“I don’t know if he was bad, so much as he was just uninformed. Or lazy—actually no. He was bad.” Xeni thought of the times she’d tried to explain to Patrick what her body wanted and how he would just ignore her and do whatever he could to get off. “I’ve had a couple flings here and there, but that became too much work and then I just didn’t feel like going through with emotionless hook ups.”
“And with Daryl, things will be more routine.”
Xeni laughed, “Exactly. I don’t know what I want or like beyond the standard because I’ve never been with anyone that I feel like I could explore those things with. I want to feel comfortable enough to try some real freaky shit with a partner or just spend all day laying around, making out. I want to actually enjoy myself and not feel like sex is something I’m supposed to do.”
“That sounds more than reasonable to me.”
“What about you?”
“When I look forward to the future, I think of my neighbor Darlene. She’s a widow, who’s vowed never to remarry. I’ve been married once, of course, to a beautiful woman from California, but after she left me, I couldn’t bear to love again,” Mason said.
“Mmmhmm.”
“Darlene and I strike a deal. We meet every Tuesday and take turns doing each other up the bum.”
“I like that. Peak equality.” Xeni watched the side of Mason’s face. She waited for at least a trace of a smile to appear, but when it didn’t after a few seconds, she realized she wasn’t the only person in the car who hadn’t exactly been sexually satisfied over the years.
“Listen, I’ve never pegged a guy before, but if you’re willing to teach, I’m willing to learn.”
Mason was quiet for a few more seconds before he said, “I don’t think they have what we need at Home Depot.”
Xeni pulled out her phone and went to a website that might have equipment that was more Mason’s speed.
14
By the time Xeni ordered everything they needed, she was very much into the idea of pegging Mason. He made a simple “good morning” sensual as fuck. She was sure he could handle giving her a few pointers. The more she thought about it, the more the idea turned her on. When they pulled into Mason’s parking space behind the cafe, she couldn’t help but wonder how much packing they would actually get done.
All of it, the responsible part of her brain said. Right. Adult now. Have reward sex later. They hopped out of his car, then Mason nodded toward the wooden steps that led up to his apartment.
“Do you want to come up or hang out down here while I get ready?” he asked.
“I’ll wait down here,” Xeni replied. Her voice did that weird squeaky thing. Being in close range of a naked Mason wasn’t the best idea at the moment. He definitely noticed, but he just smirked a bit instead of giving her a hard time.
“The cannery is open. You should say hi to Maya and Ginny. Try some of the samples.”
“Oh, good idea.” She could ply her mom with regional honeys and jams while she explained that, even though she had gotten married without telling her parents, they still weren’t even for a lifetime of secrets. Mason gave her hand a little squeeze, then bounded up the stairs, two at a time. Xeni walked around to the front entrance and noticed the red dog and the pit bull that were napping under a nearby tree. She remembered what Liz had said about the dogs following her everywhere. She was probably inside.
The bell above the door rang out when she stepped into the cannery.
“Welcome,” she heard a voice call out. She stepped around a rack of postcards and spotted Ginny behind the cash register. “Oh, it’s you.” Ginny leaned against the counter and flashed her a knowing smile. “Xeni, hello.”
“Oh god. Here we go.”
“Babe!” Ginny yelled. “Get out here.” A big swinging door behind the counter flew open and out popped Maya sporting a green McInroy Farm apron.
“What—oh, hello.”
Xeni rolled her eyes. “Go ahead.”
“Did you happen to bring our sweet Mason home this morning?” Maya asked.
“I did. He’s upstairs right now.”
“You know, when he told me you guys were getting fake married for real, I thought it was just a legal formality and then yesterday I saw a certain someone had never left the property.”
“I was too tipsy to drive.” Which was a complete lie. She’d spent most of the night drinking the lemon-berry punch Liz had bought for the reception. The two beers she’d had over the course of the night weren’t enough to get her close to tipsy, but they didn’t need to know that.
