He scrolled to his inbox to check the texts from his wife. There were five of them. All of them had the same tone of anxiety and worry:
Baby, please where are you?
That was two nights ago. It was followed by another:
Please pick up my calls, I’m worried about you. Aren’t you coming home?
Yesterday’s texts were about work and then her wish to talk:
Cliff has been asking for you. He said Roger wants you at the office immediately.
Please I just want to talk. I’m considering doing another test, maybe a scan too. It’s possible the doctor made a mistake. Baby you know I can’t cheat on you.
Aaryn is missing you. She’s throwing tantrums.
The last message tugged hard at his heart. Staying away from his daughter was one of the most idiotic things he had ever done.
He was thinking of going back home when he played the voice note.
“Daddy, please come and play with me.”
The moment it ended he went out to tell Rosa that he was going back home that morning.
21
Johnson was in her office when she walked in that morning. He sat with his legs on her desk showing off his Italian shoes which had been polished to gleaming proportions. Her brother loved the good things in life.
He brought down his legs and kept his newspaper on the table. “We need to talk.”
“About?” Alana had a frown on her face as she dropped her bag on the desk.
Almost immediately the secretary walked in with her coffee.
“Thank you.” she said taking it from her. She had no secretary yet, so sometimes she made use of Johnson’s.
“What do you think?” Johnson leaned forward in the chair with a scowl on his face. He was in the big brother mode, ready to handle his kid sister’s problem and clean up her mess.
“Mmh,” Alana sighed. The coffee was as creamy as she wanted it, perfect; the best way to start what was already shaping up to be a bad day. She sat in the only chair in front of her desk and kept her eyes on the dark, steaming liquid in the mug. The mug was one of the first gifts Brad had gotten her. It had the love shape in a red shade on its side. Her heart panged, however, when she realized that she couldn’t enjoy the coffee due to the caffeine. To make matters worse, if the DNA test showed that Greg was the father, she wouldn’t be enjoying Brad too much longer either.
“What are you going to do about the pregnancy?” Johnson asked, as if he was reading her mind.
She tried to choose her words carefully. “I’ve got some things in the works.”
His nose wrinkled. “Things in the works? I could talk to Brad for you.”
“What will you tell him?”
“Stuff. Just leave it to me.”
“What will you tell him?”
“What I think he needs to hear.”
“Which is?”
Johnson licked his lips. “I took you to my clinic and fresh tests were run. Turns out the first was a mistake. You aren’t pregnant after all.”
“Yeah,” Alana nodded her head. “Brilliant plan. And when my tummy starts to bulge, I’ll tell him it’s all the food I’ve eaten that’s swelling it up.”
“Well, your tummy won’t have to bulge.”
“What?”
She glared at him. Not surprisingly he met her eyes with a cool stare.
“No-no-no-no,” Alana stood up. “Listen to yourself.”
“I did and what I’m suggesting is for the best.”
“I’m not going to have an abortion just because the doctor perhaps made a mistake.”
“Then find out who the hell his father is.”
“I told you. It has to be Brad.”
“Who is he? The Holy Spirit?”
Alana opened her mouth to fire back a retort but closed it when she realized how outlandish her claim was. It wasn’t Brad. It couldn’t be him. But it could be Greg. She scooted back further in her seat after placing the coffee mug on the table in front of her.
“Look,” Johnson rose to his feet. “You fucked up. Big time. Now I don’t know why you are keeping the guy’s identity secret. No one is going to kill him. I for one, I’m not violent. Brad is too level-headed for that kind of shit.”
“There is no other guy, Johnson.”
He ignored her and went on. “All I’m trying to do here is to help. You hurt a man. You can remedy that. Take away his shame.”
“My baby isn’t a shame.”
Oh God. She was barely two months pregnant and she was already fiercely protective of the baby; a baby whose father she didn’t even know.
“There is still time. Maybe it will help to show him that you are remorseful.”
“I didn’t do anything with anybody other than Brad.”
“You keep saying that. I wonder why…”
“You think I am a slut?”
“Don’t put words in my mouth. One misadventure is enough to get one knocked up.”
“Get out of my office!” She screamed.
He shrugged and walked round the desk to the door.
“You know,” he turned around, “You know that mom is aware of this right?”
Alarm bells went off in her head. “You told her about it?”
“No, silly. All she knows is that you are pregnant. I don’t think she’ll be pleased if she hears about the details of the pregnancy. Take care of it now,” he said in finality.
He strode out of her office.
22
The day went by in a blur of figures that ran cavorted about on the screen of her PC, playing a strange game of hide and seek that did not make any sense to her. By the time the digital clock on her table showed 5:00pm, her head was beginning to throb with all the effort she’d had to make to catch those figures and stuff them into columns and rows where they would all make sense.
There were still more of them to grapple with, products of the hours she spent away from her desk. Alana tried to motivate herself to stay back and tackle them, but the thought of Aaryn waiting at the daycare center pulled her out of her chair and got her on the move, out of the office. Maybe she would get her and bring her back here so she would be able to throw in a couple more hours. Or not.
