instantly. Her surrender had been clear, his approval certain. He set his glass down. Then he took hers and set it down as well. “Come with me.”
She let him lead her to wherever he intended, shocked when the destination was his mother’s side.
“Mom, you know Julie, of course.” His hand stayed on her back as if they were a couple.
His mother, Eleanor Walker, smiled. There was sweetness to her features, a softness that spoke of happiness. She was a pretty woman even in her sixties, her brown eyes so like Luke’s they were spellbinding.
“Yes,” Eleanor said, smiling. “You look lovely Julie. I am so glad Lauren has such a good friend, and you did a marvelous job helping with the wedding.” Her gaze slid to Royce and Lauren and she sighed. “Royce can be such a hard man, but when he looks at Lauren I see softness and love.” Her gaze moved to the happy couple for a moment, and then flickered across to Luke and Julie. “What’s your story, dear? Are you from here? And where are your parents?”
Dangerous Secrets Page 7