“Mmmhmm,” Maya went on. “And then imagine my surprise when I called our darling Mason to see if you guys wanted to join us for game night and his response was a measly. ‘Can’t Come. Busy’.” The air quotes she used really added to the drama of it all.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Xeni replied. She made her denial all the more convincing with a casual shrug of her shoulder. “I needed some work done over at my aunt’s house. You know, light plumbing, some electrical. He offered to help.” All night.
“Yeah, I bet he was over there checking the pipes,” Maya said under her breath.
“I’m just saying, if you two are going to be sleeping together, you can at least give us the juicy details. We might both be super gay, but we’re here for the gossip,” Ginny said.
“Seriously. It’s all been very platonic. Very boring.”
“Whatever, Xeni. Just admit you are participating in ho behavior. I’m not judging. I’m here for it,” Maya said. She leaned over the counter and held up her hand to give her a high five. Xeni rolled her eyes, but slapped her palm anyway.
“Is it ho behavior if we’re married?” she asked.
“I knew it!” Ginny said. “They’re doing it.”
Xeni looked up as the door to the kitchen pushed open again. Liz backed in, carrying a plate of biscuits. “Okay, I’m done. This kid keeps kick—oh. Hello, Xeni.” She set down the pastries and shot Xeni the same knowing smile.
“Come on. Let me have it,” Xeni replied.
“Oh no. If you’ve been here for more than four seconds I know these two have already tried to climb all up in your business. I mean, we all want to know if you and Mason are sleeping together. Aside from that, how are you?”
“I’m okay. Better, thank you.” She felt a bit of relief just saying the words out loud. There were still all kinds of emotions shoved below the surface, but she was starting to feel more like herself. “We’re gonna start packing up the house today.”
“If you need help hauling boxes tomorrow, let me know,” Liz said. “Silas can come over and help. He’s good at the heavy lifting.”
“I’ll let you guys know, thanks. I actually wanted to grab some jam and honey for my mom.”
“Oh please, step over to our tasting bar,” Ginny said as she motioned to the end of the counter with a flourish. They’d arranged a rather large assortment of items to taste. Xeni didn’t know where to start.
“Try the lavender honey,” Ginny suggested. “Or the Family Jam. Those are our best sellers.” She uncapped a cute little jar, then swirled a little wooden tasting stick in the thick dark red jam and handed it to Xeni. It was like a berry explosion on her tongue.
“Oh man, that’s good.”
“And try this.” Ginny moved further down the bar and dipped a fresh stick in one of the dozens of jars of honey.
The lavender flavor was downright sensual. “Jesus. Is everyone in this place a culinary master?”
Suddenly the air in the cannery grew still. Xeni took a step back as Liz, Ginny and Maya all converged on the edge of the counter.
“Did Mason cook for you?” Liz asked slowly.
“Yes…”
Maya threw her hands in the air and turned to face the wall. “Wow.”
“What? Did he poison me?”
“Mason doesn’t just cook for anyone,” Liz replied.
“More like Mason hates cooking with the fire o
f ten thousand suns,” Ginny said.
Maya pointed toward the wall the cannery shared with the cafe. “If he isn’t cooking in that kitchen, he’s not cooking,” she said, mocking his accent. Xeni tried not to snort and failed.
“Maybe one of you should have married him first.”
“Shit, if I knew he was cooking, I would have asked him to join our throuple,” Maya said. “But, for real. He hates cooking. A lot.”
“So, why is he running the cafe?”
The bell over the cannery door rang out and in walked Mason. He smiled at Xeni and then immediately his expression dropped.
“Have they convinced you to join their coven?” he asked.
“No, but the fact that you cooked for me seems to be a big deal.”
“What did he make?” Maya asked.
“A delightful seafood alfredo,” Mason said, glaring back at her.
“Wow, Mason. Wow,” Ginny said. “I am, like, seriously wounded.”
“None of you have the right to question what goes on in my marriage.”