“I can’t wait til this stupid test is over,” she muttered. The blood test was scheduled for the next day, and Greg had agreed to participate. She couldn’t believe he was still denying that anything happened that night. Once the results came in, he would have no choice but to tell the truth.
And then what?! Her mind screamed. Once Greg was proven to be the father, then what? Have him arrested for rape? Divorce Brad and try to work things out with Greg? Then what, Alana? She shook her head, her mind reeling from the confusion.
She went out the door hurried to the stairs hoping she wouldn’t meet her brother. His office door was closed, and his secretary was busy on the phone when she walked past so she didn’t. But at the stairwell she was accosted by Grace who was also on her way down.
“Sometimes work can be a bitch,” Grace said.
“What’s the matter?” Alana asked her.
“I can’t believe this is the first time I’m seeing you today, Sis.”
“Oh, I’ve been in my office all day.”
“You were not in when I checked your office.”
“I came in a bit late.”
“Again? What’s going on with you?”
“Aaryn is giving me problems, she’s having problems settling at night.”
“Sorry Sis,” Grace rubbed her arm gently as they descended the stairs, “But then she’s still preferable to my Alex.” Grace rolled her eyes.
“Mom told me he’s been skipping school.”
Grace frowned. She didn’t want to talk about it. “I saw Johnson in your office this morning.”
Alana tensed. She could only hope Grace was not going to start asking her what they discussed.
“You guys are having these secret meetings again.”
“Secret meetings?”
>
They were at the end of the first flight of stairs.
“Uh-huh,” Grace said. “Who’s he firing this time?”
The question confused her. “Johnson wants to fire someone?”
“Come on, don’t play dumb.”
“I’m not.”
“The last time he discussed stuff with you in secrecy, Silas found himself on the streets.”
Silas was a family friend who had started to embezzle money the moment he got appointed as head of the purchasing department by their late father. The first thing Johnson had done as manager was to fire him, and the other person he had consulted before making that decision was Alana.
“Oh,” Alana said again. That seemed to be the most prominent word in her vocabulary this evening. “Um… nobody is getting sacked.”
“Oh yeah?”
“As far I know nobody is getting fired.”
“Well then, what were you two discussing?”
They were downstairs now. There were other staff down at the lobby. A good number of them were gathered around one of the sticker boards on the wall reading a notice.
“What’s that?” Alana asked Grace, indicating the board.
“The holiday scheduling.”
“Okay.”
Grace held her hand as they walked out to the parking lot. It was as if she was afraid Alana would run away without answering her question. “You haven’t told me.”
“It’s not something I want to talk about now,” Alana said.
“Alana! Seriously?” Grace left her hand and stopped to glare at her. “You are now keeping things from me?”
“Look…” Alana sighed. “I’ll tell you later.”
“What happened to now?”
“Well now won’t work,” Alana snapped. “What’s with you?”
“I should be asking you that. I asked Johnson to tell me what you two discussed in the morning and he told me to ask you.”
“Oh dear.” Alana held her head.
“Are you now running the company on his behalf?” Grace asked. “Is that why you two are keeping me out of the loop?”
“We weren’t even discussing work stuff,” Alana said.
“You weren’t?”
“No we weren’t.” Alana began to fish around in her handbag for her car key. “Look it was personal stuff, okay?”
“Personal stuff you can tell Johnson but not me?”
“Yes.” She found the key and started going to her car. It was an aqua metallic Honda Civic. “I’m going now sis. See you later.”
She unlocked the car from her keypad and it chirruped. Grace’s eyes bore holes into her as she opened the door on the driver’s side and climbed in. Alana kept her eyes on the steering wheel as she started the car.
“Keeping secrets from me won’t help you,” Grace said.
Alana chose not to reply and instead focused on moving the gear stick into reverse and backing out of her parking space.
***
When she got to the day care center, she was told that Aaryn had already been taken home by her father.
“Her father? My husband?”
“Mr. Brad Saunders.”
“Brad came here?”
Mrs. Meryl looked at her with a reassuring smile. “Yeah.” she ran the place with her husband. “You should have seen the way the girl whooped when she saw him.”
Alana smiled sadly. So he was back in town already. But he hadn’t called.
“Can you tell me what time he come for her?”
“Sure…,” Mrs. Meryl paused to check her wrist watch. “I think fifteen minutes ago.”
“Oh. Okay,” Alana said thoughtfully. “Okay then. See you tomorrow.”
“Drive safely and see you tomorrow,” Mrs. Meryl said and waved.
Alana walked back to her car with unsteady legs. Brad was back. She wondered how she would face him now. All the time he stayed away from the house she had been desperate for him to come back. Now he was back and she was no longer sure.
In the car a distressing thought came to her mind. What if she got to the house and found out that he wasn’t there? Maybe he picked Aaryn up so he would take her with him to Mississippi. The thought made her panic briefly before she called her senses to order. Brad was definitely not that kind of person.
“He’s not like that,” she repeatedly told herself as she entered her car. Yet her heart beat in a dramatic fashion as she slotted the key into the ignition and turned it. “He’s not like that.”
She picked up her phone and dialed his number. Just like the other times the call went unanswered. She slammed the door shut and stepped down on the accelerator.
23
The twenty-minute drive back home took only twelve minutes. It was a wonder she was not pulled over by any cop until she got home. Not that she wanted to get stopped.
As she drove, she prayed in her heart, God please let him not, let him not. Brad was not like that. But then until a week ago he had never walked out on her. He had never ignored her calls, or her texts, and he had never neglected Aaryn except for work related issues.
Everything had changed. Some of those things that had been practically inconceivable in their relationship were now possible. It saddened her even more.
God please let him not, let him not.
Alana’s upbringing was one that had instilled in her an abhorrence for uncouth language. If it were not so, a lot of the drivers she passed on the road would have gotten a good dose of it. There was the idiot who chose to drive in the middle of the lane, going slow enough to waste other people’s time and taking up enough room to ensure that no one could get in front of him.
There was also the moron who stayed close to fifteen seconds after the red light had turned to green because she was making a call and had not noticed. Having to roll back the car and go around her was painful because it meant more time wasted. Alana bit her lip and swallowed the curses that crouched on the tip of her tongue.
By the time she got to the house she was breathing hard as if she had been running a marathon and Brad’s car was parked out on the street. She sighed in regret. She shouldn’t have thought so little of him. Maybe he was missing their daughter and had decided to get her from the center. Or he had listened to the voice note.
One sure thing however was that he had not come back to his senses. If he had, he would have answered her calls.
She steered the car up the drive and stopped at the garage door. The garage had room for only one car. So his car always spent the night on the driveway while her Honda stayed in the garage. They had been planning to enlarge the garage for a while now, but the fact that this part of Boston was peaceful, with no records of break in’s and car thefts made it possible for them to not rush into starting that project.
Alana got down from the car and unlocked the garage door with her key and let it roll up. She wished it was automated. Having to bring it down again after driving in was not something she looked forward to.
***
Brad and Aaryn were in the kitchen eating when Alana walked in. She entered the house through the door that connected the house to the garage and stopped in her tracks when she saw him spoon-feeding Aaryn Frosted Flakes. He was smiling at her and murmuring endearments as if he hadn’t abandoned her to go and sulk.
The temptation to ignore him crept in. She was sure that Brad had seen her, but he didn’t even look in her direction. Not even when Aaryn saw her and called out, “Mommy!”
“Baby girl, I missed you.”
Alana walked up to where they were seated at the table and kissed Aaryn on the forehead.
“Mommy daddy’s home,” Aaryn said.
“I can see that baby,” she said, ignoring Brad.
The little girl was all smiles now. A stark contrast to the girl who had been intent on bawling her eyes out earlier in the morning. Alana left the kitchen and went upstairs.
Her first port of call was the bathroom. The moment she dropped her bag on the bed and shed her clothes
she went in and filled the bathtub. The next one hour was spent soaking in the warm water. What was missing was a glass of wine, a good book and candle light. She had done it once, in the week Brad traveled. The only bad part of the whole arrangement was when the book fell in the water. At that point she had decided that it would be better to simply lay back and close her eyes. Whenever the wine in the glass called her, she would take a sip and go back to her position.
Now she considered doing it again. It was one of the best ways to relax after a hard day. The only problem was that her hard day had not ended. It was only about to get harder. Plus, she couldn’t have the wine because she was pregnant. She closed her eyes and focused on breathing deeply and clearing her mind of all thoughts. Meditation had never been her thing. But once in a while, whenever she was out of sorts and Brad was not available to give her a foot rub or a massage, she made an attempt at it. Invariably it helped to settle her thoughts.
It was seven pm when she finally came downstairs.
Brad was on a sofa in the living room watching the evening news with Aaryn fast asleep in his arms. She didn’t say a word to him. Instead she made her way to the kitchen to prepare dinner for herself. Ten minutes of sitting at the table and staring at the brown walls of the kitchen were enough to convince her that she had no appetite. It was strange. It was on days like this that she ordered Chinese take-out and wolfed down the food in five minutes or less, much to Brad’s pleasure. He would egg her on, running a silly commentary as he watched her attack the food with fervor while abandoning his own food.
Today, there was no Chinese take-out and Brad was not in the kitchen with her. He was on the other side of a fat wall that had risen from the ground to stand between them.
24
He woke her up the next morning with his knocking.
Confusion welcomed her back to reality as she opened her eyes. The first thing she did was check the other side of the bed for him. Just as she feared, it was empty. He was still in the living room last night when she retired to the bedroom. She had fallen asleep waiting for him and hoping he wouldn’t decide to sleep in the guest room.
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