“Oh, good lord,” Liz groaned. “We’ve created a monster.”
“So, when are you making your move here official, Xeni? If he’s letting you taste the goods, this is forever shit right here,” Maya said, motioning between them.
“I didn’t say a word about tasting any of your goods,” she made very clear to Mason before she turned back to the mischievous expression on Maya’s face. “And no, as much as I’d love for this to be the location for a full on mid-life crisis, I have to get back to L.A..”
“That’s a shame. I was hoping you could slip us some leftovers.”
“I don’t know what’s happening here, but I don’t want to be in the middle of it,” Xeni laughed nervously.
“Nothing is happening here. Silas pays me to cook in the cafe. He pays these two to run the cannery and—” he stopped himself before he got to Liz.
“And he what?” Liz said, putting her hands on her pregnant belly.
“Anyway. Are you ready to go?” Mason asked Xeni before he got himself into some real trouble.
“Yeah. Can I come back later for the honey and some jam? I want to take more time to look around.”
“Of course,” Ginny said. “We’re open seven days a week.”
“Okay, great. I’ll make sure to stock up before I go.”
“The Mrs. is going join me tonight to look after Princess P, if that’s okay,” Mason asked Liz.
“Oh, sure. She’ll love that.”
“Wait,” Ginny asked. “What happened to your rings?”
“Saints, woman! Xeni can we please go?” Mason pleaded.
“Sure. Bye ladies.” Xeni grabbed Mason’s hand and pulled him to safety outside the cannery.
“Do I want to know what that was all about?” Xeni asked when they got in the car.
“They just like to give me a hard go because I never cook for them. I spend most of my life behind a stove. I’m not gonna do it for fun or for free,” Mason said as they pulled out of the farm. “But for you, love, I’d do anything.”
Xeni wasn’t sure how to take this bit of information. She was flattered, but she didn’t want Mason to cook for her if it was something he hated.
“You don’t have to cook for me anymore. I can cook for myself and I’m sure there’s some interesting local restaurants I can try out while I’m here.”
“Whatever you like.”
“Are you okay?” She thought everything was all jokes back in the cannery, but a cloud seemed to have settled over Mason.
“Just an email from home.”
“Oh.”
“It’ll be fine. I just need a few minutes. Thank you for asking if I’m alright.”
“You’re welcome. Take all the time you need.” Xeni settled into the quiet and watched the scenery as they drove back into town.
When they reached Dunkin’ Donuts, Mason felt like he’d done enough sulking. He knew his mum meant well, but her periodic requests that he try to make things right with his father were never welcome. She knew better than anyone the way his father treated him. He understood that she wanted peace between them, but now, especially after he was able to unburden himself to Xeni, he knew he didn’t want to go back to what was waiting for him in Edinburgh. He deserved better.
He put his car in park and took a moment to choose his next words wisely. Xeni was being very patient with him and he didn’t want his mood to ruin their day.
He looked over and she was looking back at him, her fingertips worrying her bottom lip. Mason held out his hand, palm up. Xeni looked down, considering his offering.
“You want another twenty?” she teased, but that didn’t stop her from lacing her free hand with his. He lifted it to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of her palm. “I told my friend Sloan about you last night.”
“How’d that go?”
“Good. She thinks ya cute.” She flashed him an adorable smile and he wondered what the fine would be if they were arrested for getting down in front of a Dunkin’ Donuts at ten in the morning. “I think I have to tell my other friends soon. That’s a hell of a secret to drop on just one person in the clique. All of your friends know and you see how badly they’re behaving.”
“I’ll take it as a compliment if you want to brag to your friends about me.”
“I’ll consider it. You cool off a little?”
“I did. Being around you makes it easy.”
“Flatterer.”
“Do you want to get real rings?” he asked, surprising himself a little.
“Oh, I—”
“Think about it while we get some breakfast.”
“Okay.” They went inside and grabbed their coffee and breakfast sandwiches, then headed over to the Home Depot to grab as many boxes as Mason could shove in the trunk. When they got back to Ms. Sable’s house, Xeni announced her plan of attack.
“I’m thinking about the most important rooms to a prospective buyer, so the master bedroom, the kitchen, the bathrooms and then I want to just see what of her personal items, like personal personal stuff, is just laying around the house.”
The place was very clean, but even Mason noticed notes for doctors appointments Ms. Sable had posted on the fridge. “We’ll go room to room together?”
“Yeah.”
“Great. Let’s do it.”
“One more thing.”
“Sure,” Mason said.
“We had a real wedding. We had a real wedding night. If you know what I’m saying. Ahehehe.”
“I do,” Mason chuckled.
“Why not get real wedding rings? A little something to remember this all by.”
“Do you know your ring size?” he asked.
“No. Do you?”
“Size huge. Monday after I finish at the cafe, would you like to join me down at Ghent St. Jewelers? We’ll get sized up.”
“Love it. There’s one more thing I need from you,” Xeni said.
“What’s that?”
“A kiss.”
Mason set down the flattened boxes and scooped Xeni up. The moment their lips touched, he realized just how much anger and tension he was still holding onto, because as she wrapped her arms tighter around his shoulders, the stress, the pain that was trying to resurface, drained away.
Asking Mason for help was the smart thing to do. For one, there was just too much stuff, at least fifteen years’ worth of accumulated crap. They worked all day, only taking a quick break to finish off the leftover Alfredo for lunch. Around five, they decided to call it quits. Together they were able to pack up the master bedroom, clear all of her aunt’s personal items out of the bathrooms and start on the office.
Xeni gave herself permission to feel how she was going to feel. Laying her aunt to rest twice was hard, but that was before she knew the truth. She’d never been saying goodbye to her aunt. She had said goodbye to her mother. She wasn’t angry anymore. All she could feel was a heavy sadness. It felt like it was pressing down on her f
orehead, causing all her muscles to tense. The physical act of folding Sable’s clothes, sorting through her little knickknacks, at times felt like more than she could handle.
A small plastic bag with two Christmas ornaments made out of yarn. Mardi Gras beads. Six pairs of readers. An unopened pack of Dr. Scholl’s gel inserts. Cotton swabs. Programs for the eight a.m. prayer service at St. Michael’s. A canister of Chock Full O’ Nuts coffee, now brimming with loose change.
Xeni could only think of all the moments she’d missed. She’d had her own moments with her mom and Dante. Good moments. But as she and Mason moved through the house, she wished her mom had let her spend more time with Sable. She understood—well, she was trying to understand—the complicated decision Sable had made to give her up and the choice her mom made in fighting to keep her, but that didn’t stop her from asking the what ifs over and over in her head. After lunch, she decided to focus on packing, on the items themselves. She gave herself permission to keep as many of Sable’s things as she wanted for herself. So far, her own personal box contained two photo albums, an amazing silk shawl and a button that said Spinsters for Obama.
Mason was the perfect partner to help her take on this painful endeavor. He let her work in silence when she clearly had no emotional energy for words. He offered to change their working music to something more upbeat and bizarre when the nineties hits station they were streaming took Xeni back to a particular time and place in her memory that she didn’t want to visit at the moment.
He sat with her on the bedroom floor when she broke down again, seemingly out of nowhere. It was a little jade figurine of a rabbit that set her off. Where had Sable gotten it? Was it a gift? Were rabbits her favorite animal? Mason draped an arm around her as the tears silently fell and in that moment, Xeni realized she had to forgive her mother and maybe go one step further and make the effort to get to know her. She knew next to nothing about her birth father and Sable had been a mythical being in her eyes. Now they were both gone. Xeni didn’t want to look back and wonder simple things about her mom or Dante.
When they finished for the day, they stacked all the full boxes in the dining room. The progress they’d made brought on a sense of morbid satisfaction. She would get through this.
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